Marriage, Motherhood and The Bedroom

I was watching The View and they were talking about how allegedly Tori Spelling’s experiencing marital challenges. Reportedly, Tori’s husband made a statement that black-couple-cuddlingthey were having marital problems because they weren’t having frequent sex now that they have four children. One of the ladies on The View stated that they’ve had four children in six years and it was odd that the husband did not think that having many children close in age would affect their sex life. This issue made me think about intimacy after parenthood. Often times it becomes challenging to find the time and energy to come together, but as married couples we must find a way to stay connected and pleasing to one another!

1 Corinthians 7:2-6 (Message Bible) tells us God’s desire for the marriage bed.

2-6 Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

My husband and I waited until three years into marriage to have our first child. We enjoyed getting to know one another and adjusting to married life before we added any little ones to the equation. We weren’t sexually active before marriage, therefore we wanted plenty of time to come together and love on one another without the responsibilities of children. Now we have two daughters who will be 3 and 1 this year. While our lives are forever changed for the better now that we are parents, our desire to remain intimate frequently isn’t as easy to accomplish with a baby and toddler running around.

My husband is always ready for the lovin to begin but I am often tired and focused on so many things that it takes me a moment to whined down and get ready. When I allow myself to be present and focus on our love, we always have aN amazing time of passion. For me it’s making the decision to give my husband my all and when I do I’m always glad that I did!! After 5 1/2 years we still got it!!

After speaking to several mommy friends, I’ve discovered that many of them feel the same way. But one thing none of us want to do is make our husband’s feel like we don’t desire them or have time for them. Husbands and wives need to feel adored and desired. No one wants to feel like they always have to beg for attention or that their spouse is often too tired.

With this being said, I developed a short list of ways for wives to communicate their needs to their husbands and ensure that they find ways to come together frequently despite the hustle and bustle of life and parenthood. Check them out and let me know what you think. Before we review the list I wanted to share that wives have high sex drives too and we want to please and be pleased. Husbands and wives both have a part to play in meeting each others needs. Husbands need to make sure they aren’t too busy or too tired for their wives emotionally and physically as well.

1. Communicate your need for rest, affection, sex, help around the house and with the kids etc. Often times as women, once we feel understood, appreciated and supported, we’re better able to relax and feel more comfortable in the bedroom.

2. Consider scheduling your lovin to ensure that you get it in. I know it may sound boring, but it maybe helpful if you and your husband are both busy with a lot on your plate. You want to make time for one another so that too many days or weeks don’t go by before you come together again. Sometimes for women, when we know tonight is the night, we can get mentally and emotionally prepared throughout the day. We can save energy and think sexy thoughts so that we’re geared up and ready when the time comes. Try it and see if it works for you.

3. Nap time is a great time. Times when you and your husband are both home when the children are sleeping, try to take advantage of the quiet house and sneak away to enjoy one another. It’s very helpful to try to get your smaller children on the same nap and night time schedule so that you’re able to get rest, have some me time and we time! Of course this is easier said then done, but with consistency and patience, it will work out with time. Sometimes you’ll have to send the children to their rooms and put on a movie. After everyone’s safe and secure, you two go in your room, lock the door and focus on pleasing one another.

4. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your extremely long to do list, talk to your husband about helping you in the areas of his choice. Example: Honey I’d love to be more available to you sexually, but by the time the children are in bed I’m so tired that all I want to do is pass out. Do you think you’re able to help me by taking a few things off my list during the week to give me some relief? You could pick a few things from the following list and it would be very helpful to me: cook a meal or two a week, help with the dishes, laundry, the kids bath time or homework. Continue to explain that if you two work together as a team and get things done, you will have more time available to focus on pleasing him and being pleased yourself.

