Testimony Time! If He did it for me, He CAN Do It For You!

Revelations 12:11 (KJV) And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony. 

This past Monday, my sister in law invited my husband and I to speak to her college bible study about dating and marriage. This opportunity to share our testimony and encourage believers on a college campus was major for me. Ten years ago, I was a lost 20-year-old college student. I thought I had a relationship with Christ but I hooked up with the wrong crowd and set many of my morals/values on a shelf to become a follower. On Monday while at that bible study, I was in awe of my awesome, faithful and able God because I knew where He’d brought me from. I knew that only because of Christ could I be ministering at a college bible study ten years later; saved, filled with the Holy Spirit, a hunger to grow in God, peace of mind, a drama free lifestyle, a wonderful husband, healthy daughter, two college degrees, a 9 year stable career and so much more. God gets all the glory because He knows just how jacked up I was ten years ago. At 20 I never would have believed that I could be where I am today BUT GOD!! Genesis 50:20 (NIV)  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. God turned my mess into my message.

I told those awesome young people my testimony of being a lost, confused, bitter, unproductive partying college student. I told them how I was raised in a Christian home but didn’t have my own firm foundation and therefore I walked right into temptation when given the chance. I told them how my grades, relationship with God, my parents, my self-esteem and peace of mind all suffered greatly. One day after another failed relationship, I woke up and said enough is enough, this lifestyle sucks, I know God has better for me, Lord help me to live for you and free me of all this junk that’s holding me down. I told them that I had to let go of anything that kept me from going hard after the Lord; I asked the Lord to help free me of any distraction including certain friends, secular music, parties etc. I took it one day at a time until living holy before God no longer took so much effort, it was natural, a lifestyle. I surrounded myself with other Christians, stayed in my word, focused on my relationship with God and graduating. I sought counsel and received restoration from past hurts and I allowed God to have complete control of my life. Because of my repenting, open and willing heart to follow Christ, He was able to do a mighty work in me and help me to help others. I met my husband at Word of Faith. At our church we learned to glorify God in our friendship, courtship, engagement and now marriage. In being faithful to God, He remains faithful to us! God is so good!!

Today I want to encourage those that are going through or who aren’t where they want to be in Christ or even in life. Maybe you hoped to be married or have children by now. Maybe your secretly struggling with an addiction that no one but God knows about. Maybe you’re struggling to finish college or raise children on your own. Whatever your current situation is, I want you to know that God has an AWESOME future for you.  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Please keep praying and keep seeking God. When you mess up, repent and get back up. People in this world, esp your family and friends, need you to walk with Christ so you can be a witness to them one day. Know that God’s there with you, wanting to help you and He will continue to give you the strength you need to keep pressing and growing in Him. He will never leave you or forsake you. Your testimony is on the way so don’t give up! Then you can sit in front of other people who are currently in the shoes you used to be in and boldly say LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE! HE DID IT FOR ME AND HE CAN DO IT FOR YOU!!! GLORY TO GOD HALLELUJAH!!

The Woman I Could’ve Been

People handle trauma differently. Some people shut down and isolate themselves from the world. Some people become promiscuous, looking for love in all the way wrong places. Too many suffer in silence and the silence eventually costs them their relationships, peace and sanity. I thank God for the spiritual foundation my parents gave me, because I knew enough to know that I wanted more for my future besides the anger, bitterness, resentment and fear that I was harboring because of the rape. I knew God had more in store for me. I knew I wanted to get married one day and I wanted/needed to be free from the issues of the past. I actively participated in my counseling sessions and I did my homework assignments. I also kept a journal, wrote poetry, attended church, spent time in prayer and sought Godly counsel. I fought to get my life, my peace, my joy and my sense of security back. It’s only by the grace of God that I made it through. I don’t want to know where I would be without the Lord. He’s brought me too far and has been too good for me to be silent and not want to help others. It could’ve been me, BUT GOD. 

Survivors of sexual assault, incest, childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence find themselves faced with so many issues and emotions. The devil wants them to believe that they’re worthless, alone, ugly, dirty, stupid and at fault for the trauma that they’ve experienced. Because some believe the lies and don’t know how to fight to get better, they maybe subject to go through some of the things in this poem. I wrote the poem, The Woman I Could’ve Been, because its only by the grace of God that I made it through.

The Woman I Could’ve Been

4/12/10

It could’ve been me

So crushed by the rape

That my mind couldn’t escape

The turmoil and pain

To the point that it drove me insane

It could’ve been me

So drowned in my own sorrow

With no hope for tomorrow

Wanting to die

Everyday asking why

It could’ve been me

Pregnant with a “rape baby”

Finding myself questioning if maybe

Abortion was the only way to go

Questioning if my body language or clothes

Told him yes

Even though my mouth told him no

It could have been me

Being aggressively integrated on the stand

Being grilled and humiliated by some rude lawyer man

Who could care less if he was re-victimizing me

As long as he successfully got his guilty client free

It could’ve been me

Hopelessly struggling with low self-esteem and promiscuity

Giving myself to anyone and everyone who would have me

It could’ve been me

But God didn’t let that be

He saw my sorrow

He saw my pain

But He knew that I had so much more to gain

Than to lose

He put the choices in front of me

All I had to do was choose

To surrender my all

And let the anger, hurt and shameful walls fall

Or carry on in all my mess

Thankfully you know how the story ends

You don’t have to guess

It wasn’t an easy road

But I fought to be free

Thanks be to my almighty God

Because it could have been me

POST QUESTION:

Did the contents of this poem remind you of yourself or someone who you know?  If so, what can I do to help? Post a comment or email me at butgodbook@yahoo.com

Genesis 50:20

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

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