Boyz To Men: 5 Signs that He’s A Man and No Longer A Boy

image

Let God make a man out of him, before you try to make a husband out of him ~ Author Unknown.

No woman wants to date a boy, let alone marry one. As women, we need to make sure we pay attention to the signs that the men in our lives show us. If he shows you that he’s immature and selfish please don’t ignore the signs.

Back in the day when I was in college, I dated a few boys trying to stunt like they were men. They showed me from the beginning that they weren’t focused on anyone but themselves. I was desperately wanting not to be single, therefore I continued wasting my time, trying to make something out of nothing. Funny how I had the nerve to get mad when things went south, when really the relationships lived in the south pole. I thank God for deliverance and opening my eyes and renewing my mind. Once I allowed God to make a woman of godliness, holiness, focus, determination and purpose, my self esteem went up and my priorities changed.

Once a man has a true relationship with God, he won’t want to waste your time or break your heart. When men submit their flesh to God, the last thing they want to do is hit it and quit it. If they want it they will put a ring on it. Remember ladies, love is committment.

Signs that a man has allowed God to make a man out of him:

1. He’s sold out for Jesus and unashamed of the gospel of Christ.

2. His focus is to live holy and please God.

3. He understands that dating is to get to know someone for marriage. Yes he wants to have fun but his goal is to find the right woman for him, not to have sex or just to have a pretty girl on his arm.

4. He’s faithful to God and to you. By faithful to God I mean, he has a relationship with God, church home, a prayer life and living according to the word of God. No he is not perfect but he strives to be more like Christ. If he’s working hard to be faithful to God, he will try his best to be faithful to you, God’s daughter.

5. He’s giving of his time and money to God, you and others. He isn’t selfish, he’s looking for ways to be a blessing to those around him.

Ladies, allow God to make a man out of the man you have your eyes on. Once he’s molded into the man that God has created him to be, he will be ready to be all that you need him to be. If he’s not committed to God, he can’t be committed to you. Being single, happy and in the will of God is a blessing, dating out of God’s will and being unhappy is not a blessing.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

When my husband Eddie and I met, we both were young (early 20’s) and had just gotten out of relationships with other people. We were fairly new to our church and were getting involved, making friends and learning about developing a personal relationship with Jesus. Eddie knew that God was still making a man out of him and he was not ready for a serious relationship leading towards marriage, therefore he did not step to me in a romantic way. We developed a friendship and just got to know each other in a group setting since we were blessed to hang in the same circle. As time went on and we continued to develop and mature spiritually, emotionally and financially, we both felt peace to begin dating and planning our future together.

I am not the type of Christian that believes that everyone’s testimony should be like mine. I am not saying that everyone has to do things how we did them. Each person needs to seek God, his word and other godly counsel around them (friends, parents, pastor etc) in order to know when their ready to date and for counsel and accountability regarding who they should date. No one wants to waste their time or get their heart broken. A way to avoid these things is to date with a purpose. After a few dates, you should know if the person is worth continuing to see because you have the same morals, values, beliefs and interest, or if you if it’s time to part ways because there isn’t anything therefore. At the right time, you will meet the guy for you, in the mean time, be single and fabulous and enjoy this wonderful journey called life! Travel, pursue God and your purpose, shop, work, play, make friends, and enjoy every moment!!

STOP Trippin & START Trustin

strength

Hey you, YES YOU! STOP trippin and START trustin!! Remember God’s got you. I know it looks bad. I know you’ve been waiting and praying and waiting and praying but so what, keep trustin, keep believing!! I promise you, God hasn’t forgotten you. Even though it may look bad, remember that He’s BIGGER, He’s STRONGER, He’s ABLE and He’s FAITHFUL!! God cares about your needs, He cares about your pain. He has awesome plans for you. Don’t let life beat you down. Get up, talk to God, seek His face, and follow HIS plan. Seek encouragement and godly counsel from those around you. We all need help, we all need support. I just want to encourage you today to know that you’re not alone. This battle is not yours, it’s the Lords! Get up, put your boxing gloves on and get back in the fight. Below are your tools to fight the feelings of fear, failure anxiety today. Read those scriptures, mediate on them and hide them in your heart. Today will be an awesome day and victory is headed your way!! AMEN!!!!!!

Nehemiah 8:10 AMP Be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Luke 12:6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Learning To Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Toss out the Romanic Myths and Seek The Truth

Your soulmate is the person who mends your broken heart by simply giving you theirs ~ author unknown.

I saw this quote on a FB friend’s page and I thought it would be interesting to write a post about it. While the quote and pic are good intentioned and seemingly romantic, I think the message is actually dangerous. No one can heal us but God. It helps to have positive loving people around us, but they can’t heal us.

3 Reasons Why God is the Answer to Your Pain

1. 1 John 3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.

