A Little Scandal Never Hurt Nobody

Shonda Rhimes is the brilliant writer and creator of several hit TV shows including Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder. I first became familiar with her work back in the day when I used to be big fans of Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy. Those shows, I will admit, had their share of typical TV love scenes and drama but Shonda’s new shows have taken TV to a new level of raciness.

Shonda is an amazing writer and she has awesome casts so of course her shows are major hits. I love Kerry Washington, the star of Scandal. I think she’s smart, pretty, bubbly and talented. What blows my mind is that behind all the interesting suspenseful storylines and super cool cast members, are plots full of pornographic scenes glorifying infidelity, fornication and homosexuality, and yet it seems like everyone, saints included, are obsessed with these shows.

I was once a Scandal fan. I watched the first season and I was all in. I enjoyed watching Olivia Pope be the stylish fixer. I tried to ignore the infidelity aspect, though that was the heart beat of the show. Finally after continually having to fast forward through gay and straight sex scenes just to get through episodes, my spiritual convictions caused me to stop watching it all together.

How To Get Away With Murder is her latest show and the amount of graphic sex scenes and infidelity  just blows my mind. Again the plot, writing and acting had me pulled in but I had to continually look away because my saved grown married eyes could not handle the pornography that was being shown. It wasn’t long before I dropped that show too. Another one bites the dust!

I understand that most prime time TV shows have mild sex scenes and have gay characters and I need to figure out what’s benefitual for me to watch and what isn’t. What I’ve been doing lately is searching for wholesome entertainment and cutting the TV off more to read books and write. What I will not allow writers like Shonda Rhimes to do is desensitize me into thinking that infidelity is sexy, fornication is harmless fun and homosexuality is an acceptable way of life because my bible and beliefs tell me otherwise. I will no longer support TV shows that don’t support my beliefs and lifestyle.

I’d be devastated if my life was full of scandals and I found out my husband had cheated on me. I don’t want that life so why would I enjoy watching someone else have it? Infidelity isn’t entertaining, sexy or justifiable. Why do married couples enjoy watching this show together? And as followers of the gospel, aren’t we called to be holy and set apart? Watching this stuff isn’t helping us to be holy or set apart, if anything it’s giving us a blue print of how to mess up ourlives and get out of the will of God.

In a nut shell what I’m saying is, as Christians we must guard our eyes, ears and heart. We can’t let sin become entertaining and acceptable just because Hollywood wraps it up in a bright shiny box. We’re each accountable to God for our own actions so I challenge you to seek God regarding your entertainment (TV, movies and music) ask Him to show you what you should and shouldn’t be consuming. If you decide that you need to let go of somethings, be brave enough to be set apart despite what’s trending on FB or Twitter. We must fashion ourselves after the Word NOT the world.

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Learning To Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Your soulmate is the person who mends your broken heart by simply giving you theirs ~ author unknown.

I saw this quote on a FB friend’s page and I thought it would be interesting to write a post about it. While the quote and pic are good intentioned and seemingly romantic, I think the message is actually dangerous. No one can heal us but God. It helps to have positive loving people around us, but they can’t heal us.

3 Reasons Why God is the Answer to Your Pain

1. 1 John 3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.

There isn’t a love greater than the love that Christ has for us. He died for our sins and rose on the third day, so that we can be healed and set free. We love Christ because He first loved us. Often times we get caught up in what looks like romance and happiness BUT if it doesn’t please Christ, it isn’t his will for us. God heals, he saves, he lives to make us whole again. No one can love us unconditionally like Christ.

2. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The only one who can heal our bodies, emotions and make our life better is God. We have to be careful not to try to make our significant others our savior. No man or woman can heal our hearts or take away our pain. Have you ever seen a woman date a good man (he’s faithful, a gentleman, honest, open and drama free) and she still treats him like he’s one of the dogs that she’s dated in the past. That’s because no matter how much that man loved on her, he couldn’t take away the pain of her past. God loves us so much, that no matter what wrong we’ve done or that’s been done to us, He is waiting, ready and willing to love on us, restore us and make us whole again. Restoration comes when we submit to Gods will and focus on pleasing him, NOT man.

