Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal
Sex is a two-way treat. – Franklin P Jones
Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got. – Sophia Loren
The growing joke in today’s society is that men love sex and women could do without it. While it is a known fact that majority of men’s sex drives are larger than women, women love sex too. In some marriages, the wives want sex more than the husbands. Many women love sex, their just not thinking about it all throughout the day. Women have to multi task and take care of many things. We often take care of everyone else and neglect our own needs. By the time we’ve put out fires at work and at home, we aren’t always in the most sexiest of moods at night. When women are stressed, we do enjoy making loving to our husbands but sex may not always be the first thing on our minds. Sometimes after a stressful day women think, “I can’t wait to get home, put on some comfy clothes, eat dinner and rest.” Husbands sometimes think, “man today was stressful, can’t wait to go home and have sex with my wife.” Men and women just think and desire different things. I once heard someone say, if men and women always desired sex at the same time, nothing would ever get done.
This post is dedicated to wives who need a few tips on how to cope with their husbands’ large sex drives. As wives, we want to meet our husband’s sexual needs, have a good attitude and enjoy coming together with them as much as they do with us. Married sex is awesome and being able to come together with my spouse as often as I want to is a beautiful thing. Married sex is to be celebrated and desired.
Merriam Webster online dictionary defines the word gynormous as: (adjective) : Having an unusual size; being bigger than enormous (adjective) : biggest of big (adjective) : Of large proportions – though tending to be smaller in size than something which is “gymongous”. (adjective) : Giant, exceptionally huge, large.
While I am being humorous by using the word gynormous, many women may describe their husband’s sex drives by using that word. When a woman desires sex 3 times a week and her husband desires sex 10 times a week, it can be frustrating and overwhelming for both of them. I hope this post is helpful for wives who find themselves in that situation.
Sex is VERY important in marriage. Many people have lots of sex before they get married and then hardly have sex once they are married. As Christian’s we know that we are to remain holy and abstain from sex before marriage. To me it is even more important to have a lot of sex and meet your husband’s sexual needs because he waited to say I Do before having a sex life with you!
The night before my wedding, once Eddie and my two best friends left, my mom sat me down to talk, read the bible and pray with me. She told me that most men have large sex drives and due to Eddie being a virgin, I needed to anticipate him desiring a lot of sex. She explained that it was important for me to love on Eddie and meet his needs. Earlier that week, she took me to Macy’s and purchased nice under garments for me so that I would be prepared for my honeymoon and married life. She read 1 Peter 3:1-5 AMP to me and emphasized verses 1-2:
1IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
2When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your [a] reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
She also reminded me of the important of maintaining my relationship with God and making time to pray and read my word even though my life would be busier now that I had a family to care for. My mom told me that I would need a prayer life to be able to submit, serve and have frequent sex with my husband because it won’t always be easy. She was so right and I appreciate her godly wisdom that night and always!
Tips to help meet your husbands sexual needs
1. PRAY!! Seek Holy Spirit! When you are tired, not feeling the greatest, busy cooking dinner or enjoying your own leisure time and your husband wants sex, go into the bathroom and pray. Ask Holy Spirit to refresh you, give you energy, joy, patience and the ability to love on your husband and meet his needs. You don’t want to constantly reject your husband. You want him to know that he is loved and desired by you. We NEVER want another woman to uplift, encourage or listen to our husbands more than us!!
It’s not that we as wives don’t enjoy sex or want it, we may not want it at the moment that our husbands do. When this happens, sometimes it can be frustrating because you are being asked to stop what your during to have sex and you’re not even in the mood. Say a prayer, freshened up and rock his world! When your hubby is happy, he will keep you happy! That’s how it is in my house. Eddie will give me the world because he knows I take good care of him and prefer him over myself often. He does the same for me.
2. Seek him out for sex when you have energy and can focus on you two pleasing each other. Wives want to enjoy sex and be pleased just as much as husbands! If your husband often seeks sex from you late at night when your tired and not at your best, you may want to try seeking him out for sex when your mentally and physically able to concentrate on him and passionate love making. Men like it when their wives show excitement to be with them. It turns them on and makes them feel loved. No one wants to feel that they are making their mate talk, spend time or make love them to. Your husband may feel how you feel about sex when it comes to your need for communication, affection and romance. Both the husband and wife need to work hard to meet each other’s needs. No one wants to be rejected. Husbands need to make time to talk, romance, show affection and love to their wives. Wives need to find the time of morning, day or night that they are at their best to make love to their husbands.
3. When a rain check is needed, make sure you convey it with love, kindness and respect. Don’t say “no, I don’t feel like it, stop touching me please.” Try to say something like this “baby, I really wish I could right now but I am tired, I don’t feel well, I’m sort of busy with work right now BUT I got you in an hour or in the morning.” Whatever the barrier is, explain your dilemma and ask if he doesn’t mind waiting a little bit. Husbands need to be understand and know that when they don’t put pressure on their wives and demand that they have sex right here and right now, their wives will desire them more. We all need to be understanding of one another. If you ask for a rain check, you must keep your word. If you say you got him in the morning, make sure you wake up, take a shower, smell good, then wake him up and show him that it was worth the wait. Try not to give rain checks more than being available when he asks. You don’t want him to put you and your needs off often.
4. Find ways to make yourself feel sexy. When we as women feel sexy and comfortable in our own skin, we feel more passionate and prepared for sex. For some ladies, lingerie makes them feel sexy, for others it’s candles and music. Some ladies like to take a shower and put on smell goods. Whatever helps you get into the mood, make sure you take the time to do it. Men like confident women. Husbands don’t like it when their wives are ashamed of their bodies and always trying to cover up. Work with whatever God gave you and rock his world. Send him to sleep or to work with a gynormous smile on his face!
Married sex is pleasing in God’s eyes. He created sex for married couples to enjoy it!! Sex is an important part of marriage. If you need counseling to assist you and your mate with breaking free of sexual barriers, pray about where to go. Get help, get free and enjoy becoming one together!!