There isn’t a love greater than the love that Christ has for us. He died for our sins and rose on the third day, so that we can be healed and set free. We love Christ because He first loved us. Often times we get caught up in what looks like romance and happiness BUT if it doesn’t please Christ, it isn’t his will for us. God heals, he saves, he lives to make us whole again. No one can love us unconditionally like Christ.

2. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The only one who can heal our bodies, emotions and make our life better is God. We have to be careful not to try to make our significant others our savior. No man or woman can heal our hearts or take away our pain. Have you ever seen a woman date a good man (he’s faithful, a gentleman, honest, open and drama free) and she still treats him like he’s one of the dogs that she’s dated in the past. That’s because no matter how much that man loved on her, he couldn’t take away the pain of her past. God loves us so much, that no matter what wrong we’ve done or that’s been done to us, He is waiting, ready and willing to love on us, restore us and make us whole again. Restoration comes when we submit to Gods will and focus on pleasing him, NOT man.

3. Matthew 9:22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

It’s important for us to have faith in God, knowing that He alone is the answer to all of our problems. When we put our faith in people, at some point we find ourselves frustrated and disappointed because man fails us but God never fails. When we submit to the Lord, putting all of our issues on the altar, He is always faithful to meet us right where we’re at and start the process of making us new again. Some healing is instant and others healing is a process. As long as we keep our eyes on the cross, we know that our break through is on the way.

I Am NOT NeNe Leaks and Neither Are My Friends. Why Reality TV is Doing Us All More Harm Then Good

Reality TV madness is now apart of our everyday lives. It feels like on every other channel there’s a reality show where people are fighting, sexing or getting drunk. Today’s youth have horrible role models like Snooki and NeNe Leaks and that breaks my heart. While I do not know these women personally, the behavior that they portait on TV is nasty, rude and wreckless. As god fearing, hard-working, drama free people in society, we must make sure we’re stepping up to the plate and positively impacting those around us. Everyone isn’t getting drunk, sleeping with anything that walks and yelling curse words from the moment they wake up till they go to sleep; it’s just an act for TV!

As parents and loved ones to children and teens, we must work hard to teach them why they can’t listen to the inappropriate messages of those like Katie Perry and Lady Gaga. We must introduce them to positive, holy yet still entertaining TV shows, movies, books and music. I’m not suggesting that our children live in a bubble but they shouldn’t be thrown into the crazy world to soak up all the junk and figure things out for themselves either. We must have standards, morals/values and be our children’s heroes and roles models, NOT degrading rappers like Lil Wayne! The world can not have our children!

Every other Tuesday I host a Christian married mommies book club. I love this group of women. We are all educated, hard-working, dedicated women whom are always looking for ways to glorify God in our lives, marriages and parenting. We explore ways to help build our husbands up not tare them down. We talk about how to keep it HOT with a capital H in the bedroom on a regular!! We read books about how to be better Christians and mothers. We laugh, cry and pray together. There isn’t any drama or competition. We love God, our families, each other and ourselves. I can count on these women to pray with and for me, to call or text me when I’m going through and to give me a word from God on the spot when I’m too upset to think straight. True friendship is worth more than all the riches in the world. (Let me state that this is not my only group of friends, I have many other amazing ladies in my life. This is just the group I’m discussing in this post)

Sadly, our story of positivity probably would never get any form of media attention because nothing super juicy is happening. If we were being caddy and rude to one another and arguing over who has more money and whose husband is the finest, then we could call it The Real Housewives of Detroit and everyone would tune in. But because we’re 9 women who look different, think different, have different household situations but are confident, loving and excepting of one another, many wouldn’t think that it would make a good show.

If you desire to start a business, get married, start a family, start a ministry etc you need to hook up with people who are successful in that area and make them your mentor. If you want to fail at life then follow the fake reality TV celebs and others in the entertainment biz who are completely lost and clueless themselves. I used to watch the Real Housewives of ATL a few years back and one day my husband said something profound to me. He asked me why I wasted my time watching a show filled with drama that was teaching me what type of wife or woman NOT to be. I decided that since I needed to keep working on my attitude, I shouldn’t watch TV shows that continue to show women arguing, cursing and neck rolling. I want to glorify God in my home as and watching junk on TV won’t help me to do that.

What are you watching? Who are you hanging around? Are you a positive or negative role model to those around you? Do your children see God in you? Do you respect your husband as God commands you too? Each of us needs to examine ourselves daily and ask God to show us how to be better. Thank you Jesus for your mercy, grace and love and the opportunity to get it right after we’ve messed up.

My Journey To The Fab New Me & My 200th Blog Post!

Happy 200th blog post!! Thank you to everyone for reading, supporting and commenting! March 31 is my blogs 2 year anniversary. The blog has currently received over 60,000 hits! I love what God is doing through me to bless others! Please keep reading and I will continue to be led by the Holy Spirit regarding what to post!

