A Little Scandal Never Hurt Nobody

Shonda Rhimes is the brilliant writer and creator of several hit TV shows including Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder. I first became familiar with her work back in the day when I used to be big fans of Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy. Those shows, I will admit, had their share of typical TV love scenes and drama but Shonda’s new shows have taken TV to a new level of raciness.

Shonda is an amazing writer and she has awesome casts so of course her shows are major hits. I love Kerry Washington, the star of Scandal. I think she’s smart, pretty, bubbly and talented. What blows my mind is that behind all the interesting suspenseful storylines and super cool cast members, are plots full of pornographic scenes glorifying infidelity, fornication and homosexuality, and yet it seems like everyone, saints included, are obsessed with these shows.

I was once a Scandal fan. I watched the first season and I was all in. I enjoyed watching Olivia Pope be the stylish fixer. I tried to ignore the infidelity aspect, though that was the heart beat of the show. Finally after continually having to fast forward through gay and straight sex scenes just to get through episodes, my spiritual convictions caused me to stop watching it all together.

How To Get Away With Murder is her latest show and the amount of graphic sex scenes and infidelity  just blows my mind. Again the plot, writing and acting had me pulled in but I had to continually look away because my saved grown married eyes could not handle the pornography that was being shown. It wasn’t long before I dropped that show too. Another one bites the dust!

I understand that most prime time TV shows have mild sex scenes and have gay characters and I need to figure out what’s benefitual for me to watch and what isn’t. What I’ve been doing lately is searching for wholesome entertainment and cutting the TV off more to read books and write. What I will not allow writers like Shonda Rhimes to do is desensitize me into thinking that infidelity is sexy, fornication is harmless fun and homosexuality is an acceptable way of life because my bible and beliefs tell me otherwise. I will no longer support TV shows that don’t support my beliefs and lifestyle.

I’d be devastated if my life was full of scandals and I found out my husband had cheated on me. I don’t want that life so why would I enjoy watching someone else have it? Infidelity isn’t entertaining, sexy or justifiable. Why do married couples enjoy watching this show together? And as followers of the gospel, aren’t we called to be holy and set apart? Watching this stuff isn’t helping us to be holy or set apart, if anything it’s giving us a blue print of how to mess up ourlives and get out of the will of God.

In a nut shell what I’m saying is, as Christians we must guard our eyes, ears and heart. We can’t let sin become entertaining and acceptable just because Hollywood wraps it up in a bright shiny box. We’re each accountable to God for our own actions so I challenge you to seek God regarding your entertainment (TV, movies and music) ask Him to show you what you should and shouldn’t be consuming. If you decide that you need to let go of somethings, be brave enough to be set apart despite what’s trending on FB or Twitter. We must fashion ourselves after the Word NOT the world.

Learning When To Shut Up And When To Speak

This week on Facebook I noticed a few women post the same status entitled: I AM A HANDFUL. While the status maybe harmless words to some, I thought the confession of being a handful and out of control at times was a sad and irresponsible confession to make. I am  what the Word of God says that I am. Not what the world says I am, or what my flesh wants to say, do or be. Read the status and then we will discuss it further.

I AM A HANDFUL- Unfortunately most women WON’T post this but I’m strong willed, independent, a bit outspoken and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes and I’m sometimes out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve to handle me at my best. If you’re a HANDFUL repost! I dare you…

Sometimes as women, we feel we have the “right” to say and do what we want. If we feel like going off on someone we will, if we feel like tearing down our husband, friends or coworkers at any given moment, we will, not stopping to think about the consequences. Women know how they want to be treated but often they don’t give others the same respect. We don’t want people gossiping about us and spreading rumors but we do it to others. We don’t want others to go off on us because they feel like letting their tongue get out of control, but we think it’s ok to self proclaim that we are verbally out of control??

The bible talks a lot about the power of the tongue and how we are to guard our words. Dr. Dale A. Robbins wrote an article entitled “Is Your Tongue Out of Control.” I found the article to be helpful and reminding me what the word of God says about  the tongue and why I need to keep it under control. http://www.victorious.org/tongue.htm

It has been said that the “tongue” is one of the most exercised muscles of our body. It has been estimated that in a typical week, the average person will speak enough words to fill a 500 page book! However, for the Christian, the use of the tongue must be a matter of careful forethought and discipline. The Bible warns that believers who do not bring restraint to their tongue and speech have been deceived — and without such control over their words, their religious acts are worthless and hypocritical. “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (James 1:26). It is a deception for any of us to think that Jesus can be Lord over our life, without also becoming Lord over our tongue.