5. Learn to turn off your “mommy mind” and relax. Yes there are bills that need to be paid, dishes and laundry that need to be washed and children that need bathes. This will ALWAYS be the case. The job of a wife and mother is NEVER done and that’s ok. We have to have peace knowing that everything won’t be perfect. Sometimes my husband seeks me out for lovin and I feel frustrated inside thinking “doesn’t he know how much work there is to be done,” or “he knows I’m tired,” but when I really think about it, what do those things have to do with us coming together? When we have needs of any kind, we are to try our best to fulfill those needs for one another without excuses and attitudes. My husband shows me affection and tries to help me relax. I desire him but sometimes sex is not on my mind so I say a silent prayer and I ask God to help me clear my mind and to give me energy. We must do whatever we need to in order to rock his world and allow him to rock ours! Our husband’s should never be last on our list; they need us and we need them. Sex is good and pleasing in God’s sight! So talk to your husband, figure out what works best for you two and GO GET IT ON!! LOL

Boyz To Men: 5 Signs that He’s A Man and No Longer A Boy

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Let God make a man out of him, before you try to make a husband out of him ~ Author Unknown.

No woman wants to date a boy, let alone marry one. As women, we need to make sure we pay attention to the signs that the men in our lives show us. If he shows you that he’s immature and selfish please don’t ignore the signs.

Back in the day when I was in college, I dated a few boys trying to stunt like they were men. They showed me from the beginning that they weren’t focused on anyone but themselves. I was desperately wanting not to be single, therefore I continued wasting my time, trying to make something out of nothing. Funny how I had the nerve to get mad when things went south, when really the relationships lived in the south pole. I thank God for deliverance and opening my eyes and renewing my mind. Once I allowed God to make a woman of godliness, holiness, focus, determination and purpose, my self esteem went up and my priorities changed.

Once a man has a true relationship with God, he won’t want to waste your time or break your heart. When men submit their flesh to God, the last thing they want to do is hit it and quit it. If they want it they will put a ring on it. Remember ladies, love is committment.

Signs that a man has allowed God to make a man out of him:

1. He’s sold out for Jesus and unashamed of the gospel of Christ.

2. His focus is to live holy and please God.

3. He understands that dating is to get to know someone for marriage. Yes he wants to have fun but his goal is to find the right woman for him, not to have sex or just to have a pretty girl on his arm.

4. He’s faithful to God and to you. By faithful to God I mean, he has a relationship with God, church home, a prayer life and living according to the word of God. No he is not perfect but he strives to be more like Christ. If he’s working hard to be faithful to God, he will try his best to be faithful to you, God’s daughter.

5. He’s giving of his time and money to God, you and others. He isn’t selfish, he’s looking for ways to be a blessing to those around him.

Ladies, allow God to make a man out of the man you have your eyes on. Once he’s molded into the man that God has created him to be, he will be ready to be all that you need him to be. If he’s not committed to God, he can’t be committed to you. Being single, happy and in the will of God is a blessing, dating out of God’s will and being unhappy is not a blessing.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

When my husband Eddie and I met, we both were young (early 20’s) and had just gotten out of relationships with other people. We were fairly new to our church and were getting involved, making friends and learning about developing a personal relationship with Jesus. Eddie knew that God was still making a man out of him and he was not ready for a serious relationship leading towards marriage, therefore he did not step to me in a romantic way. We developed a friendship and just got to know each other in a group setting since we were blessed to hang in the same circle. As time went on and we continued to develop and mature spiritually, emotionally and financially, we both felt peace to begin dating and planning our future together.

I am not the type of Christian that believes that everyone’s testimony should be like mine. I am not saying that everyone has to do things how we did them. Each person needs to seek God, his word and other godly counsel around them (friends, parents, pastor etc) in order to know when their ready to date and for counsel and accountability regarding who they should date. No one wants to waste their time or get their heart broken. A way to avoid these things is to date with a purpose. After a few dates, you should know if the person is worth continuing to see because you have the same morals, values, beliefs and interest, or if you if it’s time to part ways because there isn’t anything therefore. At the right time, you will meet the guy for you, in the mean time, be single and fabulous and enjoy this wonderful journey called life! Travel, pursue God and your purpose, shop, work, play, make friends, and enjoy every moment!!

Why Good Lovin Body Rockin Knocking Boots Aint Worth Dying For

In 1993 H-Town released a hit record called “Knockin Da Boots.” I was 12 years old and I thought the group was so cute and the song was so cool. Of course my parents did not allow me to listen to secular music, esp something as vulgar as that song, so I snuck when they weren’t around. As a child I didn’t understand the lyrics, let alone the seriousness of being sexually active before marriage and the physical, emotional and spiritual death that occurs from it.