My Journey To The Fabulous New Me

Recently, I went out on a date with my husband and to my surprise, it took me a minute to find my make up. I had to stop and ask myself how long it had been since I put anything besides lipstick on?? Then I wanted to wear my contacts (because I’ve been sporting my glasses for almost the last two years) but I didn’t have any contact solution in the house. I told myself that it was time to bring back the old me and step it up a notch! I missed the old me who wasn’t always running around the house grabbing diaper bags, packing baby food and combing her hair in the car. I love being a mom but I decided that I needed to make time for it all and be fabulous in the process!

Last Friday, I worked a half day then took 2hrs to do some shopping for myself, by myself. It was a warm winter day and the sun was shinning! For Michigan weather, this was a big deal! By the time I was done, I had purchased 3 pair of earrings, make up, contact solutions and other hair care and hygiene products. I also stopped to get my eyebrows arched; something that I never seem to do on a consistent basis but that’s about to change. My hair dresser was out-of-town so I asked my mom to come over and help me do my hair. I was tired of not slowing down and taking the time I needed for me. It’s no ones fault but my own. My husband is super helpful and he tries to get me to relax and not do so much but sometimes it’s hard for me to just sit down. I needed to make myself slow down and make myself a priority and over the last six days I’ve done just that!

Once my hair was washed, pressed and bouncy, I put on my contacts, make up and earrings.  I looked like a new woman! I felt confident;  like a million bucks! My husband and daughter came in the bathroom and both grinned from ear to ear. My husband told me how much he liked my look and how he missed looking into my eyes without my glasses. He of course told me I was beautiful before and he liked the changes I’d made. He wanted to take me out so we got dressed, went to dinner and had a fun family evening.

For the last six days, I’ve gotten up everyday in enough time to nurse my daughter, talk with my honey, get my lunch, coffee AND do my hair and make up. Before my daughter, I would wear make up on the weekends (Hey I’m a social worker don’t judge me 🙂 But now I’d like to wear light make up daily and take time to make sure that I have the look that I want before leaving the house.

Ladies, life is busy with school, work, children, church, house work etc BUT we must take time for ourselves. We won’t be able to effectively do all that we need to do if we don’t take care of our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Here’s a list of ideas of things to do just for you: take a bubble bath, scrapbook, go to a movie, window shop, read a good book, work out, eat healthier and get more sleep. If you’ve been wearing the same hair style or make up, consider trying something new. When we feel comfortable, confident and rested, we’re at peace and much more happy. I’m sure our husbands, children, friends and coworkers were notice a change in our mood and will appreciate the new confident and relaxed us.  Take time this week and think about what you can do on a consistent basis just for you. Trust me you will be happy that you did!! Happy Wednesday!

FORGET ABOUT IT, KEEP PRESSIN ON!

Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 KJV

What things do you need to forget about from 2011 and keep pressing in God in 2012? What or who did you let hold you back, put you down and prevent you from being all that God called you to be? Whatever it was, it’s time to give it to God, move forward in Him and walk in ALL that He has for you this year.

Here’s a list of things to forget and press on in Jesus this new year.

1. Failed relationships/friendships

2. Failed businesses/ministries

3. Financial struggles

4. Your loved ones drama that you can’t control or change

5. Feelings of depression because you’re not where you felt you should be by this age

For many, last year was an extremely hard year. Unemployment, financial struggles, martial, emotional and physical issues BUT GOD! If your reading this then you made it into 2012, your still breathing and you have a chance to partner with God and watch Him do miraculous things in your life and your loved ones lives. Forget about what the news, doctors, employers, neighbors or even yo mama said. What does the word of God say? What did God promise you? That He would never leave you or forsake you. That He loves you so much that He died on the cross for you. That He has plans to prosper you and give you a future.

I know it’s hard and sometimes impossible to just shut tragedies and concerns out of our minds. Seek help from a counselor, pastor or trusted loved one if you need to talk, cry and/or pray your way out of last years issues. It’s ok to need someone to help you get over your problems,  but it’s not okay to let your past control you and hold you back. We are to cast our burdens to Jesus because He cares for us!

Lets check ourselves today. What have we been confessing? Who have we been talking to? Are we speaking death over ourselves and our situations or are we speaking life? Is your best friend reminding you or the word of God and encouraging you when you’re venting about your problems or is he/she telling you  that nothing good ever happens to you and you should just give up? Forget the drama, forget the failures, keep pressing towards God, towards His love, promises and His word. 2012 WILL BE an awesome year because God is on our side.

Psalm 118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?

