Yo Mr. Right, Where Are U? 4 Benefits To Getting Married After 30

The picture attached to today’s post states: When God knows your ready for the responsibility of commitment, HE will reveal the right person under the right circumstances. I firmly believe that God knows what we need and when we need it. Most people that I know desire to be married one day and sometimes the pressures of life cause people to start feeling anxious. When anxiety sets in, we tend to make the wrong choices, and marriage isn’t a decision that anyone wants to jump into. I found a helpful article about why getting married after 30 has many benefits. Please review the post and let me know what you think. Have any other tips to add?

Shannon Fox and Celeste Liversidge, coauthors of Last One Down the Aisle Wins, report “statistics show that if you wait and marry closer to 30, your chances of having a healthy, long-lasting relationship more than double.”

Rather than spend your twenties hunting for the perfect mate, Fox and Liversidge recommend focusing your energies towards having the kinds of experiences that will help you fully develop into the person who will be completely ready to find The One in your 30’s. Here are a few tips that they shared in their article. You can read the article the full article at http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12160/

Fox and Liversidge list 3 reasons why women tend to rush into marriage. What do you think about this list?

  1. Because all of their friends are getting married
  2. Because their biological clock starts ticking
  3. They desire the financial stability that comes along with marriage

Benefits to getting married after 30

1. The statistics clearly show that marrying someone when you’re too young puts increases the risk of that marriage ending in divorce. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, if you wait until after the age of 25 to get married, your chances of staying married more than double! The old “50 percent of marriages end in divorce” statistic is cut in half if you just wait a little while longer to take the plunge.

2. When it comes to marriage, two halves definitely do not make a whole. Taking the time to develop into your best, most complete individual self before you marry allows you to bring vital ingredients to the table; you are more confident, you know who you are (and more importantly, who you’re not), you have a better idea of what you need from a potential husband and what it means to be a good wife. You have control of your finances and aren’t overly needy or volatile. You’ve achieved a healthy separation from your family and won’t end up feeling resentful for the adventures or passions you wish you would’ve pursued during your younger, single years. In short, you are able to come into the marriage as an equal partner, because you’re a grown-up.

3. Money is a huge, hot-button issue for women in addition to being one of the top three reasons people get divorced. People sometimes think that getting a handle on your finances means learning how to budget or finally starting that 401(k). But the truth is that — especially for women — money is an issue that is fraught with emotions. Your single years are the perfect time to develop a good personal relationship with money before it has the chance to become a destructive force in your marriage. When women let their feelings about money rule their actions, they increase the risk of making a poor decision when choosing who to marry. If you really believe that you need a man to take care of you, then you’ll be more likely to settle for the first guy who has the ability to wipe your debt slate clean and offer you financial stability.

4. Taking the time to develop a healthy body image before you settle down is crucial for a happy marriage and, particularly, for guaranteeing you’ll have a happy, healthy sex life. Of course, most women struggle to some extent with body image and body dissatisfaction, but if a woman doesn’t manage to get to a place of acceptance with her imperfect body before she marries, it can have devastating effects on her relationship with her husband. In fact, 67% of the men we surveyed reported that their wives’ negative body image caused serious issues in the marriage. Sex-related problems in the marriage are also amongst the top three reasons for divorce.

Why Good Lovin Body Rockin Knocking Boots Aint Worth Dying For

In 1993 H-Town released a hit record called “Knockin Da Boots.” I was 12 years old and I thought the group was so cute and the song was so cool. Of course my parents did not allow me to listen to secular music, esp something as vulgar as that song, so I snuck when they weren’t around. As a child I didn’t understand the lyrics, let alone the seriousness of being sexually active before marriage and the physical, emotional and spiritual death that occurs from it.

Sex sales and the message and pressures to have sex and be sexual is everywhere (music, movies, fasion etc). What’s not everywhere is the truth, which is that sex outside of marriage is dangerous, lonely and drama filled. People fight for their right to be promiscuous saying it’s their body and they can do what they want with it. STDs and AIDs are at an all time high and as well as children being born to single parents. Sex outside of marriage isn’t safe. It pulls you further and further away from God and brings upon physical and emotional problems that most don’t think about until everything around them is falling apart.

