My 2nd VBAC Birth Story

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This time last year my husband and I discovered that I was pregnant with our third child. Our youngest was only four months old so imagine the multiple emotions that all hit me at once like a mack truck when the test said POSITIVE!! YIKES!! My hubby started grinning and gave me a reassuring pep talk about how everything was going to be ok and he was right! My pregnancy was smooth sailing. My growing girl Elaina continued to nurse like a champ despite people continuing to say that she would refuse my milk since I was pregnant.

Now let me fast forward to the good part, the delivery 🙂 I got induced just like I had with my other two birthes, I guess my body just doesn’t like going into labor on it’s own. My doula was in a accelerated graduate program and temporarily unable to take clients. My mom, who had also one of my labor coaches, staid home to care for our girls who were three and one at the time. It was just my husband and I in the hospital, patiently waiting our son’s arrival.

My first daughter Elyssa, was born via emergency csection due to her being in distress because the cord was wrapped around her neck. My second daughter Elaina was my first vaginal birth after a csection (VBAC) and I was planning for my second VBAC with my son. I signed the VBAC consent form and began my journey. My OB is awesome and very supportive so I wasn’t concerned about being pressured into having a unnecessary csection.

Things were peaceful in the hospital. My husband and I walked the halls some but we mostly watched movies and rested while we waited for the strong contractions to come. Thankfully I did not have back labor like I did with Elaina. Back labor was so uncomfortable and the epidural provided no relief for my back. My doc let me take a break from the induction meds so we could eat dinner and we really appreciated that. Nothing worst then being hungry and not being in active labor. It feels like things are moving so slow with no end in sight.

The next morning my OB broke my water and oh boy is that the craziest feeling. Your in bed with hot fluid continually gushing out of you. The contractions started and I got my epidural but then had a bad reaction to it and needed some quick simple medical intervention to stabilize my blood pressure. At around 3:45pm the contractions got really strong and I started dialating quickly. My husband teases me saying he knows it’s almost time to push when I start humming and singing during my contractions. I make a low sound while trying to breathe, focus and stay in control during the pain and pressure. Hey at least I don’t yell and curse during them right! I can’t believe that I’ve  actually never cried during labor. It’s like I have my war clothes on and I can’t afford to lose it.

My dad was home so he staid with the girls and my mom rushed up to the hospital right before it was time to push. My birth photographer made it on time as well and it was time to get the show on the road!! I was about to get my second VBAC and I was overjoyed!!

I delivered our son in six intense minutes!! There was a time when I thought I may not get to experience vaginal birth but I prayed, had determination and a awesome doctor and support system and God granted my request!! It was a awesome feeling to have everyone encouraging me and cheering me on as I brought my son, Eddie IV, into the world. We were all blown away when we disovered that he weighed 10.3lbs!!! My big healthy boy!! Thank you Jesus!!

I had a scary moment of unexpected blood clot issues but the doctors moved fast and quickly got me stable. I’m so glad my husband and mom were there with me during that ordeal. Everything with my son and I checked out great and I insisted on going home 24hrs later. I’m still so grateful to God for my granting me with another beautiful baby and the birth of my choice. Birth without fear!!

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As you can imagine I’ve been very busy being a stay at home mom of three children under four. I will be writing about my motherhood journey alot!! I love being a wife and mom!! My husband Eddie is a awesome husband and hands on dad, we make a great team!! In between jungling the kids, housework, time with hubby, time for myself, my family, friends, church and photography business, I want to write in my blog more. I love writing and thank you to those who read and share my post!!!

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Breastfeeding, Pregnancy and Housework OH MY! My SAHM Update

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I’ve had the privilege of staying at home with my girls full time for the last four months. While life has been busy, it truly has been rewarding and lots of fun. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to have my family and home be my main focus and responsibility. Many people believe the myth that being a SAHM means you get to lounge around all day, talk on the phone and eat snacks; where anyone would get such a ridiculous idea I have no clue!! For me being a SAHM means serving my husband and my children and taking care of home full time without the responsibility of full time outside work. Being a SAHM is work that I LOVE and ADORE doing most of the time but don’t get it twisted, it IS WORK.

