Does Counseling=Crazy? NO! 10 Reasons To Sit On The Couch

 Many of us (African Americans) think you have to be “touched” or “crazy” to go to therapy.” While it’s true that some people with mental health issues seek therapy, it’s really a service for anyone. Therapy is a paid service that connects you with a trained professional who provides you with the support you need to live a healthier and happier life.

Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/mental-health-articles/why-dont-africanamericans-go-to-therapy-604938.html#ixzz13VzcgfXb
 

In 2002, I saw a counselor for 6 months and that 6 months transformed my life. I was finally ready to confront the pain that I had held onto for two years following the rape in 2000. I was so scared about starting counseling and talking to a complete stranger, that I cancelled my first appointment.  The next week, I was  nervous as I drove to the agency but once I got there and met my counsellor, I felt more at ease. My counselor was compassionate, patient, professional but down to earth, knowledgeable, open-minded and understanding. While she was friendly towards me, she kept professional boundaries and she never self disclosed anything about herself. She challenged me when I was afraid, she encouraged me when I didn’t think I could talk about the hurtful memories and she cheered me on when I had victories! Now that I have my Masters in Counseling and understand what attributes counselors should have, I now understand how truly awesome of a counselor she was.
 
I went into counseling prepared to work towards getting better. I read every book and did every homework assignment. I was on time and I shared honestly from the heart during every session. Outside of counseling, I was developing my relationship with God and I had an active prayer life. I combined the natural with the spiritual and I worked hard. At the end of the 6 months, I was no longer afraid of the classmate who raped me. He still went to my school and I had to be brave enough to not allow his presence to run me off campus. My confidence and self-esteem was high because I knew who I was in Christ; I knew how Christ saw me. I knew that I was not a victim, I was/am a strong, bold, completely healed and free woman of God. I learned to change my thinking, to love myself, to forgive, to trust God, to rely on my support system, to walk in love and to let go of anger and hate.
 
I would strongly recommend anyone who is or has gone through something difficult to seek the help of a counselor. Whether your suffering from past or present abuse/trauma, trying to get over a bad relationship/failed marriage, lost your job, having trouble with your kids, finances or just plan old need to talk to someone about how to reach your goals and make decisons in life, I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a counselor. Counseling is a blessing and it works!! I’m living proof!
 
Positivelypresent.com wrote a great article about why people should seek counseling. Here’s 10 reasons to sit on the couch:

1. You have time set aside just to talk about YOU. 
 

2. You create a safe haven where you can be completely honest. 
 

3. You learn new things about yourself every week (very cool!).

4. You find ways to better relate to the people around you. 

5. You figure out why you do the (sometimes stupid) things you do.

6. You explore the past, which leads to a better present.

7. You open your mind to new ideas and ways of thinking.

8. You accept and love yourself for who you are, flaws included.

9. You deal with the hard stuff you normally avoid like the plague.

10. You wake up one morning and realize, “Finally, I’m really living.”
http://www.positivelypresent.com/2009/04/ive-been-in-therapy—-really-been-in-it—-for-about-six-months-now-this-is-my-fourth-therapist-and-the-only-one-ive-actual.html

My Recent Forgiveness Test: Thank God I’m Free From My Past

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well- Lewis B. Smedes

Yesterday I found out that the man who raped me had gotten married and has a child. Honestly when I saw the pictures through a mutual associate who does not know about the rape, I felt all types of emotions and forgiveness was not one of them. For a few seconds I felt anger and hate trying to rise back up. Who was he to be happy? Does she know what he did to me? What type of father will this rapist become? Even though I had been praying for him throughout the years and actively working to shed the layers of negative emotions and unforgiveness, in those first few moments I was walking in the flesh.

Then I had to remind myself, I can’t wish ill on someone and say I’ve forgiven them. I can’t judge him based on what was done ten years ago. I’m certainly not the woman I was ten years ago. I decided that it was better for me to pray, walk in love and forgiveness towards him verses continuing to stare at his picture and wish evil to come his way. In the past, I forgave him so that I could be free of the bondage that held me captive.Yesterday I made that decision again with God’s strength. Forgiveness is a decision and must be done often for the same event sometimes. 