3. Matthew 9:22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

It’s important for us to have faith in God, knowing that He alone is the answer to all of our problems. When we put our faith in people, at some point we find ourselves frustrated and disappointed because man fails us but God never fails. When we submit to the Lord, putting all of our issues on the altar, He is always faithful to meet us right where we’re at and start the process of making us new again. Some healing is instant and others healing is a process. As long as we keep our eyes on the cross, we know that our break through is on the way.

3 Reasons To Be Married Before Starting Your Family

I’m typing this post from our new nursery. My husband Eddie had to build a wall for the nursery because the previous owner knocked it down to expand the livingroom. Now the wall is up, the room is painted, the furniture has been purchased and put together and the decorations are done. God has been so good to us!! He is forever faithful!

I wanted to share three reasons why starting my family after I was married has been a blessing to me. Before I get into it however, I wanted to say that I believe that ALL children are a blessing from God, no matter how they were conceived. The bible teaches us that we are to be holy and abstain from sex until we are married. Read 1 Cor 6:18-20 & 1 Cor 7:1-8 The bible is what I try everyday to live my life by and the teachings in the bible are where I get my views from.

3 Reasons to Be Married Before Starting Your Family

1. Marriage is committment.

When my husband and I said “I Do” to one another, we made a committment that we would be married in sickness, healthy, richer or poor, till death do we part. We made a decision that divorce was not an option and no matter how hard things got, we would continue to seek God and He would get us through. We were blessed to be able to plan when we wanted to start our family and God honored that request. My husband has always desired to be a husband and a father and therefore he has been very involved throughout my pregnancy. He’s attended all my doctor’s appointments, helps me research baby stuff online, reads pregnancy books with me etc. Because we are committed to Christ, our marriage and each other, we are committed to our soon coming daughter together as well. No matter how challenging life may get, we know that God is on outside and we have no reason to fear.

2. Marriage is the ultimate form of team work.

My husband and I are committed to working together as a team. In marriage, you are supposed to be able to count on your spouse to be a helpmate to you. Husbands and wives should try their best to serve one another with a willing attitude and a loving heart. My husband and I work together to get the house work done, grocery shopping, pay the bills and get the meals prepared. I don’t have to worry about having to prepare for the child inside of me alone because I’m not sure if her father will stick around. Because we are committed to Christ, each other and working together as a team, there is NOTHING that we can’t do! We are unstoppable!

Often times when the couple is not married, the mother has to take care of herself during the challenging moments of her pregnancy. When the baby arrives, if  her partner does not live with her, she has no choice but to operate as a single parent, handling late night feedings etc on her own. During pregnancy, women deserve and need to be nurtured, pampered and assisted with every day task, esp towards the end of pregnancy. Right now I can’t tie my shoes, stand on my feet for long periods of time or even have the energy to complete simple daily tasks. I NEED my husband to serve me with a good attitude and help me. The good thing is, he desires to take care of me, he always has, but esp now that I am doing the important job of growing his child safe inside of me.

3. You have someone to love, laugh and learn with throughout this new season of life.

My pregnancy has been enjoyable. I haven’t experienced any complications and have hardly ever gotten sick. God is good!! One things for sure, my body and hormones continue to change but through it all, I’ve had my husband by my side the entire time. He continues to helping me laugh off the awkward pregnancy moments, google things and learn about pregnancy when I have questions or concerns and love me even though my body is growing and my emotions are sometimes out of wack.

No woman should have to go through pregnancy alone. Women need a loving support system to help them go through each stage of pregnancy and into parenthood. It hurts me to see pregnant women neglected, lonely and sad that the person who promised to love them hit the door as soon as the baby was conceived.

Ladies to help avoid the possibility of being a single mother, try not to give up the goods for free, know your worth. If a man truly loves you, he will propose to you and wait to have sex with you until you two have become on before God. First comes love, then comes marriage, THEN comes the baby in the baby carriage!!

