3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

This post is dedicated to the many beautiful, saved, successful, smart, kind, driven and uncompromising women in the world. Many of my closest female friends are single this holiday season and I wanted to write a post of encouragement and humor that would carry them through this season.

While many single women desire to be married at some point, they are learning to dedicate their time, money, talent and bodies to Christ during the waiting season. For me, on an average day, being single wasn’t that challenging  BUT I did have days, especially around special holidays (Valentines Day, my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas) were I wished I had a good man to love and celebrate with. The longing for someone to love and be loved by is natural and normal but we must always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Marriage is lots of fun but it’s also challenging work. Often times people don’t think about all the serving, sacrificing, patience and comprise that comes with the territory and therefore so many couples get divorced. One of the purposes of my blog is to inform single women of the wonderful and not so wonderful aspects of marriage so that they have a realistic expectation before saying I Do! Checkout the list below about why being single on Christmas isn’t a bad thing.

3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

1. When your single, you don’t have to agree with anyone but the Holy Spirit about how to spend your money for Christmas or how many gifts to purchase. Throughout the year you save your money and when Christmas time comes you can tithe, pay your bills and make a list as long or short as you’d like of who you bless for Christmas. It’s your money and your prerogative.

2. When your single you don’t have the responsiblity of visiting  your family and the in-laws and doing the house jumping balancing act. If you want to stay home you can, if you want to go from house to house you can. As a single woman the holidays are what you make it. Surround yourself with loved ones (family and friends) and thank God for what you do have instead of thinking about what you don’t have.

3.When your single, instead of needing to go out and find the perfect Christmas morning lingerie, you can pick out whatever cute and comfortable PJs that you like because you only have to please you. It’s wonderful to have a husband to dress up for but sometimes it’s nice to put on whatever makes you comfy, grab a book or a girlie movie and spend some quality time by yourself.

Basically ladies what I’m saying is being married has a lot of perks (companionship, love, sex and children to be raised by two parents in a loving home) but singleness definitely does too (independence of time, money, jobs and travel. You can go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to) We must all remember that it’s a blessing to be breathing this Christmas. To have some money to bless a few people with gifts, to have family and friends to celebrate Christ’s birth with and enjoy good food. Married or single, let’s find reasons to be grateful and content this Christmas. Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

5 Months Pregnant & Daydreaming about Life, Love & Sex AFTER Baby

Being pregnant and able to carry a child is beautiful and honorable. My pregnancy continues to go smoothly and in a few days I will be 20 weeks, half way there! Time is moving fast but we are excited and getting prepared. As the days goes by and my belly grows, I continue picturing life as a mother. I imagine several feeds and diaper changes a day, less sleep and having to stay in the house for a few weeks until the baby and I are safe to go out. Also I imagine life without frequent sex with my hubby, less hanging out on late dates and less quiet moments in the house. In no way am I complaining, I am just being realistic about the things in life that will be different. I did not say no sleep, no sex (after the 6 weeks :-), no dates etc, I just said less. We planned this pregnancy and we were overjoyed when God granted us our request. Now its time to prepare for a baby not only physically and financially but mentally and emotionally.

The day I go into labor and deliver our healthy child (we haven’t found out the sex yet) life will never be the same. As I think about it though, life already will never be the same. I think about the baby always, when I get dressed, how I sleep and what I eat.  Here are a few adjustments that I have already had to make gladly for our little bundle of joy:

1. Frequent trips to the restroom.

2. Having to eat small meals every few hours or I will get a headache

3. The way I sleep at night and how much sleep I need.

4. Getting hormone headaches and not being able to take meds often.

5. Watching what I eat and basically changing my diet. No sushi, soft cheeses, hardly any coffee or pop, hardly any seafood or lunch meat, the list goes on about the food but I won’t bore you.

Last night at Word of Faith Southfield, we had a special service split. The men received a message just for them in the chapel and the women received a service just for them in the sanctuary. Our first lady, Min Deborah Butler, opened the floor for question and answer. One of the discussions was really helpful to me and the new season that I am approaching.

