4 Reasons Why GLEE Is No Longer For Me

After I watched this week’s episode of Glee, I decided that this week was the final straw. I have been feeling uneasy about the show since the new season started and this week’s scenes helped me to remove the show from my DVR rotation. Glee used to be a fun young adult show about children in high school, enjoying the arts and going through teenage challenges. A few episodes into the new season, I decided to no longer support the show because:

1. Their pushing the homosexual agenda tough and I just don’t agree with that lifestyle at all. I don’t believe that people are born gay, I believe they were created in Christ’s imagine like the bible says. I don’t hate people who are gay, I just don’t support that lifestyle nor do I think showing gay or straight make out scenes repeatedly on a young adult show is appropriate. I would never let my children watch a show like GLEE. Which leads me to my second point.

2. The gay and straight make out scenes on GLEE have gotten completely out of hand!! Two female cheerleaders on top of each other in bed making out!? WTH!!  They constantly have episodes about the gay character Kurt and how everyone in the school hates him besides the GLEE kids. Just because someone does not agree with the gay lifestyle does not make them homophobic and it does not mean that they will participate in hate crimes against gays. I don’t love or hate Kurt’s character, I just don’t support his lifestyle. This week a male football player kissed Kurt on the mouth and is afraid to come out of the closet. The majority of the show was about homosexuality and how hard it is to be an out of the closet gay teen. I know these issues sadly are what a lot of our teens are going through and therefore they talk about it on this show BUT I don’t have to subject myself to the gay agenda, nor the young people around me.

3. GLEE is no longer a clean fun show for teens and families. I feel like they often show the teens in bed heavy petting and dry humping each other. The young man Marty in the wheel chair gave his virginity away to the “school slut,” and later felt major regret; that scene really disappointed me too. The fact that he showed regret was fine BUT WHY did that have to be written into the script in the first place? This isn’t 90210! The teens don’t have to sleep around with one another for the show to get ratings do they? In a day in age where teenage pregnancy, STDs and AIDS are ramped, WHY do we need to promote sexuality and promiscuity on young adult shows?

I know that sex sales but man has it gone to a whole other level. Sex isn’t everything and sex outside of marriage is hurtful, disappointing, lonely, confusing, drama filled and DANGEROUS. Sex outside of marriage is NOT glamorous and steamy, esp for teenagers, like the media tries to trick them into believing. There’s nothing glamorous about a dude taking your virginity, getting you pregnant and leaving you high and drive! I’m just saying this happens everyday.

4. The suggestive songs and dance routines continue to get more and more adult. The show takes place in a high school but it feels more like a college show. I know friends who no longer feel comfortable with their younger siblings (12-15) watching the show due to the heavy sexualized scenes and dance routines. I’m not saying the show has to be boring, or promote holiness, God forbid right? (yes I’m being sarcastic) I’m just saying there’s many types of music to sing and creative routines to do without having to constantly grind on each other and rub your bodies. It’s not cute GLEE!!!!

I erased the series recording of this show and a few others off my DVR last night. I’m learning to have boldness and obedience and no longer support things that grieve my spirit and that I know blatantly go against the word of God. If there is a gay character that’s appropriate on a show, that’s ok but when the shows push the gay agenda, repeatedly show gay and straight sex scenes and things get more wild by the episode, those shows will no longer have my support.

The No Wedding No Womb Campaign

I recently discovered the No Wedding No Womb Campaign and I have much respect for the message that Christelyn D Karazin is promoting to the black community. Ms. Karazin is the founder and organizer of No Wedding No Womb! (NWNW) an online initiative to address and find solutions for the 72 percent out-of-wedlock birthrate in the African American community.

As a social worker supervisor, daily I work with my staff to teach life skills and parenting skills to single mothers. Our clients are getting younger and younger and it saddens me to see a 21 year old woman with four children; the mom doesn’t have an education or a job, she doesn’t receive any child support from the fathers and limited family support. I believe that majority of women today do NOT know their value or their worth. If women knew that they were MORE than baby makers, they would have standards, take pride in their lifestyle and know that they deserve to be happy, healthy successful and loved, not hurt, angry and abandoned to raise babies on their own. The cycle must stop!!

