Stop Having Yo New Man Pay For The Sins of Yo Past Man

The new man can’t afford to pay the debt of the one who came up short, nor should he. If he does, then he’ll come up short. Release the ex of that debt, forgive him and wish him well for real. Start fresh with this new man, as if your heart had never been broken. That’s what grown women do. Bitterness doesn’t look good on nobody~ Kim Blakes, my FB friend.

My response to her status: Amen! We need to give our hurt, pain and issues from past broken relationships to God and allow HIM to heal us. We can’t truly be what a new love needs us to be if we aren’t complete and whole in Christ. Trust me, I’ve been there. Thank God for His mercy, grace, restoration and love.

There are 2 points that I’d like to zero in on regarding this topic.

1. Forgiveness is key when trying to get over a past relationship that went bad. It’s impossible to harbor anger and bitterness when you have truly forgiven someone and given your hurt over to God. I used to hate my 2 ex’s with a passion. When I rededicated my life to Christ, I knew I had to lay my pain, anger and unforgiveness on the altar if my sins were to be forgiven, if I desired to be whole, at peace and if I wanted to be a happy woman and wife one day. Forgiveness seems unfair because you were the one who was wronged but forgiveness is for you so that you can be free and delivered from the bondage of the past. When I learned to forgive those three gentlemen my attitude and life changed for the better. Shortly after that I met my husband and we began a beautiful friendship that eventually lead to love.

2. It’s very important to not jump into a new relationship before you allow yourself to get healing and closure from your past relationship. When a relationship ends negatively, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your heart. Sometimes you may find yourself depressed, confused and defeated. You need to go into a quiet room and tell the Lord what happened, how you feel and what you need from Him. The bible tells us to cast our burdens unto Jesus for He cares for us. God already knows what’s going on but He wants you to come to Him willingly with an open heart so that He can heal, love and comfort you. There is no love like the love of our Heavenly Father and there’s no hurt that He can’t heal. The bible says that He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

When you take the mess from your past relationship into your new one, your asking for your new relationship to fail. It’s not fair to the new man whose intentions towards you maybe pure but you treat him as if you know he’s going to dog you out and leave you hanging like the last joker. Seek godly counsel and get yourself together before jumping into a premature relationship that could end just as badly as the last.

Bonus tip: When we allow ourselves to jump from one bad relationship to the next, we make it harder for Mr. Right when he comes along. 1. Because we’re so distrusting that we can’t see him for who he really is 2. We’re too busy being angry about the last joker that we LET dog us out that we can’t see the good man standing right in front of our face. 3. We’ve ALLOWED ourselves to deal with so many bad guys that we lose hope that good guys even exist. There are good men out there but you have to ask yourself, are you ready to properly love one? Do yourself a favor, get restored from the past, embrace your time of singleness and learn to love yourself. If you don’t love you, you can’t possibly love someone else.

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3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

This post is dedicated to the many beautiful, saved, successful, smart, kind, driven and uncompromising women in the world. Many of my closest female friends are single this holiday season and I wanted to write a post of encouragement and humor that would carry them through this season.

While many single women desire to be married at some point, they are learning to dedicate their time, money, talent and bodies to Christ during the waiting season. For me, on an average day, being single wasn’t that challenging  BUT I did have days, especially around special holidays (Valentines Day, my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas) were I wished I had a good man to love and celebrate with. The longing for someone to love and be loved by is natural and normal but we must always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Marriage is lots of fun but it’s also challenging work. Often times people don’t think about all the serving, sacrificing, patience and comprise that comes with the territory and therefore so many couples get divorced. One of the purposes of my blog is to inform single women of the wonderful and not so wonderful aspects of marriage so that they have a realistic expectation before saying I Do! Checkout the list below about why being single on Christmas isn’t a bad thing.

