25 Reasons Women Should Love Men

Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

The man who has submitted his will and purposes entirely to God, carries God with him in all his works and in all circumstances.
Meister Eckhart

Right now somewhere in the world, a group of women are having a conversation about why men are no good. They’re calling men names and putting them down because they’ve suffered bad experiences at the hands of men. While the majority of women have a few stories about men, whether about their father, brother, cousin, uncle, grandpa, teacher, neighbor or lover who did them wrong, it ISN’T fair to adopt the attitude that all men are dogs, stupid and dishonest. God created man and He made man in His image. There are some awesome men in the world; I married one, was raised by one, grew up with one and know plenty. Thank you Lord for the men in my life. We need to celebrate the positive men that we know are handling business, going to work everyday, raising their children, serving at their churches, volunteering in their communities, being faithful to God and their wives etc.

We need to have positive confessions over the men in our lives. God created men and therefore men are good. I’m so glad we don’t live in a female only world. I can’t imagine life without men in it. I love my man and ALL that he does for me. He is my blessing and I am his. 

Here is a list of 20 positive things that men are. I thought of my husband, father, brother, male family members and friends when I was composing the  list. If you have men in your life who are struggling in some of these areas, continue to confession that they are those things in Jesus name! Continue to pray, encourage, uplift and support the men in your life. Call those things which be not as though they were!! And if you are believing God for a husband, continue to pray for him and call him the characteristics below that you desire him to be.

There are good men in the world and if you continue to attract the wrong ones, maybe you need to take some time to examine yourself ( and ask God why you continue to attract men that are bad for you. The cycle must stop. Your too precious in God’s sight to continue to get messed over) When I was 21, I discovered that the few boys, not men, that I dated had only been treating me how I ALLOWED them to treat me and therefore if I wanted to be mad at anyone, I realized I had to be mad at myself. I willingly made bad choices because I had rejected God’s way and adopted the world’s way. I rededicated my life to Christ and I changed my environment, attitude, associations, thought patterns and places that I hung out. Because of my lifestyle starting to line up with the word of God, I started hanging out with other singles at my church and I met my husband. Single ladies, just food for thought.

Women Should Love Men Because Men are:

1. Strong
2. Good with their hands
3. Protectors
4. Providers
5. Leaders
6. Sexy
7. Intelligent
8. Problem solvers
9. Funny
10. Talented
11. Athletic
12. Compassionate
13. Romantic
14. Passionate lovers
15. Determined
16. Helpful 
17. Loving
18. Created by God (in His image)
19. Hard working
20. Great fathers
21. Great husbands
22. Goal oriented
23. Heroes
24. Willing to put their lives on the line for their families
25. Dedicated to Christ

Ten Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open.

by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize these 10 insights.

#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married.

The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after their married… for the worst!”

So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.

Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love” often means, “I’m in lust.” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’s character?

Here are four character traits to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort?

Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he’s going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?

Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

#3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn’t understand what a woman needs most.

Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t “get it.” Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them.

The unique need of a woman is to be loved — to feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.

This is most apparent in Judaism’s approach to intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “Men have two speeds: on and off.” Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.

#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities.

There are three basic ways we connect with another person:

  1. chemistry and compatibility
  2. share common interests
  3. share common life goal

Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re “living for,” while you’re single — and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you.

This is the true definition of a “soul mate.” A soul mate is a goal mate — two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

#5. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.

Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.

It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.

To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: “Do I respect and admire this person?”

This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc.

Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

#7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.

Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!

Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship.

Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.

Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There’s a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions.” A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

#8. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table.

Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?

Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, then you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

#9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.

If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too.

If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them.

If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.

#10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.

To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money.

Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that’s no basis for a marriage.

http://www.aish.com/d/w/48955756.html

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6 Habits to Keep Your Marriage Happy, Hot and Healthy

This morning my honey and I decided to go on a walk/jog around our complex. It was a beautiful out and we were happy to get in some exercise together. We did a lot of jogging and by the end we were both feeling the burn.