I was not a virgin when I got married so I can tell you first hand about the drama, shame, loneliness, angry and confusing feelings that come alone with sex outside of marriage. I rededicated my life to Christ in 2002 and a few years later met my husband at our church and got married. You can only imagine my amazement at discovering how beautiful, passionate, safe, giving and SMOKIN HOT love-making was inside of my covenant trusting relationship with my husband. I didn’t have to worry about him getting me pregnant or giving me a disease. Because we both love Christ and have him at the center, we don’t allow any person, porn, sex toys etc inside our bed to defile what God has blessed us with. We love each other and aim to please each other. Want to experience awesome safe sex? The solution is simple, live holy, trust God to send you a mate to that believes your worth the wait, get married and then enjoy all the free, safe, faithful love making that you want. Watch God honor your marriage and love-making when you do things the right way. 

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (MSG)

 16-20There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Read these 10 STD facts below and ask yourself, if sex outside of marriage worth all of that?

  • By 2010, at least 35 million children will have lost one or both parents to AIDS.ed
  • A girl is four times more likely to contract an STI/STD than she is to become pregnant.d
  • Unprotected anal intercourse with a partner whose status for STIs/STDs is unknown is the highest-risk sexual practice.k
  • Each year there are approximately 333 million new cases of STDs in the world, according to the CDC.j
  • Over 25 million people globally have died of AIDS since 1981.e
  • The estimated number of people living in the U.S. with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. One in two sexually active people will contact an STD/STI before the age of 25.j
  • While some STIs/STDs—such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis—are curable, if left untreated, they can cause death, infertility, chronic pain, serious birth defects, and miscarriages.d
  • Many sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, can be transmitted through oral sex.i
  • The rate of chlamydia among African-American men is more than 11 times that of white men. Additionally, African-Americans remain the group most heavily affected by gonorrhea. In 2004, the gonorrhea rate among blacks was 19 times the rate among whites.d
  • Although African-Americans make up only 13% of the U.S. population, they accounted for one half of the estimated new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 2004.e
 
Prayer for sexual purity
 
Lord help us to live holy before you. Help us not to give into the lies of the world. Help us to focus on your promises for our future. Lord help us to glorify you in our mind, body and emotions. Send us believers to do life together so that we do not have to walk this Christian journey alone. Help the single saints to be content in their time of singlehood. Help them to stay focused on their goals and keep their eyes on you. Help the married saints to commit their marriages to you and not allow anything to taint the family that you’ve blessed them with. Lord thank you for your mercy and for forgiving us of our past sins and helping us to live right before you daily. Give us the desire and strength needed to leave any relationships or entertainment alone that  causes us to fall into sin. Thank you Lord for always being faithful and loving towards us. We trust you with our lives Lord. In Jesus name amen!

5 Reasons To Marry A God Loving, Bible Mediating, Tongue Talking Man Of God

Hello World! Its been a while since I’ve published a blog post. I’ve thought of writing often but there has been a lot going on in my life and I had to take a short break but I’M BACK and I’m truly missed my blog. Readers please forgive me! I pray all of you are well!!

Today is my four year anniversary and we are very grateful to God for continuing to bless us and teach us how to love each other and stay married for life! Don’t believe the lies of the world, people are getting married and staying happily married; not just roommates who don’t have talk, laugh or have sex. I know plenty of godly couples who continue to make their marriage a priority and work to keep things holy happy and hot!! The key word is WORK!! It’s rewarding fun work but work just the same. If you’re reading this and your marriage is in a rough season, be encouraged. God is bigger than your problems and He’s ready and willing to help you two through this season! Just surrender to Him, seek godly counsel and don’t give up. Keep talking, praying and pulling on other mature stable marriages around you for guidance.

Ok single ladies, I want to present you with a short list to remind you of WHY you want to make sure you marry a man after God’s heart and not some Jay Z, Trey Songz wanna be or any other Bozo at your church or on your job.

Please note that I’m NOT talking about the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Not talking about the man who goes to church, wears a suit and pretends to know Jesus to get the ladies to trust him and sleep with him. I’m NOT talking about the men on the deacon board who cheat on their wives and preach to people on Sunday mornin. I’m talking about men who have a true relationship with God and work hard to live holy godly LIFESTYLES on a daily basis. No one is perfect but there are men out here who are seeking God and trying their best to live for him. These are the type of men that I want my single friends to wait on because man are they worth the wait!! I know my husband was!!

