A Woman’s Worth: Were More Than Hoes and Tricks

“I’m not sure black folks fully understand the power that media has in our life. We are becoming who they portray us as being. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a collection of negative statistics. Simon says dress like a gangster, and we do. I’m amazed by what I see on television or in the movies. I’m saying, either I overslept or someone stole my culture.” – Actor Tim Reid (“WKRP in Cincinnati”), quoted by the Associated Press on April 18, 2003

In today’s society it is acceptable to degrade women by calling them names and showing them as sex objects for men’s pleasure in music videos, cable and non cable shows and even cartoons. No wonder the statics of rape, violence, teen pregnancy and single parent homes continues to rise. As long as people continue to turn their heads and ignore the harmful effects that the media is having on their families, they will continue to die spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially.

The mess that comes on the radio these days is unbelievable. It’s as if each artist is trying to out do the other with vulgar, stupid and sexually explicit lyrics. Why people allow their children to listen to these songs and even buy these CDs is beyond me. If you wonder why the youth around you are promiscuous, fighting each other, suffering from low self-esteem, eating disorders, dressing fast and disrespecting each other, please examine the media entertainment that they hear and view each day. Trust me, there is a correlation.

The media today has a major impact on women. Many women call themselves bitches out of pride and when angry they call each others hoes and tricks. All over the world there are women dancing in clubs to R&B and rap music that’s calling them all kinds of derogatory names and suggesting that all they are good for is sex. But many women don’t know their value or worth and therefore they get dressed half naked, head to the club and shake they tail feather hoping to be noticed. “Oh girl this my jam.”

The short time that I was on the club scene, I never felt sexy in the club. I always felt like I was in a sweaty meat market, where drunk guys were staring at me and trying to grind on me. It wasn’t fun and therefore I think I went about 4 times between the ages of 18-19. Even though I was out of fellowship with God, I knew that I was worth more than what that environment had to offer me.

The question becomes WHY do we as women support music, movies and books that degrade us and make us appear to be nothing more than sex objects? Do people not know what the definitions of the words are that they’re being called? Or do they just not care? Here are the definitions of bitch, hoe and trick.

Hoe- a promiscuous female. a prostitute. Diminutive form of “whore.” Also ho.

Trick- a sex act performed by a prostitute for money. A person being used in a relationship sense for money or what they can do for the user.

Bitch- The female of the dog or other canine. In particular one who has recently had puppy, puppies.
context, vulgar, derogatory) A malicious, spiteful, unbearable, intrusive or mean woman or girl

After reading these definitions, what do you think? Do these words describe you? We are what we say we are. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

I used to curse up a storm. I called women out their names and listened all types of vulgar, degrading and straight ignorant rap music. I danced at college parties to music that was putting me down. The more I listened to that music, the more I behaved like it, spoke like it and thought like it. I was angry, lost, lonely, lustful and deceived. I had to break free of the crazy lifestyle that the music promoted and the only way to do that was to STOP listening, watching, reading and supporting crap that put me down and caused me to act crazy.

In 2002 when I rededicated my life to Christ, my room-mate and I broke up our secular CDs, we threw out movies and books that were speaking against the word of God. We made a conscious decision to live right all cost. We knew being sold out Christians wasn’t going to be easy but if we didn’t clean our apartment of that crap, we knew we’d fail our race between we even got at the start line. Not all secure books and music is bad. Seek God and His word about what media you should and should not support.

If you’re trying to live holy for God but continue to stumble, examine your environment and media intake. Who are you hanging around? What messages are you receiving from the movies, videos, books, radio etc. Seek God, trust what He tells you to do and trust that He will fill your life with the things that you need and want. There are all types of gospel music and Christian novels out there. My CD and book collection is bigger now than ever before!! My self esteem, attitude, behavior and language is much better now too. All glory goes to God. I have to continue to seek His face, His presence and His word regarding who I am in Him. I am not perfect but I strive to be more like Christ each day. We all are called to live holy and according to His word. In Christ I am drama free. I’m not wasting my time, money or energy on things that hurt me and put me down. I am beauitful inside and out and fearfully and wonderfully made. I’m God’s precious daughter and I deserve nothing but the best. The same goes for each of you!!! Support messages that lift you up and not put you down. When you change what you hear to positive things, you will start to carry yourself in a positive way. We teach people how to treat us so remember to carry yourself in a way that deserves respect.


One Response to “A Woman’s Worth: Were More Than Hoes and Tricks”

  1. rolisia Says:

    I must of missed this blog….so well written and reminded me of our cd breaking up party. HS was working us and it feels so good to be free from all that nonsense….the music today is out of ccontrol. I was skimming the radio yesterday and heard two snippets of a song that made me cringe….he like the way I ride it and another song where a man is yelling I am going to tear\beat it up. Ok and we wonder why rape and teens having sex is high…this is madness.

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