8 Tips To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair

About.com defines emotional affair as: An emotional affair is a secret relationship that involves intimate sharings with some one other than a spouse. If a person is no longer confiding thoughts and feelings with his/her spouse, the individual is either in an emotional affair or ready for one.
I wanted to write about emotional affairs, a topic that is not often discussed. There are many married people who would never consider having a physical affair but they find themselves in an emotional affair with a coworker, neighbor or church member etc. Focus On The Family (http://focusonthefamily.com) has an awesome article on their website about emotional affairs. I found the article to be very helpful and truthful. I wanted to share it with my husband and my single and married readers. It’s important for all of us to be prayed up, wise and set boundaries with the opposite sex to set our relationships and marriages up for success.  If you’re wondering whether your current “friendship” is going down an inappropriate road, see the checklist below. For tips on how to protect your marriage from an emotional affair, review the 8 tips.  To read the article in full, please see the link to the website. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/affairs_and_adultery/emotional_affairs.aspx
10 questions to ask yourself about your “friendship” with an opposite sex friend.

1. Do your conversations with your friends include things that should be kept between you and your spouse?

2. Do you find yourself daydreaming about your friend?

3. Have you found yourself withdrawing from your spouse emotionally or physically?

4. Do you look for excuses to see or talk to your friend?

5. Do you share thoughts, feelings or problems with your friend instead of your spouse?

6. Are you convinced that your friend understands you better than your spouse?

7. Is there flirting or sexual tension between you and your friend?

8. Do you look for “legal” ways to touch your friend (brush lint off his jacket, help her with her coat)?

9. Do you find yourself paying attention to how you look before you see your friend?

10. Is there any secrecy about your relationship (how much time you spend together, what you do together, what you talk about)

Protect Your Marriage

No marriage is affair proof. We are all at risk of losing our focus and being swept into an emotional affair. But you can do several things to safeguard your marriage:

1. Stay honest with yourself and with your spouse. If you find yourself attracted to someone, admit it quickly to yourself and to your spouse. Honest is the key to preventing a relationship from escalating into an affair.

2. Avoid magazines, movies and other forms of entertainment that can increase your tolerance of affairs.

3. Try to see your relationship from your spouses perspective. What would your spouse be comfortable with? How would he or sh feel about what you are doing?

4. Do not flirt. Most affairs begin with what’s considered “innocent flirting,” but there’s no such thing! Flirting is not a part of friendship.

5. Keep your marriage as your No. 1 priority. Make sure you are working to meet your spouse’s most important needs.  If you’re not sure what those are, ask.

6. Grow together spiritually. Pray with each other and for each other.

7. Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. For instance, you and your spouse may decided that either of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work.

8. Surround yourself with happily married couples who don’t believe in fooling around.

I’m happy to say that my husband and I talked about many of the tips on this list before we got married and we work hard to implement these tips now. We aren’t perfect and our marriage is still new, only three years, but we are trying our best to affair proof our marriage. We believe that marriage is forever, therefore we know that honesty is a must. If your marriage needs support, I encourage you to seek a marriage counselor and learn how to start trusting and communicating with one another again.


8 Responses to “8 Tips To Protect Your Marriage From An Emotional Affair”

  1. whatsaysyou Says:

    Thank you for the tips, Joanna. Although I may not be in any relationship, I will share those tips with my friends. Thanks again

  2. barahka Says:

    Thanks so much for sharing!!a lot of Godly wisdom!! have fun with your new bundle of joy!! they grow so fast so savor every milestone! God bless you !

  3. V.E.G. Says:

    In some ways, Flirting is like the Clown luring the kids to the gas chamber in the movie, the day the clown cried with Jerry lewis.

  4. V.E.G. Says:

    So many divorces is on the rise. I am not married and I live quietly in my childhood home.

  5. V.E.G. Says:

    Affairs with each others spouses has been around before there was a Russia.

  6. V.E.G. Says:

    If anyone is married, stay married for goodness sakes. Pray to God and keep the marriage in tip-top shape and they are doing very well.

  7. Jane Says:

    This is really a must-read blog post so couples must know these helpful tips on how to protect their marriage.

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