Why PDA is Good For You’re Children To See

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I read a cool quote today that said, “Be great parents, gross out your kids.” The pic showed a mother and a father kissing. I agree with the quote and the picture made me smile. My parents have always been affectionate and loving towards on another infront of my brother and I. I grew up in a loving, peaceful, affectionate family and for that I am truly grateful to God and my parents.

My husband and I have been blessed to provide the same type of environment for our daughter (soon to be two daughters). Our daughter Elyssa just turned two years old on April 1. On her birthday we were taking pics with her and she pushed our faces together so that my husband and I could kiss. I thought the moment was very special because she was grinning from ear to ear. At the tender age of two, our daughter knows that her mommy and daddy holding hands or kissing is very special and to be celebrated. Sometimes we’re all sitting together on the couch and she’ll push our hands together so that we can hold hands either as a family or just he and I together. She walks around the house saying “kissin” and smiling. She likes it when we laugh and play together or turn on music and dance.

We have the peace of God in our home and for that I am grateful. We pray, play gospel music and keep a calm atmosphere so that our daughter feels safe, secure and loved. It’s important for children to see their parents happy, communicating appropriately and showing each other love and affection. Of course my husband and I have disagreements but we talk them out or table them until we’re both able to talk through them effectively. It’s important to us to be role models for our daughter becuase we know she’s watching us. When she and her sister Elaina (arriving in 8 weeks or less) get older, they will be grossed out by mommy and daddy’s public displays of affection and thats ok. I will show Elyssa the pic that we took on her 2nd birthday and reminder of how she thought her parent’s kissing was the cutest thing.

Forgiveness is the Sweetest Revenge

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge- Isaac Friedmann

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you- Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future~ Paul Boese

Forgive or relive~ unknown

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” Hannah Moore

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong~ Ghandi

We achieve inner health only through forgiveness-the forgiveness of not only others but of ourselves~ Joshua Liebman

Ladies take back your life! Don’t give those that have hurt you the pleasure of keeping you insecure, depressed, angry and afraid. Forgiveness is for you. When you forgive you get free, you get to take your life back, to smile again, to live a happy life  and to have joy and peace of mind. You deserve to be free, to be happy and to enjoy fulfilling relationships with others. You can’t be in a healthy place if you’re not walking in forgiveness. You’ll always have the chains around your hands and feet, the weight of the painful past will always hold you down. Its time to BREAK FREE!!!!!

Forgive those who have hurt you, give the pain over to the Lord. Ask Him to heal your broken heart, to help you see yourself how He sees you. The bible tells us to cast our burdens unto Jesus because He cares for us! The bible also tells us that God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He is waiting and willing to restore you to your rightful place in Him. Please make the decision today to seek guidance from a friend, family member, church member, pastor, counselor, social worker or your doctor. Talk to someone and start your healing process. Forgiveness may seem impossible today BUT trust me, as each day goes by, the decision gets easier and easier. It’s harder to live in pain and loneliness of unforgiveness, than it is to forgive and be free. You may never forget and that’s okay, but at least you will have your joy and peace back. True forgiveness says “I will not allow the things you’ve done to me to hold me captive any longer. I forgive you, I wish you well and I’m moving on.” You don’t have to be best friends with that person, talk to them on the phone and hang out. Forgiveness means you will not speak or think ill of them, you will not seek revenge on them, but instead you will pray for them and ask God to heal you both of the past. God is faithful. He will walk with you every step of the way, just trust Him and obey!!

How To NOT Give Your Neighbor A Piece of Your Mind, Fist & Neck

Morning world! Things have been challenging for me lately and I needed to take some time and read some scriptures on loving my neighbor and having mercy. When those around us at our jobs, in our neighborhoods, churches or own homes manage to get under our skin, as Christians we MUST tell our flesh to shut up and start meditating our love scriptures. Just because those around us may be acting up, doesn’t give us the license to “show our butts!!” I had to remind myself today while driving to work “these people know I’m a Christian, even though I’m frustrated at how things have been going in the office, I can’t lose my witness, it’s not worth it! This too shall pass!” I know the Holy Spirit is with me, leading and guiding me but I will only be able to hear his voice if I am in the spirit and not the flesh.

