10 Ways To Protect Your Children From Sexual Abuse

Stats on childhood sexual abuse:

*An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.
*1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
*1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.

Even within the walls of our own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse:

*30-40% of victims are abused by family members.
*Another 50% are abused outside of the home by someone who they know and trust.
*Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
*Therefore only 10% are abused by strangers.
*Over 30% of victims never disclose the abuse to anyone.

http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp/

As adults and parents, it is our job to protect our children and keep them safe. It is up to us to break our silence about the abuse that we may have suffered as adults and make better choices when it comes to raising our children. It is not strangers that are abusing and raping our children, it’s people we know, such as our family members, neighbors, babysitters and family friends. We must wake up and not ignore the signs that someone may not be suituable to watch our children. We must stop being in such a hurry to find anyone to watch our children so that we can get to work or have some time to hang out with our friends. God blessed us with these children and we must not take them for granted or treat them like they don’t matter. We are going to be accountable to God for how we treat our children.

Often times parents have been sexually abused as children because their parents left them with cousins, boyfriends or babysitters that weren’t appropriate. The parents grew up, never disclose the abuse they suffered and they figure they’ve just gotten over it. In turn, those parents make the same mistake that their parent’s made. They leave their children with cousins, boyfriends/girlfriends or babysitters who abuse their children and the viscous cycle continues.  We MUST break generational curse of sexual abuse over our families. We MUST take a stand and say NO MORE!! No more will the family turn a blind eye to the family member who continues to touch the children inappropriately, to the family friend that is always trying to get your children to sit on his lap or to have alone time with them. Everyone CAN’T have access to your children!!! WAKE UP PARENTS, you can’t afford not to be prayed up and following the Holy Spirit when it comes to your children.

If you are a parent who has been abused, seek godly counsel and get restoration. Read the word of God, join a local church that is teaching the word of God and consider joining a support group for childhood sexual abuse survivors. Learn how to cope, heal and be strong once again. Learn the signs of sexual abuse and how to protect your children. Don’t allow just anyone to watch your children. Pray and ask God to guide you regarding who should have access to your children.

My parents didn’t allow my brother and I to spend long periods of time at family or friends houses, especially overnight, and the individuals that they choose to watch us had the same morals, values and house hold rules as them. We weren’t allowed to go over people’s houses that weren’t going to properly supervise us.  My parents encouraged my friends and cousins to come to our house a lot to play. That way my parents could keep an eye on what was going on and they knew that their children were safe. Yes parents, this means you have to sacrifice and babysit other people’s children on the weekends sometimes instead of sending your children away to other people’s houses, but isn’t it worth it to know that your precious angels are safe and not being exposed to pornography and molestation? Everyone knows what happens in the basements at relatives houses or other people’s houses. Older cousin’s like to show younger cousin’s porn, give them drinks, cigarettes and weed. Anyone who doesn’t have the same supervision, morales and values as you should not have access to your children. You work hard to keep your children innocent, why allow other people’s children to come around and take that innocence from them?

10 Ways You Can Protect Your Children From Sexual Abuse

To read the descriptions of each point in detail, please go to the link below:

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/4507/10-ways-you-can-protect-your-child-from-sexual-abuse/

1. Follow your gut

2. Choose your child over the approval of your peers

3. Think twice about people who push hard about your boundaries.

4. Take your own history into account.

5. Consider not leaving your children until they can talk.

6. Avoid situations where people you don’t know will be present.

7.  Tell the child in front of the caregiver that this person will not touch or harm them in anyway.

8. Give your child permission to cry, speak, protest when they feel boundaries are being crossed.

9. Have a no one gets in trouble policy.

10. Listen to your children.

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5 Responses to “10 Ways To Protect Your Children From Sexual Abuse”

  1. Joanna Holmes Says:

    I do think that the numbers are higher in the urban black community. Not only are we concerned about adults, but children/teens are experimenting at a younger age with children/pre teens who are younger than themselves. In the community that I grew up in, most adults didn’t seem to be as concerned or preoccupied with the safety of their children. I really, really believe that this plays a great role with teen pregnancies and crime. In my peer group once, I found that almost ALL of my friends had been abused by a relative or family friend. That is scary.

    I believe that the way to really, really deal with this issue is to integrate sexual safety into school and community centers more than we do. Let me show you a good example. Fill in the blank: stop, drop and _____. That fire safety phrase is something that we all learned in preschool. ‘Stranger danger’ is a priority health topic as much as is fire safety. I will make sure to email the 10 suggestions to all of the staff in my school as well as push this topic to a more prominent position in our health curriculum. Thanks again…

  2. sworddancewarrior Says:

    The problem is, this is not ‘stranger danger’ this is predominantly danger from the relatives the child lives with or people those people trust.

    If you read up on the behaviour of people who abuse children who are not related to them, they tend to cultivate a squeaky-clean demeanor, working through positions of authority as coaches, child care providers, clergy and other volunteers. They are going to seem completely trustworthy.

    As someone who was abused by a family member, what is most concerning to me is that no-one outside the family (or inside it) interfered, despite knowing I was in distress (not necessarily knowing why). This is what we need to get better at doing. Yes, it’s interfering, but we need to err on the side of the defenceless child.

    For realistic, practical, well-researched information on how to protect your child from abusers from a researcher who has studied them, I suggest this book: Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can Protect Ourselves and Our Children by Anna Salter.

  3. Joanna Holmes Says:

    Once, someone came to my class and said ‘what does a stranger look like?’ The kids were describing trench coats, burgulars, etc. The police officer reminded them that a stranger is someone who can even be in your family. Or a grown up that is not really related but spends time with your family. That really helped them understand the new description of ‘stranger danger’, but I am not sure if everyone knows this updated version.

    Yesterday, I was in tears. Oprah had a panel of pedophiles (air date was 7/14/10). They were able to talk openly about the questions that she had. It was very upsetting for me to watch, but also very educational. Please check it out when you have the chance.

    • joannawillis Says:

      Thanks Joanna for sharing that! I’m glad the police officer was able to educate the children because they need to know the truth! I heard about that Oprah show, I’ll have to check it out. I’m sure it was hard to watch but very powerful!!


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