A Mother’s Fear of Raising A Brown Boy in America

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My husband and I have the privilege and burden of raising a beautiful brown boy in today’s society. Our son is only four months old but I already cast down anxiety at the thought of raising him in a world that fears and hates him because of the color of his skin.

How do you tell your kind, intelligent and loving brown boy that some will fear him just because his skin is a different color than theirs. How do I tell him that no matter what he wears or how intelligent he speaks, some will pre judge him and see him as a threat.

How do we raise our brown boy to be cautious and aware but not afraid, angry or bitter? How do we teach him to love those who don’t value his life and are just looking for a reason to take it?
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How do we resist the urge to shelter him completely in a attempt to keep him safe? How do we ignore the fear that will try to creep up when he leaves to walk to the corner store or a local park to meet his friends? How do we build him up in a society that only wants to break him down?

While these are tough questions, in Jesus we must find our hope and peace. As believers, we are to pray over our children daily. We need to plead the blood of Jesus over them. We teach them that the word of God is true. We need to teach them how to be men of God. We teach them how to carry themselves in public and how to interact with those in authority in hopes that their lives can be spared. We educate them and teach them about God’s love, mercy, protection and forgiveness.

We teach them to be leaders and not followers. We provide them with peaceful, godly, respectful homes so that they won’t grow up to be angry, rude and worldly. We teach them that violence isn’t the answer. We tell them that not all cops are bad and that they are to respect authority.

Lord bless our brown boys. Lord comfort the Brown family. Lord bring peace and restoration to Ferguson.

My 2nd VBAC Birth Story

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This time last year my husband and I discovered that I was pregnant with our third child. Our youngest was only four months old so imagine the multiple emotions that all hit me at once like a mack truck when the test said POSITIVE!! YIKES!! My hubby started grinning and gave me a reassuring pep talk about how everything was going to be ok and he was right! My pregnancy was smooth sailing. My growing girl Elaina continued to nurse like a champ despite people continuing to say that she would refuse my milk since I was pregnant.

Now let me fast forward to the good part, the delivery ­čÖé I got induced just like I had with my other two birthes, I guess my body just doesn’t like going into labor on it’s own. My doula was in a accelerated graduate program and temporarily unable to take clients. My mom, who had also one of my labor coaches, staid home to care for our girls who were three and one at the time. It was just my husband and I in the hospital, patiently waiting our son’s arrival.

My first daughter Elyssa, was born via emergency csection due to her being in distress because the cord was wrapped around her neck. My second daughter Elaina was my first vaginal birth after a csection (VBAC) and I was planning for my second VBAC with my son. I signed the VBAC consent form and began my journey. My OB is awesome and very supportive so I wasn’t concerned about being pressured into having a unnecessary csection.

Things were peaceful in the hospital. My husband and I walked the halls some but we mostly watched movies and rested while we waited for the strong contractions to come. Thankfully I did not have back labor like I did with Elaina. Back labor was so uncomfortable and the epidural provided no relief for my back. My doc let me take a break from the induction meds so we could eat dinner and we really appreciated that. Nothing worst then being hungry and not being in active labor. It feels like things are moving so slow with no end in sight.

The next morning my OB broke my water and oh boy is that the craziest feeling. Your in bed with hot fluid continually gushing out of you. The contractions started and I got my epidural but then had a bad reaction to it and needed some quick simple medical intervention to stabilize my blood pressure. At around 3:45pm the contractions got really strong and I started dialating quickly. My husband teases me saying he knows it’s almost time to push when I start humming and singing during my contractions. I make a low sound while trying to breathe, focus and stay in control during the pain and pressure. Hey at least I don’t yell and curse during them right! I can’t believe that I’ve  actually never cried during labor. It’s like I have my war clothes on and I can’t afford to lose it.

My dad was home so he staid with the girls and my mom rushed up to the hospital right before it was time to push. My birth photographer made it on time as well and it was time to get the show on the road!! I was about to get my second VBAC and I was overjoyed!!

