Chocolate or Vanilla? Black Women and Interracial Dating

Have you ever dated outside of your race? Growing up, were you discouraged or encouraged to date men outside of your race? With the so called “shortage” of black men, do you feel pressure to look for dating opportunities outside of your race?

My thoughts on interracial dating is simple, I don’t care about the color of a man’s skin, as long as he has a true and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. At the end of the day, a man’s desire to love God, hear his voice, follow his leadership and love his girlfriend/wife with all of his heart is what is important. I do believe that many black women are afraid to date outside of their race for fear of what others may think of them. We have to break free from people pleasing and learn to follow God’s leading and leave everyone else’s desires for us behind. There is a whole world out there that we have yet to explore and many people we have yet to meet. Let’s not be closed minded or put God in a box.

Yes the stats prove that many of our black men are in jail or on the “down low” and many don’t have the college education that black women do BUT that does not mean that God can’t produce for you the man you desire. Psalm 37:4 tells us that God will grant us the desires of our hearts. If your desire is an educated black man who loves God, than God can do it. Don’t let the news or that statics tell you what you can and can’t have. As believers, we should always believe the report of the Lord. The news will tell you that you can’t have a baby past a certain age, you won’t be able to find a good man, in this economy you won’t be able to find a good job, etc. As Christian’s we don’t receive any of that! What God has for us is for us. Love comes in all packages. Don’t go looking for any type of guy, let him find you. When a good godly man comes along, no matter what race, take it slow and listen to the Holy Spirit on the inside of you.

SIlive.com posted an interesting article about black women being urged to date outside of their race. Below are some exerts from that article.

Single black women with college degrees outnumber single black men with college degrees almost 3 to 1 in major urban areas, according to a 2008 population survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. Given those numbers, any economist would advise them to start looking elsewhere.

“Consider your options,” she says. Expand your horizons. Stop listening to your girlfriends. Forget about the brothers calling you a sellout. Get over those old images of slavery and stop blaming every white man for sins perpetrated by others. ”

“In short,” Folan says, “some black women choose to demonize all white men rather than look objectively at the facts of our modern times, which are these: Some men, whatever their race, are bad for us. And the converse is true as well. Some men, whatever their race, are good for us.”

“I just want to keep encouraging all black women to celebrate themselves,” Folan says, “We are beautiful, resilient, strong, capable. We deserve men who will love us, no matter the skin color.”

Instead of listening to others’ admonitions about white men, Folan says, “maybe we can look at the content of his character.” And instead of assuming white men don’t find black women attractive, consider, for a moment, that some do.

http://www.silive.com/relationships/index.ssf/2010/03/black_women_urged_to_date_outside_their_race.html

Question: What are your thoughts on the article? What do you think about interracial dating and the so called shortage of black men?

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2 Responses to “Chocolate or Vanilla? Black Women and Interracial Dating”

  1. Joanna Holmes Says:

    I didn’t marry one, but I did date one. It makes zero sense to be by yourself if you’d rather be with a Godly supportive guy.

    Now, his family and yours might not be able to deal for a while–especially depending on where you live in this country! LOL!!! But humility and love are the best ways to help them see what is true, beautiful and lovely.

    Even if they don’t get it, living your life has 100% to do with living your life…


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