Our girls are 2 1/2 and 8 months and it’s so cool to watch them grow and learn new things right before my eyes. Of course there is the constant challenge of learning to balance time with my husband, playing, teaching and disciplining the girls and getting things done around the house. Some days the laundry or the dishes don’t get done and I have to learn to be okay with that.

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To ensure that I get rest and stay sane, I wake my girls up early so that they can be tired at a decent time for a nap and have an early bed time. There’s lots of cooking, cleaning, bathing, playing, disciplining, teaching, cuddling, bathing, tickling, reading and arts and crafts going on throughout the day. I start my day running and by the end of some days I haven’t eaten much, my hair never left my scarf and my body is aching but I go to bed still grateful for the chance to be at home and not in the work force.

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Last November, my husband and I were surprised and overjoyed to find out that we were expecting another baby. Our youngest daughter was four months at that time. In the midst of my shock and mixed emotions, my awesome husband was happy and very encouraging. My husband reminded me that God was with us, we were a great team and everything would be fine. Now I am almost five months pregnant and everything with baby and I has been great. This week we found out that we’re expecting a baby boy!! We’re over the moon excited to welcome our son into our family this July.

To many people’s surprise, Elaina and I still have a great nursing relationship. It IS possible to nurse while pregnant. For me, nursing while pregnant hasn’t been any different from when I nursed my oldest daughter Elyssa. Many people, including one doctor, told that me that my milk would dry up soon after pregnancy and Elaina would refuse my milk but so far neither of those things have happened thank God. I believe that God will give me peace about when to wean her. My prayer is that she and I will both be okay with weaning when the time comes and it will be a smooth transition before our son is born.

The everyday challenges of being a SAHM plus being pregnant, nursing a baby and chasing a toddler makes for some very interesting, tiring days. But I most say that it hasn’t been as challenging as I thought it would be and I give all glory to God for that. God continues to give me the grace, energy, joy and wisdom needed to care for the girls and stay rested and healthy for myself and my son. The days that I have energy I pick different projects to do like cooking multiple meals, clean the house, do laundry etc, and the days that I don’t have energy, I care for the girls and make sure we’re all feed and safe lol. My husband is a great cook and has lots of patience so when I’m tired and short tempered, he steps in, cooks and cares for the girls while I rest. It’s a HUGE blessing to have a spouse who is helpful and selfless with a kind heart. I love you Eddie Willis III and I thank God for you!!!!!

As moms we go through different seasons in life, sometimes we work inside the home and sometimes we work outside the home; there isn’t a right or a wrong regarding this in my opinion. Being a SAHM is not for everyone and I would never say that all women should stay home with their children. Being at home full time requires a certain amount of grace and patience that I believe only God can give and it’s not for everyone! I have my Masters in Counseling and I know that my career days are not over. I love counseling others, helping them overcome obstacles and reach their goals. Let me just say that I loved my job. I was a Social Worker for nine years and I believed in the work that we did to help our community. The last year that I was working, I felt that the time was drawing near for me to close that chapter of my life for a period and start a new one. Now instead of heading to meetings and conducting sessions with families, I’m watching the clock to keep my girls on their schedule, helping them grow, learn and conducting playdates and I LOVE IT!

I’m finding that I have more time and energy for my husband which is awesome. On his off days, we spend time together with our children and without them. As I mentioned earlier, my hubby is a hands on husband and dad and he makes sure he helps around the house and with the girls. (He’s always fixing something to save us money. It pays to have a husband whose good with his hands!) He also pushes me to go out and take some “me time” or hang out with my girlfriends often. As you can imagine with me not having to deal with the stress and politics that come with working outside the home and him helping around the house, things have been pretty hott in the bedroom!!! That’s evident by our current bun in the oven! We’re a young happily married couple and we make time to enjoy one another! We’re determined not to get caught up in work and children and never take time to talk, laugh or love on one another. I desire him and he desires me. Team Willis all the way baby!!