The question was from a woman who was newly married and had two young children. She was inquiring about how she could fit more sex into her marriage with two little ones running around all the time. Min Deborah gave her three helpful tips 1) get the children on a schedule so they get used to going to bed at a certain time every night. Train them to understand parents and children time and just parents time. Put them to bed and then you two go in your room, lock the door and get it on quietly. 2) Sex doesn’t only have to take place at night, have sex in the morning before they wake up or other alternate times of the day. 3) Find another couple with young children that you TRUST and take turns watching each other’s children so both couples can have some alone time together.

I found these suggestions helpful because sex is a big part of marriage and by the time the baby comes we will have been married for 3 years. That means 3 years of enjoying each other whenever we wanted (hey were all adults here! lol) As the baby gets older (2-3 months) and we start to adjust to parenthood, we will need to start going out on dates and caring for one another’s needs, just like we do the baby’s needs. Life is busy right now with work, church, family, friends, house work, cooking, taking care of each other etc; now with God’s grace and mercy, we will add a healthy happy little one to the mix. We serve an awesome and faithful God who will give us wisdom, mercy, grace and patience and we have a great support system full of family and friends. I am curious about what life will be like but I am excited, hopeful and confident that we will learn, grow and do just fine!

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

29th Birthday 29 Reasons To Shout

  

Today is my 29th Birthday and I have so much to be thankful for!! God has been so good to me, without Him, I would be lost but with Him, there has been nothing that I haven’t been able to do!!  Where would I be without His grace and mercy! Lost and looking crazy!! Today I wanted to share 29 reasons that I shout and praise God regarding my life. I pray this list encourages, motivates and stirs you up like it continuously does me!!

29 Reasons To Shout

God has blessed me with:

1. Good health

2. A sharp, peaceful and sound mind

3. An intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I am NOT ashamed to share the gospel of Christ and let my lifestyle be an example to others.

4. An awesome black man, YES ladies there are great ones out there! My husband loves God, himself, me and our bundle of joy with all that he has in him.

5. I’M GOING TO BE A MOMMY!!

6. We were blessed to be able to plan when we wanted to started our family and God granted us our desire!!

7. An education. I was blessed to go to two different private schools and was able to go to college and obtain my Bachelors and Masters degrees.

8. The funds my husband and I needed to purchase our first home right before we got married. We purchased a 3 bedroom condo in Southfield for $36,000. It’s 2,500 square ft with a huge basement!! God is so AWESOME and faithful!!

9. Both sets of our parents are still happily married (30 and 29 years!!). They are all saved, love God and welcome Him to be the center of their marriages. We are so blessed to have the 4 of them in good health and living in the same State as us. We thank God for their love, guidance and support.

10. All 5 of our siblings (Joe/Chasity, Leah, Rachel and Rebecca) are saved, hard-working, loving, kind, hilarious, giving, college students, athletes, volunteers and business men and women, that love the Lord.

11. A healthy, intelligent, funny, giving, happy and well-behaved niece. I love Gabrielle Mackenzie Wood!

12. A career that I love. I am a supervisor at Judson Center in the Family Reunification Program.

13. I am a limited licensed counselor in the State of Michigan.

14. A husband whom is my best friend, the leader of my home, my life companion, lover and future baby’s daddy!

15. An awesome church home where the word is taught straight from the bible. We are taught how to walk in it and trust God for all that we need. Our lives have been forever changed since joining Word of Faith in 01 and 02.  Shout out to ALL of our Word Of Faith family, we love you all!!

16. A healthy and comfortable first 2 months of my pregnancy. We are confessing great things over our baby and my body.

17. I am no longer lost, broken, bond, confused, hurt or deceived by the treats of the enemy! Jesus died on the cross for my sins and because of His blood I am cleansed, healed and free.

18. I love myself. I am happy in my own skin. I know who I am in Christ and who He has made me to be!

19. God has given me the strength, boldness and heart for the people. He has turned my mess into my message and helped me to share my life experiences with those in need. BUT GOD LADIES, BUT GOD!

