Boyz To Men: 5 Signs that He’s A Man and No Longer A Boy

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Let God make a man out of him, before you try to make a husband out of him ~ Author Unknown.

No woman wants to date a boy, let alone marry one. As women, we need to make sure we pay attention to the signs that the men in our lives show us. If he shows you that he’s immature and selfish please don’t ignore the signs.

Back in the day when I was in college, I dated a few boys trying to stunt like they were men. They showed me from the beginning that they weren’t focused on anyone but themselves. I was desperately wanting not to be single, therefore I continued wasting my time, trying to make something out of nothing. Funny how I had the nerve to get mad when things went south, when really the relationships lived in the south pole. I thank God for deliverance and opening my eyes and renewing my mind. Once I allowed God to make a woman of godliness, holiness, focus, determination and purpose, my self esteem went up and my priorities changed.

Once a man has a true relationship with God, he won’t want to waste your time or break your heart. When men submit their flesh to God, the last thing they want to do is hit it and quit it. If they want it they will put a ring on it. Remember ladies, love is committment.

Signs that a man has allowed God to make a man out of him:

1. He’s sold out for Jesus and unashamed of the gospel of Christ.

2. His focus is to live holy and please God.

3. He understands that dating is to get to know someone for marriage. Yes he wants to have fun but his goal is to find the right woman for him, not to have sex or just to have a pretty girl on his arm.

4. He’s faithful to God and to you. By faithful to God I mean, he has a relationship with God, church home, a prayer life and living according to the word of God. No he is not perfect but he strives to be more like Christ. If he’s working hard to be faithful to God, he will try his best to be faithful to you, God’s daughter.

5. He’s giving of his time and money to God, you and others. He isn’t selfish, he’s looking for ways to be a blessing to those around him.

Ladies, allow God to make a man out of the man you have your eyes on. Once he’s molded into the man that God has created him to be, he will be ready to be all that you need him to be. If he’s not committed to God, he can’t be committed to you. Being single, happy and in the will of God is a blessing, dating out of God’s will and being unhappy is not a blessing.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

When my husband Eddie and I met, we both were young (early 20’s) and had just gotten out of relationships with other people. We were fairly new to our church and were getting involved, making friends and learning about developing a personal relationship with Jesus. Eddie knew that God was still making a man out of him and he was not ready for a serious relationship leading towards marriage, therefore he did not step to me in a romantic way. We developed a friendship and just got to know each other in a group setting since we were blessed to hang in the same circle. As time went on and we continued to develop and mature spiritually, emotionally and financially, we both felt peace to begin dating and planning our future together.

I am not the type of Christian that believes that everyone’s testimony should be like mine. I am not saying that everyone has to do things how we did them. Each person needs to seek God, his word and other godly counsel around them (friends, parents, pastor etc) in order to know when their ready to date and for counsel and accountability regarding who they should date. No one wants to waste their time or get their heart broken. A way to avoid these things is to date with a purpose. After a few dates, you should know if the person is worth continuing to see because you have the same morals, values, beliefs and interest, or if you if it’s time to part ways because there isn’t anything therefore. At the right time, you will meet the guy for you, in the mean time, be single and fabulous and enjoy this wonderful journey called life! Travel, pursue God and your purpose, shop, work, play, make friends, and enjoy every moment!!

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To Mrs. Willis With Love

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My mother in love went home to be with the Lord this past May. She was an amazing woman and it’s honestly still hard to believe that she’s no longer with us but I know she’s partying with the angels. She was an awesome cook, baker and decorator. If they threw parties in Heaven, I know she’d hook Jesus up with the most beautiful spread made with all the fixings. My MIL was full of many talents! When I thought about starting to write in my blog again, several topics and ideas came to mind. I started thinking about everything that’s happened over the past seven months and my MIL came to mind. I dedicate this post to you, Margaret Lee Willis, forever in my heart.

Dear Mrs. Willis,

I sit here tonight thinking of you. I smile at the thought of your smile. I can picture you cooking and decorating the house for the countless parties we hosted. I see you sitting on the couch singing to our daughter Elyssa and finding pure joy in every minute that you got to spend with her. You took your role as a mother and a grandmother very seriously and I’ve always admired and respected that about you.

Though it’s easy to allow myself to be sad that your no longer here, I choose to rejoice instead. I rejoice because you’re no longer in pain. I rejoice because you’re rejoicing with the angels and spending time with our Savior. I rejoice because you raised an amazing man who is the best husband and father and for that I am forever grateful. I rejoice because the Lord will give us the grace to carry on your legacy.

