I started thinking about marriage and a few things I have learned over the last two years and I felt lead to share a few tips with my readers. Whether you are married or desire to be married one day, I think you will find this post helpful.
We all know that marriage is lots of fun and lots of work! Like everything, it has its joys and challenges. As wives, how we handle situations and the attitude we maintain determine the outcome. Here are six helpful wife tips. Read them over and let me know what you think.
1) With the summer time coming, try to find an outside sport or activity that you and your honey can do together. I know my husband likes to play tennis. We started playing tennis together last year and we had lots of fun. I am NOT a sports gal but I know that my husband likes to be outside and active so I am trying to adapt to being active also. Recreational companionship is vital in marriage. Find something that you both like to do, whether it’s walking on an outside trail, going to the park and jogging, tennis, basketball, golf etc. Doing this will help you all to become closer, spend time together having fun and burning calories. If we don’t do activities with our husbands, we may find that they will start spending more time hanging with the fellas. Time with our friends is very important but there needs to be a balance. Married couples should spend more time together than apart in my opinion.
2) When your husband is quiet, it probably means that he’s thinking and does not feel like talking. If he’s sitting quietly, ask him if he’s okay and if he would like to talk. If he says nothings wrong but continues to sit in silence, ask him if you can get him anything or if he would just like some time alone. If he isn’t in a talkative mood or if he’s sort of snappy with you, just say a prayer for him and give him some space. I am taking my own advice on this one especially because I don’t like it when my husband is quiet because he’s naturally outgoing and talkative. I have to learn to respect his need to be quiet and let him have his space. I just continue to pray for him and check on him every now and then. This doesn’t happen often so when it does I let him have his moment.
Men have a lot of pressure to deal with on their jobs and regarding taking care of us and their homes. When things aren’t going right in their careers or with the finances, they may sit and think intensely for a while because their trying to find solutions to the problems. Thank God for men who care about the issues of the family and are seeking God on how to resolve them!
3) A lot of my friends are pregnant with their first babies now. One wise piece of advice that I received from a mother of two from our church was this: make sure you include your husband in the parenting, disciplining and bonding time with the children. What she was telling me was sometimes as mother’s we become so particular with how we want the children to be feed or bathed for example that we fuss at our husbands when they don’t do it correctly and this may disagree them from continuing to try. As long as the child is not being neglected or hurt, let your husband have his time with the children to bath, feed, read or dress them without you hovering over them.
My parents taught me growing up that husbands and wives should always remain a team when it comes to discipline. They were a great example for my brother and I regarding marriage, parenting and discipline. Here is what they taught me. We were all raised differently, we have different views on the correct way to discipline children. It is up to the parents to meet, away from the children, to discuss the children’s behaviors and what discipline is appropriate for the particular action. Never argue in front of the children about what their punishment should be and never go behind the other parent’s back and change the punishment. Always show a united front when it comes to the children and don’t let them divide you two. When the children are older and long gone, it will only be you two alone in the house again and you don’t want to hate each other by that point.
My parents are celebrating their 30th marriage anniversary this year. They’ve had an empty nest for a little over two years now and they are loving it! They’ve expanded their bedroom and redesigned other rooms in the house. They’re honeymooners again and I love to see them happy! They weren’t at each other’s throats constantly during the child rearing years and now they can reap the benefits of their labor!
4) If you are overwhelmed, tired and need your husband to help out more more around the house, pray about the right time and words to share this with him. You may want to cook him a nice meal and at dinner tell him what areas you need his help in. We never get through to our husbands by nagging or yelling at them. If you can speak to him when he’s relaxed and not busy, that would be a great time to let him know what you need. Say something like this “baby I so appreciate everything you do for me and our family. I know you have a lot going on but you still take the time do to things like take out the trash and keep gas in the car. Lately I’ve been feelings a little overwhelmed with the house work and cooking everyday. I wanted to talk to you about ways you can help me a few times a month with certain things so that I can get a little more rest. You let me know what things you would be good at or have the time to do.” If you say this with a good attitude and open heart to receive his answer, hopefully he will respond correctly. If this does not work, just keep praying. God is faithful. He will soften his heart and open his eyes eventually. Keeping loving and respecting him in the mean time.
5) I am subscribed to a blog entitled Daily Generous Wife Tips. The author Lori sent this post out on 6/2/2010 and I found it to be very helpful. Here is the point that she spoke on that day. The post was titled “Receive with Grace.” Guys have a fascination for body parts (it’s the visual thing). It’s not meant to be a slight. It’s really just about how they are wired. That doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate all of you or that they only want you for sex, it’s just when they are being sexual they will notice and want to touch body parts. I encourage y’all to understand that when your husband grabs for you, it’s just an expression of his sexuality and not a personal slight. Your husband just loves to touch what appeals to him. In a very real sense, if you reject his touch, you are rejecting him. If you receive with grace his little touches here and there you are accepting him and setting the stage for a more full expression of love at a later time. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird) Be generous! Lori http://www.the-generous-wife.com/
I could totally relate to this post because my husband often reaches to touch me in some way everyday. He loves my body and loves to be near me. This is a great thing in theory but sometimes I honestly don’t feel like being touched. Sometimes he says playfully, “baby don’t reject me,” with his handsome smile. He told me that he just loves to be near me and he’s trying to be affectionate with me. I learned to smile and feel honored when he reaches to touch me instead of pulling away of looking annoyed. I don’t want him touching or desiring anyone else and I want to meet his heads. When I go to lay my head on his chest or cuddle with him at night, he never pulls away from me. He meets my needs and I meet his. That is what marriage is about.
6. Never get to busy to pray! Often times we as women spend more time taking care of others then we do ourselves. Many of us are working full-time, serving at our churches, taking care of our husbands, children, family, friends, the house and the dog. No matter what we have going on in our outside lives, we MUST set aside quiet time to pray, seek God, rest in his peaceful presence and get wisdom and instruction from Him. He keeps us energized, not the coffee/tea that we drink each morning!! Seeking God’s face and His word keeps us from going off on our husbands when they start to frustrate us. We are all human but God is asking us to walk in the spirit and not in the flesh. We must continue to seek Him daily to make sure we stay in the spirit. When you mess up and step into the flesh, make sure you repent, turn in the opposite direction and keep going.