That night I called a friend who had also survived rape in college. She’s a believer also and she was very encouraging and supportive. She helped me to remember that I am human and it’s okay to have initial negative reactions but it’s the decisions I made quickly following the incident that proved that God had done heart surgery on me and I was strong and delivered from the past.

 God has truly done heart surgery on me! Like the lady in this picture, in 2003, I feel like my heart was literally taken out and replaced with a new one. Back in college, following the years after the rape, I was angry, hateful, bitter, fearful, insecure and confused. I couldn’t say the word rape, I literally crossed out the rapist’s name in every book that I read, I wrote depressing and angry poems and made bad choices in my relationships. When I gave my heart to the Lord fully, I asked Him to heal me of all the pain and make me new. I sought the help of my campus minister and she encouraged me to start going to counseling. I joined Word of Faith in Southfield MI, started receiving life changing messages about God’s love, healing, faith and I learned to have an intimate relationship with God. Years later, I know that I am healed and restored and I refuse to let this recent incident take me back. Back to the horrible place that I once was. God has given me a new heart, a new start and I wont allow the past, the young man or the devil to destroy all that I have worked so hard in God to overcome.

To the man who changed my life forever I say the following: I pray God’s mercy, grace, correction, protection, peace, comfort, restoration and salvation for you. I pray you are or do become the man who God has created you to be. I pray you learn what is means to be a godly faithful, nonviolent husband and a godly devoted father. I pray you make better choices and live a holy life in front of your son. I pray you never ever put another person through the things you put me through. I pray you seek God for forgiveness and you learn to forgive yourself. I pray God’s blessing over your family. In Jesus name amen.

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Forget Regret or Life Is Yours To Miss

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss” Jonathan Larson

Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.
Author: Katherine Mansfield 

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed-door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

2 Cor 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death

Regret is a horrible feeling. No one likes to think about “what if” or “what could have been.” Since we can not change the past and the decisions that we have made, we need to press to work harder, be wiser, seek God more often and follow His lead in every area of our lives. Don’t let regret of the past rob you of your future. We all need to learn from our mistakes, try our very best not to repeat them and move on in wisdom and peace.

I’m sure everyone who reads this post can name 5 things they wish they had not done in life, whether big or small things, because no one is perfect. Even though we wish we would have made better choices, it’s more productive to walk in God’s peace, grace, mercy, love, comfort and favor today, and let the past be the past.

Confessions for me today:

1. Lord, with your grace and guidance, I will be a better Child of God, wife, daughter, sister, coworker, supervisor, counselor etc

2. I will give each task today 100% and walk in a spirit of excellence.

3. I will not hold grudges against others or myself.

4. I will walk in God’s mercy, hope and peace and not live in regret.

We know that today is a good day. God is good. As long as we have breathe in our lungs, we have a opportunity to do better and be better. We will be hopeful and think about positive things. We will trust God and walk in His ways. We cast down fear, regret, anxiety and depression in Jesus name, Amen!

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phil 3:13-14 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Startling Beauty: Rape, Pregnancy and Restoration

Rape takes too much BUT I, for one, have gained more than I have lost. I have been startled by beauty in places it doesn’t belong. I see it on a bloodied cross, and bitterness loses its power. I see it on the face of the man who keeps his vows to me and fear releases its grip- Startling Beauty My Journey From Rape To Restoration by Heather Gemmen. 

This picture is of Heather and her daughter Rachel. Rachel was conceived from rape but was given life and love by her mother and her mother’s husband.

I read Heather Gemmen’s testimony of rape, pregnancy and restoration at a time in my life when I needed it the most. I was raped 10 years ago but it wasn’t until 2 years after the rape that I began to acknowledge what had occurred and began to remember certain details. I sought spiritual guidance and began seeing a counselor but I was still searching. I was researching for answers, hope and comfort. I found all of that and more in Heather’s book and a few other testimony books. It helped me to know what I was not alone, I wasn’t crazy and that I was going to make it!! 