While we were out, we ran into four of our older neighbors who were also walking around the complex. The four of them were smiling at us and greeted us with pleasant good mornings. One of the ladies said something that puzzled us. She said, “it’s just so nice to see you two doing things together.” We thanked her and kept walking. We started talking and asking ourselves, why wouldn’t we be doing things together? The sad thing is, many married couples don’t spend a lot of free time together. People these days don’t get to see many couples that want to be around each other and enjoy each other. The tone in the older lady’s voice gave us the impression that she didn’t see couples like us often. I believe that it’s vitally important that couples make each other and their marriage a priority.

It’s a good idea to get into good habits so that your marriage can be happy, hot and healthy!! If more people’s marriages were happy, hot and healthy, they would want to spend the majority of their time together and you wouldn’t be able to pull them apart! Let’s all strive to make our marriages better! Here is an article that I found entitled 6 Habits of Happily Married Couples.

HABIT #1 – GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal — which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?”

To monitor how you’re doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

HABIT #2 – CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following “greeting ritual” at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, “Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!”

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a “date night” at least every other week.

HABIT #3 – CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It’s common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 – USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the “listener-speaker technique.” The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here’s how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully “heard,” do you then proceed to problem solving.

HABIT #5 – CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear — or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of “turning toward” as opposed to “turning away.”

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.

Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect — by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it’s a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who “turn away” from each other don’t develop closeness. It’s a basic principle stated in the Talmud, “A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed.”

HABIT #6 – INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: “After you’re married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?” And I usually follow-up by saying, “And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?”

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.

Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

http://www.aish.com/f/m/48937667.html

I put the word HOT in the title because if you and your spouse are communicating appropriately, working out issues the right way, spending time together, being respectful and loving and cultivating your friendship, your marriage WILL BE HOT, PASSIONATE AND STEAMING!!

Thank you Lord for every married person that reads this post. Bless them and their mate. Help them to walk according to your word and trust you in every area of their lives and marriage. Thank you Lord in advance for all their needs being met. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Question: Which habits stuck out to you? Were there any that you didn’t agree with? Forward this post to others that you think may need to read it. Lets help produce happy, hot and healthy relationships.

STOP You Don’t Need It: 11 $ Saving Tips

 

 Stop Paying For Things You Don’t Need

I was researching ways to save money online and I came across this article by Mary Hunt. I was glad to see that we have implemented a few of her tips already. We all need to be good stewards over our money and make sure that we aren’t throwing it away. My husband and I pay our tithes, bills, attempt to put money in the savings (learning to do better in that area) and have money left over to bless others and ourselves. I hate when I feel like I wasted my money on something and therefore, I’m always looking for ways to cut corners and save money. I hope this article is helpful to you.

 

1. Extended Warranties

 Generally, they’re not worth the money. (The only thing I now have a warranty on is my laptop computer, and that’s because I practically beat it to death.) If a new gadget or appliance is going to fail, research tells us it will do so during the manufacturer’s warranty period or long after the extended warranty has expired. That makes extended warranties, which can cost anywhere from $5 to hundreds of dollars, a big profit center for retailers and a pretty useless expense for consumers.

Get Smart: If you’re worried about a breakdown, take the money you’d spend on a warranty and stash it into a special savings account. If your item fails, you’ll have the money to repair it. If not (which is more likely), in three or five years when everything’s gone well, you’ll have stashed away a nice little nest egg.

2. Gym Fees

The sales pitch is compelling and the promise of better health is hard to deny. But getting roped into a legal obligation to pay a big monthly fee for the next two or three years—whether you use the gym or not—makes no sense.

Get Smart: Find a gym or health club that requires no contract (you pay by the month if and when you desire). Or don’t pay at all: There’s a big wonderful world out there where you can walk, jog or run for free!

3. Fast-Food Runs

 You know how ridiculous it is to spend $3 or $4 for coffee—over and over, day after day. But how about the other snacks and food purchases that can cause your bank account to evaporate? A morning egg sandwich here, an afternoon bag of chips there…before you know it, you’ve spent $20 or more a week.