5 Reasons To Marry A God Loving, Bible Mediating, Tongue Talking Man Of God

1. When the storms of life come he will be able to speak the word of God over you, your children, your marriage etc. He will know how to go to the cross and seek the Lord. He will know that on his own strength he can not fix the issues but God can and will.

2. He will know how to be the leader of the home and seek the Holy Spirit regarding the family. He will lead, protect, guide and listen to his wife. He won’t try to dominate and abuse her but rather talk and pray with her and then take the issues to the Holy Spirit so that the proper direction can be revealed to him. He is not a punk or a coward. He is the protector and leader of the home and he takes his role seriously!!

3. He will enjoy ONLY his wife sexually as the bible has commanded him too. He won’t entertain hard or soft porn. He will guard his eyes and ears diligently to make sure that he does not fall into temptation and allow the devil to have any place in his heart or marriage bed. He will not be close friends with men who aren’t trying to walk the same holy lifestyle as himself because he knows that he can not afford to fail in this area. His wife is all that he needs and he aims to please her inside and outside the bedroom.

4. He will seek God regarding the family’s finances and won’t just spend what he wants to spend when he wants to spend it. He will work hard to have a budget plan and seek God for wisdom regarding how to bring the family increase and not decrease. He will show integrity and diligence regarding the finances and will communicate with his wife concerning the money.

5. He won’t leave when the marriage has rough patches. He will stay and fight for his family. He won’t be a dead beat dad. He will chase the devil away instead of allowing him to chase him away. He will swallow his pride and seek godly counsel if needed. He will seek guidance from other brother’s in the Lord regarding the family struggles. He will ask the Father for grace, peace, long suffering, and joy in his marriage/family and continue to press until he sees the victory in his home once again. He walks around with joy because he’s read the back of the book and knows that he wins. The devil has been defeated and he can trust the Lord to fight his battles!

Prayer for My Single Sistas

Lord thank you for my single sistas. Thank you for keeping them during this season. Thank you for their desires to be holy and happy while they walk out whatever it is you have for them right now. Thank you for peace and joy Lord God. Thank you for the hope they have in you because of the promises in your word regarding marriage and their future. Help them to throw way the lies of the world regarding dating, men, marriage and sex. Help them to seek you even when they feel tired of waiting. Renew their spirits Lord. Show them that your love for them can’t ever compare to what a man could give anyway because you created them and died for them. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness today and always, AMEN!!

Boobs In or Boobs Out, That is the Question

Over the last month it’s been strangely hot in Michigan. We didn’t get our usual snow storms or winter weather. Spring is finally here and hopefully the cold weather is behind us. As we prepare for continuous warm days, I felt the need to remind us ladies to watch what we wear. As women of God we want to please the Lord in our wardrobe. Now this doesn’t mean we have to wear turtle necks and head wraps BUT we should make sure our body parts aren’t hanging out for all to see. God has called us to holiness and modesty. I believe there’s a way to be modest but fashionable. Checkout this list below and let me know what you think.

Top 4 Reasons To Put Your Boobs Away and Be Stylish But Modest

1.  Everyone doesn’t need to see your goodies, leave something to the imagination. Your body is sacred and private. You want the man your interested in to work to get to know you, date you and marry you. When you wear your breast out, you don’t appear to be the woman wanting to have a lasting relationship, you look like the woman looking to get laid. Make sure your attire is representing you correctly.

2. You’ll attract guys who are only attracted to your body and you’ll give them the wrong impression about you. You’re a intelligent, hard-working woman but when you show up wearing a top that everyone can see through and is so low-cut even the women have to look away, no one will think of you as anything but the  girl who doesn’t cover up.

3. Your more than a sex object, your God’s child. Your self-esteem shouldn’t be based on how many guys are drooling over you. The bible says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are so important to the Lord, He created you and knows everything about you. He knows the past hurts that you’ve experienced and He wants to heal you, love on you and comfort you. By dressing revealing to get attention, you’ll only find lust, not love. Love desires you with your clothes on, lust desires you only when your clothes are off.