3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

1. When your single, you don’t have to agree with anyone but the Holy Spirit about how to spend your money for Christmas or how many gifts to purchase. Throughout the year you save your money and when Christmas time comes you can tithe, pay your bills and make a list as long or short as you’d like of who you bless for Christmas. It’s your money and your prerogative.

2. When your single you don’t have the responsiblity of visiting  your family and the in-laws and doing the house jumping balancing act. If you want to stay home you can, if you want to go from house to house you can. As a single woman the holidays are what you make it. Surround yourself with loved ones (family and friends) and thank God for what you do have instead of thinking about what you don’t have.

3.When your single, instead of needing to go out and find the perfect Christmas morning lingerie, you can pick out whatever cute and comfortable PJs that you like because you only have to please you. It’s wonderful to have a husband to dress up for but sometimes it’s nice to put on whatever makes you comfy, grab a book or a girlie movie and spend some quality time by yourself.

Basically ladies what I’m saying is being married has a lot of perks (companionship, love, sex and children to be raised by two parents in a loving home) but singleness definitely does too (independence of time, money, jobs and travel. You can go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to) We must all remember that it’s a blessing to be breathing this Christmas. To have some money to bless a few people with gifts, to have family and friends to celebrate Christ’s birth with and enjoy good food. Married or single, let’s find reasons to be grateful and content this Christmas. Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

Sad Soulful Love Songs, Why They Do More Harm Then Good

Back in college, when I was upset over one of my silly, unproductive and drama filled relationships, I would pop in one of my “I hate men,” CDs and wallow in a pity party. Somehow I thought that  sitting in the dark, listening to Tony Braxton’s The Heat CD (He Wasn’t Man Enough, Just Be A Man About It, I’m Still Breathing or You’ve Been Wrong) was going to somehow heal my hurt, help me to express my pain and give me the strength to go on another day. NOT!!!

There was a time when I did not own more than 3 gospel CD’s though I’ve always called myself a Christian. The majority of my CD collection was secular rap and R & B. I listened to Trina, Lil Kim, Kelis (I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW) and Pink’s first album, along with CD’s that taught me to be angry, bitter, revengeful and distrusting of men. No wonder I was a complete hot mess back then.

When I rededicate my life to Christ in Feb of 2002, I started to change what I read, watched and listened to because I began to understand how negative media was hurting me instead of helping me. As I began to read my bible, attend church more and hang out with other Christians, I discovered how peaceful, productive and fun life really could be without all the drama and negativity. As I stopped dating raggedy guys who only wanted to use me, chew me up and spit me out, my life got better. There was no need to listen to angry songs because I was no longer angry.

I realized that it was my fault for deciding to get in relationships with guys who were not saved and who let me know up front that they were up to no good. Why was I surprised that when I messed with dogs I got bit every time? Instead of continuing in the cycle of unhealthy relationships and mild depression when they didn’t work out, I decided to read books like “I Kiss Dating Goodbye,” by Joshua Harris, God’s Plan For the Single Saint by Pastor Andre Butler, Glass Rose by Pastor MiChelle Butler and Knight In Shining Armor by P.B Wilson. (There are a host of books out their for Christian singles, fiction and non fiction) I dedicated my time to building my relationship with Christ and getting to know myself. Ladies you don’t always have to be connected to a man. You can stand on your own as a single, successful, happy and confident woman. Relationships do not define who you are. It’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and sad.

So the next time you find yourself pissed about your current relationship or the lack their of, instead of listening to “Just Another Sad Love Song” by Toni Braxton, take some time to pray, evaluate if the relationship is worth the drama and seek out godly advice from a woman who you trust. Life is precious. Don’t waste time on people or things that make you unhappy. Make the decision to live a peaceful, happy, drama free life. I encourage you to throw out the CD’s, books or movies that support the “angry bitter lonely woman syndrome” and surround yourself with uplifting, hopeful and holy media. I promise you, you will see a difference in your mood, attitude and life! I am a living breathing testimony of this!

