Why PDA is Good For You’re Children To See

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I read a cool quote today that said, “Be great parents, gross out your kids.” The pic showed a mother and a father kissing. I agree with the quote and the picture made me smile. My parents have always been affectionate and loving towards on another infront of my brother and I. I grew up in a loving, peaceful, affectionate family and for that I am truly grateful to God and my parents.

My husband and I have been blessed to provide the same type of environment for our daughter (soon to be two daughters). Our daughter Elyssa just turned two years old on April 1. On her birthday we were taking pics with her and she pushed our faces together so that my husband and I could kiss. I thought the moment was very special because she was grinning from ear to ear. At the tender age of two, our daughter knows that her mommy and daddy holding hands or kissing is very special and to be celebrated. Sometimes we’re all sitting together on the couch and she’ll push our hands together so that we can hold hands either as a family or just he and I together. She walks around the house saying “kissin” and smiling. She likes it when we laugh and play together or turn on music and dance.

We have the peace of God in our home and for that I am grateful. We pray, play gospel music and keep a calm atmosphere so that our daughter feels safe, secure and loved. It’s important for children to see their parents happy, communicating appropriately and showing each other love and affection. Of course my husband and I have disagreements but we talk them out or table them until we’re both able to talk through them effectively. It’s important to us to be role models for our daughter becuase we know she’s watching us. When she and her sister Elaina (arriving in 8 weeks or less) get older, they will be grossed out by mommy and daddy’s public displays of affection and thats ok. I will show Elyssa the pic that we took on her 2nd birthday and reminder of how she thought her parent’s kissing was the cutest thing.

It Always Feels Like Somebody’s Watchin Me

This Valentines Day, my husband gave our 10 month old daughter her first Valentines gift. He brought her some soft toy flowers and a cute basket. I  enjoyed watching him present her with the gift. Elyssa looked happy, surprised and intrigued by her new gift. The purpose of him giving her the gift was to start the tradition of being that special man in her life and being a godly role model of a father and husband to her. It’s so important for us parents to practice what we preach. Our children don’t need to see us talking the talk but not walking the walk. Their always watching so ask yourself what you’re showing them.

The night before Valentines Day, my husband came home with my vday surprise. He asked us to go in another room while he set it up. When Elyssa and I came out, Eddie had a beautiful arrangement of flowers, a huge I LOVE U balloon and my favorite candies and chocolates. We kissed and hugged and Elyssa watched us and grinned from ear to ear. It was as if she knew that something special was happening and she liked seeing us happy. I want to always provide her with the loving family that she needs and deserves. I will work hard to glorify God in my marriage so that she can see what it means to have a peaceful household with two parents that love God, each other and her.

Today I challenge you to be the best that you can be because people are watching you. People need to know that there is hope and they need to see Christ in you. Watch your words and actions. Live your life as if God is walking with you everywhere because He is even though you can’t see him. People are always watching you, esp once they find out you’re a Christian. So think twice before you speak badly of your boss or join in with others as they gossip behind each other’s back. Some people will never go to church so we have to bring the church to them. By setting a godly example for your children, friends, coworkers, you become a blessing and a walking example of God’s love.

Learning When To Shut Up And When To Speak

This week on Facebook I noticed a few women post the same status entitled: I AM A HANDFUL. While the status maybe harmless words to some, I thought the confession of being a handful and out of control at times was a sad and irresponsible confession to make. I am  what the Word of God says that I am. Not what the world says I am, or what my flesh wants to say, do or be. Read the status and then we will discuss it further.

I AM A HANDFUL- Unfortunately most women WON’T post this but I’m strong willed, independent, a bit outspoken and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes and I’m sometimes out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve to handle me at my best. If you’re a HANDFUL repost! I dare you…

Sometimes as women, we feel we have the “right” to say and do what we want. If we feel like going off on someone we will, if we feel like tearing down our husband, friends or coworkers at any given moment, we will, not stopping to think about the consequences. Women know how they want to be treated but often they don’t give others the same respect. We don’t want people gossiping about us and spreading rumors but we do it to others. We don’t want others to go off on us because they feel like letting their tongue get out of control, but we think it’s ok to self proclaim that we are verbally out of control??

The bible talks a lot about the power of the tongue and how we are to guard our words. Dr. Dale A. Robbins wrote an article entitled “Is Your Tongue Out of Control.” I found the article to be helpful and reminding me what the word of God says about  the tongue and why I need to keep it under control. http://www.victorious.org/tongue.htm

It has been said that the “tongue” is one of the most exercised muscles of our body. It has been estimated that in a typical week, the average person will speak enough words to fill a 500 page book! However, for the Christian, the use of the tongue must be a matter of careful forethought and discipline. The Bible warns that believers who do not bring restraint to their tongue and speech have been deceived — and without such control over their words, their religious acts are worthless and hypocritical. “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (James 1:26). It is a deception for any of us to think that Jesus can be Lord over our life, without also becoming Lord over our tongue.