Get Smart: Before you leave the house in the morning, figure out how much cash you’ll need for the day, then take only that amount with you. Bring your own snacks and pack a brown-bag lunch to reduce costs even more.

4. Cell Phone Apps and Ringtones

OK, so it’s cool to have ringtones, apps and games on your cell. And sure, $2 to $3 a pop or $10 a month may not seem like a lot of money for so much fun. But watch out. You can blow through a lot of cash in no time.

Get smart: Make a hard-and-fast rule that you do not pay for ringtones, apps or games—then find them for free. They’re out there; you just have to search for the ones that work on your particular phone and with your service provider. Check out Phonezoo.com or Myxer.com. You can even make your own ringtones for free, using MP3s you already own.

5. Fees (Late, Over Limit or Worse):

Not paying attention to your bills is a big mistake these days, when banks are doing all they can to boost their profits. Getting your credit card payment in late can mean a $39 whack on the wrist. Being sloppy with your bank account and bouncing a check can cost you around $27.

Get smart: Find your inner private detective. Go over every statement and question every entry. Don’t know what it is? Find out! Get bold! If you’re charged a fee for something silly like allowing your balance to drop a few bucks below the agreed-upon minimum or sending your payment a day late, call customer service. Explain that this is so not like you, as evidenced by your clean record. Then ask them to waive the fee or reverse the charge if it has already been assessed to your account.

6. Landline

Extras Have you looked at your home phone bill lately? I mean really carefully? You could be paying for features you never use: call forwarding, call waiting, who knows what else. Those add-ons could be costing you $15 a month or more.

Get smart: Can’t find a recent bill? Pick up the phone and call customer service. If you use your mobile phones more often than your home landline, consider canceling the bells and whistles to get your home service down to the bare minimum.

7. Rental Car Insurance

Saying yes can add anywhere from $9 to $30 or more per day to the cost of the car. That’s a waste if you carry insurance on your cars at home, or if you pay with a credit card that offers rental car insurance as a perk. Your existing auto policy may be all you need if it includes third-party liability, collision and comprehensive coverage for rentals (most do!).

Get smart: Before you even get to the car rental counter, call your insurance agent to make sure you’re covered. Check your credit card’s terms and conditions, too.

8. Computer Software

You got a great deal on that new computer, so why go broke loading it up with software? Before you spend a dime, take a look at all the freeware out there. You’ll find programs written by enthusiasts and distributed with no strings attached: games, graphics, office suites, fonts, every kind of desktop tool and gadget imaginable.

Get smart: Check out FreewareHome.com, an index site that lists more than 5,500 programs that really are free. No request for money in the documentation, no nag screens asking for payment or donations, no time limits!

9. Unlimited Texting

Most cell phone plans include a certain number of texts with the basic service. Texting is fun, but it can get out of control in a big hurry. Upgrading to an unlimited plan can add $15 (about $180 per year per phone on your cell plan) just so you can engage in a lot of meaningless chatter. How dumb is that?

Get Smart: Forget the upgrades. Scale back to a limited number of text messages for you and the kids, too. A little self-discipline could be a good thing for everyone involved.

10. Bottled Water

You’ve got to hand it to the bottled water industry. They’ve managed to convince otherwise rational people to pay around 800 times more to purchase water in a bottle rather than get it from the tap. These days a 16-oz bottle of “spring” water goes for about a dollar, which works out to about $8 a gallon—twice the cost of milk, and roughly on par with soft drinks. Home delivery is less per gallon, but still around $40 a month, according to online averages. However, 16 8-oz glasses of tap water cost about a penny. Bottom line: You’ve heard it before, but now you have to do it. Lay off the bottled water!

Get Smart: The next time you feel thirsty, turn on the tap. Don’t like the taste of your tap water? Invest in a filter pitcher or install an inexpensive faucet filter. You’ll still come out ahead.