I have a lot of respect for the NWNW campaign because their trying to educate the black community and break the cycle of black children continuing to be born into single parent homes. We must teach people about the importance of healthy relationships, monogamy, marriage and planning to have children. Gone needs to be the days of hooking up with people and shortly afterwards discovering that your pregnant. That behavior is dangerous, irresponsible and unfair to the children that continue to be born into broken homes. I am not saying that all children born into single parent homes are neglected, but studies show that children benefit from two parent homes. Every relationship/marriage doesn’t work out as planned but at least some people try to make those relationships work, even though they fail.

Here is a little information about NWNW:

• What Is No Wedding No Womb?

No Wedding No Womb is a primary call directed to the black community to take action against the rampant births of children who are born without physical, financial and emotional protection.  It is a call for accountability for both MEN and WOMEN to be mindful of the huge responsibility and privilege they have when bringing a child into the world.

NWNW is a double entendre.  The phrase has two meanings.  The primary meaning of “wedding and wedded”, of course, is the marriage ceremony.  The secondary definition means “devotion.”  I chose “womb,” because that is the life source of children, it is the place that feeds, protects and nurtures the child.

• Does No Wedding No Womb Seek to Bash Single Mothers?
• Absolutely not.  NWNW calls for both MEN and WOMEN to put the needs of children first, and advocates that couples abstain from having children until they are emotionally, physically and financially able to care for them.
• What gives you the right to do this?

I’m a baby mamma’ LISTEN TO MY MISSION: 65535 NO WEDDING NO WOMB-2.’  I do this for my daughter, and my daughter’s daughter, and all the children of our future.

To read more about NWNW and discover the answers to the questions below, please checkout the campaigns website

http://www.noweddingnowomb.com/

• When you say, NWNW, are you saying that everyone should get married?

• Is this just another abstinence program?
• Are you bashing black men?

• When you say, “No Wedding No Womb!” are you advocating that women get abortions?

• Aren’t you being  judgmental?

**QUESTION** What do you think about the campaign? What do you agree of disagree with? Do you think the campaign will be affective?

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Single Moms, Dating & Protecting Their Children From Child Abuse

After watching Teen Mom on MTV yesterday, I wanted to publish a post regarding the importance of mother’s selecting appropriate men to be around their children. On Teen Mom, a single mother named Amber kicked her baby’s father out of the house, only to allow an ex con with no job, car or money, whom she met a Wal-Mart a few weeks before, to move into her home with her 2-year-old daughter. She allows the man to baby-sit her child, change her diaper and dress her. The child appears uneasy and uninterested in the boyfriend, though Amber tries to get the child to hug and play with him. After the episode I began to ask myself why some young mother’s continue to make such horrible decisions when it comes to dating and who is around their children.

As a social worker, I see countless cases every year where a young mother left her children alone with a boyfriend and the boyfriend repeatedly physically or sexually abused her children. The children eventually report the abuse to a friend, family member or teacher, CPS is called and the children are removed from their home. As mothers, we must make our children our top priority and protect them no matter what.

I googled this topic and found an awesome article explaining why mother’s often times find themselves making bad choices when it comes to men as well as an awesome campaign and resources to prevent child abuse. Please review the excerpts I posted below and click the links to read the articles in full.

Dr. Melva Green, a clinical psychiatrist, said the issue of child abuse by a mother’s companion is striking because it points to other issues. Green reports that it’s not an issue of good mother or bad mother but an issue of mother’s being out of touch. She also adds that it’s not a race issue but more about socio-economics. In some cases moms leaving the home to provide for a child’s physical needs, can’t afford childcare, and because their busy working to make ends meet they are unable to see the potential dangers. Green explained that there is also an emotional burden on the men which doesn’t justify the abuse but might help explain the increase in violence towards children. Some men left to care for the children become upset, “resentment plays itself out, and the child is the victim.”

New York’s Administration for Children Services noticed the trend and decided to take action of their own. Late this summer they kicked off a campaign entitled, “Be Careful Who Cares For Your Child.” The campaign includes radio ads from celebrities such as Darryl McDaniels from RUN DMC. Posters are being posted on New York City subways and throughout communities all across the city.