Sex sales and the message and pressures to have sex and be sexual is everywhere (music, movies, fasion etc). What’s not everywhere is the truth, which is that sex outside of marriage is dangerous, lonely and drama filled. People fight for their right to be promiscuous saying it’s their body and they can do what they want with it. STDs and AIDs are at an all time high and as well as children being born to single parents. Sex outside of marriage isn’t safe. It pulls you further and further away from God and brings upon physical and emotional problems that most don’t think about until everything around them is falling apart.

I was not a virgin when I got married so I can tell you first hand about the drama, shame, loneliness, angry and confusing feelings that come alone with sex outside of marriage. I rededicated my life to Christ in 2002 and a few years later met my husband at our church and got married. You can only imagine my amazement at discovering how beautiful, passionate, safe, giving and SMOKIN HOT love-making was inside of my covenant trusting relationship with my husband. I didn’t have to worry about him getting me pregnant or giving me a disease. Because we both love Christ and have him at the center, we don’t allow any person, porn, sex toys etc inside our bed to defile what God has blessed us with. We love each other and aim to please each other. Want to experience awesome safe sex? The solution is simple, live holy, trust God to send you a mate to that believes your worth the wait, get married and then enjoy all the free, safe, faithful love making that you want. Watch God honor your marriage and love-making when you do things the right way. 

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (MSG)

 16-20There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Read these 10 STD facts below and ask yourself, if sex outside of marriage worth all of that?

  • By 2010, at least 35 million children will have lost one or both parents to AIDS.ed
  • A girl is four times more likely to contract an STI/STD than she is to become pregnant.d
  • Unprotected anal intercourse with a partner whose status for STIs/STDs is unknown is the highest-risk sexual practice.k
  • Each year there are approximately 333 million new cases of STDs in the world, according to the CDC.j
  • Over 25 million people globally have died of AIDS since 1981.e
  • The estimated number of people living in the U.S. with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. One in two sexually active people will contact an STD/STI before the age of 25.j
  • While some STIs/STDs—such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis—are curable, if left untreated, they can cause death, infertility, chronic pain, serious birth defects, and miscarriages.d
  • Many sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, can be transmitted through oral sex.i
  • The rate of chlamydia among African-American men is more than 11 times that of white men. Additionally, African-Americans remain the group most heavily affected by gonorrhea. In 2004, the gonorrhea rate among blacks was 19 times the rate among whites.d
  • Although African-Americans make up only 13% of the U.S. population, they accounted for one half of the estimated new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 2004.e
 
Prayer for sexual purity
 
Lord help us to live holy before you. Help us not to give into the lies of the world. Help us to focus on your promises for our future. Lord help us to glorify you in our mind, body and emotions. Send us believers to do life together so that we do not have to walk this Christian journey alone. Help the single saints to be content in their time of singlehood. Help them to stay focused on their goals and keep their eyes on you. Help the married saints to commit their marriages to you and not allow anything to taint the family that you’ve blessed them with. Lord thank you for your mercy and for forgiving us of our past sins and helping us to live right before you daily. Give us the desire and strength needed to leave any relationships or entertainment alone that  causes us to fall into sin. Thank you Lord for always being faithful and loving towards us. We trust you with our lives Lord. In Jesus name amen!

How Mama Got Her Groove Back

Being a mother is one of the most beautiful, intense, challenging and precious gifts in the world. I’m still amazed that I’m a mother and that God blessed us with such an amazing baby girl! I’m forever grateful to God for answering our prayers regarding becoming parents. Mommies, on the most challenging days, we must remember that some women would give anything to have a baby to potty train or chase around the house and clean up after. Moms we’re truly blessed!

Unforunately, often times us mommies lose ourselves in actively raising our children and caring for our husbands and homes. Self care is important and we must make it a habit to take time for ourselves! Ok moms, put down your brief case, dishes or the baby and listen up. Here are 3 tips to help you get your groove back!!!

1. Wear clothes that flatter your post pregnancy body. Don’t allow yourself to feel less confident or guilty because you may not be able to fit all of your old clothes just yet. Getting the baby weight off is usually a process and that’s ok. Your beautiful how you are! We must all learn to work what our mama’s gave us!!

