How Social Networking Has Changed Our Lives

Sadly, I couldn’t imagine going 24 hours without using my cell phone, reading any emails, sending any texts or using the internet for anything. With the invention of PDA’s, iPhones, Blackberrys and Smart Phones in general, we literally have the world at our finger tips every where we go. Gone are the days of missing emails because you spent a few hours off site and weren’t by a computer. No longer do you have to only communicate with your friends by talking on the phone or mailing them a letter (how boring lol) Now a quick instant message, writing a message on their FB wall, hitting them up on Twitter or MySpace is the way to do it. I HATE checking my voicemail. If I don’t answer when someone calls, I prefer they send me a message that I can read because if I am too busy to talk, I can send them a message and get back to them faster.

What I love about Facebook is the ability to get information out to hundreds of people at a time on your status. I was so excited to post when I got engaged, married, we purchased our first home and when we found out I was pregnant. I also love encouraging others, reading my friends inspirational messages on their statuses and posting and viewing others pictures. It’s how we keep up with each other’s lives!

Social media helps with keeping in contact with family and friends who are out-of-state or who you haven’t seen in several years (from grade school, college etc) Social media is also great for promoting businesses, ministries etc.

Of course everything needs balance and it isn’t good to spend all day everyday online or on your cell phone. We can’t let social media/networking take the place of “real life relationships” or everyday human interaction. It is a good idea to put the phones away while on a date, the dinner table, when company is over, or while you’re at work. I’m bad at using my phone often and am working on putting it on silent and on the shelf at home and work more often. P.S I haven’t seen the movie Social Network yet but I heard it was really good.

**How has social networking change your life? Affected your relationships? Enhanced your business?**

Stop Faking It: How To Be Honest About Your Needs In & Outside The Bedroom

Often times as women and wives, we try our best to please everyone around us (our husbands, children, friends, family, boss) and we continue to put our own needs on the shelf, this is a big mistake. As wives, it’s important that we communicate our needs to our husbands and teach them to satisfy us and meet our needs in and outside of the bedroom.

 

 

4 Tips On How To Communicate Your Needs To Your Spouse

1.  Pray about what to say and when to say it. Women, we know we can be bold, blunt and to the point sometimes, but when it comes to our husbands, we must take a sweet and respectful approach. When addressing concerns with men, timing and tone of voice is everything. Don’t meet him at the front door after work with all your concerns because you just couldn’t wait to let him have it. It’s important to slow down, take a deep breath and take your concerns to God in prayer. Seek God about what to say and when to say it. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to help your husband hear your heart and not be embarrassed or defensive.

2. Be honest. If the sex isn’t what you’d like it to be, he hasn’t fixed the list of items that are broken around the house or he keeps forgetting to take the trash out, sit him down and talk about your needs.  He may think he’s doing ok in these areas until you tell him, esp the sex area.

Sex is meant to be pleasing for the husband and the wife. When we become one in marriage, our bodies are no longer our own, they are for pleasing each other. If you aren’t being pleased the answer is simple, teach him how to please you. In sweet seductive words and movements, show him what to do. He will appreciate the guidance because a good man aims to please his woman. If you fake it, you’ll never get where you desire to be and intimacy is a huge part of marriage; don’t cheat yourself!!

3. Be patient and calm while you share your needs. Compliment him first and don’t nag or use defensive words. It’s important to build him up before telling him where he’s missing it. Remember no one is perfect and the goal is not to make him feel bad, it’s to have an open, honest and productive discussion about each other’s needs.

 Organize your thoughts before you talk to him. Decide on the top two concerns you would like to explore. If the list of concerns is too long, the discussion may be too overwhelming for both of you.

Bonus tip

Don’t speak ill of your husband or marriage to your friends. It won’t do your marriage any good to always tell your girlfriends where your hubby is dropping the ball and never him. You never want to put your husband down to others, only lift him up. Learn to spend more time talking to God and your spouse about your marriage then you do anyone else. We don’t want our husbands sharing with their friends all the things that we need to do better so let’s show them the same respect.

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How To Be A Lover NOT A Nagger

No one likes to be nagged. Nagging is one of the most annoying and frustrating things a person can do I feel. I know that nagging your spouse, significant other, family, friends or children can be tempting at times, but try your best to resist the temptation. We all want things done a certain way in at a certain time BUT  nagging a person in attempts to get them to do things your way isn’t always affective and it certainly doesn’t make them feel closer to you or want to be around you.