I just want to encourage you today if you are facing challenging situations that tempt you to step out of the spirit and into the flesh. As tempting as it is to let someone have it, it isn’t worth it. God won’t be pleased and it will only make the situation worse. More people will be blessed by you responding correctly than you going off on someone. 

5 Ways To Walk In Love

1. Show compassion because love is patient and longsuffering with others.

2. Celebrate the successes of others because love is not envious.

3. Promote others welfare above your own because love does not insist on having its own way or rights.

4. Refuse to be vindictive or retaliatory because love is forgiving.

5. Do not be easily provoked, but control your impulses because love is slow to anger.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5740072_walk-love.html

Checkout these scriptures about loving your neighbor and the parable about the ungrateful servant. Let us all examine our hearts and make sure we are walking in love, forgiveness and mercy. May God’s peace and wisdom be with us all this week and always!

Leviticus 19:18 Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Luke 10:27 He answered: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”

Matt 5:7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matt 18:21-35 The parable of the ungrateful servant

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23-35 The servant owed his master 10,000 talents. He begged for mercy and it was granted unto him. Then the servant came across another servant who owed him a hundred denarii. He began to chock the servant and demand that he give him his money. The servant begged for mercy and patience from the man but he refused. Other servants near by saw what happened and they went and told the master. The master called the servant wicked for begging for mercy and receiving it but not granting another that same mercy. In anger the master through the servant in jail to be tortured until he was able to pay back his debt. Matt 18:35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

Sistas Positively Affecting Sistas

Many women in the African American community are struggling. Struggling to know their purpose, their value/worth, to understand what real love is,  to be accepted and live productive lives. Many AA women have made celebrities and the women in the videos their role models and this much change. I went to visit a 22-year-old single mom with four kids. She had a few female friends over and all the ladies had their hair done, gold around their necks and designer clothes on. The family lives in poverty. I am not saying that people with low-income can not have nice things, but often times AA women spend more money on hair, nails, jewelry, clothes, shoes and make up than anything else. This must change. Our value should never be in how cute we look or what possessions we have. Our value isn’t in how great our bodies look or how many men are following us around. Our value is who are we in Christ; that we are healthy mind, body and soul, that we’re happy, determined and successful. We are more than just baby makers or women with big butts. We are creative,  smart, worthy of love and healthy relationships. We are strong, survivors, teachers, lawyers, doctors, social workers, stay at home mothers, business owners, ministers of the gospel etc.

To my Christian sistas, the next time you see that same prostitute that passes by your job everyday, the young girl in your neighborhood that dresses too fast, a single mother on your job that you know is struggling to raise her six children all alone, your aunt who struggles with drug addiction, your girl who fell away from church or your sister who just dropped out of school, pray and follow the Holy Spirit as to how to love on that woman. Give her a smile, some encouraging words, a hug, tell her Jesus loves her, you love her, it will be ok, ask if you can pray with her, invite her to church, treat her to lunch and just be a listening ear, whatever Holy Spirit tells you to do.

Christians are the salt of the earth. The bible says the world will know we are Christians by our love. We must love on those around us. We must let our light shine. We must live a sold out for Christ lifestyle so that the women around us can know that they too can have peace, joy, a great life in Christ. I give  God ALL the glory that my life is a positive example to others. I am blessed to be a 29-year-old black woman who loves the Lord, has a husband who loves the Lord, we serve at our church together, we have a happy marriage, we were blessed to plan our pregnancy, we own a home in the suburbs, I have two college degrees and we both have careers that we love. Ask me if ten years ago I would have thought I would be this blessed, no! God is good and when I completely surrender my life to Him, He restored me and continues to mold me into the woman who He has called me to be. I want my life to encourage others. To let them know that if God did it for me, He will do that and more for them.