 I’ve lost 60 pounds since having my baby girl so I have the opposite frustrating problem; ALL of my clothes are too big! I’ve had to dig through the closet for the clothes I haven’t been able to fit in years and freshen them up so I don’t have to walk around naked 🙂 The point is, when we wear clothes that flatter our body type, we look neat, sexy, professional and like we’ve got our groove back. The other day I was going through my clothes and I found a cute fitted sweater and the blazer that I usually wear with it. My husband encouraged me to not wear the blazer and to be proud of my new slim body. I felt empowered in the sweater because I felt girlie and sexy because I had on clothes that fit and flattered my shape. 

2. Start incorporating cute accessories or heels (if your really daring lol) back into your wardrobe every now and then. I just started wearing heels in October and my daughter was born in April! The main reason I wasn’t wearing heels was because I felt like I was always dragging a million things around (car seat, stroller, diaper bag, my purchase) and I didn’t need the hassle of trying to balance all of that while wearing heels. Clearly I was never a professional heel wearer because then it would’ve been a breeze! In October, we went out and I decided to wear some cute heels boots that I can’t remember the last time I wore them. It was fun to be a hot wife out with her fine husband; it was like we were dating again! We had lots of fun while Elyssa was safe at home with her grandparents!

3. For the married mommies, let’s talk about the importance of date night and sex! Even though you may be tired from the joys of motherhood and working in or outside the home, your hubby still needs time and intimacy with only you. Try to schedule maybe two date nights a month, where you and your hubby send the children away for a few hours or have a sitter come to your house and you two go somewhere. My husband and I went to grab an early dinner and then just sit at Starbucks and laugh and talk, WOW did it feel so good! I got to wear a cute purse and heels and not have to stop to nurse, change any diapers or search for her pacifier; it was great!

Ok now on to the good stuff, SEX! Intimacy is very important in marriage and no matter how busy or fatigued we are, we MUST make time to come together with our husbands. Sometimes I feel so tired but my husband’s affection and attention helps to settle me and get me in the mood. He wants to please me and I want to please him. Of course our daughter sometimes hinders our plans (I jokingly say she has sexdar like radar) but we work to get her back to sleep so that we can get back to catering to one another. I know some people reading this will think it’s TMI but I hope I’m helping to save a few marriages with my honesty. Ladies, I know some days your covered in baby food with laundry stacked to the ceiling but during those moments, please don’t push your husband away. Kindly let him know you need his help around the house or with the baby, and when the house is settled, spend some time making each other a priority. Laugh, talk, cuddle and make love frequently. Work to make your spouse your true BFF, after all, marriage is for life!!

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I Think The Proverbs 31 Woman Liked It On Top

Our precious baby girl, Elyssa Janee, is now 7 weeks old and the doctor cleared me to began being intimate with my husband again. This was exciting news for both of us! All throughout our marriage but esp during my pregnancy and after giving birth, my husband continues to compliment me on my body, telling me how beautiful and desirable I am. His words give me confidence and help me to desire intimacy with him because I feel loved and accepted by him.

I came across an awesome post by Julie Sibert called “I Think The Proverbs 31 Woman Liked It On Top.” The post is about Christian wives and the importance of them having sexual confidence in the marriage bed. Julie’s post about the Proverbs 31 Woman was posted on http://www.stupendousmarriage.com/proverbs-31-wife-liked-being-on-top Julie is a writer and speaker on sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at Intimacy In Marriage. I found the post to be helpful, encouraging, lighthearted and humorous (esp during my new season of sex after baby). Check it out and let me know what you think.

A significant number of Christian wives with whom I speak struggle with this (for a variety of reasons, but let’s stay focused here). They think that sexual confidence with their husband is incongruent with being a modest Christian wife.

Such a conclusion doesn’t show up blatantly in any Bible study or even in the Bible.

Nonetheless, the subtle (albeit false) implication still manages to weave its way into the hearts of wives everywhere – to become sexually expressive and responsive would somehow tarnish their integrity and faith.

The Proverbs 31 Wife

Enter stage right my friend and mentor: The Proverbs 31 Wife. Okay, I didn’t know her personally, but like a lot of you, I’ve read all about her being a woman of noble character (Prov. 31:10-31). Several Christian women loathe her, because they see her as a completely improbable standard – a poster child for inaccessible ideals.