Israel Houghton- Moving Forward http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw1DxO_umwo

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription.  Also please post the blog info on your Facebook and Twitter pages. https://joannawillis.wordpress.com Thank you in advance for your support. Also my blog now has a FB page! Please go and hit “like” https://www.facebook.com/#!/joannawillisblog

Body Image: Love The Skin You’re In

Every woman has things about her body that she’d like to change or work on. It would be cool if I were slimmer, had longer and permanently straight hair and if my feet were smaller. While these changes would be great, I can honestly say that I love myself how I am and I’m not loosing any sleep over the things that I mentioned. The things I can do in the natural to improve my appearance and health I will work on but I will remain grateful and content with how God made me!! God doesn’t make mistakes and He loves me with my size 11 feet and my kinky hair! 🙂 If God made you short, tall, thin or plus size, big boobs or no boobs, be happy that you are alive, healthy and able bodied. Let’s not focus on what the world says beauty is! Beauty is how God made you!!

Psalm 139:12-20 (NIV)

2 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to [a] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

I found a great article from Reachout.com about body image and being happy in your own skin. It’s a secular article but I thought the info was relevant and helpful.

What is body image? 

Body image is your attitude towards your body – how you see yourself, how you think and feel about the way you look and how you think others perceive you. Your body image can be influenced by your own beliefs and attitudes as well as those of society, the media and peer groups.

An unhealthy body image is thinking your body is bigger or smaller that it is in reality, believing that you aren’t perfect on the outside, and thinking that how you look on the outside is your entirety. You are more than just your skin!

A healthy body image is being comfortable in your own skin, being happy with the way you look, and feeling good within yourself.

How do people get unhealthy body image?

It is likely that you come across images of other people from all over the place on a daily basis. These images probably include a large proportion of images of super-slim or buff male and female models in magazines, super-skinny celebrities on TV, and slender mannequins in stores, and it is possible that being bombarded by all these images might make you feel bad about yourself and the way your body looks, and you may feel like it is important to be like them.

In truth, over the course of history, the ideal body shape has changed. It has always been the opposite of the social climate. During the potato famine in Ireland, it was very stylish to be plump, as it showed style and wealth. These days, some reasons why it is fashionable to be slim and well toned might be that it shows you have the money for a gym membership or a personal trainer.

Body image: did you know?

Only about 5 to 10% of women are in the height and weight range of models.

Males are also unlikely to the height and weight range of models.

The images of models (male and female) portrayed in magazines are altered with airbrushing and fancy lighting.

The images in magazines don’t reflect different shapes, cultures, and sizes. They have a “one size fits all” policy to our multicultural and diverse world.

Dress models (for girls) in stores are an average size 8, yet the average women is between a 12 and 16, and the guy models are super toned, size 30s. Have you noticed the only size of men’s pants you can ever find at the shops are 30s?

When it comes to weight, genetics may be more important than the environment or learned behavior.

Unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem

An unhealthy body image can damage your self-esteem. Once you feel bad about the way you look, you may be inclined to think that you, as a person, are not as worthy. No matter what you look like, you are special. A person with a healthy body image will, most likely, have clear boundaries between body image and self image.

If you are feeling inadequate about your body or yourself in general, it may be worth talking to someone about it. This may be a family member, friend, teacher or counselor.

Check out the Who can help you section for more information about how these people might be able to help. A happier and more confident you may also translate to others reacting more positively towards you.

How to get a more positive body image

Instead of passively receiving unrealistic images, why don’t you:

Question messages in the media – Every time you see a magazine article telling you to become thinner/wear a particular type of clothing/buy a certain kind of shampoo, ask yourself why the article is doing so. Is it to sell more copies or to encourage the purchase of a particular item? What will happen to you if you don’t listen to the article? What would you think if you hadn’t read the article at all?

Are the images you see in the media showing strong, respectable, smart people or are they showing somebody solely focused on how pretty or handsome they are?

Stand up for your rights – You don’t have to listen to what other people say about how you look. You have the right to be happy with who you are. Don’t let anybody take that away from you.

Choose your media – Does reading magazines actually improve your life? Do you want to be a girl or guy out there only to impress a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, or do you want to be somebody out there to live life to the fullest?

Find your own style – Wear what you want to wear and not what is in fashion.  Fashion comes and goes but we’ll outlast the trends!

Describe yourself – Without a single word to your physique, say good things about yourself. Try to describe your friends without how they look. Think of the good parts of them. When you come up with something, tell them! It will make their day all the better and we can never underestimate the power of our words.
In Mission Australia’s 2008 National Survey of Young Australians it was reported that body image was the number one issue that young people were concerned about. Is it something that you think is an issue amongst your friends?

Acknowledgment:

Kaz Cooke 1962-, 1994, Real gorgeous: the truth about body and beauty, Allen & Unwin, St. Leonards, N.S.W. with the permission of Allen and Unwin http://www.allenandunwin.com.au

This content

http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/body-image-how-to-love-the-skin-youre-in