Ladies today’s message is to walk in love, be led as to how the Holy Ghost wants you to mentor and reach out to those around you and to let your lifestyle be a witness of God’s goodness and faithfulness to others. The world needs us. We can’t afford to be half stepping, fake, worthless Christians. Our families need us, our coworkers, neighbors and those that we come into contact with daily on Facebook and Twitter. People all over need hope and we know the one who has all that they need, JESUS!!!

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

My 10 Yr Survivor Testimony: Victim to Victor

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked. “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
Anonymous
Like the butterfly, each of us has to let go of our past and be willing to step out, be transformed and made new. Letting go is the 1st step.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – Author Unknown

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” – Ann Landers

Today is an awesome day for me. Today marks the ten year anniversary of the sexual assault that I SURVIVED. The devil picked the wrong one to mess with! Those first three years I was a mess, BUT GOD!! I have spent the last seven years walking as a victor and NOT a victim!! The number seven means completion and over the last seven years, I”ve allowed God to prepare me for the work that He is doing in me now and is about to do through me. I’m ready Lord! Use me, send me, speak through me to set other’s free!!

I want to encourage people today to not allow your past to haunt you and cause you to be a victim and not a victor. You can’t change what has been done to you or what you did to yourself. You must give your hurt, pain, shame, confusion and disappointments over to God. I strongly encourage you to seek professional guidance to assist you in your journey towards healing, victory and success.

Victim is defined as 1. One who is harmed or killed by another. A person who is tricked, swindled, or taken advantage of.

Victor is defined as one who defeats an adversary; the winner in a fight, battle, contest, or struggle.

I used to see myself as a victim. I used to have low self-esteem and lots of anger, hate and fear in my heart. I allowed the person who took advantage of me to rule my mind, emotions and my life. Out of fear I would not go certain places or be around certain people, because I was angry on the inside, I rarely had peace of joy. What he did to me was bad enough, but I had no right to give him the rest of my life to ruin. I made a choice to get seek God’s healing power, a minister, a counselor, my family and friends. I decided to take my life back, to get strong AND to help others who had gone through what I had. I made a choice to FIGHT to become a victor and never again a victim!

The road to recovery was one day at a time. I was very depressed when my journey first started because I had to allow myself to feel all the pain of the assault that I had blocked out and ignored as best I could for two years. Each time I met with my counselor, did a homework assignment about my experience, read my bible, pray out loud and talk to God about what had happened, I took the power out of the attackers hands and put it back in my own.

I encourage you today to face your fears of the past. To not walk around with the baggage of yesterday, last year, ten years ago etc. You deserve to be happy, healthy, healed emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally, physically, successful, victorious and FREE. Yes they hurt you, they lied, abused you, mistreated you, lied on you, took advantage of you BUT GOD BUT GOD BUT GOD BUT GOD BUT GOD!! He’s bigger, He’s able, He’s faithful and He’s waiting with open arms!!

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Matthew 11:27-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Isaiah 61:3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Matthew 6:14-15 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

A Testimony of Overcoming The Aftermath of Abortion

To continue the theme of restoration week, I wanted to share a woman’s powerful testimony of overcoming the shame of having an abortion at a young age. I like to change the names of the testimonies that I share from others because it’s not about who I’m talking about but the awesome things God did for them. I will call today’s woman Sarah. 

If you or someone you is suffering from an abortion, please seek counsel and guidance from a local church and/or pro-life center near you. They will counsel you, pray with you and provide you with resources such as support groups for women who desire healing from abortion.

When Sarah found herself pregnant as a freshman in college, she panicked. She was afraid of what her parents would say and how a baby would affect her future plans. She and her boyfriend did not grow up in Christian homes but they knew deep down that abortion was wrong. The couple reluctantly went through with the procedure, not know ing that their lives would never be the same.