Once I walked away from drama and focused on Christ and accomplishing my goals, I met my husband. He was nothing like the men that I had dated previously THANK GOD. He too wanted to be holy, have a drama free relationship and glorify God in his relationships. He is my blessing and I am his! Thank you God for my good man!!

Stirring Up My Mustard Seed Faith

This morning as I sat at my desk thinking about a few things that haven’t been going right lately, a scripture came to my mind that really blessed me. Matthew 17:20 NIV He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” My mustard seed faith CAN and WILL move mountains!!

Often times we see our problems as gynormous but our God is BIGGER, BADDER, FAITHFUL and ABLE to do everything that we need Him to do. Eph 3:20 KJV Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. I want to stir up  my faith and yours this morning. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, God loves you, He is waiting with open arms to bless you and take care of you. Money, jobs, health relationships, sickness/diseases, unsaved family members, houses, cars, spouses, children, businesses, money to go back to school WHATEVER your need is today, stir up your mustard seed faith. You can’t do it on your own. Matt 19:26 NIV Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

We are God’s children and He knows our needs and He knows what’s best for us. He hears our prayers and He sees us trying our best to walk out His word. He sees us giving to the church and others in need. God is working all things out for our God. Romans 8:28 KJV And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Be encouraged today. Let’s mediate on the word of God and not our circumstances. When we start thinking about all the things that are going wrong, let’s start praising God for everything that is going right!! God is good and He is working things out for each of us!!! Phil 4:8 NIV Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

11 Safety Tips For The Serious Holiday Shopper

There’s 23 days until Christmas! While we all know that Christmas is really about celebrating Christ birth, it’s still nice to give gifts to our loved ones. Many of us will spend the next 23 days shopping and preparing for the holiday season. It’s important to be alert and safe while shopping. Here are some safety tips from

http://www.ou.edu/oupd/holtips.htm Sadly during the holiday season, any people are looking for ways to rob and scan others. This has always been the case but now that the economy is struggling, many people are having a hard time providing for their families and their desperate. I don’t want to cause people to walk in fear but please be aware and safe. Review this tips, pray God’s protection over you and your loved ones and be wise while out and about! Happy shopping and remember it’s better to give then to receive!

11 Shopping safety tips

1. Travel and conduct your business during daylight hours if possible.

2. When driving, keep doors locked and windows rolled up at all times. Maintain at least half a tank of fuel, and keep vehicle in good repair.

3. Keep a first aid kit in the car and know how to access your spare tire and jack.

4. Devote your full time and attention to driving!

5. Plan your shopping/errands so that you don’t load your trunk until you are ready to drive to another destination. Load your trunk when you leave a location – never open a trunk, fill it full of valuables, close it, and then just walk away to do more shopping or other errands.

6. When returning to your vehicle, carry your keys in your hand and be ready to unlock the door and enter as quickly as possible. As you approach your vehicle, scan the area, glance underneath the vehicle, and take a quick look inside before entering.

7. While out and about, present an alert appearance. Be aware of your surroundings; scan the area from time to time. Avoid concentrating so hard on shopping that you fail to keep track of your surroundings, others near you, or your personal property.

8. If possible, leave your children with a baby-sitter while you are shopping. If you take your children with you, keep a close eye on them while shopping. Teach the children to go to a store clerk or security guard if they ever get separated from you in a store/mall, and be sure they know their first and last name so they can tell someone who they are.

9. Using debit or credit cards is much safer than carrying a lot of cash. Only keep enough cash on your for one day at a time. You don’t need hundreds of dollars in your wallet or purse.

10. If anyone is loitering, or you don’t like their looks, leave the ATM  Angle yourself in a way that those behind you cannot see your PIN as you enter it; your PIN should NEVER be written down on or carried with your ATM card.

11. Be prepared to flee potential problems. If apprehensive about any location for any reason, leave. Consider carrying a whistle. Weapons are not recommended, and may be unlawful. Try not to carry a purse when you have a full day of shopping or wear it in a way that it is secure on your person.