Elsewhere, James gave a warning of the evil poison of the tongue. He described some who try to use their tongue as praise and blessing to God, then turn around to use their tongue to speak evil of one another. “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it rue curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:9-10). We cannot use our tongue to curse and bad-mouth our brethren, then continue “business as usual” with our relationship with God. The Bible says that such tongue behavior is characteristic of hypocrites. “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor… “(Prov. 11:9).

 “I will guard my ways, Lest I sin with my tongue; I will restrain my mouth with a muzzle, While the wicked are before me” (Psalms 39:1).

“What right do you have to use your mouth to declare my word and promises? You have used your mouth for evil and deceitfulness, to bad-mouth and slander your brethren” (Psa. 50:16-22).

The Bible teaches that they who desire to dwell in the presence of God, to experience His blessings, are those who will live righteously and who will not backbite or badmouth their neighbor. “LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle a Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend” (Psa. 15:1-3). Furthermore, God promises a long, blessed life to those who keep their tongue from evil. “Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit” (Psa. 34:12-13).

Obscenities, profanity, cursing, dirty jokes, or making fun of others is not something that should ever be found in the mouth of a believer. “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:4 NIV).

If you realize that your tongue is out of control, seek His forgiveness and allow Him to change the attitude of your heart and your mouth, so they will be pleasing to Him. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, 0 LORD, my strength and my Redeemer” (Psa. 19:14). 

Forgiveness is the Sweetest Revenge

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge- Isaac Friedmann

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you- Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future~ Paul Boese

Forgive or relive~ unknown

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” Hannah Moore

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong~ Ghandi

We achieve inner health only through forgiveness-the forgiveness of not only others but of ourselves~ Joshua Liebman

Ladies take back your life! Don’t give those that have hurt you the pleasure of keeping you insecure, depressed, angry and afraid. Forgiveness is for you. When you forgive you get free, you get to take your life back, to smile again, to live a happy life  and to have joy and peace of mind. You deserve to be free, to be happy and to enjoy fulfilling relationships with others. You can’t be in a healthy place if you’re not walking in forgiveness. You’ll always have the chains around your hands and feet, the weight of the painful past will always hold you down. Its time to BREAK FREE!!!!!

Forgive those who have hurt you, give the pain over to the Lord. Ask Him to heal your broken heart, to help you see yourself how He sees you. The bible tells us to cast our burdens unto Jesus because He cares for us! The bible also tells us that God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He is waiting and willing to restore you to your rightful place in Him. Please make the decision today to seek guidance from a friend, family member, church member, pastor, counselor, social worker or your doctor. Talk to someone and start your healing process. Forgiveness may seem impossible today BUT trust me, as each day goes by, the decision gets easier and easier. It’s harder to live in pain and loneliness of unforgiveness, than it is to forgive and be free. You may never forget and that’s okay, but at least you will have your joy and peace back. True forgiveness says “I will not allow the things you’ve done to me to hold me captive any longer. I forgive you, I wish you well and I’m moving on.” You don’t have to be best friends with that person, talk to them on the phone and hang out. Forgiveness means you will not speak or think ill of them, you will not seek revenge on them, but instead you will pray for them and ask God to heal you both of the past. God is faithful. He will walk with you every step of the way, just trust Him and obey!!

How Social Networking Has Changed Our Lives

Sadly, I couldn’t imagine going 24 hours without using my cell phone, reading any emails, sending any texts or using the internet for anything. With the invention of PDA’s, iPhones, Blackberrys and Smart Phones in general, we literally have the world at our finger tips every where we go. Gone are the days of missing emails because you spent a few hours off site and weren’t by a computer. No longer do you have to only communicate with your friends by talking on the phone or mailing them a letter (how boring lol) Now a quick instant message, writing a message on their FB wall, hitting them up on Twitter or MySpace is the way to do it. I HATE checking my voicemail. If I don’t answer when someone calls, I prefer they send me a message that I can read because if I am too busy to talk, I can send them a message and get back to them faster.

What I love about Facebook is the ability to get information out to hundreds of people at a time on your status. I was so excited to post when I got engaged, married, we purchased our first home and when we found out I was pregnant. I also love encouraging others, reading my friends inspirational messages on their statuses and posting and viewing others pictures. It’s how we keep up with each other’s lives!

Social media helps with keeping in contact with family and friends who are out-of-state or who you haven’t seen in several years (from grade school, college etc) Social media is also great for promoting businesses, ministries etc.

Of course everything needs balance and it isn’t good to spend all day everyday online or on your cell phone. We can’t let social media/networking take the place of “real life relationships” or everyday human interaction. It is a good idea to put the phones away while on a date, the dinner table, when company is over, or while you’re at work. I’m bad at using my phone often and am working on putting it on silent and on the shelf at home and work more often. P.S I haven’t seen the movie Social Network yet but I heard it was really good.