I love photography and this past December I started my own business called J. Victoria Photography. I’ve worked with some amazing people and children and I’m having lots of fun! I’m still developing my skill and learning the business but I’m enjoying the process! I created a studio inside my home so I get to work from home doing a few sessions a week and it’s something I love doing so that’s really cool! I want my clients to have a great experience and receive good quality pictures at an affordable price. I’d love for my readers to “like” my J. Victoria Photography Facebook page and if you’re in Michigan, message me about our promotions and packages, please visit https://www.facebook.com/Jvictoriaphotography

If you’re a stay at home mom please be encouraged. I know some days you may not feel appreciated, hubby may not say thank you and the children may behave like wild animals, but tomorrow will be better. We must continue to seek our Heavenly Father and thank Him for providing us the chance to be home for this season and ask Him to continue to equipt us with everything we need while we are in it. Remember, you ARE a great mom and you ARE doing an awesome job!!!

VBAC Baby!! A Birth Story To Remember!!

Today our baby girl turns three months! She was born on 6/13/13. After almost 48hours of induced labor, I was blessed to have a successful VBAC! Here is my birth story and why I decided to attempt a VBAC birth (vaginal birth after Csection)

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On 4/1/11 I had an emergency Csection with our first daughter Elyssa. I was induced at 37 weeks because the fluid around Elyssa was too low, my BP was high and I had protein in my urine. After being in the hospital for almost 48hours, pumped with different medications, being subject to different interventions attempting to jump start labor, being forced to stay in bed on one side because of my BP, the already challenging and disappointing experience ended in an emergency Csection. In surgery it was discovered that the umbilical cord was wrapped around Elyssa’s neck which was causing her heart rate to drop. Though I was sad and disappointed about having to have the Csection, I believed that we made the right decision. Elyssa and I’s health was at risk and I was grateful that we both were ok and able to leave the hospital together without any complications.

While I had to seek God’s peace and determine to be happy despite not having the birth that I desired, I did determine that I wanted to attempt a VBAC the next time. When we found out that we were pregnant on Elyssa’s first birthday, we were both so surprised and overjoyed. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage the next month. I was heart broken and we sought couples grief counseling immediately. I wanted to build myself back up emotionally, spiritually and physically so that we could get pregnant again. God showed himself faithful and on our last day of counseling, we reported to our therapist that I was one month pregnant. While I was super excited to be able to conceive again, I knew I had a journey ahead of me. I wanted a complication free, worry free, peaceful pregnancy and a successful VBAC birth. I truly believe that NOTHING is too big for my God so I took my fears, anxiety and concerns to the cross and asked God to guide me and protect my baby and help my body to do all that he created it to do.

I messaged Keva Zeigler Williams, who is also a doula and a associate of mine on FB, and asked her if she knew of any doula’s in the Southfield MI area that were knowledgeable about VBACs that would work with me for a reduced fee. The associate messaged me back within a few hours and gave me the information to a lady name Cate Stolz. She said that she reached out to her doula network and asked if anyone would be able to help me and Cate replied and said that she’d love to meet me. I contacted Cate that day, set up and interview and the rest is history! We immediately clicked and we hired her as our doula.

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Cate met with my husband, mom and I three times to develop my birth plan and to educate us about VBAC’s, medication options, tips for natural labor, positions and massages to assist with labor and so much more. Cate was always respectful of our desires and beliefs and remained patient and compassionate as she answered my questions and eased my mind about certain concerns.

I educated myself about VBAC’s and talked to my friend Erica Andrews who had been blessed to have a successful VBAC. My network of mommy friends were encouraging me, praying for me and cheering me on every step of the way. Erica, Stephanie and Shereena had all had awesome experience with doulas and midwives and were helpful in educating me about why a doula would be a added blessing during my birth. My husband was on board with me birth plan and was hopeful that I would get the birth that I desired. He remained encouraging and supportive from the beginning to the end.

My BP remained stable and the end of my pregnancy arrived and Elaina appeared to be very comfortable in my womb. I was not dilating or showing any signs that labor was approaching. My OB told me that she would induce me at 41 weeks if I had not gone into labor on my own. At 39 weeks I became concerned and desperate to go into labor on my own. I tried many recommended methods to induce labor naturally. I read a book by my friends Pastors Rich and Karla Walker entitled How To Give Birth In The Presence Of The Lord. I contacted Pastor Karla on FB and told her about my desire to go into labor naturally and to have a VBAC. Pastor Karla sent me encouraging words about the remaining days of my pregnancy as well as my labor and delivery. After asking me a series of questions, she also developed a Customized Natural-Induction Guide just for me. The tools given to me inside my CNIG helped me to remain at peace and the interventions used helped to prepare my body for labor.