20. I know my God loves me unconditionally.

21. We have 3 grandmothers and 1 grandfather still living and ALL four of them love the Lord and their families and they continually share their wisdom with us. Eddie’s grandparents have been married for 62 years!!

22. God’s divine protection and the blood of Jesus covers my home, our baby, our bodies and our family and friends daily.

23. God has blessed us to get married during a time that so many other Christian couples were getting married and therefore we have an awesome community of married couples to fellowship and pray with.

24. My hubby and I are blessed to have support from all of our family and friends regarding my pregnancy and our upcoming baby. It’s such a blessing to have people praying for us, encouraging us and being ready and willing to be a blessing to us!

25. I thank God for the gifts and talents that He has given me to write posts for this blog each week and to finish my book project soon. I thank God for my book coach, Versandra Kennebrew and my peer Leslie B! I really enjoy working with these lovely ladies and growing with them.

26. I praise that I am in His will and right where I need and desire to be in my life. God is continually developing and molding me but I am happy to be able to say that I am in His will for my life right now.

27. I praise God for my drama free, honest, happy HOT marriage.

28. I am extremely thankful to God for my true friends. My friends that I’ve had for years, since a little girl all the way to my friends that I just met this year. You know who you are. I love you and I thank God for your love, prayers, guidance, support and friendship! True friends keep you on the right path and make you better. I thank God for you ladies!!

29. I thank God that favor goes before me each and every day and prospers my way!! God is continuously opening doors for me and my family and making ways when it seems like there is no way. I do not have to fear because I know that my way is blessed because I’m following Christ!!

Independent Women and Chivalry

With today being the age of the Independent Woman, I was wondering what role does chivalry play in today’s society. I believe that chivalry is a great thing but I’m sure many modern-day independent women feel other wise. Before we jump into this debate, let’s define what an independent woman is and what chivalry means. The definition of an Independent Woman is a woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and DOES NOT allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports her self on her own entirely and is proud to be able to do so.

Chivalry means: 1 : valiant 2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of chivalry and knight-errantry 3 a : marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women. Chivalry[1] is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are often used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

I believe that being a successful, independent, self sufficient, driven woman is a great thing. I am proud to see so many women being successful and doing their thing BUT sometimes I think we as women take the “I’m independent, I’m running things and I don’t need anyone, esp a man,” attitude way to far. Men are a blessing, an added bonus to our lives. We don’t need them to be happy and content but it is a blessing when a good woman finds a good man!

Women ask yourself this, is a chivalrous man attractive to you? Would you like it if your man did the following things on a regular basis or are these things too much? I know you can do all of these activities on your own but would it be nice and appropriate if your gentlemen did them for you?

1. Opened the car door for you

2. Paid for the majority of the dates

3. Helped you into your coat

4. Pulled out your chair

5. Helped you if you were carrying something heavy

I obtained two college degrees and was making decent money before I married my husband. I was capable of doing things for myself and the few bills that I had, I paid with ease. When Eddie came along he wanted to open my doors, help me with heavy objects, pay for dates, help me with my coat and even gently pull my hair out of my coat for me, after he put my coat on. He did those things during our friendship, courtship, engagement and still during marriage. Though I felt I was an independent and capable woman, I appreciated and enjoyed his chivalrous treatment towards me. I still enjoy and appreciate this about him to this day. My dad was the only man before Eddie that cared for me in such a gentleman way. I think all women should be cared for in such a kind and thoughtful manner.

I don’t understand women who feel that it is weak to let a man open doors and pay for meals. I think it’s good to go back to the old fashion ways courtship and let men be gentleman. If he wants to date you he should ask you, pick u up and pay for you. If he is interested in you, he should give you special treatment and not treat you like one of the boys. Yes you can open your own door but if he wants to be a blessing and open it, it would be a good idea to let him.

**Ladies your thoughts? Gentlemen your thoughts? Please post comments here and not on FB thanks.**

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Single, Successful and Too Independent?