Personally, I like the gal. She took charge, kept her kids in line, walked in her giftedness and helped her community. I mean come on, she was buying property and making profits at a time when it probably wasn’t very common for women to be business owners. She had a vineyard for crying out loud. She rocks in my book.

The Proverbs 31 Wife loved her husband, and loved him well. I can only fathom that all that confidence spilled over into their bed. I would be willing to guess she liked being on top occasionally, where she could lead sexually, bring about pleasure for both herself and her husband, and add some variety to their sexual landscape. It would seem to me what would be incongruent for her is to be a strong woman of faith by day and then lack confidence when getting intimate with her Beloved at night.

God clearly said in 1 Cor. 7:3-5 that husbands and wives should not withhold their bodies from each other. There is a tone of mutuality in these verses that cuts to the chase for me. Combine this with the fact that orgasm was God’s idea and that He equipped male and female bodies with the ability to orgasm. Seems clear that sexual pleasure and intimate oneness is meant to be a shared endeavor for husbands and wives.

Is That Type of Sexual Confidence Even Possible?

I’m not naïve. I don’t make light of the fact that some couples traverse through deep struggles sexually. What I do know is that my heart is all about speaking hope and encouragement to married couples on a variety of aspects of sexual intimacy, some light and some heartbreakingly hard. I know that if I asked 100 husbands if they would like their wives to be more sexually confident in bed, about 98 of them would respond unequivocally with a “yes.” Some may even cast absurd looks at me, as if to say, “Do you even have to ask this question?!”

If you struggle with sexual confidence as a Christian wife, plead with God to reveal to you His vision for sexual intimacy. Dig into Prov. 31:10-31, Song of Songs, and 1 Cor. 7. Have a vulnerable discussion with the man with whom you fell in love and married, pledging your heart, soul and body. (You did pledge your body, even if the pastor didn’t speak one word about sex).

When it comes to sexual confidence, I’m not talking about variety for variety’s sake. I’m talking about honest connection, truth and mutual responsibility for sexual expression.

I definitely think the Proverbs 31 Wife liked being on top. And if she were around today, I’d sit with her in her vineyard, talk about marriage and life, and drink good wine. Want to read more about what sexual confidence looks like and how you can learn to be more sexually confident, visit my post
http://intimacyinmarriage.com/2010/06/07/five-truths-about-sexual-confidence/

3 Reasons To Make Him Wait For Sex

I truly  believe in the statement “true love waits.” When two people love each other, they don’t pressure one another into doing things that will harm them or jeopardize their relationship. Today’s society teaches us to do what feels good and be as liberal as we want to be BUT where has that gotten us? Teenage pregnancy, AIDs and STDs, adultery leading to divorce and single parent homes, all in the name of “just do what feels good.” That motto is a lie from the pit of hell and DON’T you believe it! God encourages us to be pure in our bodies so that we can be protected from drama, hurt, shame, loneliness, death and eternity in hell. The spiritual answer to why wait to have sex until marriage is to obey God and His word and to remain holy and pure in our bodies until saying I Do. 1 Cor 6:18-20. Here are three practical  answers to add to that.

Please know that this is a general list. I am not speaking about all men or all women. Also, I am not trying to speak negatively of men, I’m merely trying to be honest with women about why giving up the goods can lead to more problems than it’s worth.

3 Reasons To Make Him Wait For Sex

1. Sex changes things. The moment you give in and become intimate with a man things change. The chase is sometimes over and therefore he may no longer work as hard to win your affection or get to know you. Men like a challenge, they like to pursue women, court them, in hopes of winning their heart and/or to get them in bed. You will find out a lot about a man if you make him wait for sex. If he hits the door running the moment you tell him that you’re not going to sleep with him, then you know what he was all about. A man can tell you how much he loves you and be extra patient in his pursuit to get you into bed but the moment that happens, there’s a possibility that he will leave as fast as he came (pun intended)

2. Sex can lead to pregnancy and single parent homes. Too often, women give into the pressures of sex and end up pregnant and alone. The same man who was whispering in your ear that you were beautiful and the only one for him, is the same man who went off on you and left when you said you were pregnant. Please know that when you make the choice to be sexually active, there’s a possibility that you can become pregnant. Ask yourself, is the person that I’m sleeping with or considering sleeping with would be good husband and father material. If the answer is no, then get out the bed, put your dress back on and RUN. Ladies lets stop being naive. Let’s stop opening ourselves up to sin, drama and single parenthood.