4. Young girls around you are watching so ask yourself what are you showing them? I’m always amazed when I see a woman walking in the mall half-naked with 3 kids trailing behind her and one in the stroller. That woman is looking for attention the only way she knows how but sadly her children are watching and she’s sending them the wrong message. As women and mothers, we must show our children and other young girls around us how to carry themselves. We must watch our dress, conversations and relationships because their watching and what we do affects them. Ask yourself what your wardrobe is teaching your girls.

Top 5 Reasons To ONLY Date R.M.O.G

A RMOG is a real man of God. A RMOG doesn’t just know about God, he loves the Lord and has dedicated his life to serving him. He lives a godly lifestyle and surrounds himself with other men and women who are living for the Lord also. He walks in integrity whether people are watching him or not. A RMOG doesn’t just quote scriptures and religious phrases, he reads and mediates on the word of God and believes it. A RMOG doesn’t care what others think or say about him because he’s confident in his relationship with the Lord. A RMOG isn’t perfect but he aims to be like Christ. A RMOG is truly worth the wait; whether your 15, 25, 35, 45 etc, God knows your desire to be married one day and He’s preparing an awesome RMOG for you. Keep trusting in God knowing that he knows what best for you and when. PS- These type of men do exist, I have one, my father and father in law are both RMOG and I know several other women who have MARRIED RMOG also.

Top 5 Reasons to ONLY Date R.M.OG

1. A RMOG lives his life to please the Lord and he knows that treating you with honor, love and respect will please the Lord. A RMOG won’t call you out your name, lie and cheat on you. If you thought he was a RMOG and he’s doing these things, he’s a wolf and sheep’s clothing so get up girl and RUN!!!

2. A RMOG isn’t gonna hit it and quit it. He lives a holy lifestyle before the Lord and therefore will not attempt to sleep with you before marriage. A RMOG will aim to be holy in his courtship with you and understand that he has no right to your body until after marriage. If he wants it he’ll put a ring on it.

3. A RMOG isn’t gonna just date you until something better comes along then drop you like a hot potato. He’s not into wasting your time, he values you as his sister in the Lord and will be honest about his intentions towards you UPFRONT!! If you’ve been dating a few months and your totally confused about his committment towards you then he’s wasting your time. Dating shouldn’t be a guessing game.

4.  A RMOG is a gentle leader. He knows who he is in Christ and he wants to be the head of his future household. He isn’t a wanna be whose always following folks and going along with whatever you say. He listens to the Holy Ghost then walks out his instructions in love.

5. ONLY A RMOG is marriage material because he knows God intimately and he desires to be the best RMOG that God has called him to be. He’s seeking God about his purpose and choosing the Lord over money, sex, career, cars etc. A RMOG witnesses to others and tells them about the Lord. A RMOG is continually working on his finances and getting his affairs in order for his future family and is continuously being led by the Holy Spirit.

4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Bringing Him Home For Christmas

This holiday season, many will consider bringing their new love interest around their family for the first time.  Before introducing him to the fam, please consider asking yourself these three questions to assist you with making your decision.

1. Where is this relationship really going? Is he marriage material?

You want to know that your relationship is stable and serious before introducing him to your parents and extended family. No one wants to be the cousin that always brings a new guy around every holiday.  How do you know your relationship is serious? One way is by having important conversations about your future together, marriage, children etc. I know some women fear that if they talk about their desire to get married too soon in the relationship (like during the first 6 months) they’ll run their crush away. I feel like this, you don’t want to waste his time or yours so use your dating time to get to know one another and talk about your future goals. If you let someone know that you desire to get married one day and they tell you up front that they don’t, then you know they aren’t the one for you.

2. What do his actions tell you and is he really marriage material?

Remember, actions always speak louder than words. If he says he wants to marriage you but it’s been a few years and you haven’t received a proposal, ring or set a date, chances are he’s only saying the words you want to.

Also, ask yourself if he’s marriage material. Could you see yourself marrying him the way he is today? The way he treats you, the amount of money that he currently makes etc. Does he love God with his whole heart and attempts to live a lifestyle according to the word of God? Does he love God more than he loves you? Does he have dreams, goals and motivation to be the best man he can be? Does he love, encourage, support, protect, pray, respect and honor you? Consider your answers before jumping to say that he is or isn’t marriage material.

