Pregnancy and The Single Saint

 In today’s society many women are focusing on their careers and therefore getting married and pregnant later in life. Back in the day women got married because they were young, uneducated and needed a provider. Now more black women have college degrees then black men and therefore for an educated black woman getting married is a bonus and not a necessity because she can provide for herself. I believe many women desire to be married but getting married isn’t at the top of the list, becoming established and successful is. I got married at 27 and I will be 29 next month and I do not have any children.  I have my bachelors and masters and I’ve been working in my field for 6 years now. I am a successful career woman and I’m proud of it! 

With so many women being single in their late 20’s and early 30’s, I’ve noticed a significant number of single Christian women getting pregnant. These women have grown in God over the years, gotten their education and become established but now they find themselves pregnant. I ask myself if these women got pregnant because they gave God a time frame to produce their husbands and since He didn’t move in their timing, they took matters into their own hands? Have some simply given in to the pressures and temptations of the world? Were some afraid that their biological clocks were ticking or they thought by getting pregnant they would increase the chances of their partner marrying them eventually?

This post is not to judge or look down on anyone.  Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We’re all works in progress and no sin is any bigger than the next. I just want to explore this topic and encourage single women to hold on to the promises of God no matter what you’re believing God for or how long it takes for your blessing to manifest. 

God is faithful and His word is true no matter how long you have to wait patiently in prayer, living holy and seeking after Him. We’re all believing God for things (jobs, cars, more income, spouses, children etc) Even when it feels like you’ve been praying and standing in faith forever KEEP STANDING. The grass is not greener on the other side. Premartial sex is a sin and it comes with a big price. Premartial sex takes you out of fellowship with God for a time, it brings hurt, pain, loneliness, confusion, drama, STDs, AIDs and unplanned pregnancy. Don’t let what others are doing around you sway your beliefs. Don’t get weary in your well doing. Single Christian continue to live holy with joy, knowing that in God’s perfect timing you will be blessed with a mate that will blow your mind.

Single Christians continue to have standards when selecting a partner, continue to set sexual boundaries in your relationships and don’t give in when things get tough. It saddens me to see so many of my Christian sisters getting pregnant or being in relationships with nonbelievers because their tired of waiting on God. God knows whats best for you. Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Please keep standing and believing, God has not forgotten you. Your goal is to be a godly man’s wife in due time, not someone’s baby mama today. God does not need your help, you don’t have to go searching for a man. Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. Keep studying Proverbs 31 and be the woman who God has called you to be. Be the best daughter, sister, professional, Christian etc that you can be. God will honor you for your obedience to him!

To Christians that are dating, set boundaries and fail safes in your relationship to keep you from falling into sexual sin. The bible tells us to put no confidence in the flesh. Don’t put yourself in situations that may cause you to stumble and fall. Be wise in your courtship, dating and engagement. Even once you get married you’ll have to be wise in guard your heart so that you do not fall into sexual temptation with others.

1 Cor 6: 18-22 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Psalm 37: 4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Isaiah 40:29-31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

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12 Responses to “Pregnancy and The Single Saint”

  1. Amina Cameron Says:

    Thank you for not being afraid to address this topic. It’s happening all around us and should be addressed…not to condemn, but to warn those headed in the wrong direction and also to restore those (Gal 6:1) who have fallen.

    I believe it applies, not only to the single (non dating women), but also to unmarried Christian women who are in dating relationships with Christian males who are having trouble fully committing to take things to the next step. But when one come across a man like that, the key is to press pause on the relationship instead of giving him “more” of herself. If not, it could lead to sexual sin and possibly being single & pregnant.

    I truly encourage anyone who has read this (even those who aren’t facing these temptations) to meditate on the Scriptures Joy provided at the end of the blog. The Word works!

    Good stuff Joy!

    • joannawillis Says:

      Thanks Amina for commenting!! I agree with the things you added and I even added a extra paragraph based on the comments you made. I will do another post on setting sexual boundaries in dating. I didn’t want to appear judgmental but the topic does need to be addressed. We all need mercy and love. We must stick on the path that God has for us and trust that His word is true. He has plans for us and He knows best!!

  2. Danielle Says:

    Amen, this is good. It’s not judgment, but wisdom. Although we will always embrace the children and the family, we can’t ignore what the Word says about sexual sin. Fornication is NOT okay, and there’s an eternal consequence. I’m glad to see you addressing this because many may be afraid to be seen as “judgmental”. No judgment here, just truth.

  3. Janelle Says:

    This is a conflicting topic for me, while it is all true I do wonder what my life might be like if I had gotten pregnant before I lost the ability to do so myself. Knowing that I will never conceive or be pregnant is sometimes a hard to swallow especially since I have someone in my life who may be God’s blessing to me. Some women will admit that they don’t want to have children because they are selfish but others will argue that those who do without a family structure in place are as well. Just food for thought.

    • joannawillis Says:

      Janelle I appreciate you sharing your story and thoughts on this subject. I hear where your coming from. You want to be in God’s will and timing, we all do. Even in the worst situations we must continue to keep our eyes on Him. Love u! God has big plans for you lady!

  4. Liara Covert Says:

    Many choices exist in lie. Each one has consequences foreseen and unforeseen. Every encounter is also a timeless teacher. The heart and soul see only opportunities for love, forgiveness and unconditional acceptance whereas the mind identifies separation or difference from others and opportunities to judge. At a given moment, each person is invited to make the choices that feel right. Nobody has anything to prove. Just be.

  5. Maxine Herron Says:

    I am so glad you address this issue because there are so many women who need to know this information.

  6. Gia Says:

    This hits home with several of my friends! Thank you for addressing this. Patience is a challenging task, but I try to keep telling myself (and my loved ones) that with God, it will be WORTH THE WAIT!

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