Here are a few excerpts from an interview with Heather about her book and testimony. To read the entire article please checkout this link http://www.calvin.edu/publications/spark/2005/summer/gemmen_heather.htm

“Rape,” she wrote in Startling Beauty, “is ugliness at its basest form. Rape destroys innocence and cultivates bitterness. It steals security and extends fear. It kills hope and fosters shame. Rape leaves no room for beauty.”

What followed the actual incident was a nightmare scenario: Gemmen endured the post-rape investigation, isolated in her terror and pain and relying on the prayers of friends to see her through the crisis. And then she found out that she was pregnant from the rape.

Yet Startling Beauty, though it admits of “ugliness,” “destruction,” and “bitterness,” is a story that does leave room for beauty. Gemmen writes with considerable candor about the conflicts in her marriage, the stillbirth of a third son prior to the rape, the wreck of her friendships, her struggle as a Christian with taking an (ultimately ineffective) post-rape abortifacient, and her painful discovery that she — a person committed to racial reconciliation and living in a diverse neighborhood — harbored powerful racist feelings.

But Gemmen also writes about the restorative power of God’s grace in her life. Her husband, Steve, became her chief support. “He was so amazing through that process. He was so strong even though this was as much an attack on him as it was on me,” she said. Her friends, family and church family also rallied around. And Gemmen was emotionally restored to the degree that both she and Steve eagerly accepted the unexpected baby, Rachael, as a gift from God.

I want to share some information that I learned about rape and abortion. In no way am I being insensitive or pushing my views on anyone. I am 100% pro-life in all situations. If I had gotten pregnant when I was raped, I would have a 10-year-old child now. The thought of that brings so many emotions to my mind. I thank God for His mercy and grace. I told myself back then, if you’re pregnant, you’re keeping the baby. Thank God I did not have to make that decision, I know thats it a horrible one to have to make.

**Please read the information below and share your thoughts on here and not FB please.**

Pro-life Views about women being pregnant from rape:

For too long rape has been used to justify abortion and side-step the real issue: is it ever right to take an innocent human life?
No matter how unfair or horrible a situation might be, we can never justify killing another innocent human being to try to alleviate mental or emotional anguish.

It is unjust for a woman to be pregnant from a rapist, but it is a greater injustice to kill the blameless child. Unfortunately, in this case, injustice cannot be avoided. We must do our best to redeem the situation – forgiving the guilty, and helping the innocent.
As far as the well-being of the rape victim, the emotional trauma she’s been through is not lessened by abortion – it’s only compounded by another experience of violence. One study states, “In the majority of these cases, the pregnant victim’s problems stem more from the trauma of rape than from the pregnancy itself.”4
We must extend God’s love for the rape victim, offering her the compassion and support she so desperately needs. In the rare cases when pregnancy occurs, that support and reassurance is all the more vital. But we must also expose the lies that tell a woman who abortion is the easy way out. In the words of one experienced counselor, “Abortion does not un-rape a woman.”5
Written by Sharon Bennett Researched by Bob Miller

Statics about pregnancy occurring after rape:

Despite what you may have heard, pregnancy due to rape is extremely rare. A one-year study in Washington, DC, showed only one pregnancy in more than 300 rape cases. A similar Chicago study revealed no pregnancies resulting from rape in the past nine years.1Overall, less than 1% of the women who are raped become pregnant.2 Only one out of every 25,000 abortions is performed because of a pregnancy occurring from rape. More than 98% of all abortions are done simply because the mother does not want to have the baby.3

http://www.lastdaysministries.org/Mobile/default.aspx?group_id=1000008837&article_id=1000008605

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

No Means No: Tips To Stay Safe On A Date

In the U.S date rape is committed every two minutes. Wikihow.com lists tips to stay safe and prevent date rape. Every woman needs to know how to have fun but stay safe and be wise while having a night on the town. Rape is never a woman’s fault, no matter what she wears or where she goes. No means no!! We as women need to have a plan and be alert when we are out alone in the community. Please review the tips below and keep them in mind the next time you are out on a date. For Christian women, always pray God’s protection over yourself before you go on a date and ALWAYS listen to the Holy Spirit and seek peace. If you don’t have peace in your spirit, don’t go. If you get a troubled feeling and your out, get up and go home or call someone to get you. Never second guess yourself.