For mothers she advices, “Read that child. If a child is not able communicate but you see that when you’re about to leave them alone, they are more clingy than usual, more restless, any thing in excess, then they might not be comfortable being left alone with that person.” Green also cautions against a rush to judgment. She says that because mothers are told to trust their instincts and some don’t, it’s easy to blame mothers for their perceived ineptness. Instead she says it’s important to remember that those mothers may have been victimized at some point in their lives thus affecting a cycle. She believes advocating self-care of mothers in which they evaluate their emotional well-being and stress levels will help them take care of themselves, and in turn their children.

http://www.thegrio.com/news/moms-told-beware-who-is-watching-your-kids.php

When choosing a caregiver, parents should select someone who:

• Has experience caring for babies and young children
• Is patient and mature enough to care for a fussy, overexcited or crying baby
• Understands that young children must always be watched
• Will never shake, hit, yell at, make fun of, or withhold food from a child as punishment
• Does not abuse alcohol or drugs, or carry a weapon, and will not surround a child with others who may be drinking, using or selling drugs, or carrying weapons.

There are warning signs of a potentially dangerous caregiver include someone who is:

• Angry or severely impatient when children have tantrums, cry or misbehave
• Violent and/or controlling with their partners
• Physically or verbally abusive with children
• An abuser of alcohol and drugs, including marijuana
• Using prescription medications that have bad side effects or make them drowsy, or  
• Not trust worthy for any reason

Resources

• The Parent Helpline at 800-342-7472 or visit www.preventchildabuseny.org
• Safe Horizon Domestic Violence Hotline 800-621-HOPE (800-621-4673), TDD (Hearing Impaired) 866-604-5350
• To Report child abuse and neglect call 800-342-3720 or 311

http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/html/child_safety/care_giver_campaign.shtml

Sins of The Mother

In Feb of 2010, Life Time aired a movie titled Sins of The Mother. Here’s a summary of the movie: Graduate student Shay Hunter (Beharie) reaches a crossroad in her life when she finds herself broke, burned out and unable to cope with the stress of school. With nowhere else to go, she embarks on a journey home to Tacoma, Washington, to face her abusive, alcoholic, estranged mother, Nona (Scott). When she returns home, Shay finds Nona living life as a recovered alcoholic, with a new daughter and completely transformed. Thrown by her mother’s new path, Shay must now accept Nona’s changes and influences, including her sponsor Lois (Rogers) — all forcing Shay to move past her pent-up anger and awaken her own relationships.

Read more: SINS OF THE MOTHER – Lifetime Movie Starring Jill Scott | Daemon’s TV http://www.daemonstv.com/2010/02/21/sins-of-the-mother-lifetime-movie-starring-jill-scott/#ixzz0xRD3XIdw

I thought the movie was deep because even though the mother had gotten clean, was going to church and being a good mother to her younger daughter, her older daughter still struggled with the abuse and neglect that she suffered at the hands of her mother from the past. The young lady had to find peace and forgive her mother so that she could have a happy life and healthy relationships. If you haven’t seen the movie, I suggest you check it out.

As a social worker/counselor, everyday I see or hear about cases where parents made bad decisions that had grave effects on their children. If a mother chooses the wrong man to date and allows him to have access to her children, the children could end up being molested or abused, this happens everyday. If parents don’t ensure that their children go to school everyday AND teach them at home, the children will not flourish educationally and may grow up to be illiterate.

People need to understand the purpose of becoming a mother. It is not: to collect money from the State, to keep a man from leaving, to have children to boss around and to wait on your hand and foot and it is not to have someone who will love you and never leave you. I believe women should plan to become mothers after they are in healthy stable marriages. I belive that the purpose of being a parent is to raise up men and women for the kingdom of God, to cultivate children and teach them how to be intelligent, confident, productive, kind, compassionate, giving citizens.