I delivered our son in six intense minutes!! There was a time when I thought I may not get to experience vaginal birth but I prayed, had determination and a awesome doctor and support system and God granted my request!! It was a awesome feeling to have everyone encouraging me and cheering me on as I brought my son, Eddie IV, into the world. We were all blown away when we disovered that he weighed 10.3lbs!!! My big healthy boy!! Thank you Jesus!!

I had a scary moment of unexpected blood clot issues but the doctors moved fast and quickly got me stable. I’m so glad my husband and mom were there with me during that ordeal. Everything with my son and I checked out great and I insisted on going home 24hrs later. I’m still so grateful to God for my granting me with another beautiful baby and the birth of my choice. Birth without fear!!

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As you can imagine I’ve been very busy being a stay at home mom of three children under four. I will be writing about my motherhood journey alot!! I love being a wife and mom!! My husband Eddie is a awesome husband and hands on dad, we make a great team!! In between jungling the kids, housework, time with hubby, time for myself, my family, friends, church and photography business, I want to write in my blog more. I love writing and thank you to those who read and share my post!!!

A Little Scandal Never Hurt Nobody

Shonda Rhimes is the brilliant writer and creator of several hit TV shows including Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder. I first became familiar with her work back in the day when I used to be big fans of Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy. Those shows, I will admit, had their share of typical TV love scenes and drama but Shonda’s new shows have taken TV to a new level of raciness.

Shonda is an amazing writer and she has awesome casts so of course her shows are major hits. I love Kerry Washington, the star of Scandal. I think she’s smart, pretty, bubbly and talented. What blows my mind is that behind all the interesting suspenseful storylines and super cool cast members, are plots full of pornographic scenes glorifying infidelity, fornication and homosexuality, and yet it seems like everyone, saints included, are obsessed with these shows.

I was once a Scandal fan. I watched the first season and I was all in. I enjoyed watching Olivia Pope be the stylish fixer. I tried to ignore the infidelity aspect, though that was the heart beat of the show. Finally after continually having to fast forward through gay and straight sex scenes just to get through episodes, my spiritual convictions caused me to stop watching it all together.

How To Get Away With Murder is her latest show and the amount of graphic sex scenes and infidelity┬á just blows my mind. Again the plot, writing and acting had me pulled in but I had to continually look away because my saved grown married eyes could not handle the pornography that was being shown. It wasn’t long before I dropped that show too. Another one bites the dust!

I understand that most prime time TV shows have mild sex scenes and have gay characters and I need to figure out what’s benefitual for me to watch and what isn’t. What I’ve been doing lately is searching for wholesome entertainment and cutting the TV off more to read books and write. What I will not allow writers like Shonda Rhimes to do is desensitize me into thinking that infidelity is sexy, fornication is harmless fun and homosexuality is an acceptable way of life because my bible and beliefs tell me otherwise. I will no longer support TV shows that don’t support my beliefs and lifestyle.

I’d be devastated if my life was full of scandals and I found out my husband had cheated on me. I don’t want that life so why would I enjoy watching someone else have it? Infidelity isn’t entertaining, sexy or justifiable. Why do married couples enjoy watching this show together? And as followers of the gospel, aren’t we called to be holy and set apart? Watching this stuff isn’t helping us to be holy or set apart, if anything it’s giving us a blue print of how to mess up ourlives and get out of the will of God.

In a nut shell what I’m saying is, as Christians we must guard our eyes, ears and heart. We can’t let sin become entertaining and acceptable just because Hollywood wraps it up in a bright shiny box. We’re each accountable to God for our own actions so I challenge you to seek God regarding your entertainment (TV, movies and music) ask Him to show you what you should and shouldn’t be consuming. If you decide that you need to let go of somethings, be brave enough to be set apart despite what’s trending on FB or Twitter. We must fashion ourselves after the Word NOT the world.