Elsewhere, James gave a warning of the evil poison of the tongue. He described some who try to use their tongue as praise and blessing to God, then turn around to use their tongue to speak evil of one another. “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it rue curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:9-10). We cannot use our tongue to curse and bad-mouth our brethren, then continue “business as usual” with our relationship with God. The Bible says that such tongue behavior is characteristic of hypocrites. “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor… “(Prov. 11:9).

 “I will guard my ways, Lest I sin with my tongue; I will restrain my mouth with a muzzle, While the wicked are before me” (Psalms 39:1).

“What right do you have to use your mouth to declare my word and promises? You have used your mouth for evil and deceitfulness, to bad-mouth and slander your brethren” (Psa. 50:16-22).

The Bible teaches that they who desire to dwell in the presence of God, to experience His blessings, are those who will live righteously and who will not backbite or badmouth their neighbor. “LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle a Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend” (Psa. 15:1-3). Furthermore, God promises a long, blessed life to those who keep their tongue from evil. “Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit” (Psa. 34:12-13).

Obscenities, profanity, cursing, dirty jokes, or making fun of others is not something that should ever be found in the mouth of a believer. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:4 NIV).

If you realize that your tongue is out of control, seek His forgiveness and allow Him to change the attitude of your heart and your mouth, so they will be pleasing to Him. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, 0 LORD, my strength and my Redeemer” (Psa. 19:14). 

Stirring Up My Mustard Seed Faith

This morning as I sat at my desk thinking about a few things that haven’t been going right lately, a scripture came to my mind that really blessed me. Matthew 17:20 NIV He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” My mustard seed faith CAN and WILL move mountains!!

Often times we see our problems as gynormous but our God is BIGGER, BADDER, FAITHFUL and ABLE to do everything that we need Him to do. Eph 3:20 KJV Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. I want to stir up  my faith and yours this morning. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, God loves you, He is waiting with open arms to bless you and take care of you. Money, jobs, health relationships, sickness/diseases, unsaved family members, houses, cars, spouses, children, businesses, money to go back to school WHATEVER your need is today, stir up your mustard seed faith. You can’t do it on your own. Matt 19:26 NIV Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

We are God’s children and He knows our needs and He knows what’s best for us. He hears our prayers and He sees us trying our best to walk out His word. He sees us giving to the church and others in need. God is working all things out for our God. Romans 8:28 KJV And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Be encouraged today. Let’s mediate on the word of God and not our circumstances. When we start thinking about all the things that are going wrong, let’s start praising God for everything that is going right!! God is good and He is working things out for each of us!!! Phil 4:8 NIV Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

4 Reasons Why GLEE Is No Longer For Me

After I watched this week’s episode of Glee, I decided that this week was the final straw. I have been feeling uneasy about the show since the new season started and this week’s scenes helped me to remove the show from my DVR rotation. Glee used to be a fun young adult show about children in high school, enjoying the arts and going through teenage challenges. A few episodes into the new season, I decided to no longer support the show because:

1. Their pushing the homosexual agenda tough and I just don’t agree with that lifestyle at all. I don’t believe that people are born gay, I believe they were created in Christ’s imagine like the bible says. I don’t hate people who are gay, I just don’t support that lifestyle nor do I think showing gay or straight make out scenes repeatedly on a young adult show is appropriate. I would never let my children watch a show like GLEE. Which leads me to my second point.

2. The gay and straight make out scenes on GLEE have gotten completely out of hand!! Two female cheerleaders on top of each other in bed making out!? WTH!!  They constantly have episodes about the gay character Kurt and how everyone in the school hates him besides the GLEE kids. Just because someone does not agree with the gay lifestyle does not make them homophobic and it does not mean that they will participate in hate crimes against gays. I don’t love or hate Kurt’s character, I just don’t support his lifestyle. This week a male football player kissed Kurt on the mouth and is afraid to come out of the closet. The majority of the show was about homosexuality and how hard it is to be an out of the closet gay teen. I know these issues sadly are what a lot of our teens are going through and therefore they talk about it on this show BUT I don’t have to subject myself to the gay agenda, nor the young people around me.

3. GLEE is no longer a clean fun show for teens and families. I feel like they often show the teens in bed heavy petting and dry humping each other. The young man Marty in the wheel chair gave his virginity away to the “school slut,” and later felt major regret; that scene really disappointed me too. The fact that he showed regret was fine BUT WHY did that have to be written into the script in the first place? This isn’t 90210! The teens don’t have to sleep around with one another for the show to get ratings do they? In a day in age where teenage pregnancy, STDs and AIDS are ramped, WHY do we need to promote sexuality and promiscuity on young adult shows?

I know that sex sales but man has it gone to a whole other level. Sex isn’t everything and sex outside of marriage is hurtful, disappointing, lonely, confusing, drama filled and DANGEROUS. Sex outside of marriage is NOT glamorous and steamy, esp for teenagers, like the media tries to trick them into believing. There’s nothing glamorous about a dude taking your virginity, getting you pregnant and leaving you high and drive! I’m just saying this happens everyday.