When people abuse their authority as a mother and mistreat children or expose them to things that are harmful to them, the children in turn grow up to be angry, struggle with feelings of rejection, low self-esteem and more. As parents we can’t afford to live our lives like we are single and without kids. When we made the decision to become parents, we gave up our right to stay out all night, do what we want and only care for ourselves. We must seek help if we have unresolved issues that cause us to not be the parents that we have been called to be. We must seek mentors and spiritual guidance from our leaders if we feel that we don’t have a good enough understanding about how to parent appropriately. Our children need us to be alert, aware, protecting them, teaching them, loving, encouraging and supporting them. When we sin it affects them. When we mess up, we must apologize to our kids and God and ask God to help us get it right the next time.

As the movie Sins of The Mother showed, even when the mother/parent gets themselves stable and cleaned up, the children don’t miraclously forget the pain of the past. As parents we must live good lives and be examples today so that our children’s tomorrow can be bright.

As a woman embarking on motherhood, I have come to understand that the things that I do, say, eat, meditate on, all affect my baby. If I engage in strenuous physical activities, always find myself arguing with someone, eating horribly and meditating on worry filled thoughts, I would be causing harm to my unborn baby. It’s my job as a mommy to be, to stay calm and healthy so that my baby can grow strong on the inside of me. I have a choice, to nurture or harm the life inside of me.

Prayer for Mothers

Dear Lord, thank you for all of the mothers and mothers to be. Thank you for blessing us with children. Lord help us to be the best mothers that we can be. Guide us and give us wisdom so that we live lives that bring you glory and so that can become blessing to our children. Help us to be patient and keep our tempers. Give us insight on how to handle our children when they are misbehaving. For the single mothers, send helpers and mentors their way to help them with their children and to show them how to be better women and mothers. For the mothers that are married, Lord help us to parent as a team with our husbands. Help us to allow our husbands to be the head of the house and support them in the decisions that they make. Lord forgive us for the sins of the past. Help us to forgive ourselves and to be the best women, wives and mothers that we can be. Thank you for the grace needed to be awesome moms. In Jesus name, AMEN!

A Happy Father’s Day Message With Love

For the 28 1/2 years that I’ve been on this earth, I’ve been blessed to have such an awesome father, Jeff Wood. My dad has always been there to care for me, support me, pray for me, correct me, teach me, praise me, compliment me and spend time laughing and having fun with me. I never went a day without his love. I have never questioned my father’s dedication to God, my mom or his family. I am forever grateful to God for blessing me with my father.

I don’t take my father for granted because I know many people have never met their fathers or he hasn’t been consistently in their lives. To those individuals I want to say the my Lord and Savior is the Ultimate Father and He loves you and will never leave you! If you don’t know Him but want to, send me a message below and I can introduce you!

What’s awesome about God is when we truly surrender our lives to Him, He shows us how to be the man/woman of God that He’s called us to be. My father did not have a good example of a dad growing up. His father was in the home but didn’t take an active role in the parenting, he abused alcohol and was hanging out a lot. My parents got saved when they were 19 years old and my dad made a decision to live for God all the way, to be a man of God, to lead his home and to raise his children according to the word of God.

My dad is not perfect, no one is, but I wanted to share his testimony because many people wonder if they can be a good person or can be loved or used by God because of what they’ve been through or exposed to. With God ALL things are possible!! If you ask ANYTHING in God’s name, He will do it! If you want to be a better father, mother, student, spouse, professional, Christian etc God can help you do it!! Don’t use your up bringing or past as an excuse. God is willing and able. He’s faithful!!

My parents a decision at a young age to live for God and I am so very glad they did!! Because of their obedience to God and continual prayers, teaching and godly example, my brother and I are both married to wonderful Christian spouses and were both serving at our churches and living for God! Parents your children are watching you and their going to be affected by what they hear and see you do! Make sure your showing them the right way!!

Happy Father’s Day to my brother Joel, I’m so proud of the man, father and husband that you have become!! Happy Father’s Day to all Eddie and I’s uncles and cousins that are fathers. Also Happy Father’s Day to ALL the new fathers and fathers to be that I know! It’s many of you guys and I’m excited about the children you all will raise for the Kingdom of God! To every father whose working hard to love on their children, raise them right and provide for their families, I say thank you, God bless you and Happy Fathers Day!!!!!

