Are You Up For The Fight??

Today I ask a simple question, are you willing to FIGHT for your marriage? When the communication is challenging, when the bills are stacked high, when the sex isn’t frequent, when you can’t seem to agree on the big or little things anymore, are you willing to FIGHT!!?! Marriage is a lot of fun but lots of work. Everyday isn’t perfect but we are to work hard to keep our marriages happy, healthy, HOT and holy!

I believe that marriage is forever. Whether things are good, bad, pretty or ugly, it is forever. Maybe one might say, “Of course this is easy to say when you haven’t been through a major storm,” but I see it differently. I believe that if you start out knowing that you’re in your marriage for life, when the storms come you won’t be as easily shaken and ready to jump ship. When we say “I Do” before God we are making a covenant and committment to trust God and remain faithful to Him, our vows and each other.  Today I ask you, will you continue to trust God and remain faithful to your spouse, your partner for life and continue to work, pray and fight to be happy? Please note that I am not talking about people staying in abusive, unhealthy or unsafe relationships. I’m saying that everyday won’t be happy, perfect and easy, but when you invest in your marriage (reading books on marriage, going to church, counseling, spending time together talking, praying and being intimate) you can get through anything together.

  1 Corinthians 13:3-7 Message Bible

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
   Love doesn’t strut,
   Doesn’t have a swelled head,
   Doesn’t force itself on others,
   Isn’t always “me first,”
   Doesn’t fly off the handle,
   Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

8 Tips to stay happily married

1. Walk in forgiveness

2. Learn to praise your spouse for what their doing good

3. Set aside time weekly to spend time together doing something romantic or fun

4. Don’t rehearse in your mind all the things your spouse is doing wrong, instead think on the things that they are doing good. Rehearse in your mind what you love about them. Philippians 4:8-9

5. Pray for your spouse daily. Thank God for them and ask God to help you meet their needs. 

6. Make time for sex and learn how to please one another.

7. Learn to communicate respectfully. Keep the communication going. Example: text, email or send love notes to let each other know you love and are thinking about one another.

8. Seek godly counsel during the rough patches and keep your family and friends out of your marriage. Godly counsel can be your spiritual mentor, other Christian couples, a Christian counselor etc You want to talk to people who will speak life over your marriage and not death.

Prayer for the marriages

Thank you Lord for every married person reading this post. Thank you Lord for giving them the grace to be strong and happy in their marriage. Thank you for sending them the needed resources and laborers to help them when times get hard. Lord I ask you to help them show their spouse mercy and help them to forgive daily. Help them to make their marriage a priority and help them to focus on meeting their spouses needs. During the hard times Lord, walk with them and guide them through the storm. Help them to be long-suffering and patient with their spouse as you are with them. Help them to laugh and enjoy their spouse like they did when they were dating. Thank you for the victory and fulfillment in their marriage bed, finances and communication. Thank you for all these things in Jesus name amen!

6 Habits to Keep Your Marriage Happy, Hot and Healthy

This morning my honey and I decided to go on a walk/jog around our complex. It was a beautiful out and we were happy to get in some exercise together. We did a lot of jogging and by the end we were both feeling the burn.

While we were out, we ran into four of our older neighbors who were also walking around the complex. The four of them were smiling at us and greeted us with pleasant good mornings. One of the ladies said something that puzzled us. She said, “it’s just so nice to see you two doing things together.” We thanked her and kept walking. We started talking and asking ourselves, why wouldn’t we be doing things together? The sad thing is, many married couples don’t spend a lot of free time together. People these days don’t get to see many couples that want to be around each other and enjoy each other. The tone in the older lady’s voice gave us the impression that she didn’t see couples like us often. I believe that it’s vitally important that couples make each other and their marriage a priority.

It’s a good idea to get into good habits so that your marriage can be happy, hot and healthy!! If more people’s marriages were happy, hot and healthy, they would want to spend the majority of their time together and you wouldn’t be able to pull them apart! Let’s all strive to make our marriages better! Here is an article that I found entitled 6 Habits of Happily Married Couples.

HABIT #1 – GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal — which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?”

To monitor how you’re doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

HABIT #2 – CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following “greeting ritual” at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, “Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!”

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a “date night” at least every other week.

HABIT #3 – CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It’s common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 – USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the “listener-speaker technique.” The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here’s how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully “heard,” do you then proceed to problem solving.