Sarah and her partner got saved shortly after the abortion. They started going to church and learning about God together. The couple ended up getting married and began their new life in Christ together, but the past still haunted them, especially Sarah. Sarah often wondered how God could truly love her because she had killed her innocent baby. Sarah found herself feeling depressed, ashamed and unworthy of love often. It pained her husband to see what she was going through and therefore he often prayed for her and supported her the best ways he knew how.

Sarah continued to go to church and learn about God’s mercy, grace, love and forgiveness. She knew that she needed to forgive herself because God had long ago forgiven her because she had repented of her sin. Sarah knew that she was not walking in God’s peace and joy and she was only punishing herself, which was not God’s will. Sarah felt as though one of the first steps to forgiving herself was confessing her sin to some of her close family members. After sharing with them what she had done and how God was healing her, Sarah felt a weight lift from her shoulders and her healing process was truly able to start.

To help release the negative feelings of shame, Sarah went on a personal mission to share her testimony with some of the young girls at her church who were considering becoming sexually active, were currently active or who found themselves pregnant and scared. Sarah also joined a Christian support group for women who wanted healing from past abortions. The group met for a few weeks and reviewed home work assignments about restoration from abortion, they reviewed what the bible says about forgiveness, comfort, God’s love and mercy. The ladies also supported each other by talking through their past experiences. Sarah found great comfort and restoration through attending the group, so much so that she became a group counselor after she completed the sessions.

Sarah story is definitely a But God story. The devil thought he had her, BUT GOD! The after effects of the abortion could have ruined her self-esteem, her relationships, robbed her of her joy, peace, self-respect to the point that she could have ruined her own life because of her inner turmoil. But God sent someone to witness to her and her husband, they got saved, married, hooked up with a church and they began receiving the life changing word of God. She began sharing her testimony with her family and church members as a way to stump on the devils head and she even located a support group to help seal the deal on her restoration. Now whenever the devil tries to get in her ear and speak negativity in doubt, she kicks him off her shoulder and stumps on his head because she knows who she is and whose she is! A RESTORED CHILD OF THE KING!!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Forget Regret or Life Is Yours To Miss

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss” Jonathan Larson

Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.
Author: Katherine Mansfield 

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed-door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

2 Cor 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death

Regret is a horrible feeling. No one likes to think about “what if” or “what could have been.” Since we can not change the past and the decisions that we have made, we need to press to work harder, be wiser, seek God more often and follow His lead in every area of our lives. Don’t let regret of the past rob you of your future. We all need to learn from our mistakes, try our very best not to repeat them and move on in wisdom and peace.

I’m sure everyone who reads this post can name 5 things they wish they had not done in life, whether big or small things, because no one is perfect. Even though we wish we would have made better choices, it’s more productive to walk in God’s peace, grace, mercy, love, comfort and favor today, and let the past be the past.

Confessions for me today:

1. Lord, with your grace and guidance, I will be a better Child of God, wife, daughter, sister, coworker, supervisor, counselor etc

2. I will give each task today 100% and walk in a spirit of excellence.

3. I will not hold grudges against others or myself.

4. I will walk in God’s mercy, hope and peace and not live in regret.

We know that today is a good day. God is good. As long as we have breathe in our lungs, we have a opportunity to do better and be better. We will be hopeful and think about positive things. We will trust God and walk in His ways. We cast down fear, regret, anxiety and depression in Jesus name, Amen!

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phil 3:13-14 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Keep Having Faith, It Will All Be Worth It

Yesterday Pastor Butler of Word of Faith (www.woficc.com) brought an awesome and encouraging word entitled “It Will Be Worth It.” He encouraged us to trust in God and don’t give up, not matter what things look like or how long we have been praying and believing in God for certain things. He instructed us to not put a due date on God’s reward. Like a pregnant woman who goes through challenges in her body throughout the 9 months (fatigue, nausea, funny appetite cramping, body changing and growing) when she gets to hold her healthy baby she is reminded that it was all worth it! Even though waiting is tough and we have to exercise patience, as Christians we have to choose to respond the right way and resist temptation. We must remember that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength and eventually it will ALL be worth it!