Love, MARRIAGE, Then Comes Baby in The Baby Carriage

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love weddings and I love marriage. Between 2008 and 2010 we know almost 50 couples that have gotten married; needles to say we’ve been to A LOT of weddings! My husband and I are always excited when we see young, black couples on fire for God and taking their relationship to the next level, marriage. Love is committment and to see happy and excited grooms taking their bride and vowing to take care of her and love her as Christ loved the church is an AWESOME thing to apart of. All men aren’t out here trying to shack up with women and have lots of baby mamas. There are men who love God and trying their best to live holy and honor God in their bodies! If you don’t know any men like this, then you need to ask God to show you to a church home that teaches the word of God. Go where God leads you and He will take care of the rest.

So usually there’s friendship, courtship, dating, engagement, marriage and then after a while a baby arrives. Now that wedding season has come and gone, it’s now to be baby season!! I know 26 ladies that are pregnant now or gave birth this year. Many of my family and friends had babies last year as well. 19 of the 24 ladies are married and that’s a great number if you ask me. Babies are a blessing regardless as to whether the parents are married when the child is conceived or not. Also, I don’t believe in people getting married just because a woman is pregnant. Marriage is forever and each couple needs to be sure that they love each other enough to stay together for life through the good, bad, happy or sad. If you aren’t sure, DON’T SAY I DO!

I went to one of my closest friend’s baby’s shower this past weekend. Her name is Rolisia and we have been friend’s since 1999. We met when we were 17 1/2 years old up at Oakland University. Rolisia has been like a sister to me throughout my adult life. Her shower was filled with love, class, elegance and fun. There were several other married pregnant women at her shower. I pray this was encouraging to the single women as well as the married women who don’t have children yet. I know it blessed me to see how God answers pray and always blesses the faithful.

The speech she gave at the end of the shower really touched me. Rolisia spoke about how good God is for blessing her with the ability to conceive a child and how she can’t complain about the challenges of pregnancy because many women can’t carry a child. Her husband was present at the shower and she took time to publicly acknowledge how awesome he takes care of her. I really loved that part! She shared how Clarence takes care of everything for her from the big things to the little things. To myself I thought, that’s what it’s all about.

God did not intend for women to be poor, exhausted and stressed out single mothers. God intended for a husband and a wife (meaning men and women only) to have children and raise them up for the kingdom together. When marriages are strong and have Christ at the center, I’m sure parenting is much easier. It is impossible to parent appropriately and effectively when the parent’s are fighting (verbally and physically) in front of the children, neglecting the children, the home, bills and each other because their all out for self. We all need Christ. It’s only because of His love, mercy and grace, that we are able to wake up each morning and be in good health and our right minds.

As married couples, our job is to raise and train up godly seed that will grow up to be holy, bold and strong warriors for Christ. The next generation needs leaders that will not do things the worlds way but will bring their peers closer to Christ. I’m so excited that many of my friends are having baby boys because we need more godly men in the world. Men that will respect themselves, the women around them, stay out of jail, stay in school and be leaders at their churches but also in their communities! Children don’t just grow up to be great, we as parents and families have to pray, teach and role model for them. I’m excited about this season of babies and my husband and I are in expectation for when God blesses us with a baby. Whether your married or single, have children or not, lets continue to for the youth of today and our children and future seed. The young people need Christ more than ever before! God is faithful and He hears and WILL answer our prayers!!

10 Ways To Protect Your Children From Sexual Abuse

Stats on childhood sexual abuse:

*An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.
*1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
*1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.

Even within the walls of our own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse:

*30-40% of victims are abused by family members.
*Another 50% are abused outside of the home by someone who they know and trust.
*Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
*Therefore only 10% are abused by strangers.
*Over 30% of victims never disclose the abuse to anyone.

http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp/

As adults and parents, it is our job to protect our children and keep them safe. It is up to us to break our silence about the abuse that we may have suffered as adults and make better choices when it comes to raising our children. It is not strangers that are abusing and raping our children, it’s people we know, such as our family members, neighbors, babysitters and family friends. We must wake up and not ignore the signs that someone may not be suituable to watch our children. We must stop being in such a hurry to find anyone to watch our children so that we can get to work or have some time to hang out with our friends. God blessed us with these children and we must not take them for granted or treat them like they don’t matter. We are going to be accountable to God for how we treat our children.