In today’s society women are aimbious, driven and working hard for the money! Women are owning businesses, running companies, getting multiple degrees and holding it down for themselves. Many women don’t need men for anything. Like the Destiny’s Child song “Independent Women,” “The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it, The clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it, The rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it, ‘Cause I depend on me If I want it.”  The question then becomes are women in today’s society too independent for men? 

     

Some women get upset when a man opens the door for them. Others are offended if a man offers to pay for the meal on a date because they have money and don’t need a man to do anything for them. Being independent and successful is a great thing BUT being arrogant and snotty because of it is not. Being in a committed relationship is an added bonus to a woman’s life. Men aren’t everything and you don’t need one to be happy. But many women today wouldn’t know a GOOD MAN if he was staring them right in the face. 

    

Just because a man doesn’t have as much money or as many degrees as you does not make him a bad man. Because a man wants to spoil you doesn’t mean he thinks you need him and his money; he may just want to treat you good and show you how special you are to him.   

   

Sometimes I think women, especially black women, wear a chip on their shoulder when it comes to men and were so cautious about being hurt or reject that we shut people out that are trying to love us. 

  

Many black women feel that loving, trusting and giving herself 100% to a committed relationship is a sign of weakness. Maybe some of these women have been rejected by their fathers, molested by their male relatives, cheated on by past boyfriends and now are saying enough is enough. They devote their lives to their careers and stacking money and they ignore men, love and relationships all together. The rejected child who couldn’t count on anyone to take care of her has now grown up to be a successful beautiful woman whose still carrying around the angry, unforgiveness and rejection of the past. When a man tries to step to her, her past hurts won’t allow her to see the good in him only the possible and potential bad. 

  

 

   

  

Ladies, it is an awesome thing to be independent and successful but if you have things in your past that cause you to be bitter and respond to men in the wrong manner, I encourage you to not hide behind the “I’m independent,  I don’t need nobody,” attitude and give your struggles over to God. Allow Him to heal you of the pain of the past. You don’t have to be successful and alone. You don’t have to hide behind your career goals/dreams and sacrifice your desire for marriage and a family. God is a healer. He created you, He knows every hair on your head. You need to be free from the past so that you can be in a healthy relationship one day. All men aren’t after you for your money/success and all men don’t think your after them for theirs. Be strong, be confident and be independent and be free. If you meet a good man and you have peace about dating him and get to know him. Let him court you and work to get you. Let him love you. You deserve to be loved.

 

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com 

 

   

  

  

 

 

Salute To All The Modern Day Homemakers

Shout out to the modern-day homemakers who are holding it down. We may not make all of our dishes from scratch, make our own clothes and then wash them by hand BUT we are modern-day career women, wives and mothers and were doing an awesome job. Keep up the great work ladies (single, married and all the mothers) Be encouraged and know that your efforts are not going unnoticed! You all do all of these things listed below and so much more! I pray joy, peace, energy, wisdom, love and prosperity for each of you!

Shout out to all the moms who:   

*make sure their children eat healthy meals.  

 *take an active role in their children’s education.   

 *who keep their children on a schedule/routine in order to provide them with   structure.    

*play trucks and Barbies with their children even when their tired.     

  *provide their children with opportunities to get exercise.      

  *teach their children about God and keep them involved in children’s church and youth group activities.       

 *who role model for their children how to be godly ladies and gentlemen.        

 *utilize self-care and take time for themselves, hobbies and gifts/talents.      

Shout out to all the wives who: 

  *hold down the majority of the grocery shopping and cooking. 

 *keep their house clean whether they work inside or outside of the home.  

 *serve their husbands with a cheerful heart and good attitude.    

*make time for recreational companionship.     

*respect their husbands and work hard to walk out 1 Peter 3 and Proverbs 31.      

*meet their husbands sexual needs even when their tired or busy because they understand the importance of coming together as husband and wife.     

*love sex and are unashamed and uninhibited in the bedroom.       

*those that take time for themselves and their hobbies and gifts/talents and utilize self-care.

Shout out to all the single women who: 

 *are holy, fashionable and fabulous.   

  *keep steady jobs and are working towards meeting their career goals.  

 *who keep their house clean and organized.        