Shout Out To All My Diamonds! Ladies Live Your Worth!

This past Wednesday I attended the women’s ministry meeting at my church, Word of Faith Southfield http://woficc.com. The women received an awesome on time word from our First Lady, Minister Tiffany Butler. The title of the message was Live What You Are Worth. Min. Tiffany helped us to see that the Proverbs 31 woman in the bible, can be likened to a diamond. She gave us several examples, definitions and scriptures that I will share with you below. The reason I wanted to blog about this message is because it’s one that EVERY woman should hear. The world tells us that we are only valuable and desirable if we are sexy, skinny, rich and successful by their standards. God has a standard and His way is always right. God’s way won’t have you alone, depressed, hurt and confused! When you don’t know your worth, you live a life that is not pleasing to God and that is hurtful and dangerous to yourself. Below are my notes of the key points from the message. I encourage you to order the message to hear it in it’s entirety. You can order the CD, DVD or MP3 at http://woficc.com

Live What You Are Worth

Proverbs 31 teaches us that a virtuous woman is most desired and searched after by a REAL man of God.

The Proverbs 31 woman can be compared to a diamond. Diamonds are precious, of high cost, valuable, cherished, their pure and durable. Diamonds are capable of withstanding wear and tare.

Just as we take care of the diamonds we own, God takes care of us. We are pure and spotless in God’s eyes.

God designed each of us specifically for a special purpose, just like a jewelry maker designs a diamond.

Ladies it’s time to STOP shaking up, STOP tripping, and know that you HAVE a man who loves you!! JESUS!

Ladies take a second and acknowledge God’s presence and He will whisper sweet nothings to you. He will tell you how much He loves you, how special you are in His eyes, just like His word tells us in the bible.

Stop depending on a man and depend on God! We need to start bragging on Jesus and ALL that He’s done for us!

With Jesus, you don’t have to drop it likes it’s hot, all He wants is for you to spend some fellowship time with Him. (in prayer, praise, worship and getting into His word daily) He wants to know you deeply, not just on the surface when you come to church.

Single ladies, you already have a man who knows how to treat you! God is loving you and taking care of you and when you develop a true relationship with Him and then your man of God comes along, you’ll already know how he should treat you.

Married ladies, make sure you brag on the man who created your man!

We ALL need to know our worth and live our worth everyday!

John 4:10-18

5 Keys To Living What You Are Worth

1. You must have a pure heart and live holy. Matt 5:8. Act and dress like a woman of God at all times.

1 Timothy 2:8-10 Luke 1:58. Live holy to be blessed. Single ladies stop wearing sexy, too tight clothes to church in hopes of finding a man! 3 rules, nothing too tight, too short or too sexy, just don’t wear it!!

2. Be obedient to God, hear and obey His word.

3. Be a woman of compassion.

4. Be patient Hebrews 6:12. Diamonds don’t chance us around the jewelry store saying PICK ME PICK ME, so ladies we need to learn to wait patiently to be picked by our future husband. Also ladies, stay out of these married men’s faces. God won’t tell you that someone else’s husband is yours!

5. Be committed to living a godly lifestyle at all cost. 2 Thess 2:15

**Question: Diamonds, how do you plan to live your worth this year?** Please post your answers below.

Sad Soulful Love Songs, Why They Do More Harm Then Good

Back in college, when I was upset over one of my silly, unproductive and drama filled relationships, I would pop in one of my “I hate men,” CDs and wallow in a pity party. Somehow I thought that  sitting in the dark, listening to Tony Braxton’s The Heat CD (He Wasn’t Man Enough, Just Be A Man About It, I’m Still Breathing or You’ve Been Wrong) was going to somehow heal my hurt, help me to express my pain and give me the strength to go on another day. NOT!!!

There was a time when I did not own more than 3 gospel CD’s though I’ve always called myself a Christian. The majority of my CD collection was secular rap and R & B. I listened to Trina, Lil Kim, Kelis (I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW) and Pink’s first album, along with CD’s that taught me to be angry, bitter, revengeful and distrusting of men. No wonder I was a complete hot mess back then.