 Tips 

  • Trust your instincts! If you feel uncomfortable in any way DO NOT TRY TO NORMALIZE IT! Tell your date you are sick and about to vomit, or get out of the situation some way. Never doubt your instincts or say you are misjudging him/her. Many look back and realize they had uncomfortable feelings before something bad happened.
  • Keep your wits about you- stay sober.
  • If all else fails drink water, or mix coke and sprite to look like a drink.
  • Go to parties with a sober friend or a designated observer who is not drinking, who can watch and protect you.
  • Always carry your own car keys to get away and use as weapons.
  • Bring emergency cash for a cab ride home and don’t spend it. You may need it for other situations, like being dumped on the roadside or something. If in a foreign country, always possess the name, front desk phone number and your hotel address, (but never your room number) written in a language the cabbie will know. Leave information about where you’ll be, with whom, and when you should return to your room- and how someone might find you.
  • Be cautious of large punch bowls or drinks served by others as drugs are easily slipped into them.
  • Open your drinks yourself, and don’t share drinks.
  • If they have any sexually oriented items that make you feel uncomfortable, don’t say anything. Just get out of there!
  • Don’t go out with strangers.
  • Call your parents if you are stranded somewhere- or a friend who will help. What’s the worst thing you parents can do compared to being raped, killed, or any other unfortunate things? Never feel that you can’t call a parent or a close friend.
  • Place several people that love you and would answer and respond to your calls on speed dial. Then, if you are ever in a compromising situation, just hit one number and call without anyone knowing.
  • If the worst should happen, get to the nearest emergency room immediately. Do not bathe, change your clothes or wait until morning. This could compromise or destroy evidence that you were raped and make it much more difficult for the authorities to build a case against your assailant. Physical evidence is your greatest weapon against the person who hurt you.
  • Do not wait to tell someone what happened to you. Do so immediately. It can be extremely painful to recount the incident so soon after it happened, but the longer you wait, the greater the danger of it becoming a “he said/she said” situation, especially if your assailant is famous or well-respected in the community.

Warnings

  • If he/she starts touching tell them forcefully to stop and walk away, preferrably to a place where people are.
  • Always stay alert and aware of your situation.
  • In some cultures, Western women are perceived as “easy.” This creates many problems for traveling women, like an unexpected danger because you may not have done anything that you perceive as provocative. To be safe, NEVER ASSUME THAT THERE IS A NON-SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN- no matter what age- AND ACT ACCORDINGLY. In many cultures, men and women are never casual, asexual friends and if you assume there is a sexual undercurrent (even if it is the last thing you’d imagine) prepare to protect yourself.
  • If in a group, look out for each other and don’t let group members wander off alone or with someone unknown to the group.
  • If the offender/rapist is trying to touch or assault you, put your hand in front of you and recite “STOP IT” or kick them in their groin. Never throw a punch unless necessary, it may give easy access to assault you even more.

To read more of this article and review 17 tips on how to prevent date rape go to http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Date-Rape 
From National Studies Of College Women 
* 84% of women who were raped knew their assailants. 
* 57% of rapes occurred on a date. 
* 25% of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if: the women asks the man out; if the man pays for the date, or the woman goes back to the man’s room after the date. 
* 33% of males surveyed said they would commit rape if they definitely could escape detection. 
* 84% of male students who had committed acts that clearly met the legal definition of rape said what they had done was definitely not rape. 
* 75% of male and 55% of female students in an occurrence of date rape had been drinking or using drugs. 
* Only a quarter to a third of women whose sexual assaults met the legal definition of rape considered themselves rape victims.