I wanted to say thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me how to throw a fabulous party! From Rebecca’s Sweet 16, to countless birthday parties and even 3rd Sunday Family Dinners.Thank you for throwing us the biggest and best engagement party. Thank you for making my Tea Party Baby Shower so elegant and unique. Thank you for being so excited when Elyssa was born and for being there to help whenever we called. Thank you for being a woman of faith, a true Proverbs 31 Woman. You were a blessing to me and so many others and I thank God for the time that he blessed us with you. Because I know Jesus, I will see you again and until that day, I’ll just say, see you later.

With Love
Joanna

Learning To Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Your soulmate is the person who mends your broken heart by simply giving you theirs ~ author unknown.

I saw this quote on a FB friend’s page and I thought it would be interesting to write a post about it. While the quote and pic are good intentioned and seemingly romantic, I think the message is actually dangerous. No one can heal us but God. It helps to have positive loving people around us, but they can’t heal us.

3 Reasons Why God is the Answer to Your Pain

1. 1 John 3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.

There isn’t a love greater than the love that Christ has for us. He died for our sins and rose on the third day, so that we can be healed and set free. We love Christ because He first loved us. Often times we get caught up in what looks like romance and happiness BUT if it doesn’t please Christ, it isn’t his will for us. God heals, he saves, he lives to make us whole again. No one can love us unconditionally like Christ.

2. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The only one who can heal our bodies, emotions and make our life better is God. We have to be careful not to try to make our significant others our savior. No man or woman can heal our hearts or take away our pain. Have you ever seen a woman date a good man (he’s faithful, a gentleman, honest, open and drama free) and she still treats him like he’s one of the dogs that she’s dated in the past. That’s because no matter how much that man loved on her, he couldn’t take away the pain of her past. God loves us so much, that no matter what wrong we’ve done or that’s been done to us, He is waiting, ready and willing to love on us, restore us and make us whole again. Restoration comes when we submit to Gods will and focus on pleasing him, NOT man.

3. Matthew 9:22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

It’s important for us to have faith in God, knowing that He alone is the answer to all of our problems. When we put our faith in people, at some point we find ourselves frustrated and disappointed because man fails us but God never fails. When we submit to the Lord, putting all of our issues on the altar, He is always faithful to meet us right where we’re at and start the process of making us new again. Some healing is instant and others healing is a process. As long as we keep our eyes on the cross, we know that our break through is on the way.

5 Reasons To Marry A God Loving, Bible Mediating, Tongue Talking Man Of God

Hello World! Its been a while since I’ve published a blog post. I’ve thought of writing often but there has been a lot going on in my life and I had to take a short break but I’M BACK and I’m truly missed my blog. Readers please forgive me! I pray all of you are well!!

Today is my four year anniversary and we are very grateful to God for continuing to bless us and teach us how to love each other and stay married for life! Don’t believe the lies of the world, people are getting married and staying happily married; not just roommates who don’t have talk, laugh or have sex. I know plenty of godly couples who continue to make their marriage a priority and work to keep things holy happy and hot!! The key word is WORK!! It’s rewarding fun work but work just the same. If you’re reading this and your marriage is in a rough season, be encouraged. God is bigger than your problems and He’s ready and willing to help you two through this season! Just surrender to Him, seek godly counsel and don’t give up. Keep talking, praying and pulling on other mature stable marriages around you for guidance.

Ok single ladies, I want to present you with a short list to remind you of WHY you want to make sure you marry a man after God’s heart and not some Jay Z, Trey Songz wanna be or any other Bozo at your church or on your job.

Please note that I’m NOT talking about the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Not talking about the man who goes to church, wears a suit and pretends to know Jesus to get the ladies to trust him and sleep with him. I’m NOT talking about the men on the deacon board who cheat on their wives and preach to people on Sunday mornin. I’m talking about men who have a true relationship with God and work hard to live holy godly LIFESTYLES on a daily basis. No one is perfect but there are men out here who are seeking God and trying their best to live for him. These are the type of men that I want my single friends to wait on because man are they worth the wait!! I know my husband was!!

5 Reasons To Marry A God Loving, Bible Mediating, Tongue Talking Man Of God

1. When the storms of life come he will be able to speak the word of God over you, your children, your marriage etc. He will know how to go to the cross and seek the Lord. He will know that on his own strength he can not fix the issues but God can and will.

2. He will know how to be the leader of the home and seek the Holy Spirit regarding the family. He will lead, protect, guide and listen to his wife. He won’t try to dominate and abuse her but rather talk and pray with her and then take the issues to the Holy Spirit so that the proper direction can be revealed to him. He is not a punk or a coward. He is the protector and leader of the home and he takes his role seriously!!

3. He will enjoy ONLY his wife sexually as the bible has commanded him too. He won’t entertain hard or soft porn. He will guard his eyes and ears diligently to make sure that he does not fall into temptation and allow the devil to have any place in his heart or marriage bed. He will not be close friends with men who aren’t trying to walk the same holy lifestyle as himself because he knows that he can not afford to fail in this area. His wife is all that he needs and he aims to please her inside and outside the bedroom.