When I rededicate my life to Christ in Feb of 2002, I started to change what I read, watched and listened to because I began to understand how negative media was hurting me instead of helping me. As I began to read my bible, attend church more and hang out with other Christians, I discovered how peaceful, productive and fun life really could be without all the drama and negativity. As I stopped dating raggedy guys who only wanted to use me, chew me up and spit me out, my life got better. There was no need to listen to angry songs because I was no longer angry.

I realized that it was my fault for deciding to get in relationships with guys who were not saved and who let me know up front that they were up to no good. Why was I surprised that when I messed with dogs I got bit every time? Instead of continuing in the cycle of unhealthy relationships and mild depression when they didn’t work out, I decided to read books like “I Kiss Dating Goodbye,” by Joshua Harris, God’s Plan For the Single Saint by Pastor Andre Butler, Glass Rose by Pastor MiChelle Butler and Knight In Shining Armor by P.B Wilson. (There are a host of books out their for Christian singles, fiction and non fiction) I dedicated my time to building my relationship with Christ and getting to know myself. Ladies you don’t always have to be connected to a man. You can stand on your own as a single, successful, happy and confident woman. Relationships do not define who you are. It’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and sad.

So the next time you find yourself pissed about your current relationship or the lack their of, instead of listening to “Just Another Sad Love Song” by Toni Braxton, take some time to pray, evaluate if the relationship is worth the drama and seek out godly advice from a woman who you trust. Life is precious. Don’t waste time on people or things that make you unhappy. Make the decision to live a peaceful, happy, drama free life. I encourage you to throw out the CD’s, books or movies that support the “angry bitter lonely woman syndrome” and surround yourself with uplifting, hopeful and holy media. I promise you, you will see a difference in your mood, attitude and life! I am a living breathing testimony of this!

Once I walked away from drama and focused on Christ and accomplishing my goals, I met my husband. He was nothing like the men that I had dated previously THANK GOD. He too wanted to be holy, have a drama free relationship and glorify God in his relationships. He is my blessing and I am his! Thank you God for my good man!!

This One’s Dedicated To My Friends

One of the marks of a good friend is how that friend inspires you and when they do, it inspires you to inspire them too. That’s what friends do. They inspire the best in each other~ Vicki Phipps

All week I’ve been thinking about how blessed I am to have such great friends in my life. Ever since I joined Word of Faith Church in 2002, I have been blessed with a large group of saved friends and to me those friendships are worth more than gold. Like the quote, my friends inspire me to be better and I spire them. It’s so important to have positive, productive and healthy people around you. If you hang around people who have no goals, no morals or values, you will look up and be a lonely sad bum, just like them. The best things my friends and I have in common is that we all love the Lord and are trying daily to walk according to His word. I believe that it is impossible to walk this Christian walk alone. We need to seek out the fellowship and friendship of other local believers and do life together.

I love that my friends and I can have a good, clean, fun time whenever we get together. No one is drinking, fighting or purposely trying to start drama! The other day my husband and I got together with three other couples for a potluck dinner and we had a great time. All the couples were married, Christians, one had just had a baby, another couple is having their baby this month and the other couple are newlyweds. We spent the evening laughing, talking and encouraging/loving on one another. I felt so proud to know these awesome men and women of God and I felt so blessed that God put them in my life. I feel this way about all of my friends, whether we go to the same church or not, they are a blessing to me because they add to my life and I add to theirs. Even though I don’t have a picture of all my friends posted, I still love and thank God for them all!!

Some people  in the world like to believe that young black people don’t go to college, they don’t get married, they aren’t sold out for God and they don’t know how to live healthy lives; well my friends and I are proving the world wrong! God has blessed me with friends who are SAVED AND SOLD OUT doctors, teachers, business owners, therapists, professional athletics, happy stay at home moms, social workers and the list goes on and on. My friends love God, they are getting married and THEN having babies in large numbers every year. I am godly proud of my friends for continually seeking God about their lives and their futures and making their dreams come true. Friends I love you, and this one’s dedicated to you!!!