**How has social networking change your life? Affected your relationships? Enhanced your business?**

Why Spouses Should NOT Hide Money From Each Other

I had a debate with my friends on FB about spouses hiding money from their mate and needing to “have their own” in case their spouse leaves them. It all started from a conversation that I witnessed while watching the Oprah Show. Oprah was saying that women need to have their own house, money, bills in their name and not combined them with their significant other. I don’t believe that married people should sneak around and stash money away just in case things go sour. Yes we should have our complete trust in God alone, yes we all have individual purposes to be on the earth and we need to pursue our careers, ministries and business. I believe that couples should have their own identities BUT when you get married, you need to find balance because you and your spouse have become one!!

I know that marriage is hard and nothing is guaranteed BUT the word of God is true and it does not change. My God promises me that I can have the desires of my heart. The word of God gives detailed instructions about marriage and the roles of husbands and wives. I believe that if couples keep Christ at the center always, are quick to forgive, communicate their needs and concerns, stay hooked up to one another, forsaking all others, they WILL have long-lasting happy, healthy and hot marriages!!

4 Reasons Why Spouses Should Not Hide Money From Each Other

1. In marriage you must trust each other 100%. Without trust you have nothing. If you can’t trust someone with your money, body, goals/dreams, children or your life, what’s the point of dating or marrying them?

2. Honesty and communication is a must. What if you found out that your spouse was hiding money from you in case he/she felt like leaving you one day? Instead of hiding money for a rainy day, be open and honest about what makes you unsure about the relationship so that you can both fight to stay in it, not plan your escape to get out of it.

3. Marriage is forever and if you don’t believe that, save yourself the money and time (both of which you could never get back) and JUST DON’T GET MARRIED! By saying that you have to put a little money aside each check in case your spouse leaves you or you get tired of him/her, means you never made up in your mind that marriage is for life. Yes things happen, people change and sometimes get divorced, but know that divorce doesn’t have to be  a word used in your house. Date for a good period of time, go to premarital counseling, seek God before you say I do, study what the bible says about marriage, husbands and wives, and if you think your ready, go ahead and jump the broom.

4. Before you get married, seek God and wise counsel regarding healing that you may need from past negative relationships. If you are still hurting from past exboyfriends cheating, abusing you, lying to you or even watching your father/mother do these things to your parent, you MUST get restored from that hurt BEFORE you get married. It’s not fair to sleep with one eye open on a spouse who hasn’t done anything to not be trusted. Don’t push your issues on him. Seek help and get whole so that you can be happy, healthy and free.

Stop Faking It: How To Be Honest About Your Needs In & Outside The Bedroom

Often times as women and wives, we try our best to please everyone around us (our husbands, children, friends, family, boss) and we continue to put our own needs on the shelf, this is a big mistake. As wives, it’s important that we communicate our needs to our husbands and teach them to satisfy us and meet our needs in and outside of the bedroom.

 

 

4 Tips On How To Communicate Your Needs To Your Spouse

1.  Pray about what to say and when to say it. Women, we know we can be bold, blunt and to the point sometimes, but when it comes to our husbands, we must take a sweet and respectful approach. When addressing concerns with men, timing and tone of voice is everything. Don’t meet him at the front door after work with all your concerns because you just couldn’t wait to let him have it. It’s important to slow down, take a deep breath and take your concerns to God in prayer. Seek God about what to say and when to say it. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to help your husband hear your heart and not be embarrassed or defensive.

2. Be honest. If the sex isn’t what you’d like it to be, he hasn’t fixed the list of items that are broken around the house or he keeps forgetting to take the trash out, sit him down and talk about your needs.  He may think he’s doing ok in these areas until you tell him, esp the sex area.

Sex is meant to be pleasing for the husband and the wife. When we become one in marriage, our bodies are no longer our own, they are for pleasing each other. If you aren’t being pleased the answer is simple, teach him how to please you. In sweet seductive words and movements, show him what to do. He will appreciate the guidance because a good man aims to please his woman. If you fake it, you’ll never get where you desire to be and intimacy is a huge part of marriage; don’t cheat yourself!!

3. Be patient and calm while you share your needs. Compliment him first and don’t nag or use defensive words. It’s important to build him up before telling him where he’s missing it. Remember no one is perfect and the goal is not to make him feel bad, it’s to have an open, honest and productive discussion about each other’s needs.

 Organize your thoughts before you talk to him. Decide on the top two concerns you would like to explore. If the list of concerns is too long, the discussion may be too overwhelming for both of you.

Bonus tip

Don’t speak ill of your husband or marriage to your friends. It won’t do your marriage any good to always tell your girlfriends where your hubby is dropping the ball and never him. You never want to put your husband down to others, only lift him up. Learn to spend more time talking to God and your spouse about your marriage then you do anyone else. We don’t want our husbands sharing with their friends all the things that we need to do better so let’s show them the same respect.

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