4. He will seek God regarding the family’s finances and won’t just spend what he wants to spend when he wants to spend it. He will work hard to have a budget plan and seek God for wisdom regarding how to bring the family increase and not decrease. He will show integrity and diligence regarding the finances and will communicate with his wife concerning the money.

5. He won’t leave when the marriage has rough patches. He will stay and fight for his family. He won’t be a dead beat dad. He will chase the devil away instead of allowing him to chase him away. He will swallow his pride and seek godly counsel if needed. He will seek guidance from other brother’s in the Lord regarding the family struggles. He will ask the Father for grace, peace, long suffering, and joy in his marriage/family and continue to press until he sees the victory in his home once again. He walks around with joy because he’s read the back of the book and knows that he wins. The devil has been defeated and he can trust the Lord to fight his battles!

Prayer for My Single Sistas

Lord thank you for my single sistas. Thank you for keeping them during this season. Thank you for their desires to be holy and happy while they walk out whatever it is you have for them right now. Thank you for peace and joy Lord God. Thank you for the hope they have in you because of the promises in your word regarding marriage and their future. Help them to throw way the lies of the world regarding dating, men, marriage and sex. Help them to seek you even when they feel tired of waiting. Renew their spirits Lord. Show them that your love for them can’t ever compare to what a man could give anyway because you created them and died for them. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness today and always, AMEN!!

10 Tips To Making Your Marriage Bed Even HOTTER in 2012

It’s so important for us married folk to keep thinking of ways to keep our marriage bed holy, smokin hot, healthy and happy. Husbands and wives need to continue to create ways to please one another and have fun in the bedroom. Wives, let’s consider trying a few suggestions on this list to help us step up our bedroom game in 2012. You know what your husband likes and if you don’t then simply just ask him. He needs to learn your sexual desires and needs and you need to learn his. Enjoy trying new things together. Learn to let loose and laugh as you discover pleasure together. Don’t try to be anyone but yourselves. Trying new things does require a little bravery but you can do it and your husband will appreciate your thoughtfulness and attempt to take ya’lls intimacy to the next level!

10 Tips To Making Your Marriage Bed Even HOTTER in 2012

1. If your husband is into lingerie, consider purchasing a sexy outfit once a month or every other month. Men are visual and he’ll enjoy seeing his bride in somethings short and sexy.

2. Try a new position once a month. Either you can think of the position if your good at being creative or you can propose the idea to your husband and you two enjoy thinking of new ways to please each other together.

3. Practice kissing your husband longer and more passionately, whether during your intimate moments or just when saying goodbye before heading out to work. Show him with your actions that you adore him and appreciate him. A soft sensual kiss may be just what he needs to start his day or end his day.

4. Think of creative ways to initiate sex more often. Husbands like to feel desired and they like to know that we’re looking forward to making love to them.

5. Send loving and sensual text messages to your husband during the day, letting him know that he’s on your mind and you can’t wait to come together with him later. This gives him something to look forward to and he’ll be excited to know that you desire him sexually.

6. Purchase lotions or body butter to help you smell good and to leave your skin smoothly irresistible. You may even want to have some smell goods set aside only for love making so that when he smells you in certain scents, he knows it’s time to come together.

7.  Think of ways to make your bedroom more romantic such as candles, rose petals and music. Every time you two come together you don’t have to set out all the stops but every now and then it’s nice to set up your bedroom extra special and enjoy the romantic environment.

8. Try ways to spice up your four play. Only do things in bedroom that both of you are comfortable with but whatever you do, learn to sometimes slow it down and enjoy every touch and tingle.

9. Build your husband’s ego regarding how much he pleases you sexually. Tell him more often how much you love his love and love-making.

10. Ask your husband about his sexual fantasies and attempt to make them come true if you feel comfortable. Share your fantasies with him also and keep learning to please each other.

YES life is busy with careers, children, house work, church, family, school etc BUT we MUST make our marriages a priority. We must be faithful, honest, trustworthy, giving, selfless and learn to committment affectively in order to have the marriages that God intended for us to have. Sex is a very important part of marriage so don’t neglect coming together.

National Love On Your Husband and Make Him Smile Day

Happy Friday Everyone!!

I want to make today National Love On Your Husband and Make Him Smile Day! All of our lives are so busy between taking care of our spouses, children, job duties, serving at our churches etc and sometimes it’s easy to forget to STOP and take time for the little things. Today I challenge us all to take a moment, slow down and love on our husbands. Ladies you know what your husband likes, you know what brings a smile to his face and makes him feel appreciated. I’ve learned that when I keep my husband happy he works even harder to make me happy and in turn we both continue working hard to meet each other’s needs. I must confess that today started off on the wrong foot. I was running late for work and being snappy. I calmed down, apologized and asked my husband if we can start over. I will work hard to make this day and everyday peaceful and enjoyable for us both. With God’s grace there’s nothing we can’t do ladies!!