HABIT #5 – CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear — or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of “turning toward” as opposed to “turning away.”

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.

Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect — by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it’s a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who “turn away” from each other don’t develop closeness. It’s a basic principle stated in the Talmud, “A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed.”

HABIT #6 – INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: “After you’re married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?” And I usually follow-up by saying, “And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?”

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.

Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

http://www.aish.com/f/m/48937667.html

I put the word HOT in the title because if you and your spouse are communicating appropriately, working out issues the right way, spending time together, being respectful and loving and cultivating your friendship, your marriage WILL BE HOT, PASSIONATE AND STEAMING!!

Thank you Lord for every married person that reads this post. Bless them and their mate. Help them to walk according to your word and trust you in every area of their lives and marriage. Thank you Lord in advance for all their needs being met. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Question: Which habits stuck out to you? Were there any that you didn’t agree with? Forward this post to others that you think may need to read it. Lets help produce happy, hot and healthy relationships.

Let’s Talk About SEX Baby!

Instead of making a list about the top 12 reasons why premarital sex is bad, I wanted to make a list about the top 12 reasons why married sex is good! Below are reasons why legal, holy sex is the best. I figured if more people knew their value/worth and knew what they could look forward to in waiting, maybe more people would be willing to wait. This topic started as a Facebook discussion yesterday on my status. The list is a collaboration of things my friends and I came up with.

Please read the list and feel free to add to it or post your thoughts.

10 Reasons why legal, holy, married sex is the best.

1) You don’t have to worry about guilt or shame because you know that God is pleased with your actions.

2) You can have passionate, experimental, worry free love making because your spouse is your best friend and you are fully committed to one another.

3) You can wake up the morning after intimacy with your spouse by your side, instead of waking up alone, feeling dirty and empty.

4) With married sex, you’re not using anyone for their body and you’re not getting used. You both want to be together and please ONLY each other.

5) In marriage, I feel safe, protected and cherished while being intimate with my husband. Premarital can cause people to feel lonely, hurt, embarrassed and stressed.

6) With married sex, you don’t have to worry about your spouse leaving you if you get pregnant or leaving you when they see someone who may look better than you.

7) With married sex, you don’t have to be self-conscious or try to impress someone with your skill or body. Married couples should have fun learning what pleases each other. I encourage couples to pray and invite the Holy Ghost into their bedroom. He will lead and guide you and assist you with ensuring your loving making is mind blowing. He will grant you that request because you are in His will.

8 Married sex is a legal, holy, uninhibited, drama free way to physically express your desire and love for one another.

9) Married couples aim to please each other and wholeheartedly serve one another (in and outside of the bedroom) without guilt or shame.

10) In marriage, you and your spouse are one and intimate in every way. You don’t have to worry about getting too close or too attached because the person may leave you. Marriage is FOR LIFE and through the good and the bad, your spouse will always be there.

11) In marriage, you don’t have to sneak around to have sex and worry about getting caught. Married sex is legal and pleasing in God’s sight.

12) Married sex is about love, trust, committment and honesty. You can be yourself and know that your spouse loves you for who you are, not just because you’re giving it up to them. Love doesn’t pressure or demand that people do things for or too them. Love is patient, kind and understanding. When your marriage is good, your sex life is GREAT!!

I just want to say that marriage is about much more than sex. I don’t want people to think that I am implying that that is all married folk do (though some wouldn’t mind that being their main responsibility ) Marriage is about love, commitment, serving one another, giving 100% to each other, communication, meeting each other’s needs, sharing money, time, raising children, working in the ministry together and so much more. Sex is important of marriage though. Sex is what keeps married people close and the bible encourages married folk to not deny one another and to come together often.

I also know that no one’s marriage is perfect, in or outside of the bedroom, and marriage is hard work. Some married folk maybe going through right now and may not agree with this list at all and that’s ok. All I’m saying is, in marriages where Christ is TRULY at the center and both people are honestly trying to live by God’s word, where their committed to him first and then each other, you will find yourself experiencing the things on this list.

I encourage each person, single or married, to abandon the worlds way of thinking about sex, intimacy and marriage, and adopt the Lord’s ways and thoughts. Read your bible, get involved at a local church, hang around other SAVED and HOLY people and watch your life be changed and blessed forever!!