20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember

I found this article last night and could relate to some of it and thought it would be helpful to share. Unless you’ve experienced the loss of a child, sometimes it can uncomfortable and challenging to know what to say or do when it comes to your loved one whose gone through it. Read this list and Id love to hear your thoughts as a survivor of loss or as a supporter to a loved one. Was it helpful? Accurate?
20 Things Parents of Angels Wish You Would Remember

By Jennifer Marohn in I Am A Mother To An Angel


1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t deserve your recognition

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn’t think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven’t forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn’t think that I don’t want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn’t think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it’s not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn’t pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn’t judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn’t think if I have a good day I’m “over it” or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no “normal” way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn’t stay away from me. The truth is loosing my baby doesn’t mean I’m contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be “over and done with” in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be “over” this.

12. I wish you wouldn’t think that my baby wasn’t really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have seen my baby’s body and face. My baby was a real person.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to “”normal” you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you’ll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn’t tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren’t interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it’s not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn’t think that you’ll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn’t say that it’s natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say “next time things will be okay”. The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?

http://mommyangelbaby.blogspot.com/p/angel-baby-poems.html

Here is the link to my Christian support group for moms who’ve experience the loss of a child. Everyone is welcome to join. Hope and Healing for Mommies of Angel Babies

https://www.facebook.com/groups/312074525543437/#!/groups/312074525543437/permalink/317738488310374/
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My Testimony of Tragedy & Why My Faith is Stronger Than Ever Before

Psalm 18:1-3 AMP  I love You fervently and devotedly, O Lord, my Strength.The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer; my God, my keen and firm Strength in Whom I will trust and take refuge, my Shield, and the Horn of my salvation, my High Tower.I will call upon the Lord, Who is to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies.

Four weeks ago I experienced an early pregnancy miscarriage. Words could never express how I felt upon leaving the doctor’s office after being told there was no more life inside of me. For the first few hours of that day I was a wreck BUT GOD. I made a decision to cling to my God, to trust Him and to seek His complete comfort and peace. My husband had been praying with and for me, laying hands on me and encouraging me. Even my one year old precious daughter saw tears in my eyes and she rubbed my arm to make me smile. I knew that I couldn’t let my loss consume me. I needed to activate the faith that I’d always spoke of. Was God no longer good? Was this situation too big for Him? I knew that the answer to those questions without a shadow of a doubt was NO! Like my husband told me, we will be fine, God is with us, we will have more children; but if God never did anything else for us, He’s already done so many amazing things and he was right.  In the good and bad times, God is STILL good and He didn’t kill my baby. My Savior is my everything and when I feel down or anxious, He and only He can bring me peace, strength and joy.

I was super blessed to be surrounded by family and close friends during the two weeks that I took off work. I was able to rest, pray, listen to praise and worship and dance and cry before the Lord. Everyday I felt stronger and more determine to make the devil pay for messing with my family. I know that the loss of our baby was the devils attempt to distract us and knock us off course BUT it has done the complete opposite. My marriage is tight and I feel stronger spiritually than I’ve felt in a long time because I’m clinging even more to the Lord. The devil will not win, God will get the glory from this. My mess is now my message!!

Genesis 50:20 NIV

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

I’m also super excited about the Christian support group that I felt lead of the Holy Ghost to start on Facebook called Hope and Healing For Mommies of Angel Babies. The group has been up and running for one week now and already has many members. It’s a closed group so women have to request to be added and I or the other admins will approve the request. I made the group closed so that the women who share can feel safe knowing that the post are confidential and can only be viewed by the group. In the group we post scriptures, praise reports, prayer request and questions to explore our feelings about the things that we’ve been through. It’s an uplifting group so if you know a woman who has experienced loss and needs encouragement or support please share the link with her or tell her to search for Hope and Healing For Mommies of Angel Babies on the FB search engine. All are welcome!

 https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/312074525543437/

Here are two scriptures that have been a blessing to me during this season. I know the Lord has awesome plans for me and my family as well as my future family. I trust the Lord with all my heart and I know that He will never fail me. My joy and my strength are renewed, thank you Lord for restoration.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans(A) I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper(B) you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.(C)

Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP) Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

A Prayer For Women Who’ve Lost A Child

Lord thank you for comfort and peace for those who have lost a child. Thank you for being their strength when they question if they can still go on. Thank you Lord for giving them peace that passes all understanding as well as joy and comfort during the rough days. Lord I ask that you send believers their way to speak of your love and to help them in any way that they need. Lord you know their pain, you hear their thoughts, I ask you right now to settle their minds and calm their spirits. Help them Lord Jesus to stop asking questions and just rest in you. Lord God restore them and make them whole again. Have your way in every area of their lives. Salvation for those who don’t know you and renewed strength for those that do. Thank you Lord for the miracles that you are about to perform in their lives. Healing in their minds, bodies, emotions, finances and relationships in Jesus name amen.