Take No Thought About Tomorrow

Today I was reading my bible before work and I was led to read Luke 12. The chapter speaks about not worrying about life’s issues and putting our trust in God. The entire chapter is powerful but I focused on verses 22-32. Holy Spirit was reminding me that it is easy to praise God, sing and dance around the sanctuary on Sundays but the real test of my faith comes during the week when work is stressful, my bank account is lower than I need it to be and life’s issues start hitting me left and right. As Christians we need to learn to truly trust in God. No matter what is going on, good, bad, pretty or ugly, God is good and faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us. When things get tight, lets not forget what we have been taught at church and read for ourselves in the word of God. During tough times, we are to remind ourselves of the countless things that He has done for us and remember that our current situation is no different. If God did it for you once, He WILL do it for you again!
I have been believing in God for a few things for a while now and sometimes it gets hard to remain patient. We live in a right now society, we want everything right away and we get upset if we have to wait. With God, things don’t work that way. Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. After I pray, I have to give God praise and thanksgiving because I know He’s working it out.
Something else I was reminded of was on my worse day, I am better off than many other people. There is always someone doing worse than you. Sometimes we think, “if only I had this amount of money, car, job, food in the fridge, clothes in my closet.” You may not have the wardrobe that you want but you aren’t walking around naked or in rages! You may not have money for restaurant food or even the food that you have a taste for at the grocery store, but your cabinets and fridge are not completely empty. God is faithful and He reminded me to be grateful and content where I am at. When we show ourselves faithful over what He has blessed us with, He rewards us with more.
Lastly, remember that a seed will meet any need!! Whatever you’re in need of, take time and sow that. Sow money into someone who has less than you, give groceries to someone who has less food than you. If your lonely, go visit someone who does not get visitors often. Lets take the attention off of us and our needs and sow into the lives of others. God is faithful!! Psalm 37:25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.
Luke 12:22-32
Do Not Worry

 22Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

 27“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

 32“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Rape Protective Measures: Be Alert, Be Aware and Be Wise

Rape Protective Measures 

   

Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.  

  

There are 525,600 minutes in a non-leap year. That makes 31,536,000 seconds a year. Take 31,536,000 and divide it by 248,300 and it comes out to 1 sexual assault every 127 seconds or about 1 every 2 minutes (this information was taken from (http://rainn.org)

1 out of every 3 women have been raped. I am a rape survivor and unfortunately I know over forty other women who have suffered rape, attempted rape, sexual abuse or incest. I want to educate, encourage and empower women on what to do to assist them with being safe in their communities and what to do if they experience attempted rape or rape. I know this is a tough topic and it makes people uncomfortable BUT ignoring the issue won’t make it go away.   

When I was assaulted, I was in shock and had not clue what to do to fight off my classmate or what to do after I got away. Before the rape I was ignorant regarding the daily safety measures that I could take to keep myself safe from potential danger. Please ladies don’t walk around blind and ignorant. Read this information and utilize whatever info in it is useful to you. 

   

  

In NO WAY am I trying to: 

   

*Plant fear in women’s heads.  

  

*Am I suggesting that every women will be a victim of rape *Am I saying rape is 100% preventable. Rape is never the victims fault. No matter what you wear, where you go, or what you say, no one has the right to victimize you.   

We are to walk in wisdom, peace and protection by the blood of Jesus. There are things we as women should know and do to keep ourselves aware and safe. Please read this article and educate yourself. It is a secular article but majority of the info I found to be very helpful.   

This pamphlet on rape protective measures was prepared by Dean of Students Office for Women’s Resources and Services McKinley Health Education Dept. University Police and the University of Illinois. 

   

Rape is a violent crime, an invasion, a frightening experience.  

  

Rape affects all women, no matter what their age, race or economic status. All women are potential victims of sexual assault.   

By being aware, a woman can reduce the likelihood of becoming a rape victim. This does not mean all rapes can be prevented.   

Rapists commit rape — NOT VICTIMS.   

Psychological Preparedness   

1. Accept the fact that you are a potential rape victim. Many women operate under the. illusion “it will never happen to me. It may. 