Often times parents have been sexually abused as children because their parents left them with cousins, boyfriends or babysitters that weren’t appropriate. The parents grew up, never disclose the abuse they suffered and they figure they’ve just gotten over it. In turn, those parents make the same mistake that their parent’s made. They leave their children with cousins, boyfriends/girlfriends or babysitters who abuse their children and the viscous cycle continues.  We MUST break generational curse of sexual abuse over our families. We MUST take a stand and say NO MORE!! No more will the family turn a blind eye to the family member who continues to touch the children inappropriately, to the family friend that is always trying to get your children to sit on his lap or to have alone time with them. Everyone CAN’T have access to your children!!! WAKE UP PARENTS, you can’t afford not to be prayed up and following the Holy Spirit when it comes to your children.

If you are a parent who has been abused, seek godly counsel and get restoration. Read the word of God, join a local church that is teaching the word of God and consider joining a support group for childhood sexual abuse survivors. Learn how to cope, heal and be strong once again. Learn the signs of sexual abuse and how to protect your children. Don’t allow just anyone to watch your children. Pray and ask God to guide you regarding who should have access to your children.

My parents didn’t allow my brother and I to spend long periods of time at family or friends houses, especially overnight, and the individuals that they choose to watch us had the same morals, values and house hold rules as them. We weren’t allowed to go over people’s houses that weren’t going to properly supervise us.  My parents encouraged my friends and cousins to come to our house a lot to play. That way my parents could keep an eye on what was going on and they knew that their children were safe. Yes parents, this means you have to sacrifice and babysit other people’s children on the weekends sometimes instead of sending your children away to other people’s houses, but isn’t it worth it to know that your precious angels are safe and not being exposed to pornography and molestation? Everyone knows what happens in the basements at relatives houses or other people’s houses. Older cousin’s like to show younger cousin’s porn, give them drinks, cigarettes and weed. Anyone who doesn’t have the same supervision, morales and values as you should not have access to your children. You work hard to keep your children innocent, why allow other people’s children to come around and take that innocence from them?

10 Ways You Can Protect Your Children From Sexual Abuse

To read the descriptions of each point in detail, please go to the link below:

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/4507/10-ways-you-can-protect-your-child-from-sexual-abuse/

1. Follow your gut

2. Choose your child over the approval of your peers

3. Think twice about people who push hard about your boundaries.

4. Take your own history into account.

5. Consider not leaving your children until they can talk.

6. Avoid situations where people you don’t know will be present.

7.  Tell the child in front of the caregiver that this person will not touch or harm them in anyway.

8. Give your child permission to cry, speak, protest when they feel boundaries are being crossed.

9. Have a no one gets in trouble policy.

10. Listen to your children.

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Not Just Another Baby’s Daddy

In today’s society, there are thousands and thousands of children being raised in fatherless homes or homes where the father is physically present but not taking an active role in the parenting, educating or discipline of the children. Our children need their fathers to step up to the plate and be more than babies daddies. Here are stats below about children without fathers and a top 20 list of reasons why children need their fathers to be active parents. 

Single ladies, make sure you married men that have the characteristics of great future fathers. If he’s lazy, selfish and lacks compassion and patience, he probably WON’T make a good dad, so let him keep steppin! 

Married ladies, include your husbands in the parenting, discipline and overall raising of the children. Let him lead the household as the bible instructs him to do. Take a team approach and raise the household together. 

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average 

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average. 

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control) 

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26) 

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report) 

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction) 

http://www.children-ourinvestment.org/T&TStats-ChildrenWithoutFathers.html 

20 reasons why your child needs you to be an active father 

Fathers play a critical role in the development of their children; however, many fathers are uncertain about the responsibilities and privileges associated with this role. Children need fathers who love and care for them on a consistent basis. The latest research indicates that fathers who are actively involved in raising their children can make a positive and lasting difference in their lives. In contrast, this same research reveals a number of potentially negative outcomes for children whose fathers are not involved. Listed below are 20 reasons why your child needs you to be an active father. 