I was induced on Tuesday night, 6/11/13. I was concerned that being induced would cause me to end up with a repeated Csection but I continued to pray and ask God to be with me and our baby. My doula Cate came to that hospital everyday that I was there, sometimes twice a day. My husband and mother also remained by myself. Unlike with my first pregnancy, I was educated about the different interventions and medications and was able to advocate for myself. I was confident and bold enough to say no when the doctor’s on call attempted to rush and intimidate me into breaking my water too early. I was bold enough to fire one doctor who was clearly not in support of my VBAC and was cocky and even rude. I continued to get out of bed and walk the halls and get on the exercise ball until I received the epidural later in the day on 6/12/13. The nurses were frustrated because they had to continue adjusting the baby monitor on my belly because I wouldn’t stay in bed and just lay on back like a good patient. My husband told me not to worry about the monitor, just to remain active and let them come in and fix it.

I received an epidural after being in labor for 24hours with no pain medications and no labor progression. I had been at 5cms all day and was in a lot of pain. I tried one dosage of pain meds in my IV but that was a huge disappointment. The IV meds may have worked for 20 mins and then the intense pain was back and for some reason felt even worse than before. I was afraid to get the epidural because when attempting a VBAC, you should avoid as many interventions as you can so that you decrease your chances of complications. Also when I received the epidural with Elyssa, her heart rate immediately went down and I was wheeled into the OR. After receiving the epidural I was able to get a good nights sleep and prepare for the big day.

The next morning is when I fired the doctor on call because of his negative attitude and him telling me that the chances of me receiving a Csection that day was high. I knew that I had not been making progress, that my water had been broken the previous afternoon and that I had a Csection once and might end up with another. I DID NOT need a cocky doctor with poor bedside manner to wake me up at 6am to tell me those facts. My internal monitors to monitor my contractions and the baby’s heart rate continued to come out (I had them both inserted three times a piece already) and the doctor was insisting on going inside of me and putting them back on and my husband said no. He told him that my cervix is shaped awkward and it’s hard to get to, therefore it hurts like high heaven everytime Im checked. Also, since my water has been broken, to reduce the risk of infection, we should reduce the number of checks and internal interventions. The doctor continued to insist that I had to get the monitors inserted again anyway. I said ok thank you and when he left the room and informed my nurse that I wanted another doctor assigned to my case and I wanted to speak to my OB immediately.

It turned out that my OB was on her way to the hospital to see me. It was 7:30am by this time. She checked me and I was at 8cms! I was overjoyed after being at 5 for a day, to move up to 8 was such a victory! My OB agreed that I did not have to have any more internal monitors and she ordered me to get more pain medication when I was ready. When my OB checked me at 12pm or 1 pm I was at 9cms. I was making slow progress but hey at least I was progressing. My OB went back to her office and I had to continue to labor. All that day my pain was intense. The epidural did provide me some relief in certain areas but did nothing for the pain and pressure in my back and butt. My husband, mom and doula continued massaging the different parts of my body throughout the day. Often times they were massaging different body parts at the same time while worship and praise music played on low in the background. The three of them were rock stars, they were my dream team! Both of our fathers were in the lobby, praying and being supportive from a distance. Most of the afternoon I was quiet and focused on my goal. My eyes remained closed and I rarely spoke. Sometimes I practiced my breathing when the pain or pressure felt too intense. Sometimes I hymned or moaned but I kept praying in my head, Lord help me, give me strength. Words can’t describe how my body felt or the state of mind I was in. All I can say was I was determined and focused and I kept my eyes on Christ. I was picturing my baby girl’s arrival.

Around 2-230pm Rolisia, one of my closest sistafriends, surprised me and came to visit. She came to pray in the hall outside my room but my father encouraged her to go into my room to see me and encourage me. I don’t believe I opened my eyes much during her visit because I was in so much discomfort but I was super glad that she was there. My parents, my husband, Rolisia and Cate and I took hands and had prayer. Rolisia prayed a POWERFUL on time prayer with such authority and boldness and my faith was completely stirred up!! I was coming down the home stretch of my journey and her bringing the presence of God into my room was just what I needed to finish my race! Now that I think about it, the only time I cried the entire time I was in the hospital was when she came to visit. Rolisia and I have been friends since we met at college in 1999 and she is the sister I never had. To have her obey the Holy Ghost and come to pray for me meant so much because I was tired and casting down fear and I needed all the support that I could get!