7 Things To Do While You Wait For Your Blessing To Manifest

1. Keep Living Holy

*Hebrews 11:24, Psalms 24:3-5, 84:11

*If you do it God’s way, He will reward you.

*Single people, keep standing and living holy, it’s worth it. (I can testify to that!!)

*Walking according to God’s word will cause you to be blessed all the days of your life.

2. Keep Putting Up With Difficult People

*Walk what you talk, walk like Jesus.

*Eph 4:1-3, 1 Cor 13 AMP, 1 Peter 2:18-20, Heb 6:10 1 Tim 4:8

*Forebearing means to put up with in love. If your kind to the person that you’re putting up with, they won’t know that you’re putting up with them.

*If you please God, rest assured He will reward you.

*Vengeance is God’s. Feed your enemy, overcome evil with good.

*The greater reward is that your pleasing God. Prov 11

*God will reward the pain you went through so someone else will be blessed.

*Resistance is the most tempting when your near your break through. When you get your blessing, you will be able to encourage others to keep going. You will have a double harvest: on earth and in heaven. Eph 4

3. Serve God Through Serving Others

*We bless God by serving Him.

*The liberal soul will be made fat (those that give to others will be blessed)

4. Living Two Give

*2 Cor 9:11, Prov 11:24-25

*When you give, you get increase. Remember the two bible stories about the woman with the vessel of oil and the boy with the 3 fish and 5 loaves of bread. God increased what they had because they were willing and had faith.

*Confess- I’m a money magnet for God.

*2 Tim 4:7, 1 Cor 7, Prov 10:4

*Faith, Focus, Finish

5. Be Diligent In Your Assignments

*Married couples, be diligent in meeting each other’s needs. Husbands make sure you take time to romance, communicate, give compliments and non sexual touch to your wives.

*Wives make sure you meet your husbands need for sex and you show him the respect that he needs. A woman who does not have sex with her husband is foolish. The bible encourages married couples to have sex and come together as one so that they are not tempted.

*Parents be diligent in parenting and training your children regularly. Teach them God’s ways. Don’t be organized and implement structure at work and have your home life disorganized.

6. Keep Having Faith In God

*1 Tim 6:12, Gen 5:24

*Keep fighting the good fight. Keep trusting no matter what it looks like.

7. Keep Chasing God

*The story of Enoch, the first man to be raptured. He was so close and in tune with God, God took called him up to heaven.

*Keep following Him. Keep going after God. Remind yourself that He is yours and you are His. In His presence is fullness of joy.

*Don’t allow the enemy to get you away from what you need the most. Stay tuned in after God. The word WILL produce for you. Keep doing the word every day, everything else will come to pass.

What To Do When Life Throws You A Detour

Pastor Butler brought an awesome and encouraging word yesterday at Word of Faith Southfield. The message was right on time for me. The message was about the detours of life. Life happens and things change and sometimes we find ourselves off the right path whether it’s our own fault or not. Pastor was encouraging us that no matter what happens in life, we as believers need to continue to seek God, stay in faith, be of good cheer, walk in patience and love. There are things that I’ve been believing in God for that lately I’ve been feeling anxious about.  I know that being anxious and stressed is not of God. Also worrying doesn’t produce results, faith does! I’ve repented of my ways and I’m ready to start fresh.

I’m excited to start walking out this message. God knows my needs and desires. He knows the plan He has for me, plans to give me hope and a future. I don’t know more than God and therefore I will trust Him and follow His plan!! Amen! Be blessed today everyone!