 

Prayer for my friends

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my friends. Protect them today and always Lord God. Thank you that favor goes before them and prospers their way. Thank you Lord that they are anointed to do whatever you have called them to do. Help them Lord to have peace, patience and joy as they walk holy everyday before you. Continue to lead and guide them in all things. Lord send laborers their way to bless them with whatever they need. Show them how to be the best that they can be. Help them to feel your lovely presence and to desire to seek your face more Lord God. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer for friends. Help me to be the best friend that I can be to each of them, in your name AMEN!!

4 Reasons Why GLEE Is No Longer For Me

After I watched this week’s episode of Glee, I decided that this week was the final straw. I have been feeling uneasy about the show since the new season started and this week’s scenes helped me to remove the show from my DVR rotation. Glee used to be a fun young adult show about children in high school, enjoying the arts and going through teenage challenges. A few episodes into the new season, I decided to no longer support the show because:

1. Their pushing the homosexual agenda tough and I just don’t agree with that lifestyle at all. I don’t believe that people are born gay, I believe they were created in Christ’s imagine like the bible says. I don’t hate people who are gay, I just don’t support that lifestyle nor do I think showing gay or straight make out scenes repeatedly on a young adult show is appropriate. I would never let my children watch a show like GLEE. Which leads me to my second point.

2. The gay and straight make out scenes on GLEE have gotten completely out of hand!! Two female cheerleaders on top of each other in bed making out!? WTH!!  They constantly have episodes about the gay character Kurt and how everyone in the school hates him besides the GLEE kids. Just because someone does not agree with the gay lifestyle does not make them homophobic and it does not mean that they will participate in hate crimes against gays. I don’t love or hate Kurt’s character, I just don’t support his lifestyle. This week a male football player kissed Kurt on the mouth and is afraid to come out of the closet. The majority of the show was about homosexuality and how hard it is to be an out of the closet gay teen. I know these issues sadly are what a lot of our teens are going through and therefore they talk about it on this show BUT I don’t have to subject myself to the gay agenda, nor the young people around me.

3. GLEE is no longer a clean fun show for teens and families. I feel like they often show the teens in bed heavy petting and dry humping each other. The young man Marty in the wheel chair gave his virginity away to the “school slut,” and later felt major regret; that scene really disappointed me too. The fact that he showed regret was fine BUT WHY did that have to be written into the script in the first place? This isn’t 90210! The teens don’t have to sleep around with one another for the show to get ratings do they? In a day in age where teenage pregnancy, STDs and AIDS are ramped, WHY do we need to promote sexuality and promiscuity on young adult shows?

I know that sex sales but man has it gone to a whole other level. Sex isn’t everything and sex outside of marriage is hurtful, disappointing, lonely, confusing, drama filled and DANGEROUS. Sex outside of marriage is NOT glamorous and steamy, esp for teenagers, like the media tries to trick them into believing. There’s nothing glamorous about a dude taking your virginity, getting you pregnant and leaving you high and drive! I’m just saying this happens everyday.

4. The suggestive songs and dance routines continue to get more and more adult. The show takes place in a high school but it feels more like a college show. I know friends who no longer feel comfortable with their younger siblings (12-15) watching the show due to the heavy sexualized scenes and dance routines. I’m not saying the show has to be boring, or promote holiness, God forbid right? (yes I’m being sarcastic) I’m just saying there’s many types of music to sing and creative routines to do without having to constantly grind on each other and rub your bodies. It’s not cute GLEE!!!!

I erased the series recording of this show and a few others off my DVR last night. I’m learning to have boldness and obedience and no longer support things that grieve my spirit and that I know blatantly go against the word of God. If there is a gay character that’s appropriate on a show, that’s ok but when the shows push the gay agenda, repeatedly show gay and straight sex scenes and things get more wild by the episode, those shows will no longer have my support.