1. Do your conversations with your friends include things that should be kept between you and your spouse?
2. Do you find yourself daydreaming about your friend?
3. Have you found yourself withdrawing from your spouse emotionally or physically?
4. Do you look for excuses to see or talk to your friend?
5. Do you share thoughts, feelings or problems with your friend instead of your spouse?
6. Are you convinced that your friend understands you better than your spouse?
7. Is there flirting or sexual tension between you and your friend?
8. Do you look for “legal” ways to touch your friend (brush lint off his jacket, help her with her coat)?
9. Do you find yourself paying attention to how you look before you see your friend?
10. Is there any secrecy about your relationship (how much time you spend together, what you do together, what you talk about)
Protect Your Marriage
No marriage is affair proof. We are all at risk of losing our focus and being swept into an emotional affair. But you can do several things to safeguard your marriage:
1. Stay honest with yourself and with your spouse. If you find yourself attracted to someone, admit it quickly to yourself and to your spouse. Honest is the key to preventing a relationship from escalating into an affair.
2. Avoid magazines, movies and other forms of entertainment that can increase your tolerance of affairs.
3. Try to see your relationship from your spouses perspective. What would your spouse be comfortable with? How would he or sh feel about what you are doing?
4. Do not flirt. Most affairs begin with what’s considered “innocent flirting,” but there’s no such thing! Flirting is not a part of friendship.
5. Keep your marriage as your No. 1 priority. Make sure you are working to meet your spouse’s most important needs. If you’re not sure what those are, ask.
6. Grow together spiritually. Pray with each other and for each other.
7. Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. For instance, you and your spouse may decided that either of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work.
8. Surround yourself with happily married couples who don’t believe in fooling around.
I’m happy to say that my husband and I talked about many of the tips on this list before we got married and we work hard to implement these tips now. We aren’t perfect and our marriage is still new, only three years, but we are trying our best to affair proof our marriage. We believe that marriage is forever, therefore we know that honesty is a must. If your marriage needs support, I encourage you to seek a marriage counselor and learn how to start trusting and communicating with one another again.