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The on call doctor checked me at 4:00pm and said I was at 10cms and needed to start pushing even though my OB had not arrived back to the hospital yet. Hearing the phrase, “it’s time to start pushing,” were bittersweet because I was so excited that my body and baby had worked together and I was going to get a chance to have my vaginal birth BUT I was so nervous at the same time! I handed my camera to Cate and asked her to take pictures during the birth since my husband and mother were going to hold my legs. I did a few pushes and the baby started coming down faster than they expected and my OB still wasn’t there so they asked me to try to wait for her. My OB ran through the doors, told me exactly what to do and Elaina was born 20 mins later!!

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It’s an indescribable feeling when your legs are in the air and you’re pushing with all your might and there are lots of people in the room all looking at your vagina and cheering you on. Everyone kept saying, she’s almost here keep pushing, push harder push harder. I never cried or yelled throughout my 40 mins of pushing. I remained focused and wanted to save my energy for the battle. I would push while my doula counted to ten then I would rest for a few seconds and start pushing again. It was intense to say the least but once I felt her shoulders slide out and then the rest of her body, I was in awe and felt pure joy. My OB lifted Elaina up so I could see her and we saw how big she was and my husband and I’s eyes got so big! She was almost 9lbs! They laid her on my chest so we could meet and Eddie got to cut the cord. They cleaned her up and examined her all in our room. I had to birth the placenta which was a little painful and messy but I didn’t care because I had done it, I had given birth vaginally and my baby girl was finally here and doing well. I did get two stitches as my take home prize but again I wasn’t complaining.

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Elaina wanted to nurse as soon as they gave her back to me. Everyone but my mom and Cate left the room to get us food and to call the family and share the good news so I was able to nurse my precious newborn in peace. Elaina latched on perfectly and nursed like a pro. I truly enjoyed nursing my first daughter and was excited that my nursing journey with Elaina was starting out so well.

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Our first night in the hospital with Elaina was perfect. Elaina and I were both healthy and happy and were able to go home from the hospital that next day at my request. I couldn’t wait to see Elyssa and have her meet her new baby sister. Elyssa was excited and curious about her new sister and it was cute to see her stand next to her rocker and watch her sister sleep. It felt so good to have my family back under the same roof together with our new addition sleeping soundly next to our bed. Once again God had shown himself mighty and faithful and I went to sleep with a smile of happiness and gratitude on my face!

If you are a woman who hopes to have a VBAC, I encourage you to get educated, locate a OB that supports VBACs and to build a support system. Never lose hope, no matter what it looks like. Remember that your body was created to birth babies and Lord willing, you will get the birth that you desire. While VBAC’s are important, we must remember that our health and safety as well as our babies always come first. For different health reasons, VBACs are not an option for some women and that is ok. We do not receive metals based on how our children come into the world. I’m really encouraging the women that are healthy and completely able to have VBACs to know their rights and take control of their births. The medical professionals sometimes have their own agenda so the more educated you are and support you have around you, the less likely that you will be bullied into having a repeated csection.

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Hello World I’m Back! And With Great News!

Hello world I missed you all!! I think about my blog and readers weekly but so much has been going on in my life and it was hard to make time to write. I hope I become more consistent again because but my blog means a lot to me. I have great news that I wanted to share with you lovely folks, I’m 15 weeks pregnant and ALL is well! As many of you know my husband and I experienced a miscarriage in May of this year. We stood in faith for physical and emotional healing and trusted God that in HIS PERFECT TIMING we would conceive again without any complications. My God is a restorer and so very faithful!! Nothing is impossible with God. If your going through a storm today, know that with God you can come out better than how you went in. God will restore what was lost and make all things new. Don’t give up, victory is yours in Jesus name!!

