Christian Brothas, Where Are You? Hola If U Hear Me

The majority of churches, Christian events and single bible studies all over the world are packed with women. I firmly believe that there are fine saved men in the world, who love God, are living holy and handling their business, the question is WHERE ARE THEY?http://churchformen.com/allmen.php Lists the following facts about men and church: 

• The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories.

• On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.
• Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants.

• The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male).

• More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.

My husband and met at our church 7 years ago. Our church is very large and therefore it has a large single population. If our group was 30 deep on a particular night, only 10 of the 30 would be males. As a single woman, it was frustrating to always go to Christian parties, concerts, bible studies and always have the girls out number the guys AND have it continue to be the same handful of guys that consistently hung out. My husband was bold enough to develop a friendship with me and pray about pursuing me in God’s timing. When he felt the time was right, he asked me out stating “I want to pursue marriage with you.” We had a courtship, engagement and then marriage. The thing is, many Christian guys drag their feet when it comes to dating and marriage. They don’t ask girls out and many of them appear to be comfortable being single, but that’s another blog for another day.

Now that we’ve been married for over 2 years, the same problem still remains for my single girlfriends who are living for God, successful in their careers and haven’t been chosen yet. Even though more women go to church then men, I know there are Christian men in my city who do not come to Christian events or even seek out friendships from other males or females at their church. Why is this? Where are the men at? Why don’t they get involved at their church or reach out to others for Christian fellowship? My group of male and female friends do all kinds of fun stuff together, bowling, house parties, concerts, movies, dinner, ballroom/hustle parties etc. We have good clean fun and if other men are living for God, they should be desiring and seeking out the same thing. It’s important for believers to fellowship with other believers and do life together. I’m not saying that Christians should cut themselves off from the world and look down on those that don’t believe but as a Christian, my friends are Christians.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (The Message)

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way: “I’ll live in them, move into them; I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people. So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good,” says God. “Don’t link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I’ll be a Father to you; you’ll be sons and daughters to me.” The Word of the Master, God.

To my brothers in the Lord

If you are active at your church please continue to do so and invite other men to attend and get involved too. If you see a new guy at your church, take time to get to know him and make sure he feels welcome so that he will come back. If you are a man who goes to church but leaves right after service, doesn’t get involved, volunteer or fellowship with other believers, ask yourself why and pray about changing. Living this Christian life alone is hard but when you have others around you who love God, are living for Him and growing in Him, your relationship with God will become stronger. Coming to church and getting involved will bless your life and who knows, you may find a wife!!

To my sisters in the Lord

Sisters continue to be patient. God has not forgotten you. Don’t believe the lie that there are no good men out there. Majority of my married friends found their husband at their church. Worldly men can be very aggressive and Christian men, in their attempt to be gentlemen, can sometimes move a little slow. A man who moves slower than usual but is honest and seeking God every step of the way is much better than a man who is only out for one thing. When a new guy comes to church or a Christian event, PLEASE don’t bombard him like a piece of meat. We don’t want to intimate the new male faces and cause them to not come back. Let’s continue to learn how to treat each other like brothers and sisters in Christ. If a friendship develops into a relationship then fine, but don’t force things to happen because you’re tired of waiting. God knows your desires, He knows just want you need and when you need it. Keep trusting in Him.

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6 Responses to “Christian Brothas, Where Are You? Hola If U Hear Me”

  1. LaMonika Says:

    Joy – Thanks for sharing!! I have lots of single, saved female friends who settle for men that do not live their life according to the word of God. Its refreshing and encouraging to hear your thoughts and to know we single folks need to remain patient and not sacrifice our walk with God. Hopefully this will give our single saved men a little more push to make themselves more prevalent in the church!

  2. Teresha "TeRenae" Says:

    Good timing on addressing this. The fact that men have not fully taken ownership in their role as brothers in Christ has been on my heart for awhile now. Thanks for the encouragement and insight-fullness.

  3. esosa Says:

    I think you really hit the nail on the head when you addressed holiness.

    More holiness and less idolatry will cause men to fellowship in Christ and make progress towards their purpose.

    Holy men have no problem fellowshipping with the people of God. Lots of brothers struggle with sin and are low in spiritual confidence.

    They need love, prayer, and they need to fellowship with other brothers to be sharpened and discipled first before they get close to any females.

  4. Janelle Says:

    Joanna this was great! I have heard this question before & the answer was thought provoking. It is an addendum to what Donnie McClurkin has said about church leaders. A male radio listener said that “in his opinion” most congregation members follow thier leaders blindly and never question them. Some men, especially as they get older, recognize game & when a building fund exists for 5-10 years and their is no new building they lose faith in the church but not in God.

    I have learned in my old age that sometimes (ok most of the time) we have to look past the surface and scratch for the substance beneath it. Not trying to justify it but look at it from another angle.

  5. Kim Says:

    Great, thought-provoking blog post, Joanna! 🙂

  6. Marcus Says:

    Just from my perspective what I have seen is men don’t seem to know their place or they don’t feel validated. I talked to my cousin about it and SHE felt the same that men need to understand the role that they play in the Body. Church doesn’t have the same meaning as it once did because when they do come the messages are overwhelmingly ‘pro-feminine’ and the men are the villains. Men need to be reminded that the bible, though not sexist in any way, was written from a patriarchal standpoint. It was written by men with men in the keys roles. Brothers, you have a key role in the functioning of your churches. The women are waiting on us. Lets not make them wait any longer. God has empowered us to take the lead and run with it and I am sure the women would be glad to see it!


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