Let’s Talk About SEX Baby!

Instead of making a list about the top 12 reasons why premarital sex is bad, I wanted to make a list about the top 12 reasons why married sex is good! Below are reasons why legal, holy sex is the best. I figured if more people knew their value/worth and knew what they could look forward to in waiting, maybe more people would be willing to wait. This topic started as a Facebook discussion yesterday on my status. The list is a collaboration of things my friends and I came up with.

Please read the list and feel free to add to it or post your thoughts.

10 Reasons why legal, holy, married sex is the best.

1) You don’t have to worry about guilt or shame because you know that God is pleased with your actions.

2) You can have passionate, experimental, worry free love making because your spouse is your best friend and you are fully committed to one another.

3) You can wake up the morning after intimacy with your spouse by your side, instead of waking up alone, feeling dirty and empty.

4) With married sex, you’re not using anyone for their body and you’re not getting used. You both want to be together and please ONLY each other.

5) In marriage, I feel safe, protected and cherished while being intimate with my husband. Premarital can cause people to feel lonely, hurt, embarrassed and stressed.

6) With married sex, you don’t have to worry about your spouse leaving you if you get pregnant or leaving you when they see someone who may look better than you.

7) With married sex, you don’t have to be self-conscious or try to impress someone with your skill or body. Married couples should have fun learning what pleases each other. I encourage couples to pray and invite the Holy Ghost into their bedroom. He will lead and guide you and assist you with ensuring your loving making is mind blowing. He will grant you that request because you are in His will.

8 Married sex is a legal, holy, uninhibited, drama free way to physically express your desire and love for one another.

9) Married couples aim to please each other and wholeheartedly serve one another (in and outside of the bedroom) without guilt or shame.

10) In marriage, you and your spouse are one and intimate in every way. You don’t have to worry about getting too close or too attached because the person may leave you. Marriage is FOR LIFE and through the good and the bad, your spouse will always be there.

11) In marriage, you don’t have to sneak around to have sex and worry about getting caught. Married sex is legal and pleasing in God’s sight.

12) Married sex is about love, trust, committment and honesty. You can be yourself and know that your spouse loves you for who you are, not just because you’re giving it up to them. Love doesn’t pressure or demand that people do things for or too them. Love is patient, kind and understanding. When your marriage is good, your sex life is GREAT!!

I just want to say that marriage is about much more than sex. I don’t want people to think that I am implying that that is all married folk do (though some wouldn’t mind that being their main responsibility ) Marriage is about love, commitment, serving one another, giving 100% to each other, communication, meeting each other’s needs, sharing money, time, raising children, working in the ministry together and so much more. Sex is important of marriage though. Sex is what keeps married people close and the bible encourages married folk to not deny one another and to come together often.

I also know that no one’s marriage is perfect, in or outside of the bedroom, and marriage is hard work. Some married folk maybe going through right now and may not agree with this list at all and that’s ok. All I’m saying is, in marriages where Christ is TRULY at the center and both people are honestly trying to live by God’s word, where their committed to him first and then each other, you will find yourself experiencing the things on this list.

I encourage each person, single or married, to abandon the worlds way of thinking about sex, intimacy and marriage, and adopt the Lord’s ways and thoughts. Read your bible, get involved at a local church, hang around other SAVED and HOLY people and watch your life be changed and blessed forever!!

Why Did I Get Married

 I know lots of people have seen the movies Why Did I Get Married and Why Did I Get Married Too. I saw both movies and thought they were entertaining. I can’t say they changed my life or taught me things about marriage that I hadn’t already heard before. The movies did stress the importance of forgiveness, communication, fidelity, honesty etc. I thought both movies had good messages.

When I ask myself why did I get married, the answers were pretty simple. I wanted to get married because I wanted companionship. I wanted a man of God who was faithful, loving and hard-working and fun. A man who I could share my life with and raise godly children with. I wanted to have a marriage that represented Christ and was an example to others. I wanted a wonderful husband to go to bed with each night and wake up next to each morning. I wanted to get married to a man who would make me better and a man who I would make better. These a few of the my reasons.

It always confuses me when I see married couples who act like their still single. In those situations I ask myself, what was the point of them getting married? If people are going to live like they are roommates who occasionally have sex, why did they get married? Some married folk don’t want to share their time, money, career, ministry, body etc with their spouse. They want to have separate friends and separate lives. The problem is, most people don’t understand what marriage is all about when they say I Do!

Marriage is about becoming one. It’s no longer about whats yours and mine, its ours. We need to share and collaborate and be a team. We are in this together, sink or swim, good times and bad. We are to love, cherish, respect, honor, submit, serve, give, give, and give some more to one another. If you don’t want to do these things PLEASE DONT GET MARRIED!!!

Our church and many other churches provide premarital classes or counseling for their congregation and those in the community. It’s really important that all couples seek counseling BEFORE walking down that aisle and saying I Do! So many topics are explored in premarital classes and each topic is explored from a biblical perspective. We wanted to know what the bible said about marriage, sex, raising children, discipline children, in-laws, husband and wives responsibilities, etc. Our church, Word of Faith, does an awesome job of teaching what the bible says about everyday issues and how we can apply the word and walk out the scriptures in our everyday lives. Were all supposed to live according to the word and allow God into all areas of our lives. He is not just an on Sunday God. We need His guidance in all areas.

I’m so thankful that we had and have godly examples of strong marriages around us, the Bible as our guide and the teachings from our church and singles ministry about the purpose, joys and challenges of marriage. Too many people get married blindly for the wrong reasons and their marriages end quickly. Even Christians are getting divorced at an alarming rate these days.

Messages to Singles

I encourage single folk to ask themselves, why do I want to get married? Ask those around you that are saved and happily married about what they enjoy about marriage and what challenges they have faced. Pray and seek God about what needs to be changed and sharpened on the inside of you regarding your preparation for marriage. There are pros and cons to singlehood, married life and parenthood. Remember to be content in all stages of life and don’t let anything cause you to feel anxious about when your time will come. We must all remember that God knows best!!

Here are some secular quotes about marriage that I thought were sort of interesting. Any thoughts?

Quotes on Marriage from About.com

1) “A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life. – Joseph Addison

2) I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.” – Anna Quindlen, A Short Guide to a Happy Life

3) “Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.” – Amy Bloom

4) Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” – Joanne Woodward

5) “We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.” – Ellen Goodman

6) “Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” – Samuel Johnson

7) “Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.” – Goethe

8 “A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.” – Don Fraser

9) “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin


Question: Married folk, what were the top 3 reasons why you got married? Single folk, why do you desire to get married?

What the bible says about marriage:

Ephesians 5:22-33

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.