4. The suggestive songs and dance routines continue to get more and more adult. The show takes place in a high school but it feels more like a college show. I know friends who no longer feel comfortable with their younger siblings (12-15) watching the show due to the heavy sexualized scenes and dance routines. I’m not saying the show has to be boring, or promote holiness, God forbid right? (yes I’m being sarcastic) I’m just saying there’s many types of music to sing and creative routines to do without having to constantly grind on each other and rub your bodies. It’s not cute GLEE!!!!

I erased the series recording of this show and a few others off my DVR last night. I’m learning to have boldness and obedience and no longer support things that grieve my spirit and that I know blatantly go against the word of God. If there is a gay character that’s appropriate on a show, that’s ok but when the shows push the gay agenda, repeatedly show gay and straight sex scenes and things get more wild by the episode, those shows will no longer have my support.

Christian Brothas, Where Are You? Hola If U Hear Me

The majority of churches, Christian events and single bible studies all over the world are packed with women. I firmly believe that there are fine saved men in the world, who love God, are living holy and handling their business, the question is WHERE ARE THEY?http://churchformen.com/allmen.php Lists the following facts about men and church: 

• The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories.

• On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.
• Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants.

• The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male).

• More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.

My husband and met at our church 7 years ago. Our church is very large and therefore it has a large single population. If our group was 30 deep on a particular night, only 10 of the 30 would be males. As a single woman, it was frustrating to always go to Christian parties, concerts, bible studies and always have the girls out number the guys AND have it continue to be the same handful of guys that consistently hung out. My husband was bold enough to develop a friendship with me and pray about pursuing me in God’s timing. When he felt the time was right, he asked me out stating “I want to pursue marriage with you.” We had a courtship, engagement and then marriage. The thing is, many Christian guys drag their feet when it comes to dating and marriage. They don’t ask girls out and many of them appear to be comfortable being single, but that’s another blog for another day.

Now that we’ve been married for over 2 years, the same problem still remains for my single girlfriends who are living for God, successful in their careers and haven’t been chosen yet. Even though more women go to church then men, I know there are Christian men in my city who do not come to Christian events or even seek out friendships from other males or females at their church. Why is this? Where are the men at? Why don’t they get involved at their church or reach out to others for Christian fellowship? My group of male and female friends do all kinds of fun stuff together, bowling, house parties, concerts, movies, dinner, ballroom/hustle parties etc. We have good clean fun and if other men are living for God, they should be desiring and seeking out the same thing. It’s important for believers to fellowship with other believers and do life together. I’m not saying that Christians should cut themselves off from the world and look down on those that don’t believe but as a Christian, my friends are Christians.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (The Message)

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way: “I’ll live in them, move into them; I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people. So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good,” says God. “Don’t link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I’ll be a Father to you; you’ll be sons and daughters to me.” The Word of the Master, God.

To my brothers in the Lord

If you are active at your church please continue to do so and invite other men to attend and get involved too. If you see a new guy at your church, take time to get to know him and make sure he feels welcome so that he will come back. If you are a man who goes to church but leaves right after service, doesn’t get involved, volunteer or fellowship with other believers, ask yourself why and pray about changing. Living this Christian life alone is hard but when you have others around you who love God, are living for Him and growing in Him, your relationship with God will become stronger. Coming to church and getting involved will bless your life and who knows, you may find a wife!!

To my sisters in the Lord

Sisters continue to be patient. God has not forgotten you. Don’t believe the lie that there are no good men out there. Majority of my married friends found their husband at their church. Worldly men can be very aggressive and Christian men, in their attempt to be gentlemen, can sometimes move a little slow. A man who moves slower than usual but is honest and seeking God every step of the way is much better than a man who is only out for one thing. When a new guy comes to church or a Christian event, PLEASE don’t bombard him like a piece of meat. We don’t want to intimate the new male faces and cause them to not come back. Let’s continue to learn how to treat each other like brothers and sisters in Christ. If a friendship develops into a relationship then fine, but don’t force things to happen because you’re tired of waiting. God knows your desires, He knows just want you need and when you need it. Keep trusting in Him.

The Middle Ground Between The Chastity Belt and Girls Gone Wild

 

In today’s sexualized society, there has to be a middle ground between feeling like you need to wear a chastity belt to remain pure and falling head first into the sexual revolution. I believe the media has fed women so many lies about sexuality and now many of us are paying the hurtful price behind believing those lies. Checkout the definitions of chastity belt and sexual revolution.