Being an active father: 

1. Lets your child know that you love her. Love involves more than saying the words, “I love you.” Fathers who love their children demonstrate their love by spending quality and quantity time together. Children who feel loved are more likely to develop a strong emotional bond with their father and a healthy self-esteem.
2. Provides your child with greater financial resources. Research clearly indicates that families with an active father are “better off” financially. This means that children with active fathers will be more likely to have access to resources that facilitate healthy development (e.g., food, clothing, shelter, quality medical care).
3. Provides your child with a positive male role model. Children, regardless of gender, need positive male and female role models. Children tend to model behavior (positive and negative) that they witness on a consistent basis. Active fathers can promote positive behaviors by setting a proper example for their children.
4. Provides your child with emotional support. In addition to financial support, children also need emotional support from their parents. Active fathers listen and support their children when they experience joy, sadness, anger, fear, and frustration. Fathers who support their children emotionally tend to raise children who are more in-tune with the needs of others.
5. Enhances your child’s self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to how a person feels about himself. Children with high self-esteem tend to be happier and more confident than children with low self-esteem. Active fathers promote their children’s self-esteem by being fully involved in their lives and letting them know that they are highly valued.
6. Enhances your child’s intellectual development. Children who are raised with actively involved fathers tend to score higher on measures of verbal and mathematical ability, and also demonstrate greater problem-solving and social skills.
7. Provides your child with guidance and discipline. From infancy, children need proper guidance and discipline. Active fathers play an important role in teaching their children proper behavior by setting and enforcing healthy limits.
8. Gives your child someone to play with. One of the primary ways that fathers bond with their children is through play. According to researchers, there are qualitative differences in the ways fathers and mothers play with their children. Fathers tend to use a more physical style of play (e.g., wrestling) that offers a number of benefits to children, including enhanced cognitive ability.
9. Provides your child with someone to talk to when she has questions. Young children are full of questions. This natural curiosity helps them learn about their environment. Active fathers can be a valuable source of information for children who are seeking answers to life’s important questions.
10. Increases your child’s chances for academic success. Children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives are more likely to achieve academic success than children whose fathers are not actively involved. These academic benefits appear to extend into adulthood.
11. Provides your child with an alternative perspective on life. Research indicates that men and women often differ in their parenting styles; however, one style is not necessarily better than the other. Instead, it can be healthy for children to be exposed to different perspectives on life, such as a father’s.
12. Lowers your child’s chances for early sexual activity. Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to engage in early sexual activity, thus reducing their chances for teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
13. Lowers your child’s chances for school failure. Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to drop out of school than children with uninvolved fathers.
14. Lowers your child’s chances for youth suicide. Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to commit suicide than children with uninvolved fathers.
15. Lowers your child’s chances for juvenile delinquency. The benefits of having an active father throughout a child’s early years extend into the teen years as well. Children with active fathers are less likely to commit juvenile crimes than children with inactive fathers.
16. Lowers your child’s chances for adult criminality. The chances that a child will commit crimes as an adult also diminish when he grows up with an actively involved father.
17. Provides your child with a sense of physical and emotional security. One of the major benefits that fathers can provide to their children by being actively involved is a sense of security (physical and emotional). By being actively involved in a child’s life, a father promotes a trusting relationship. The child does not have to worry about being abandoned.
18. Facilitates your child’s moral development. Children need a moral compass to guide them when they face difficult moral choices. Fathers, like mothers, help children to develop a sense of right and wrong that serves as a foundation for establishing moral character.
19. Promotes a healthy gender identity in your child. Boys and girls benefit from having healthy role models from both sexes. Research points to the fact that mothers and fathers socialize their children in different ways. Fathers can help their children, especially boys, to develop a healthy sense of what it means to be a male.
20. Helps your child learn important life skills. Most of the essential life skills that children need to survive are learned within the home. Fathers have a unique opportunity to teach their children valuable skills that will enable them to grow up to be healthy and productive adults. Fathers, your children need you! Make a commitment to be an active father. Your children will greatly benefit from your involvement in their lives.

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