How To Be A Lover NOT A Nagger

No one likes to be nagged. Nagging is one of the most annoying and frustrating things a person can do I feel. I know that nagging your spouse, significant other, family, friends or children can be tempting at times, but try your best to resist the temptation. We all want things done a certain way in at a certain time BUT  nagging a person in attempts to get them to do things your way isn’t always affective and it certainly doesn’t make them feel closer to you or want to be around you.

Definition of nag: Function: verb Inflected Form(s): nagged; nag·ging
intransitive verb 1 : to find fault incessantly : complain
2 : to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction transitive verb 1 : to irritate by constant scolding or urging 2 : badger, worry

When I clean the house on the weekends, I sometimes ask my husband to do certain projects when he gets time. In my head I really don’t mean when he gets time, I mean as soon as possible however, any task that I give him, I tell myself, “let him do it when he gets ready, don’t nag him, he won’t forget.” He usually always completes the projects and does a great job. The times where it does slip his mind, I try my best to gently remind him instead of nagging him. I’m not perfect but I continue to work on not nagging.

When it comes to daily task, every person moves at their own pace and holds the different task on different levels of value. As wives, when we start to nag our husbands, they get frustrated and eventually an argument may start. If something isn’t getting done in the manner in which you feel it should, kindly remind your husband and if that doesn’t work, for your own sanity you may want to do it yourself. As women, let’s try to love on those around us and not nag, criticize or bark at them. Those behaviors aren’t cute or affective. wrote a list about how to avoid being a nag. Check it out and share your thoughts. What on the list makes sense and what don’t you agree with?

  • Try to feel secure in a relationship. Any misunderstandings can be sorted out, spend quality time with your husband. Make him feel you care for him. He will reciprocate similar feelings
  • Do not be over suspicious. Assuming things can just mar a relationship
  • Give more freedom to your husband. Respect his time and allow him to be on his own for a while. Let him spend the time the way he wants
  • Control your outbursts. You need not get angry over issues. You discuss and sort them out in a more amicable manner
  • Build up trust. Both the partners should repose trust in each other
  • Share the responsibility of bringing up the children. This would reduce the pressure on you
  • Try to mend your habits to suit the likes and dislikes of your husband
  • Convey your criticisms in a gentle way
  • Do not seek attention through nagging
  • Try to understand the cause of your nagging
  • Do not expect all your problems to be solved
  • Try to focus on your own problems and work on them
  • Do not force your decisions on your husband
  • Praise your husband for anything nice he may have done for you
  • Relax and indulge yourself so that your moods improve


6 Responses to “How To Be A Lover NOT A Nagger”

  1. Radhika Sen Gupta Says:

    I’m gonna print this out and stick it up on my wall!! I hate people who nag and recently, much to my dismay, I seem to have become a huge one myself!! thank you for your advice 🙂

  2. Akia Says:

    Another great post and topic Joy! I especially like the part about being suspicious! I think we unmarried/single women need to get that down now. There are a lot of single women who already think that people are out for them or that everybody is against them when in reality, stuff usually has very little to do with them. Now imagine them married and that man has to deal with your constant suspicion about stuff which leads to nagging! Ugh! lol! The key to walking in love is thinking the best about the other person or situation. That will help all kinds of relationships with people. I’m monitoring myself on this stuff as well!

  3. John Wilder Says:

    Thanks for an insightful and educational post to women. They need to hear and heed your message.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  4. shradha puri Says:

    man!!!!!!! dis is wattt i wanted..!!!!

  5. Janna Says:

    Nice, Nice, Nice! I’m a former nagger myself and over the years, I have learned to become a better person and have become a more patient person. I think so many relationships fail because of nagging and both parties not appreciating each other and why they really fell in love.

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