   

2. Educate yourself concerning rape prevention tactics.  

  

3. Become familiar with community rape prevention and counseling. 

   

4. Become aware of locations and situations where rape is more likely to occur and avoid them, or take precautions.  

  

In a Dating/Friend Situation  
 

ask the person to leave. Don’t worry about hurt feelings. assertively1. The majority of rapes that occur are termed “acquaintance rapes” – the rapist and victim know one another. Trust your feelings. If you become uncomfortable in a situation, 

   

  

 

   

  

2. If possible, let a friend or roommate know who you are with and where you will be. Leave an address and phone number when possible.       
 

    

 

   

  

  
In Your Car   
1. Keep windows and doors locked.        

  

2. If you should be followed into your driveway, stay in your car with the doors locked. Sound horn to get the attention of neighbors or scare the other driver off.        

  

3. When parking at night, select a place that will be well-lit when returning to the car.      

  

4. Always make sure the car is locked, and have the keys ready when returning to the car.           

 5. Check interior of car before getting in.            

 On the Street  

1. Be observant of things around you. If someone is following you, go to the nearest house or store.           

2. Walk near the curb and avoid passing close to shrubbery, dark doorways and other places of concealment.           

  

  

3. DO NOT HITCHHIKE.     

4. Avoid short cuts through parking lots and alleys.         

5. Walk with a friend if at all possible. Don’t walk alone.          

6. If a car approaches you and you feel threatened, scream and run in the direction opposite of the one the car is going.    

  

7. When arriving home by taxi or private auto, ask the driver to wait until you are inside.         

  

8. Don’t jog in secluded areas.           

 

9. Know the location of the special emergency phones campus.      

  

In Your Home     

1. The best lock cannot function if you fail to lock it. Be sure to keep your doors locked.          

2. All windows should have secure locks and frames.         

  

3. All entrances and garages should be well-lit.       

  

4. Never open the door after a knock. Require the person to give their name. In the case of service persons ask for proper I.D. and refuse entrance if you feel uneasy.        

  

If You Are Sexually Assaulted   

  

     

The best resistance you can use against an attacker is your common sense. Think! Don’t panic. The most important element to remember is that you are not trying to fight the attacker, but are attempting to divert the person long enough to get away. Always look for a way to escape.         

    

If the attacker has a weapon, use your common sense.          

Fighting against it could be dangerous.      

1. Stay calm. Do not do anything that may upset the attacker.      
  
 2. Try to convince the person to put the weapon down.       

3. Talk to your attacker, show sympathy and understanding.          

4. Make the attacker see you as an individual, not as an object.          

 If the attacker is unarmed, you may be able to scare, distract or injure the person enough to make your escape. 

1. Scream “FIRE,” “POLICE,” or create a disturbance that will attract attention.            

2. Assert yourself and fight back if you can do so safely.            

3. Break away and run toward areas with people.          

4. Be observant so that you will be able to remember and identify the assailant.       

 

5. Report the incident to the police as soon as possible.        

  

 

Checklist for Victims of Sexual Assault   

  

     

 You may want to call the Rape Crisis Line () for instructions and support.         

 1. Report the crime immediately to the police.           

   

 2. Do not shower, douche, or change clothing.         

  

    

3. Have a medical exam and internal gynecological exam as soon as possible. A delay in time may destroy evidence.       

     

a) Semen smears must be taken by a clinician.        

    

 

   

  

 b) Inform clinician of exact acts committed upon you and have the clinician note any medical evidence of them.        

     

 

  c) Clinician should note any bruises or injuries bleeding, lacerations, etc.) external or internal.          

     

 

    

 

   

  

d) Have clinician test for venereal diseases (and pregnancy later, if relevant).         

     

4. Do not disturb the scene of the assault.          

    

5. Inform police of all details of attack, however intimate, and of anything unusual you may have noted about the attacker. Remember what the person said and how it was said. It may lead to the arrest of the assailant.           

   

6. Show police any external bruises or injuries, however minor, resulting from the attack.            

  

7. Police may request your clothes for purpose of evidence.             

8. Inform the police if you remember anything that was not previously reported.