According to a recent Yale study, 42 percent of African-American women have yet to be married, compared to only 23 percent of white women. There’s also a gap in numbers. The 2000 U.S. Census counted 1.8 million more African-American women than men.
In a day and age where so many saved, successful, beautiful women are single, many women find themselves falling into the temptation of compromising their beliefs to get a man. The messages that the world tell us are loud and all around us but those messages only lead to hurt, pain, loneliness, disappointment and most importantly death! Romans 6:23 (KJV)For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. In Christ we have all that we need. He knows our needs and desires. He knows what’s best for us and He has a plan for our lives! Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG) I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
So now that you know God has a future for you and there’s no need to fear or compromise, let me give you 5 signs to look out for regarding dating. The guys that step to you may be fine, BUT are they helping you to be better or bringing you down? Are they bringing you closer to Christ or further away? If he is doing any of these things you need to pray and consider ending the relationship.
1. He wants to keep the relationship a secret. If he doesn’t want to proclaim to the world that you are his girl and he’s proud, happy, excited and blessed to be with you, there’s a problem. Don’t be anyone’s secret girl. I call secret girls “side girls” because your probably not the only one he’s messin with, why else would he want to keep your relationship a secret? Come on sis, your better than that!
2. He’s always commenting on your body and making sexual advances towards you. Whether he’s overly complimenting or criticizing you about your body, either one isn’t good. No one wants to feel like their man cares more about their outer appearance then what’s on the inside. He needs to love you for you and not once you’ve lost or gained 15 pounds. If he’s always touching you and being sexually aggressive, that’s a sign that he needs to get the steppin! Being holy and sexually pure is sometimes a daily challenge and you don’t need some knucklehead causing you to fall into temptation all for him to bounce after he gets what he wants anyway!!
3. He’s fine but doesn’t have a relationship with Christ or he just got saved but wants you to “help him find Jesus.” If he doesn’t know God than he won’t know how to treat, love or respect you. God is love and by getting to know Him intimately (more than for 2 hours a week at Sunday service) we learn how to love ourselves and our brothers and sister’s in Christ. The fact that he’s fine with a good job, car and house but doesn’t know God isn’t good enough. He can be fine and end up helping to send you to Hell because you fell away from the things of the Lord.
The same is true for the newly saved man. He just gave his life to Christ, so he’s still learning about living holy and being the man God created him. Leave him alone, stop distracting him and let him grow in God. If it’s God’s will, He will send him back across your path at a later time.
Do you sometimes find yourself feeling lonely or anxious about when your man of God will come along? When it feels like all of your friends are getting married and you’re wondering if God’s forgotten about you, read Matt 6:32-34 and be encouraged! God hasn’t left you or forgotten you. He knows what’s best and He’s preparing you for great things!
Matthew 6:32-34 The Message
30-33“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.