Checkout my notes below. I pray they bless you as much as they did me. It’s a good reminder and very encouraging. I got excited just retyping the notes! If you want to purchase a cd, dvd or mp3 of the message go to http://woficc.com.

1. Take the time to hear from God.

*Seek His face.

2. Be Patient

*Cheerful endurance.

*Don’t give up. Keep doing and saying the right things.

*Don’t give God a deadline.

3. Have Faith in God

*Have faith no matter what.

*Only by faith do you get the victory.

*1 John 5:4 Faith is the victory that overcomes the world.

4. Be of Good Cheer

*Rejoice in the Lord always

*Believe He’ll work it out

*Cheer up, something good is going to happen.

*Wake up each morning saying “something good is going to happen to me today.” And if not today than tomorrow it will!

*God’s got a plan for your life and your family’s lives.

*Nothing can stop God. There are no limits on God.

*No matter the detour, God can make it right if you follow the plan.

*Remember that in the middle of your storm, God is with you!!

*God is with you and will provide favor to you.

5. Be a Blessing

*God wants to use you, wherever you are. (on your job, in your community, at your church, wherever)

6. Treat others right

*Walk in love

*Treat people how you want them to treat you.

*There is no excuse to mistreat people

7. Repent Where You’ve Missed It

*Repent means to turn away from

*God is faithful to forgive us

*Your still a son/daughter of God and God will show you mercy.

*Repent and do it the right way.

Scripture texts

Joel 2:25, Acts 9:15, Acts chapters 27 and 28, Luke 15:17-24

6 Helpful Wife Tips On Sex, Parenting, Communication and More

I started thinking about marriage and a few things I have learned over the last two years and I felt lead to share a few tips with my readers. Whether you are married or desire to be married one day, I think you will find this post helpful.

We all know that marriage is lots of fun and lots of work! Like everything, it has its joys and challenges. As wives, how we handle situations and the attitude we maintain determine the outcome. Here are six helpful wife tips. Read them over and let me know what you think.

1)  With the summer time coming, try to find an outside sport or activity that you and your honey can do together. I know my husband likes to play tennis. We started playing tennis together last year and we had lots of fun. I am NOT a sports gal but I know that my husband likes to be outside and active so I am trying to adapt to being active also. Recreational companionship is vital in marriage. Find something that you both like to do, whether it’s walking on an outside trail, going to the park and jogging, tennis, basketball, golf etc. Doing this will help you all to become closer, spend time together having fun and burning calories. If we don’t do activities with our husbands, we may find that they will start spending more time hanging with the fellas. Time with our friends is very important but there needs to be a balance. Married couples should spend more time together than apart in my opinion.

2)   When your husband is quiet, it probably means that he’s thinking and does not feel like talking. If he’s sitting quietly, ask him if he’s okay and if he would like to talk. If he says nothings wrong but continues to sit in silence, ask him if you can get him anything or if he would just like some time alone. If he isn’t in a talkative mood or if he’s sort of snappy with you, just say a prayer for him and give him some space. I am taking my own advice on this one especially because I don’t like it when my husband is quiet because he’s naturally outgoing and talkative. I have to learn to respect his need to be quiet and let him have his space. I just continue to pray for him and check on him every now and then. This doesn’t happen often so when it does I let him have his moment.

Men have a lot of pressure to deal with on their jobs and regarding taking care of us and their homes. When things aren’t going right in their careers or with the finances, they may sit and think intensely for a while because their trying to find solutions to the problems. Thank God for men who care about the issues of the family and are seeking God on how to resolve them!

3) A lot of my friends are pregnant with their first babies now. One wise piece of advice that I received from a mother of two from our church was this: make sure you include your husband in the parenting, disciplining and bonding time with the children. What she was telling me was sometimes as mother’s we become so particular with how we want the children to be feed or bathed for example that we fuss at our husbands when they don’t do it correctly and this may disagree them from continuing to try. As long as the child is not being neglected or hurt, let your husband have his time with the children to bath, feed, read or dress them without you hovering over them.

