5 Signs That Your Not Ready To Get Married

Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: 1. finding the right person and 2. being the right person~ unknown.

Marriage is for life and therefore people need to be ready for it when the day comes. We need to educate ourselves about what marriage truly is, what is means to us and our future spouses and count the cost as to whether we are honestly ready for it. Marriage is not about the wedding day, it’s not about sex or having beautiful children together, it’s about loving, serving, sharing, submitting and walking out the good and bad of life with the same legal partner for life. Marriage is awesome. It’s lots of fun, romance, laughs, good times, great sex etc. Marriage is also frustrating, difficult and challenging at times. Single people please talk to seasoned happily married Christian couples about marriage and find out how they have been blessed to be happy and in love after all these years.

5 Signs That Your Not Ready To Get Married

1. You like to be alone and unaccountable to anyone.

2. The thought of having to share your income and bank accounts with your future spouse makes you feel like your going to be sick.

3. You think submission is a four letter word.

4. Sex is the furthest thing from your list of needs and priorities and  having to meet your future spouses sexual needs frequently sounds frustrating and ridiculous.

5. The thought of having to keep a home (cooking, cleaning, doing laundry) makes you break out in hives.

Of course this list is meant to be some what humourous BUT it’s all true. If you don’t want to cook, clean, submit, get yo sex on often, share finances or your time and space with a mate PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW. It’s ok to stay single, cultivate your career, seek God about your purpose, enjoy hanging with your friends, stack your money and enjoy your life. What’s not okay is having sex outside of marriage and/or dating people for many years that you have no intention of marrying and wasting their time. If your living a holy life and you’re enjoying your singlehood and don’t desire to be married there is nothing wrong with that. But if you feel that your season of dating and eventually marriage is approaching, please get an understanding about marriage and seek God BEFORE saying I DO!

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Why Did I Get Married

 I know lots of people have seen the movies Why Did I Get Married and Why Did I Get Married Too. I saw both movies and thought they were entertaining. I can’t say they changed my life or taught me things about marriage that I hadn’t already heard before. The movies did stress the importance of forgiveness, communication, fidelity, honesty etc. I thought both movies had good messages.

When I ask myself why did I get married, the answers were pretty simple. I wanted to get married because I wanted companionship. I wanted a man of God who was faithful, loving and hard-working and fun. A man who I could share my life with and raise godly children with. I wanted to have a marriage that represented Christ and was an example to others. I wanted a wonderful husband to go to bed with each night and wake up next to each morning. I wanted to get married to a man who would make me better and a man who I would make better. These a few of the my reasons.

It always confuses me when I see married couples who act like their still single. In those situations I ask myself, what was the point of them getting married? If people are going to live like they are roommates who occasionally have sex, why did they get married? Some married folk don’t want to share their time, money, career, ministry, body etc with their spouse. They want to have separate friends and separate lives. The problem is, most people don’t understand what marriage is all about when they say I Do!

Marriage is about becoming one. It’s no longer about whats yours and mine, its ours. We need to share and collaborate and be a team. We are in this together, sink or swim, good times and bad. We are to love, cherish, respect, honor, submit, serve, give, give, and give some more to one another. If you don’t want to do these things PLEASE DONT GET MARRIED!!!

Our church and many other churches provide premarital classes or counseling for their congregation and those in the community. It’s really important that all couples seek counseling BEFORE walking down that aisle and saying I Do! So many topics are explored in premarital classes and each topic is explored from a biblical perspective. We wanted to know what the bible said about marriage, sex, raising children, discipline children, in-laws, husband and wives responsibilities, etc. Our church, Word of Faith, does an awesome job of teaching what the bible says about everyday issues and how we can apply the word and walk out the scriptures in our everyday lives. Were all supposed to live according to the word and allow God into all areas of our lives. He is not just an on Sunday God. We need His guidance in all areas.

I’m so thankful that we had and have godly examples of strong marriages around us, the Bible as our guide and the teachings from our church and singles ministry about the purpose, joys and challenges of marriage. Too many people get married blindly for the wrong reasons and their marriages end quickly. Even Christians are getting divorced at an alarming rate these days.

Messages to Singles

I encourage single folk to ask themselves, why do I want to get married? Ask those around you that are saved and happily married about what they enjoy about marriage and what challenges they have faced. Pray and seek God about what needs to be changed and sharpened on the inside of you regarding your preparation for marriage. There are pros and cons to singlehood, married life and parenthood. Remember to be content in all stages of life and don’t let anything cause you to feel anxious about when your time will come. We must all remember that God knows best!!

Here are some secular quotes about marriage that I thought were sort of interesting. Any thoughts?

Quotes on Marriage from About.com

1) “A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life. – Joseph Addison

2) I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.” – Anna Quindlen, A Short Guide to a Happy Life

3) “Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.” – Amy Bloom

4) Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” – Joanne Woodward

5) “We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.” – Ellen Goodman

6) “Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” – Samuel Johnson

7) “Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.” – Goethe

8 “A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.” – Don Fraser

9) “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

http://honeymoons.about.com/cs/wordsofwisdom/a/marriagequotes.htm

Question: Married folk, what were the top 3 reasons why you got married? Single folk, why do you desire to get married?

What the bible says about marriage:

Ephesians 5:22-33

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.