My 2nd VBAC Birth Story

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This time last year my husband and I discovered that I was pregnant with our third child. Our youngest was only four months old so imagine the multiple emotions that all hit me at once like a mack truck when the test said POSITIVE!! YIKES!! My hubby started grinning and gave me a reassuring pep talk about how everything was going to be ok and he was right! My pregnancy was smooth sailing. My growing girl Elaina continued to nurse like a champ despite people continuing to say that she would refuse my milk since I was pregnant.

Now let me fast forward to the good part, the delivery 🙂 I got induced just like I had with my other two birthes, I guess my body just doesn’t like going into labor on it’s own. My doula was in a accelerated graduate program and temporarily unable to take clients. My mom, who had also one of my labor coaches, staid home to care for our girls who were three and one at the time. It was just my husband and I in the hospital, patiently waiting our son’s arrival.

My first daughter Elyssa, was born via emergency csection due to her being in distress because the cord was wrapped around her neck. My second daughter Elaina was my first vaginal birth after a csection (VBAC) and I was planning for my second VBAC with my son. I signed the VBAC consent form and began my journey. My OB is awesome and very supportive so I wasn’t concerned about being pressured into having a unnecessary csection.

Things were peaceful in the hospital. My husband and I walked the halls some but we mostly watched movies and rested while we waited for the strong contractions to come. Thankfully I did not have back labor like I did with Elaina. Back labor was so uncomfortable and the epidural provided no relief for my back. My doc let me take a break from the induction meds so we could eat dinner and we really appreciated that. Nothing worst then being hungry and not being in active labor. It feels like things are moving so slow with no end in sight.

The next morning my OB broke my water and oh boy is that the craziest feeling. Your in bed with hot fluid continually gushing out of you. The contractions started and I got my epidural but then had a bad reaction to it and needed some quick simple medical intervention to stabilize my blood pressure. At around 3:45pm the contractions got really strong and I started dialating quickly. My husband teases me saying he knows it’s almost time to push when I start humming and singing during my contractions. I make a low sound while trying to breathe, focus and stay in control during the pain and pressure. Hey at least I don’t yell and curse during them right! I can’t believe that I’ve  actually never cried during labor. It’s like I have my war clothes on and I can’t afford to lose it.

My dad was home so he staid with the girls and my mom rushed up to the hospital right before it was time to push. My birth photographer made it on time as well and it was time to get the show on the road!! I was about to get my second VBAC and I was overjoyed!!

I delivered our son in six intense minutes!! There was a time when I thought I may not get to experience vaginal birth but I prayed, had determination and a awesome doctor and support system and God granted my request!! It was a awesome feeling to have everyone encouraging me and cheering me on as I brought my son, Eddie IV, into the world. We were all blown away when we disovered that he weighed 10.3lbs!!! My big healthy boy!! Thank you Jesus!!

I had a scary moment of unexpected blood clot issues but the doctors moved fast and quickly got me stable. I’m so glad my husband and mom were there with me during that ordeal. Everything with my son and I checked out great and I insisted on going home 24hrs later. I’m still so grateful to God for my granting me with another beautiful baby and the birth of my choice. Birth without fear!!

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As you can imagine I’ve been very busy being a stay at home mom of three children under four. I will be writing about my motherhood journey alot!! I love being a wife and mom!! My husband Eddie is a awesome husband and hands on dad, we make a great team!! In between jungling the kids, housework, time with hubby, time for myself, my family, friends, church and photography business, I want to write in my blog more. I love writing and thank you to those who read and share my post!!!

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A Love Letter to C-Section Moms (That Everyone Should Read)

csectionI saw this letter to C-Section mom’s posted in my Facebook minifeed yesterday and wanted to share it. The letter is written by Michele Zipp and she totally captures the feelings that many women who’ve experienced C-Sections feel. We are not less than because we did not birth our babies naturally. Our birthing experiences are still important, special and should be celebrated.

I remember having a conversation with a mix of older and younger women about birth shortly after Elyssa was born. I had had a C-Section and was very sensitive about the topic. The older women were saying that today’s generation consents to C-Sections too frequently and that doctor’s make a lot of money off of us by performing unnecessary C-Sections. It is a known fact that the C-Section rate is higher than ever before but to slam the 4 younger women in the room who ALL HAD C-SECTIONS DUE TO SERIOUS MEDICAL REASONS was out of line. To make us feel like we were less than because we did not birth vaginally was wrong and to tell me that my doctor lied to me and more could have been done to prevent a C-Section when none of the women had been there or knew my entire story complete infuriated me.