Here is a confession prayer that a friend gave me for our unborn child. It is very powerful so I wanted to share it. If you know someone who is currently pregnant, please share it with them. We must speak life over our unborn children. Hope everyone is having a great week. I promise to write again soon!!

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A Mothers Prayer For Her Unborn Child

By Iyanla Vanzant

Blessed and merciful God
Thank you for the gift of life
Thank you for the life of the child growing inside of me
Thank you for your love that is shaping and forming this childs life into your divine perfection.
Thank you for shaping this child’s mind
Thank you for shaping this child’s bones
Thank you for sharing this child’s destiny and for writing it upon his or her heart
Thank you for filling this child’s entire being with your loving light
Thank you for knowing and calling this child’s name even as it is being formed
Thank you for showing me how to love this child even before it is born
Thank you for giving me a healthy appetite for those food that are life giving
and life sustaining while this child is growing inside of me
Thank you for giving me peaceful rest while this child is growing inside of me
Thank you for peace of mind while this child is growing inside of me
Right now I give you all the concerns for the health, strength and well being
for the precious life growing inside of me
Right now I call forth your grace, mercy and the loving light of your presence
to fill my being and sustain the life growing inside of me
Prepare me for this birth. Prepare my mind. Prepare my body.
Bless me and this child that it’s birth will happen easily and effortlessly, under the grace of your peace.
I give your angels charge of this child.
I give you charge over my entire being
I give you thanksgiving and praise for this blessed life growing inside of me
May this prayer be lifted, heard and accepted by you oh God
For this I am so grateful
So be it!

20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember

I found this article last night and could relate to some of it and thought it would be helpful to share. Unless you’ve experienced the loss of a child, sometimes it can uncomfortable and challenging to know what to say or do when it comes to your loved one whose gone through it. Read this list and Id love to hear your thoughts as a survivor of loss or as a supporter to a loved one. Was it helpful? Accurate?
20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember

By Jennifer Marohn in I Am A Mother To An Angel


1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t deserve your recognition

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn’t think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven’t forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn’t think that I don’t want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn’t think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it’s not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn’t pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn’t judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn’t think if I have a good day I’m “over it” or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no “normal” way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn’t stay away from me. The truth is loosing my baby doesn’t mean I’m contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be “over and done with” in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be “over” this.

12. I wish you wouldn’t think that my baby wasn’t really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have seen my baby’s body and face. My baby was a real person.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to “”normal” you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you’ll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn’t tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren’t interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it’s not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn’t think that you’ll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn’t say that it’s natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say “next time things will be okay”. The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?

http://mommyangelbaby.blogspot.com/p/angel-baby-poems.html

Here is the link to my Christian support group for moms who’ve experience the loss of a child. Everyone is welcome to join. Hope and Healing for Mommies of Angel Babies

https://www.facebook.com/groups/312074525543437/#!/groups/312074525543437/permalink/317738488310374/

A Year Ago Today The Test Said YES!

A year ago today the test said yes!! I’ll never forget how excited we were as we walked down the isles of the store looking for the pregnancy test or the joy we felt when we discovered that it was positive!! I rolled on the floor in our living room! We thanked God and sat there grinning at each other because our desire to start a family was coming to pass!!

We went to the store and created a surprise gift for my parents. We went to their house and I told my mom to look at the gift I had gotten for my girlfriend’s baby shower. When she opened the pretty blue and yellow box inside was my 2 tests, a poem from the baby to them and a baby musical toy. My mom screamed, my dad laughed and they both congratulated us! We ate dinner together and talked about baby stuff. I will never forget that day, how excited Eddie and I were but more importantly how faithful God was. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother ever since I was a little girl. We had only been trying to conceive for a short time and God had given us the desire of our hearts!! Many ladies were telling me all types of methods to try to get pregnant and I was researching the topic weekly but my husband told me to calm down, enjoy trying and trust God and he was right!

I want to encourage people today to trust God and the plans that He has for you. He knows what you need and when you need it. He hears your prayers, He sees your effort to live right and please Him. When the time is right and He knows your ready, He will grant you your desire if they are in line with His will. (Psalms 37:4) I sit here typing this with my precious, healthy, blessed baby girl right now and I’m encouraging myself, reminding myself that if God did it on 7/30/10 He CAN AND WILL DO IT AGAIN! I have things that I’m believing God for my family right now and I know God hears me and I know He’s able and faithful! I will walk in peace and trust Him just as I learned to do last year when trying to conceive. Thank you Jesus for your love, mercy, faithfulness and goodness!!