 *know how to cook or are learning to cook delicious meals.     

*are preparing themselves spiritually, emotionally and financially for their future husband.      

 *are serving at their churches and working hard to be the best at what God has called them to be.      

 *are confident and love themselves regardless as to whether they have a man or not.       

 *celebrate their singleness and know how to have good clean fun!       

 *utilize self-care and take time for themselves, hobbies and gifts/talents.      

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com

Superwoman: Tips On Multitasking the Right Way

As women, we do a lot! We often have to jungle the kids, cooking, cleaning, talking on the phone and doing the laundry, all at the same time. I have mastered the art of multitasking! I am all about time management! On Saturday mornings, I soak my dishes in the sink, sort the dirty clothes, start the laundry, wash the dishes while the load is washing, talk to my mom or BFF on the phone and have the breakfast cooking on the stove. Oh and I have the bathrooms prepped with Ajax and cleanser so that the bathrooms will be ready to be cleaned when the time comes. This may sound like a lot but it makes me happy to get it all done in a reasonable amount of time. If my honey’s home he’ll help me out but often he works on Saturdays.

I believe that women are better multitaskers than men. As women, we have to move fast and be productive at home with our time because we have lots to do. Thank God for supportive husbands but we still need our multitasking skills! I don’t think men’s brains allow them to do more than 1-2 things at a time. Women do the dishes and clean the kitchen while they cook, men often times don’t clean while they cook. A woman could fold clothes, play with her baby, watch TV and talk on the phone at the same time, many husbands couldn’t do that. Women move fast around the house when company’s on their way, men spend time deep cleaning one room! Often times men need to focus and get things done one at a time. There’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just pointing out the differences.

All the articles that I read on multitasking spoke about the importance of slowing down and doing each task effectively one at a time. These tips can help with work at home or the office. Women, let’s utilize are husbands and other support in our lives more often so that we aren’t burnt out and overwhelmed. Just because we can do everything doesn’t mean we should.

Seymour’s Inside Career Report

Multitasking the Right Way
Tips for juggling multiple tasks effectively

Find your balance.
 
Switching your attention rapidly among projects and people, when done wisely, is stimulating. It adds variety to your day and can help keep you engaged and even increase productivity. However, when the juggling gets out of hand, multitasking can trigger obsessive extremes that become overwhelming and make you inefficient. Strike a balance and find your own comfort zone regarding your duties and obligations. Use your strengths, but also know your limits.

Know when it’s appropriate.

It’s vital to recognize when a certain task requires your undivided attention. When your full attention should be on a single urgent or important task, multitasking is not appropriate and will likely affect the quality of your work on the urgent task. Save multitasking for non-urgent tasks. 

Organize in advance. 

Being organized is essential to effective multitasking. Before leaving work at the end of the day, list all the tasks to be accomplished the next day so you can hit the ground running in the morning. Prioritize your list and check off each task as you complete it.

Manage your time. 

Use a desk organizer to keep track of appointments and deadlines. Make use of a speaker phone or headset to free your hands to do other things while you talk. Stop multitasking and concentrate on a single task for at least 20 minutes throughout the day to allow time to re-energize. Don’t automatically shift your attention to the most recent ‘nanotask’ that crosses your desk.

Get unplugged.

Disruptions are inevitable throughout the day, but don’t let cell phones or pagers waste your time. Bundle non-urgent tasks, such as checking e-mails or returning phone calls, and do them at certain times of the day. When you’re in a meeting, unplug to avoid distractions.

Delegate. 

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “I can do it quicker and better.” Learn to delegate, giving specific instructions and setting realistic deadlines. No matter how proficient you are at multitasking, anyone can be a victim of burnout, and it’s also easier to make mistakes when your brain is on constant overload.

With greater workloads, fewer personnel and longer workweeks, the tendency to cram too many tasks into the workday is hard to resist. But do so at your own risk. Unless multitasking is done effectively and when appropriate, over the long term it can create excessive stress, reduce productivity, and take the fun out of work.

http://www.spherion.com/careers/Seymour_%20Multitasking-June07.jsp