3. Your body is sacred and everyone doesn’t deserve a ride. As women, once we know our value and worth, we change who we associate with, where we go, what we say and how we dress. Once you discover that your more than a sex object, more than big boobs and booty, more than the expensive clothes and the weave that you rock, you begin to carry yourself differently and in turn attract a different type of man. A mature, modest, godly woman understands that her body is a precious temple and will attract a man who is searching for a woman to love and marry, not a woman to screw and leave. It’s important to look good and keep your appearance up but ladies please know that looks aren’t everything and neither is having a man on your arm. You don’t just want a man, you want the right man who God has for you in His perfect timing.

Ladies, I encourage you to surround yourself with other strong, positive and productive women. Read your bible and attend a women’s ministry at a local church. If you’re in a relationship and having sex, consider abstinence and explain why to your partner. If his response is negative and he threatens to leave, then you have your answer regarding what your relationship was based on. You want love, not lust. Love last forever but lust last only a moment. Also lust can never be fulfilled, which is why many people cheat.

The Middle Ground Between The Chastity Belt and Girls Gone Wild

 

In today’s sexualized society, there has to be a middle ground between feeling like you need to wear a chastity belt to remain pure and falling head first into the sexual revolution. I believe the media has fed women so many lies about sexuality and now many of us are paying the hurtful price behind believing those lies. Checkout the definitions of chastity belt and sexual revolution.

Wikipedia defines a chastity belt as  a locking item of clothing designed to prevent sexual intercourse. They may be used to protect the wearer from rape or temptation. Some devices have been designed with additional features to prevent masturbation. Chastity belts have been created for males and females. According to modern myth the chastity belt was used as an anti-temptation device during the Crusades. When the knight left for the Holy Lands on the Crusades, his Lady would wear a chastity belt to preserve her faithfulness to him.

The sexual revolution (sexual liberation”) encompasses the changes in social thought and codes of behaviour related to sexuality throughout the Western world that took place from the 1960s into the 1970s.Sexual liberalisation was the beginning of an acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships (primarily marriage).[3] Contraception and the pill, public nudity, the normalisation of homosexuality and alternative forms of sexuality, and the legalization of abortion all followed.

As a married woman, I strongly believe in women being free in marriage to please their husbands and be pleased as well as often as they want to. Sex is good, sex is important, sex is fun and pleasing in God’s sight. The problem is so many women have brought the world’s lies about what sex and what being sexually free really means. In many women’s fight to kill the double standard between men and women, some have chosen to become just as irresponsible, slutty, cold-hearted and promiscuous as the men who’ve hurt them in the past. Everyone should be responsible and safe when it comes to sex. No one should misuse, abuse, lie, cheat and jump in and out of bed with multiple partners.

As a Christian, I believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I know first hand how hurtful, lonely, confusing, disappointing, dangerous and depressing casual sex can be. I thank God for His healing and restoring power. When I turned my life over to Christ, I found the hope, joy, peace, comfort, strength, wisdom, self-confidence and love that I was missing and looking for in all the wrong places. Now I have been extremely blessed with a husband who loves God, loves me and faithful and dedicated to only me. My husband was a virgin when we got married and from the day we met until this very second, he continues to show me what true, holy godly love really is. Ladies there is nothing like it in the whole wide world.

Women don’t fight for your right:

1. To have your body used and then forgotten about by men who don’t really love you or themselves.

2. Get pregnant and left all alone to struggle to raise a child or children.

3. Get STD’s and/or AIDs. African American women have the highest AIDs rate than any other population.

4. Be emotionally and mentally drained, hurt, angry and bitter because of the sexual choices you’ve made with the wrong men.

You don’t have to wear a chastity belt and be afraid of men or the thought of sexual pleasure BUT you don’t have to be apart of the girls gone wild movement either. Have respect for yourself, have standards for the men that you date and understand that you are more than a sex object/baby maker. Read 1 Cor 13 and find out what real love is. When you know who you are and what your worth, you won’t waste another day letting someone treat you like trash.

Here’s an interesting article about the lie behind the sexual liberation movement.

http://www.goodmorals.org/kersten.htm

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