Definition of nag: Function: verb Inflected Form(s): nagged; nag·ging
intransitive verb 1 : to find fault incessantly : complain
2 : to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction transitive verb 1 : to irritate by constant scolding or urging 2 : badger, worry

When I clean the house on the weekends, I sometimes ask my husband to do certain projects when he gets time. In my head I really don’t mean when he gets time, I mean as soon as possible however, any task that I give him, I tell myself, “let him do it when he gets ready, don’t nag him, he won’t forget.” He usually always completes the projects and does a great job. The times where it does slip his mind, I try my best to gently remind him instead of nagging him. I’m not perfect but I continue to work on not nagging.

When it comes to daily task, every person moves at their own pace and holds the different task on different levels of value. As wives, when we start to nag our husbands, they get frustrated and eventually an argument may start. If something isn’t getting done in the manner in which you feel it should, kindly remind your husband and if that doesn’t work, for your own sanity you may want to do it yourself. As women, let’s try to love on those around us and not nag, criticize or bark at them. Those behaviors aren’t cute or affective.

YgoY.com wrote a list about how to avoid being a nag. Check it out and share your thoughts. What on the list makes sense and what don’t you agree with?

  • Try to feel secure in a relationship. Any misunderstandings can be sorted out, spend quality time with your husband. Make him feel you care for him. He will reciprocate similar feelings
  • Do not be over suspicious. Assuming things can just mar a relationship
  • Give more freedom to your husband. Respect his time and allow him to be on his own for a while. Let him spend the time the way he wants
  • Control your outbursts. You need not get angry over issues. You discuss and sort them out in a more amicable manner
  • Build up trust. Both the partners should repose trust in each other
  • Share the responsibility of bringing up the children. This would reduce the pressure on you
  • Try to mend your habits to suit the likes and dislikes of your husband
  • Convey your criticisms in a gentle way
  • Do not seek attention through nagging
  • Try to understand the cause of your nagging
  • Do not expect all your problems to be solved
  • Try to focus on your own problems and work on them
  • Do not force your decisions on your husband
  • Praise your husband for anything nice he may have done for you
  • Relax and indulge yourself so that your moods improve

http://women.ygoy.com/2008/07/24/top-15-ways-not-to-be-a-nag/

6 Habits to Keep Your Marriage Happy, Hot and Healthy

This morning my honey and I decided to go on a walk/jog around our complex. It was a beautiful out and we were happy to get in some exercise together. We did a lot of jogging and by the end we were both feeling the burn.

While we were out, we ran into four of our older neighbors who were also walking around the complex. The four of them were smiling at us and greeted us with pleasant good mornings. One of the ladies said something that puzzled us. She said, “it’s just so nice to see you two doing things together.” We thanked her and kept walking. We started talking and asking ourselves, why wouldn’t we be doing things together? The sad thing is, many married couples don’t spend a lot of free time together. People these days don’t get to see many couples that want to be around each other and enjoy each other. The tone in the older lady’s voice gave us the impression that she didn’t see couples like us often. I believe that it’s vitally important that couples make each other and their marriage a priority.

It’s a good idea to get into good habits so that your marriage can be happy, hot and healthy!! If more people’s marriages were happy, hot and healthy, they would want to spend the majority of their time together and you wouldn’t be able to pull them apart! Let’s all strive to make our marriages better! Here is an article that I found entitled 6 Habits of Happily Married Couples.

HABIT #1 – GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal — which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?”

To monitor how you’re doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

HABIT #2 – CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following “greeting ritual” at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, “Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!”

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a “date night” at least every other week.

HABIT #3 – CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It’s common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 – USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the “listener-speaker technique.” The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here’s how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully “heard,” do you then proceed to problem solving.

HABIT #5 – CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear — or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of “turning toward” as opposed to “turning away.”

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.

Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect — by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it’s a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who “turn away” from each other don’t develop closeness. It’s a basic principle stated in the Talmud, “A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed.”

HABIT #6 – INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: “After you’re married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?” And I usually follow-up by saying, “And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?”

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.

Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

http://www.aish.com/f/m/48937667.html

I put the word HOT in the title because if you and your spouse are communicating appropriately, working out issues the right way, spending time together, being respectful and loving and cultivating your friendship, your marriage WILL BE HOT, PASSIONATE AND STEAMING!!

Thank you Lord for every married person that reads this post. Bless them and their mate. Help them to walk according to your word and trust you in every area of their lives and marriage. Thank you Lord in advance for all their needs being met. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Question: Which habits stuck out to you? Were there any that you didn’t agree with? Forward this post to others that you think may need to read it. Lets help produce happy, hot and healthy relationships.