The new man can’t afford to pay the debt of the one who came up short, nor should he. If he does, then he’ll come up short. Release the ex of that debt, forgive him and wish him well for real. Start fresh with this new man, as if your heart had never been broken. That’s what grown women do. Bitterness doesn’t look good on nobody~ Kim Blakes, my FB friend.
My response to her status: Amen! We need to give our hurt, pain and issues from past broken relationships to God and allow HIM to heal us. We can’t truly be what a new love needs us to be if we aren’t complete and whole in Christ. Trust me, I’ve been there. Thank God for His mercy, grace, restoration and love.
There are 2 points that I’d like to zero in on regarding this topic.
1. Forgiveness is key when trying to get over a past relationship that went bad. It’s impossible to harbor anger and bitterness when you have truly forgiven someone and given your hurt over to God. I used to hate my 2 ex’s with a passion. When I rededicated my life to Christ, I knew I had to lay my pain, anger and unforgiveness on the altar if my sins were to be forgiven, if I desired to be whole, at peace and if I wanted to be a happy woman and wife one day. Forgiveness seems unfair because you were the one who was wronged but forgiveness is for you so that you can be free and delivered from the bondage of the past. When I learned to forgive those three gentlemen my attitude and life changed for the better. Shortly after that I met my husband and we began a beautiful friendship that eventually lead to love.
2. It’s very important to not jump into a new relationship before you allow yourself to get healing and closure from your past relationship. When a relationship ends negatively, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your heart. Sometimes you may find yourself depressed, confused and defeated. You need to go into a quiet room and tell the Lord what happened, how you feel and what you need from Him. The bible tells us to cast our burdens unto Jesus for He cares for us. God already knows what’s going on but He wants you to come to Him willingly with an open heart so that He can heal, love and comfort you. There is no love like the love of our Heavenly Father and there’s no hurt that He can’t heal. The bible says that He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.
When you take the mess from your past relationship into your new one, your asking for your new relationship to fail. It’s not fair to the new man whose intentions towards you maybe pure but you treat him as if you know he’s going to dog you out and leave you hanging like the last joker. Seek godly counsel and get yourself together before jumping into a premature relationship that could end just as badly as the last.
Bonus tip: When we allow ourselves to jump from one bad relationship to the next, we make it harder for Mr. Right when he comes along. 1. Because we’re so distrusting that we can’t see him for who he really is 2. We’re too busy being angry about the last joker that we LET dog us out that we can’t see the good man standing right in front of our face. 3. We’ve ALLOWED ourselves to deal with so many bad guys that we lose hope that good guys even exist. There are good men out there but you have to ask yourself, are you ready to properly love one? Do yourself a favor, get restored from the past, embrace your time of singleness and learn to love yourself. If you don’t love you, you can’t possibly love someone else.