My parents taught me growing up that husbands and wives should always remain a team when it comes to discipline. They were a great example for my brother and I regarding marriage, parenting and discipline. Here is what they taught me. We were all raised differently, we have different views on the correct way to discipline children. It is up to the parents to meet, away from the children, to discuss the children’s behaviors and what discipline is appropriate for the particular action. Never argue in front of the children about what their punishment should be and never go behind the other parent’s back and change the punishment. Always show a united front when it comes to the children and don’t let them divide you two. When the children are older and long gone, it will only be you two alone in the house again and you don’t want to hate each other by that point.

My parents are celebrating their 30th marriage anniversary this year. They’ve had an empty nest for a little over two years now and they are loving it! They’ve expanded their bedroom and redesigned other rooms in the house. They’re honeymooners again and I love to see them happy! They weren’t at each other’s throats constantly during the child rearing years and now they can reap the benefits of their labor!

4)  If you are overwhelmed, tired and need your husband to help out more more around the house, pray about the right time and words to share this with him. You may want to cook him a nice meal and at dinner tell him what areas you need his help in. We never get through to our husbands by nagging or yelling at them. If you can speak to him when he’s relaxed and not busy, that would be a great time to let him know what you need. Say something like this “baby I so appreciate everything you do for me and our family. I know you have a lot going on but you still take the time do to things like take out the trash and keep gas in the car. Lately I’ve been feelings a little overwhelmed with the house work and cooking everyday. I wanted to talk to you about ways you can help me a few times a month with certain things so that I can get a little more rest. You let me know what things you would be good at or have the time to do.” If you say this with a good attitude and open heart to receive his answer, hopefully he will respond correctly. If this does not work, just keep praying. God is faithful. He will soften his heart and open his eyes eventually. Keeping loving and respecting him in the mean time.

5) I am subscribed to a blog entitled Daily Generous Wife Tips. The author Lori sent this post out on 6/2/2010 and I found it to be very helpful. Here is the point that she spoke on that day. The post was titled “Receive with Grace.” Guys have a fascination for body parts (it’s the visual thing). It’s not meant to be a slight. It’s really just about how they are wired. That doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate all of you or that they only want you for sex, it’s just when they are being sexual they will notice and want to touch body parts. I encourage y’all to understand that when your husband grabs for you, it’s just an expression of his sexuality and not a personal slight. Your husband just loves to touch what appeals to him. In a very real sense, if you reject his touch, you are rejecting him. If you receive with grace his little touches here and there you are accepting him and setting the stage for a more full expression of love at a later time. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird) Be generous! Lori http://www.the-generous-wife.com/

I could totally relate to this post because my husband often reaches to touch me in some way everyday. He loves my body and loves to be near me. This is a great thing in theory but sometimes I honestly don’t feel like being touched. Sometimes he says playfully, “baby don’t reject me,” with his handsome smile. He told me that he just loves to be near me and he’s trying to be affectionate with me. I learned to smile and feel honored when he reaches to touch me instead of pulling away of looking annoyed. I don’t want him touching or desiring anyone else and I want to meet his heads. When I go to lay my head on his chest or cuddle with him at night, he never pulls away from me. He meets my needs and I meet his. That is what marriage is about.

6. Never get to busy to pray! Often times we as women spend more time taking care of others then we do ourselves. Many of us are working full-time, serving at our churches, taking care of our husbands, children, family, friends, the house and the dog. No matter what we have going on in our outside lives, we MUST set aside quiet time to pray, seek God, rest in his peaceful presence and get wisdom and instruction from Him. He keeps us energized, not the coffee/tea that we drink each morning!! Seeking God’s face and His word keeps us from going off on our husbands when they start to frustrate us. We are all human but God is asking us to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh. We must continue to seek Him daily to make sure we stay in the spirit. When you mess up and step into the flesh, make sure you repent, turn in the opposite direction and keep going.