Benefits & Myths of Breastfeeding, What Every Sista Should Know

Black women’s health.com posted a very informative article about the benefits of breastfeeding. The post also addresses some of the myths about breastfeeding.  I found the article to be very informative and I wanted to share it with my readers. It’s completely ok if a woman decides not to breastfeed her baby but I believe that she should make an informed decision before deciding not to do so. In many cases, women don’t breastfeed because of lack of knowledge and support. Please read this post and know that breastfeeding is beautiful, natural and beneficial to mommy and baby. I posted the link below so that you can read the article in full and also review their website.

Breastfeeding Has Many Benefits

Says breastfeeding mother of three sons, Karen Harris, “my children are a lot healthier than their playmates and I know that’s because of the nursing.” Breastfed babies tend to have fewer cases of Chiron’s disease, ear infections, diarrhea, meningitis, tooth decay and childhood diabetes. Studies show that breast milk is important in developing the facial structure, oral make-up and brain growth of babies. Premature infants who are breastfed tend to have a higher IQ than premature babies who are fed infant formula. In addition to the nutritional benefits of breast milk, there is an added emotional benefit as well. Eye and skin contact maintained while nursing gives babies the same sense of security felt in the womb, creating a loving transition into their new world.

Breastfeeding has important societal benefits too. Namely, breast milk is very cost-effective. One of its biggest conveniences is that it is absolutely free. Study after study has shown that if more infants were breastfed, millions of government and HMO dollars would be saved each year. Formula fed infants average $200 more a year in medical expenses than breastfed infants. If an additional one million babies a year were fed breast milk instead of formula, the U.S. could save over a billion dollars in healthcare costs. Imagine the money saved by families whose children are breastfed. Parents spend hundreds of dollars a year buying formula, money that could be put into a college or trust fund. Breastfeeding mothers have fewer cases of being absent from work due to child related illness, which saves companies money in healthcare costs as well.

Dispelling The Myths About Breastfeeding

Myth 1: Breastfeeding is too painful:

While there may be some initial pain as mother and infant get used to the process of breastfeeding, after a week or two, if mother is nursing properly, there should be little if any pain resulting from breastfeeding. Often, women experience pain because the baby is not latched on properly.

Myth 2: Breastfeeding will make the baby too dependent on its mother:

Babies who breastfeed are no more dependant on their mothers than any other baby. They do, however, enjoy the added closeness and security felt only through breastfeeding. In fact, breastfed babies tend to be independent and social.

Myth 3: Breastfeeding is unclean:

Breast milk is very sanitary and is the most perfectly balanced form of nourishment for babies. Moreover, its composition changes with the nutritional needs of infants and toddlers, something that does not occur with formula. Many pediatricians agree that as long as a child is receiving calcium from some source, cow’s milk is not an absolute necessity.

Myth 4: Breastfeeding is not possible for a woman with small breasts:

The size of a woman’s breasts have nothing to do with her ability to produce milk. Breast milk is produced by stimulation of the nipples from infant suckling, regardless of breast size.

Myth 5: Breastfeeding is too time consuming:

Women who nurse agree that breastfeeding is much more timesaving than consuming. There are no formulas to mix, nor any bottles to sanitize, clean and heat. Breast milk is always ready, the right temperature and the perfect amount the baby needs at any given moment. Mothers don’t even have to leave the bed for those nighttime feedings.

Myth 6: Breastfeeding has to stop when a woman returns to work:

Many women enjoy the continued benefits of breastfeeding after they return to work. They can purchase or rent quality breast pumps to pump their milk during the workday. Expressed breast milk can be stored in a refrigerator or cooler (and for months in a freezer) for baby while mom is working. An added benefit of continued breastfeeding upon return to the workplace is that mother and baby have a special bonding time at the beginning and especially at the end of the day.

Kathi Barber, CLEC and Jenise Fonville-Noels, CLEC

 http://www.blackwomenshealth.com/2006/articles.php?id=1