No matter how children come into the world, we must focus on the most important fact, that they are healthy. We must make decisions as individuals about what we want our next birth (should we be so blessed) to be like. I decided that I wanted to have a VBAC and the Lord blessed me but if I had had another C-Section, I would have thanked God for my healthy baby and moved on with my life. I would still have considered myself a good mother and still a real woman. We must make sure that we don’t label one another and try to cause division amongst each other. As women and mothers, we must support, encourage and educate one another. We must celebrate victories together and pray for one another when the challenges of life arise.

A Love Letter to C-Section Moms (That Everyone Should Read)
by Michele Zipp

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/131563/a_love_letter_to_csection?utm_medium=sm&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=natural_fanpage

If I were a DJ, I would be shouting “This one is for the c-section mommies!” And then all the moms who have had cesareans would cheer “Wooooooo!” We need that. Women who have had c-sections for reasons beyond their control need to feel the love that moms who got to have the natural birth they wanted are allowed to feel. Moms who have had c-sections need and deserve respect and love for the way they birthed. We need to honor all ways of birth, even the ones that didn’t go as we planned. Because it is still the way some children are brought into our lives. Hear me out. This isn’t about being pro-cesarean. This is about being pro-mom.

You see, some people seem to think there are two kinds of moms — those who have c-sections and those who do not. This ‘battle’ divides us, and makes one side feel like a mother who didn’t do the right thing.

I had a c-section. I didn’t schedule it so I could preserve my vagina, nor did I pick the date because it was convenient. It was necessary and needed. And I really shouldn’t have to explain more than that because well, do we go into detail on how there was sexy lingerie, lots of foreplay, and a glass of wine involved in the conception of your baby? No. Birth is (to some) a private and deeply emotional event in a woman’s life. Being judged for having a c-section without knowing the details is … well … wrong. Many moms like me had to have a c-section in order to be a mother. It’s as simple as that. Life or death. A choice that has to be made quickly given the circumstance. Many times the moms who had an emergency c-section or are still having a difficult time processing their birth or were made to believe they needed one despite their parental instincts are the ones who are often silent, and who are silently hurt. This love letter, this awareness I hope to instill in people, this is for you.

We are still mothers. We just had our babies through what I like to call a little kangaroo kind of pouch.

There may always be questions. Should I have trusted the doctors? Did I do all I could have? And that’s okay. C-section moms bear the scar where our babies were born, and we shouldn’t continue to be hurt by the insensitive words that many say without realizing that not all c-sections are frivolous choices. We love our babies just as much. Some of us are just as “crunchy” as homebirthers, we are attachment parents, we love our children and have amazing bonds with them.

Our vulnerability comes from feeling unsupported, and words hurt. I fear that some of my own articles on the topic could have even hurt women just like me, but I have always tried to choose my words carefully. I am a natural birth advocate, but am a c-section mommy. I can be both. I am proudly both. It’s true that when you have pain or deep hurt because of something, sometimes anything on the topic is tough to read. You feel defensive; you feel the words are directed at you as if you did something wrong. Any woman (or man) who has been through something difficult can relate to that. And the subject of birth or how we birth is the same, perhaps even more challenging to process and work through. This is why we need even more compassion and understanding, These battles that are created — the c-section moms versus everyone else — should stop. Generalizing this isn’t helpful for women to process they way they birthed if it didn’t go according to plan.

Not everything in life goes according to plan.

One of my friends told me that her c-section was the best and worst experience of her life. And that’s exactly it for me. It was the best because it enabled me to have my twins healthy after being diagnosed with HELLP syndrome, and the worst because it was frightening and not the way I wanted to birth. It took a long time, but I have come to terms with the way I birthed.

Sometimes the opposite of what we think is best … is what is really best. Just like how this mom wanted to exclusively breastfeed but found that supplementing with formula helped save her from going into a depression and helped her baby thrive. We cannot judge unless we know the full and complete story, every angle, all the background, and I realize that’s not really something we could ever completely know. I don’t want the c-section rates to rise because I do want women to have the births they want to have. But I also don’t want the women whose births were difficult and resulted in surgery to be made to feel like they did something wrong.

Maybe we can all be a little more kind in the words we choose, remembering those who are challenged with the very topic being discussed. Remembering that many women have guilt or sadness because they absolutely had to have a c-section. I know how hard the recovery is even a year or two after. But we deserve to find peace in the way we had our children. Our path to motherhood may not be the same, but it’s our path, something we need to find the beauty in, because all moms deserve that. You deserve that.