3. Does he challenge, motivate and make you better?

Does he encourage you to discover and then walk in your purpose? Does he motivate you to follow your dreams and work hard to achieve your goals? Many of us can think of past exs that brought us down; encouraged us to skip class, lie to our parents or do things that we really didn’t want to do. It’s so important to date someone who brings out the best in you and motivates you to be better. If he’s following his dreams and working hard to make something of himself, he’ll do the same for you because he loves you. If he’s lazy and only taking from you, then he’s bringing you down and must go!!

4. Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

It’s always a good idea to write out a list of the characteristics you want in your ideal mate. I’m not talking about looks, though looks are important. I’m talking about things that you would want your future husband to be such as in love with the Lord, honest, hard working, loving, funny, intelligent etc. If your current man’s list has some of the following words, you may consider not bringing him around the family and re-evaluating the relationship: selfish, rude, not dependable, broke, unfaithful and unmotivated. The person you date won’t be perfect, no one is, but he should have the potential to be great because of his heart and his actions. If he continues to show you that this relationship is temporary and he’s only here till the fun ends, maybe you should let him off the ride now.

So, did you like your answers about your man? If so, that’s awesome! Enjoy celebrating Christmas with your love! If he didn’t pass, let him go and don’t waste another day on a dead end relationship. Ladies patiently waiting on love, let’s continue to love ourselves, know our worth and seek God about our love lives or lack there of. There’s no need to settle or try to make someone be what we want them to be. Mr. Right will come along in God’s perfect timing, in the mean time, enjoy being single, free and happy. Submit to God, trust Him completely and watch Him do BIG things in your life!!

He May Be Hot But He’s A NOT! 3 Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

According to a recent Yale study, 42 percent of African-American women have yet to be married, compared to only 23 percent of white women. There’s also a gap in numbers. The 2000 U.S. Census counted 1.8 million more African-American women than men.

In a day and age where so many saved, successful, beautiful women are single, many women find themselves falling into the temptation of compromising their beliefs to get a man. The messages that the world tell us are loud and all around us but those messages only lead to hurt, pain, loneliness, disappointment and most importantly death! Romans 6:23 (KJV)For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. In Christ we have all that we need. He knows our needs and desires. He knows what’s best for us and He has a plan for our lives! Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG) I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

So now that you know God has a future for you and there’s no need to fear or compromise, let me give you 5 signs to look out for regarding dating. The guys that step to you may be fine, BUT are they helping you to be better or bringing you down? Are they bringing you closer to Christ or further away? If he is doing any of these things you need to pray and consider ending the relationship. 

1. He wants to keep the relationship a secret. If he doesn’t want to proclaim to the world that you are his girl and he’s proud, happy, excited and blessed to be with you, there’s a problem. Don’t be anyone’s secret girl. I call secret girls “side girls” because your probably not the only one he’s messin with, why else would he want to keep your relationship a secret? Come on sis, your better than that!

2. He’s always commenting on your body and making sexual advances towards you. Whether he’s overly complimenting or criticizing you about your body, either one isn’t good. No one wants to feel like their man cares more about their outer appearance then what’s on the inside. He needs to love you for you and not once you’ve lost or gained 15 pounds. If he’s always touching you and being sexually aggressive, that’s a sign that he needs to get the steppin! Being holy and sexually pure is sometimes a daily challenge and you don’t need some knucklehead causing you to fall into temptation all for him to bounce after he gets what he wants anyway!! 

3. He’s fine but doesn’t have a relationship with Christ or he just got saved but wants you to “help him find Jesus.” If he doesn’t know God than he won’t know how to treat, love or respect you. God is love and by getting to know Him intimately (more than for 2 hours a week at Sunday service) we learn how to love ourselves and our brothers and sister’s in Christ. The fact that he’s fine with a good job, car and house but doesn’t know God isn’t good enough. He can be fine and end up helping to send you to Hell because you fell away from the things of the Lord.

The same is true for the newly saved man. He just gave his life to Christ, so he’s still learning about living holy and being the man God created him. Leave him alone, stop distracting him and let him grow in God. If it’s God’s will, He will send him back across your path at a later time. 

Do you sometimes find yourself feeling lonely or anxious about when your man of God will come along? When it feels like all of your friends are getting married and you’re wondering if God’s forgotten about you, read Matt 6:32-34 and be encouraged! God hasn’t left you or forgotten you. He knows what’s best and He’s preparing you for great things!

Matthew 6:32-34 The Message

30-33“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

34“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.