How To Avoid Falling For The Down Low Brotha

While watching Oprah this week, it was revealed that yet another celebrity couples marriage ended because of the husband coming out. Fran Drescher and her husband Peter Marc Jacobson got a divorce after he came out after 21 years of marriage. Years later, the couple is now comfortable with their situation and decided to make a seemingly cute and funny sitcom about a wife, her ex husband and his lover. Yeah, sounds hilarious doesn’t it? NOT unfortunately there have been several celebrity couples over the years who have announced divorce for this very same reason, Terry McMillian being one of them. As we watch talk shows and read articles about more and more husbands mainly, coming out of the closet, we may tend to get jaded and desensitized by the seriousness of the situation. Down low men lead to women getting AIDS and families being destroyed. Now to answer the question, how to know if your man is on the down low.

When I researched ways to tell if your man was on the down low, I found many silly questions for women to go off of. Checkout these sample questions.

1. Does he complement other men

2. Does wear tight pants

3. Does he hang out with his male friends a lot

4. Does he enjoy grooming himself excessively

Those examples are silly because men that hide their true sexuality have been doing it for years and are good at it. Just because a man  does one or two of those things above does not mean that he is gay. I do not believe that women should have to go around like detectives trying to figure out what  men have the “gay signs,” and which ones don’t.

 The answer is simple, all ladies need to do is the following to increased their cases of not getting involved with a down low man:

 1. Pray and seek God BEFORE exclusively dating a man. If you don’t have peace in your mind and heart about a particular guy, don’t force it, just let him go, there are other men out there. Just because a handsome man ask you out does not mean you have to go. Take a moment to check your spirit. Taking time to slow down and pray could possibly save you time and your life.

2. Date for a long enough period of time so that you two really feel like you know each other before getting super serious. Now a days many women just want to hook up with someone and not be lonely. When we as women take that attitude we are cheating ourselves from a special time of courtship and a serious time of dating investigation. Every man who smiles at you and spends a little money on you does not deserve your heart or your panties. Slow down, do plenty of talking/interviewing and less physical contact. Premature intimacy clouds people’s vision and tends to leave them open for drama, hurt and pain.

3. Be wise while dating, pay attention to the signs and listen to the Holy Spirit. Ladies pay attention to the things your man is saying and doing.  Spend time in prayer asking your Heavenly Father if this man and relationship is a blessing or a curse. Don’t ignore warning signs of any kind. Who cares if he is sexy, rich and ready to carry you into the sun set, if he isn’t right for you, it will only be temporary, hurtful and disappointing. Being single isn’t a curse and it’s better to be alone, happy and drama free, then miserable and suspicious while dating. 

 It really angers me to know that so many men are living double lives and their lies, when found out, destroy their families and potentially kill their women. 82% of women in America with AIDS are African American women. This is another HUGE reason why we as women can not afford to not pray, interview, close our legs and be wise when it comes to dating. It doesn’t pay to be promiscuous. There are all types of diseases out there and some can kill you. Ladies have standards, pay attention, don’t be so quick to attach yourself to a man who you don’t stop to see what may be in front of your face. I’m not saying that if you pray long and hard and date a man for 2 years, there’s no chance that he will come out ten years later and say he’s gay. What I am saying is when we follow Christ and ask Him to be our conductor, our chances of falling into the devils traps are much slimmer. With Christ we can’t go wrong. He ALWAYS has our best interest at heart and He will always warn us, the question is, are we listening???