Independent Women and Chivalry

With today being the age of the Independent Woman, I was wondering what role does chivalry play in today’s society. I believe that chivalry is a great thing but I’m sure many modern-day independent women feel other wise. Before we jump into this debate, let’s define what an independent woman is and what chivalry means. The definition of an Independent Woman is a woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and DOES NOT allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports her self on her own entirely and is proud to be able to do so.

Chivalry means: 1 : valiant 2 : of, relating to, or characteristic of chivalry and knight-errantry 3 a : marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women. Chivalry[1] is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are often used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

I believe that being a successful, independent, self sufficient, driven woman is a great thing. I am proud to see so many women being successful and doing their thing BUT sometimes I think we as women take the “I’m independent, I’m running things and I don’t need anyone, esp a man,” attitude way to far. Men are a blessing, an added bonus to our lives. We don’t need them to be happy and content but it is a blessing when a good woman finds a good man!

Women ask yourself this, is a chivalrous man attractive to you? Would you like it if your man did the following things on a regular basis or are these things too much? I know you can do all of these activities on your own but would it be nice and appropriate if your gentlemen did them for you?

1. Opened the car door for you

2. Paid for the majority of the dates

3. Helped you into your coat

4. Pulled out your chair

5. Helped you if you were carrying something heavy

I obtained two college degrees and was making decent money before I married my husband. I was capable of doing things for myself and the few bills that I had, I paid with ease. When Eddie came along he wanted to open my doors, help me with heavy objects, pay for dates, help me with my coat and even gently pull my hair out of my coat for me, after he put my coat on. He did those things during our friendship, courtship, engagement and still during marriage. Though I felt I was an independent and capable woman, I appreciated and enjoyed his chivalrous treatment towards me. I still enjoy and appreciate this about him to this day. My dad was the only man before Eddie that cared for me in such a gentleman way. I think all women should be cared for in such a kind and thoughtful manner.

I don’t understand women who feel that it is weak to let a man open doors and pay for meals. I think it’s good to go back to the old fashion ways courtship and let men be gentleman. If he wants to date you he should ask you, pick u up and pay for you. If he is interested in you, he should give you special treatment and not treat you like one of the boys. Yes you can open your own door but if he wants to be a blessing and open it, it would be a good idea to let him.

**Ladies your thoughts? Gentlemen your thoughts? Please post comments here and not on FB thanks.**

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7 Responses to “Independent Women and Chivalry”

  1. Monica Says:

    Hey Joy
    I totally agree with you. Not only is it nice to be treated like a lady its necessary that any man that wants to date me treat me like a lady.

  2. Lauren Says:

    Hi Joy!

    I whole-heartedly agree with everything you’ve written. And quite honestly, in the past I’ve even been a little offended that some guys don’t do the things you’v listed. But now I realize that not every man knows how or even wants to be chivalrous!

  3. marriagecoach1 Says:

    Speaking as a man, it is easy to be confused. You have some women verbally chastising you for such boorish behavior. Other women like it. Frankly I never had a problem with sex roles although they get mixed sometimes. For example I do all the grocery shopping and cooking in my house. But I like the sex role differences and have always been chivalrous. I am sick to death of the rampant misandry that has infected our society today. You even see it in the commercials where the man is ALWAYS portrayed as a hapless boob who has once again gotten himself, and/or his family yet again only to have the heoric woman swoop in to save the day tossing off condascending remarks to the husband.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  4. marriagecoach1 Says:

    into trouble yet again, wordpress ought to have an edit function on the comments section so you can fix goofs

  5. Janna Says:

    I think society and the television set has brain wash so many women on so many levels. Today many women relied on television images for the answers and does not listen to their hearts nor God. This article is perfect and shows that a woman needs a man and a man needs a woman. Being independent is a gift and having someone by your side makes being independent a blessing in disguise.

  6. Versandra Says:

    Chivalry is not dead in this independent woman’s life. It is mandatory! Great post Joanna.


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