Over the years, I have been tremendously blessed by Joyce Meyer’s books. Recently, I started reading her book, The Confident woman, Start Today Living Boldly And Without Fear. Chapter 4: Seven Secrets Of A Confident Woman, was an awesome read. I wanted to post of a few of the key points from each secret. I pray it blesses you for it certainly blessed me.  Because of our relationships with the Lord, we can ALL walk boldly and confidently each day!

Secret 1- A confident woman knows that she is loved.

  • She does not fear being loved because she knows first and foremost that God loves her unconditionally. To be whole and complete, we need to know that we are loved.
  • I encourage you to concentrate on those that love you and forget about those who don’t.
  • There are women who feel so bad about themselves that they get involved with men who will hurt them, because they believe that is all they deserve. You need to be around safe people, not people who continue to wound you. God will help you learn to recognize those people if you listen to His wisdom.
  • I urge you to take a step of faith right now and say out loud, “God loves me unconditionally, and I receive His love!” You may have to say it 100 times a day, like I did for months, before it finally sinks in, but when it does it will be the happiest day of your life.
  • Eph 1:4-5 and 1 John 4:18

Secret 2- A confident woman refuses to live in fear.

  • “I will not fear” is the only acceptable attitude we can have toward fear. That does not mean that we will never feel fear, but it does mean that we will not allow it to rule our decisions and actions.
  • 2 Tim 2:7 and Hebrews 10:38
  • We should strive to do everything with a spirit of faith. Faith is confidence in God and a belief that His promises are true. When a person walks in faith, Satan immediately tries to hinder her through many things, including fear.
  • Faith will cause a person to go forward, to try new things and be aggressive. Fear causes people to bury their talents due to fear of failure, judgement or criticism.
  • I encourage you to be firm in your resolve to do whatever you need to do, even if you have to “do it afraid!” To “do it afraid” means to feel the fear and do what you belive you should do anyway. The only thing we really need to do is fear God, reverentially.

Secret 3- A confident woman is positive.

  • Confidence and negativity do not go together. They are like oil and water, they do not mix. I used to be a very negative woman, but thank God, I finally learned that being positive is much more fun and fruitful.
  • Being positive or negative is a choice, it is a way of thinking, speaking and acting. Either one comes from a habit that has been formed in our lives through repetitious behavior.
  • Fear is the dark room where all your negatives are developed, so why not look at the brighter side of life? Why not believe that something good is going to happen to you? If you think you are protecting yourself from being disappointed by not expecting anything good, you are mistaken. Your living in disappointment if you do that.
  • Positive thinking can change your current reality. God is positive, that is His reality. It is the way He is, the way He thinks, and the way He encourage us to be.
  • Romans 8:28 and 1 Cor 13:7
  • It has been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens.

Secret 4- A confident woman recovers from setbacks.

  • A person is not a failure because she tried some things that did not work out. She fails only when she stops trying.
  • Most of the people who are huge successes failed their way to success. Instead of letting mistakes stop you, let them train you.
  • If you are doing nothing with your life because you are not sure what to do, then I recommend that you pray and begin trying somethings. It won’t take long before you will feel comfortable with something.
  • One of the greatest things about a relationship with God is that He always provides new beginnings. His word says that His mercy is new every day. Jesus chose disciples who had weaknesses and made mistakes, but He continued working with them and helping them.
  • Phil 3:13
  • Don’t be afraid of your past; it has no power over you except what you give it.

Secret 5- A confident woman avoids comparisons.

  • Confidence is not possible as long as we compare ourselves to other people. No matter how good we look, how talented or smart we are, or how successful we are, there is always someone who is better, and sooner or later we will run into them.
  • I believe confidence is found in doing the best we can with what we have to work with and not in comparing ourselves with others and competing with them.
  • Our joy should not be found in being better than others, but in being the best we can be. Always struggling to maintain the number one position is hard work. In fact, it’s impossible.
  • I found myself always comparing myself with someone, and in the process rejecting and disapproving of the person God created me to be. After years of misery, I finally understood that God does not make mistakes, He purposely makes all of us different, and different is not bad; it is God showing His creative variety.
  • Confidence begins with self-acceptance, which is made possible through a strong faith in God’s love and plan for our lives.
  • I encourage you to be content in who you are. That does not mean that you cannot make progress and continually improve, but when you allow other people to become a law (rule or regulation), you are continually disappointed.
  • Psalm 139, Exodus 20:17 & 1 Cor 2:16

Secret 6- A confident woman takes action.

  • I have heard that there are two types of people in the world. The ones who wait for something to happen and the ones who make something happen.
  • A naturally bold person has to overcome pride, excessive aggression, and false confidence, while the naturally shy person must overcome anxiety, timidity, the temptation to withdraw from challenges, and low confidence.
  • While confidence is a good thing, egotism is not. Thank God we can learn to have balance in our lives. We can benefit from our strengths and overcome our weaknesses through His help.
  •  I believe we must learn to step out into things and find out what God has for us in life. A more timid approach may protect individuals from making mistakes but the result is that they spend their lives wondering “what could have been,” Bold people, on the other hand, make more mistakes, but they recover and eventually find what is right and fulfilling for them.
  • God works through our faith, not our fear. Don’t sit on the sidelines of life, wishing you were doing the things you see other people doing. Take action and get a life!
  • Your attitude makes all the difference in your life. Have a positive, aggressive, take action attitude, and you will enjoy your life more. It may be difficult at first, but it will be worth it in the end.

Secret 7- A confident woman does not live in “if only,” and “what if.”

  • One of the biggest mistakes we can make in life is to stare at what we don’t have or have lost and fail to take an inventory of what we do have.
  • Matt 14:15-21 the story of the five small loves of bread and the two fish. The lesson was: If we will just give God what we have, He will use it and give us back more than we had to begin with.
  • It is not our abilities that God desires, but it is our availability He wants. He wants us to see possibilities, not problems. Don’t spend your life thinking, “if only,” you had something else, then you could do something worthwhile. “If only,” is a thief of what could be.
  • “What if,” can be as devastating as “if only.” Negatively anticipating a future experience is potentially more devastating than actually experiencing the problem.
  • Where the mind goes, the man follows. If you pay more attention to your thoughts and choose to think on things that will help you instead of hinder you, it will release God’s power to help you be the confident woman God wants you to be. Think confident and you will be confident!