Boobs In or Boobs Out, That is the Question

Over the last month it’s been strangely hot in Michigan. We didn’t get our usual snow storms or winter weather. Spring is finally here and hopefully the cold weather is behind us. As we prepare for continuous warm days, I felt the need to remind us ladies to watch what we wear. As women of God we want to please the Lord in our wardrobe. Now this doesn’t mean we have to wear turtle necks and head wraps BUT we should make sure our body parts aren’t hanging out for all to see. God has called us to holiness and modesty. I believe there’s a way to be modest but fashionable. Checkout this list below and let me know what you think.

Top 4 Reasons To Put Your Boobs Away and Be Stylish But Modest

1.  Everyone doesn’t need to see your goodies, leave something to the imagination. Your body is sacred and private. You want the man your interested in to work to get to know you, date you and marry you. When you wear your breast out, you don’t appear to be the woman wanting to have a lasting relationship, you look like the woman looking to get laid. Make sure your attire is representing you correctly.

2. You’ll attract guys who are only attracted to your body and you’ll give them the wrong impression about you. You’re a intelligent, hard-working woman but when you show up wearing a top that everyone can see through and is so low-cut even the women have to look away, no one will think of you as anything but the  girl who doesn’t cover up.

3. Your more than a sex object, your God’s child. Your self-esteem shouldn’t be based on how many guys are drooling over you. The bible says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are so important to the Lord, He created you and knows everything about you. He knows the past hurts that you’ve experienced and He wants to heal you, love on you and comfort you. By dressing revealing to get attention, you’ll only find lust, not love. Love desires you with your clothes on, lust desires you only when your clothes are off.

4. Young girls around you are watching so ask yourself what are you showing them? I’m always amazed when I see a woman walking in the mall half-naked with 3 kids trailing behind her and one in the stroller. That woman is looking for attention the only way she knows how but sadly her children are watching and she’s sending them the wrong message. As women and mothers, we must show our children and other young girls around us how to carry themselves. We must watch our dress, conversations and relationships because their watching and what we do affects them. Ask yourself what your wardrobe is teaching your girls.

3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

This post is dedicated to the many beautiful, saved, successful, smart, kind, driven and uncompromising women in the world. Many of my closest female friends are single this holiday season and I wanted to write a post of encouragement and humor that would carry them through this season.

While many single women desire to be married at some point, they are learning to dedicate their time, money, talent and bodies to Christ during the waiting season. For me, on an average day, being single wasn’t that challenging  BUT I did have days, especially around special holidays (Valentines Day, my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas) were I wished I had a good man to love and celebrate with. The longing for someone to love and be loved by is natural and normal but we must always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Marriage is lots of fun but it’s also challenging work. Often times people don’t think about all the serving, sacrificing, patience and comprise that comes with the territory and therefore so many couples get divorced. One of the purposes of my blog is to inform single women of the wonderful and not so wonderful aspects of marriage so that they have a realistic expectation before saying I Do! Checkout the list below about why being single on Christmas isn’t a bad thing.

3 Perks For Being Single On Christmas

1. When your single, you don’t have to agree with anyone but the Holy Spirit about how to spend your money for Christmas or how many gifts to purchase. Throughout the year you save your money and when Christmas time comes you can tithe, pay your bills and make a list as long or short as you’d like of who you bless for Christmas. It’s your money and your prerogative.

2. When your single you don’t have the responsiblity of visiting  your family and the in-laws and doing the house jumping balancing act. If you want to stay home you can, if you want to go from house to house you can. As a single woman the holidays are what you make it. Surround yourself with loved ones (family and friends) and thank God for what you do have instead of thinking about what you don’t have.

3.When your single, instead of needing to go out and find the perfect Christmas morning lingerie, you can pick out whatever cute and comfortable PJs that you like because you only have to please you. It’s wonderful to have a husband to dress up for but sometimes it’s nice to put on whatever makes you comfy, grab a book or a girlie movie and spend some quality time by yourself.

Basically ladies what I’m saying is being married has a lot of perks (companionship, love, sex and children to be raised by two parents in a loving home) but singleness definitely does too (independence of time, money, jobs and travel. You can go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to) We must all remember that it’s a blessing to be breathing this Christmas. To have some money to bless a few people with gifts, to have family and friends to celebrate Christ’s birth with and enjoy good food. Married or single, let’s find reasons to be grateful and content this Christmas. Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

Independent Women and Chivalry

With today being the age of the Independent Woman, I was wondering what role does chivalry play in today’s society. I believe that chivalry is a great thing but I’m sure many modern-day independent women feel other wise. Before we jump into this debate, let’s define what an independent woman is and what chivalry means. The definition of an Independent Woman is a woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and DOES NOT allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports her self on her own entirely and is proud to be able to do so.