Here are a few suggestions for ways you can love on your husband today:

*Call or text your husband and let him know that your thinking of him, hope he’s having a good day and can’t wait to see him later on.

*Give your husband a big kiss and hug before you leave the house or when you return. Look him straight in the face and tell him that you love, appreciate and need him. Make sure you say it like you mean it and show your desire for him in your eyes.

*If your husband likes cards, go purchase him a cute appreciation card with his favorite snack and let him know that you were thinking of him.

*Ask your husband if there is anything you can do for him today to help his day go smoother.

*Get a babysitter and surprise your husband with date night (this will only work if he enjoys going out and isn’t too tired) If he’s a home body, when the house is settled and the children are in bed, go freshen up, put on something sexy, walk into the bedroom and well you know what to do from there 🙂

*Maybe things have been so hectic that you and your husband haven’t sat down and just laughed and talked. Make it a point today to talk to your husband like you used to before bills, children and anything else that’s stressful. Look into his eyes, let him know your happy to be in the moment with him and just have a good time being there together.

The point of this post is to remind us to slow down and continue to make our marriages a priority. Marriage is a lot of work and in order to have a healthy, happy, holy and HOT marriage, we must continue to put in the time and effort. Wives lets continue to learn to communicate with our husbands with respect, understanding and compassion. When we find ourselves not being kind and patient lets be quick to apologize and get back in love with them. Let’s continue to make passionate love to them on a regular with excitement and a willing heart. Let’s continue to serve them however they need us to knowing that everything we do is to bring God glory.

Enjoy National Love On Your Husband Day and Make Him Smile Day! Feel free to post what you did or plan to do for your hubby today so other wives can be inspired! May God bless all of our marriages!!

Stop Having Yo New Man Pay For The Sins of Yo Past Man

The new man can’t afford to pay the debt of the one who came up short, nor should he. If he does, then he’ll come up short. Release the ex of that debt, forgive him and wish him well for real. Start fresh with this new man, as if your heart had never been broken. That’s what grown women do. Bitterness doesn’t look good on nobody~ Kim Blakes, my FB friend.

My response to her status: Amen! We need to give our hurt, pain and issues from past broken relationships to God and allow HIM to heal us. We can’t truly be what a new love needs us to be if we aren’t complete and whole in Christ. Trust me, I’ve been there. Thank God for His mercy, grace, restoration and love.

There are 2 points that I’d like to zero in on regarding this topic.

1. Forgiveness is key when trying to get over a past relationship that went bad. It’s impossible to harbor anger and bitterness when you have truly forgiven someone and given your hurt over to God. I used to hate my 2 ex’s with a passion. When I rededicated my life to Christ, I knew I had to lay my pain, anger and unforgiveness on the altar if my sins were to be forgiven, if I desired to be whole, at peace and if I wanted to be a happy woman and wife one day. Forgiveness seems unfair because you were the one who was wronged but forgiveness is for you so that you can be free and delivered from the bondage of the past. When I learned to forgive those three gentlemen my attitude and life changed for the better. Shortly after that I met my husband and we began a beautiful friendship that eventually lead to love.

2. It’s very important to not jump into a new relationship before you allow yourself to get healing and closure from your past relationship. When a relationship ends negatively, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your heart. Sometimes you may find yourself depressed, confused and defeated. You need to go into a quiet room and tell the Lord what happened, how you feel and what you need from Him. The bible tells us to cast our burdens unto Jesus for He cares for us. God already knows what’s going on but He wants you to come to Him willingly with an open heart so that He can heal, love and comfort you. There is no love like the love of our Heavenly Father and there’s no hurt that He can’t heal. The bible says that He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.

When you take the mess from your past relationship into your new one, your asking for your new relationship to fail. It’s not fair to the new man whose intentions towards you maybe pure but you treat him as if you know he’s going to dog you out and leave you hanging like the last joker. Seek godly counsel and get yourself together before jumping into a premature relationship that could end just as badly as the last.

Bonus tip: When we allow ourselves to jump from one bad relationship to the next, we make it harder for Mr. Right when he comes along. 1. Because we’re so distrusting that we can’t see him for who he really is 2. We’re too busy being angry about the last joker that we LET dog us out that we can’t see the good man standing right in front of our face. 3. We’ve ALLOWED ourselves to deal with so many bad guys that we lose hope that good guys even exist. There are good men out there but you have to ask yourself, are you ready to properly love one? Do yourself a favor, get restored from the past, embrace your time of singleness and learn to love yourself. If you don’t love you, you can’t possibly love someone else.