Wikipedia defines a chastity belt as  a locking item of clothing designed to prevent sexual intercourse. They may be used to protect the wearer from rape or temptation. Some devices have been designed with additional features to prevent masturbation. Chastity belts have been created for males and females. According to modern myth the chastity belt was used as an anti-temptation device during the Crusades. When the knight left for the Holy Lands on the Crusades, his Lady would wear a chastity belt to preserve her faithfulness to him.

The sexual revolution (sexual liberation”) encompasses the changes in social thought and codes of behaviour related to sexuality throughout the Western world that took place from the 1960s into the 1970s.Sexual liberalisation was the beginning of an acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships (primarily marriage).[3] Contraception and the pill, public nudity, the normalisation of homosexuality and alternative forms of sexuality, and the legalization of abortion all followed.

As a married woman, I strongly believe in women being free in marriage to please their husbands and be pleased as well as often as they want to. Sex is good, sex is important, sex is fun and pleasing in God’s sight. The problem is so many women have brought the world’s lies about what sex and what being sexually free really means. In many women’s fight to kill the double standard between men and women, some have chosen to become just as irresponsible, slutty, cold-hearted and promiscuous as the men who’ve hurt them in the past. Everyone should be responsible and safe when it comes to sex. No one should misuse, abuse, lie, cheat and jump in and out of bed with multiple partners.

As a Christian, I believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I know first hand how hurtful, lonely, confusing, disappointing, dangerous and depressing casual sex can be. I thank God for His healing and restoring power. When I turned my life over to Christ, I found the hope, joy, peace, comfort, strength, wisdom, self-confidence and love that I was missing and looking for in all the wrong places. Now I have been extremely blessed with a husband who loves God, loves me and faithful and dedicated to only me. My husband was a virgin when we got married and from the day we met until this very second, he continues to show me what true, holy godly love really is. Ladies there is nothing like it in the whole wide world.

Women don’t fight for your right:

1. To have your body used and then forgotten about by men who don’t really love you or themselves.

2. Get pregnant and left all alone to struggle to raise a child or children.

3. Get STD’s and/or AIDs. African American women have the highest AIDs rate than any other population.

4. Be emotionally and mentally drained, hurt, angry and bitter because of the sexual choices you’ve made with the wrong men.

You don’t have to wear a chastity belt and be afraid of men or the thought of sexual pleasure BUT you don’t have to be apart of the girls gone wild movement either. Have respect for yourself, have standards for the men that you date and understand that you are more than a sex object/baby maker. Read 1 Cor 13 and find out what real love is. When you know who you are and what your worth, you won’t waste another day letting someone treat you like trash.

Here’s an interesting article about the lie behind the sexual liberation movement.

http://www.goodmorals.org/kersten.htm

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Save The Drama For Yo Mama: 4 Tips On Living Drama Free

Here’s my Facebook status from 9/23/10. I received some great responses from the status so I promised to write a post about drama.

One of my biggest pet peeves are grown people who always have drama in their lives like their 15 but their 25+ years old. What’s the point? Having drama ain’t cute, it’s a waste of time! Get some godly, productive and faithful friends and date someone worthy of your time. I feel a blog post coming on! Lol

Examples of grown folks drama:

1. You continue to date guys that you know are bad for you. You and your man are always arguing, spying on each other and breaking up, only to apologize and start the cycle back over again.

2. You and your friends are always talking about each other and can never get along. This isn’t high school people, focus on developing a few close friendships instead of trying to have a clique as big as a football team.

3. Your always bouncing from job to job claiming that your boss and coworkers “just don’t like you” instead of seeking God about where you need to be, being mature and a diligent worker.

4 Tips On How To Live A Drama Free Life

1. Learn to love yourself. When you study the bible and discover how precious you are in God’s sight, when you start to appreciate your strengths and truly know your value, you won’t allow others to treat you like crap. Psalm 139:14

2. Learn to walk in love and forgiveness. No one is perfect. When a friend offends you or your boss speaks harshly to you, instead of cussing them out and telling everyone know you, ask God to show you how to be forgiven, merciful and how to walk in love as th bible commands. Matt 6:14-15 & Luke 10:27

3. In relationships, pay close attention to signs that the person may be bad for you. Guard your heart and end it when the red flags start popping up. No one wants to waste time jumping from bad relationship to bad relationship. Stop falling for the “bad boy.” Know that God’s got a hard working, respectful, honest, sold out for Christ MAN not boy, just for you. Be patient and trust God. Proverbs 3:5-6 & 4:23

4. Develop friendships with people who desire to live drama free. You must let go of friends that like to gossip all day everyday, argue over petty things, are easily offended and self centered. Birds of a feather always flock together. If you’re trying to honor God with your conversation and lifestyle, you must befriend others who have that same goal and are walking according to God’s word. Proverbs 11:13 & 20:19

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com