Chivalry means: 1 : valiant 2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of chivalry and knight-errantry 3 a : marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women. Chivalry[1] is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are often used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

I believe that being a successful, independent, self sufficient, driven woman is a great thing. I am proud to see so many women being successful and doing their thing BUT sometimes I think we as women take the “I’m independent, I’m running things and I don’t need anyone, esp a man,” attitude way to far. Men are a blessing, an added bonus to our lives. We don’t need them to be happy and content but it is a blessing when a good woman finds a good man!

Women ask yourself this, is a chivalrous man attractive to you? Would you like it if your man did the following things on a regular basis or are these things too much? I know you can do all of these activities on your own but would it be nice and appropriate if your gentlemen did them for you?

1. Opened the car door for you

2. Paid for the majority of the dates

3. Helped you into your coat

4. Pulled out your chair

5. Helped you if you were carrying something heavy

I obtained two college degrees and was making decent money before I married my husband. I was capable of doing things for myself and the few bills that I had, I paid with ease. When Eddie came along he wanted to open my doors, help me with heavy objects, pay for dates, help me with my coat and even gently pull my hair out of my coat for me, after he put my coat on. He did those things during our friendship, courtship, engagement and still during marriage. Though I felt I was an independent and capable woman, I appreciated and enjoyed his chivalrous treatment towards me. I still enjoy and appreciate this about him to this day. My dad was the only man before Eddie that cared for me in such a gentleman way. I think all women should be cared for in such a kind and thoughtful manner.

I don’t understand women who feel that it is weak to let a man open doors and pay for meals. I think it’s good to go back to the old fashion ways courtship and let men be gentleman. If he wants to date you he should ask you, pick u up and pay for you. If he is interested in you, he should give you special treatment and not treat you like one of the boys. Yes you can open your own door but if he wants to be a blessing and open it, it would be a good idea to let him.

**Ladies your thoughts? Gentlemen your thoughts? Please post comments here and not on FB thanks.**

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Single, Successful and Too Independent?

In today’s society women are aimbious, driven and working hard for the money! Women are owning businesses, running companies, getting multiple degrees and holding it down for themselves. Many women don’t need men for anything. Like the Destiny’s Child song “Independent Women,” “The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it, The clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it, The rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it, ‘Cause I depend on me If I want it.”  The question then becomes are women in today’s society too independent for men? 

     

Some women get upset when a man opens the door for them. Others are offended if a man offers to pay for the meal on a date because they have money and don’t need a man to do anything for them. Being independent and successful is a great thing BUT being arrogant and snotty because of it is not. Being in a committed relationship is an added bonus to a woman’s life. Men aren’t everything and you don’t need one to be happy. But many women today wouldn’t know a GOOD MAN if he was staring them right in the face. 

    

Just because a man doesn’t have as much money or as many degrees as you does not make him a bad man. Because a man wants to spoil you doesn’t mean he thinks you need him and his money; he may just want to treat you good and show you how special you are to him.   

   

Sometimes I think women, especially black women, wear a chip on their shoulder when it comes to men and were so cautious about being hurt or reject that we shut people out that are trying to love us. 

  

Many black women feel that loving, trusting and giving herself 100% to a committed relationship is a sign of weakness. Maybe some of these women have been rejected by their fathers, molested by their male relatives, cheated on by past boyfriends and now are saying enough is enough. They devote their lives to their careers and stacking money and they ignore men, love and relationships all together. The rejected child who couldn’t count on anyone to take care of her has now grown up to be a successful beautiful woman whose still carrying around the angry, unforgiveness and rejection of the past. When a man tries to step to her, her past hurts won’t allow her to see the good in him only the possible and potential bad. 

  

 

   

  

Ladies, it is an awesome thing to be independent and successful but if you have things in your past that cause you to be bitter and respond to men in the wrong manner, I encourage you to not hide behind the “I’m independent,  I don’t need nobody,” attitude and give your struggles over to God. Allow Him to heal you of the pain of the past. You don’t have to be successful and alone. You don’t have to hide behind your career goals/dreams and sacrifice your desire for marriage and a family. God is a healer. He created you, He knows every hair on your head. You need to be free from the past so that you can be in a healthy relationship one day. All men aren’t after you for your money/success and all men don’t think your after them for theirs. Be strong, be confident and be independent and be free. If you meet a good man and you have peace about dating him and get to know him. Let him court you and work to get you. Let him love you. You deserve to be loved.

 

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support. Also please email the blog link to other ladies https://joannawillis.wordpress.com