11. Music Downloads

Unless you’ve got money to burn, paying 99¢ or more per tune can add up. But not to worry. There are plenty of ways to get free music downloads, all totally legal and easy to access.

Get Smart: Check out the free classical catalog at ClassicCat.net. Or take advantage of the free downloads section at Rhapsody.com. Want country? At CountryWeekly.com, click on “Free Music Downloads” under “Music.” At Amazon.com, click on “Digital Downloads” from the left hand menu, then “MP3 Downloads.” On the left under “Browse MP3s,” there’s a Most Popular category. There you’ll see an option for “Free Songs & Special Deals.”

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Money/Saving-Money/Stop-Paying-for-Things-You-Don-t-Need.html

Questions: Which tips are you doing? Which tips do you want to consider trying? Was this article helfpul?

If you enjoyed this blog post, I encourage you to subscribe to receive emails regarding future post. The subscribe button is located at the top left corner of the blog. Once you enter your email and hit “sign me up,” you will have to open your email and confirm the subscription. Thank you in advance for your support.

Will The Real Proverbs 31 Women Please Stand Up

Majority of Christian women have read the Proverbs 31 passage before but today I felt lead to post it in the Amplified, to get a break down each verse and mediate on its meaning. I want to be a woman that glorifies God in all things; my mind, body, soul, career, speak, actions, marriage etc. What better way to make sure I am living according to the word of God, then to study His word and discover exactly what He says a good woman is. I don’t care what the world defines a good or valuable woman as, I only care what God says. He created me, He is my source and strength, and He is my delivery. I highlighted some of the verses that really blessed me and made me think about how I wanted to be better.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (AMP)

10A capable, intelligent, and [b]virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her Proverbs 31:10-31value is far above rubies or pearls.(D)

    11The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

    12She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

    13She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].

    14She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a far [country].

    15She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.(E)

    16She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]

    17She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.

    18She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].

    19She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

    20She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].

    21She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.(F)

    22She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].(G)

    23Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.(H)

    24She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].

    25Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!

    26She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].

    27She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.(I)

    28Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],

    29[c]Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.

    30Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!

    31Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!(J)

What I hear Proverbs 31 saying is that as women of God we need to be:

1.  capable and smart.

2. Good with our hands.

3. Wise with regards to money and business deals.

4. Spiritual leaders.

5. Motivated and not lazy.

6. Multitaskers.

7. Spiritually, mentally and physically fit.

8. Giving

9. Fearless.

10. Skillful.

11. Wise

12. Drama free.

13. Good wives and mothers.

Seek God today and ask Him to help you to sharpen some of the skills that you read in the above passage. God is faithful, He will grant you your request.

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6 Steps To Keep Your Perspective in Check

We attend Word of Faith International Christian Center in Southfield, MI and yesterday Pastor MiChelle Butler brought an awesome message entitled Change Your Perspective. Pastor MiChelle gave 6 Steps To Keep Your Perspective in Check. Here are the notes that I took from the message. The message was a huge blessing to my house hold and I’m sure it will bless yours as well.

Thank you Pastor MiChelle for your diligence and obedience to bring this message forth. Your humor and own life experiences always help to bring your messages full circle. We love and appreciate you.

1)    Make a quality decision to be better.

v     Romans 12:1 (NIV) Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

2)    See yourself how God sees you. Keeping your perspective starts with how you see you.

v    Be careful of the all or nothing mentality.

v     Don’t wait until everything is perfect to step out in faith and do what you’re called to do or to get right with God.

v     It’s better to start walking with God and still struggle with some things because the more you develop a relationship with him, you will get free of the things that were hang ups for you initially.

v     God is a right now God.

v     Let God put His super on your natural.

v     Hebrews 11:6 (KJV) But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

v     Matt 12:31 (KJV) The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

v     If I said to some people, love on me how you love yourself, I would have to run because they don’t love themselves.

v     You were born single, learn how to be single and love you, see God’s perspective regarding who you are and your life.

v     We live in a world that makes us feel negative about ourselves. Women compare themselves to celebrities and video girls.

v     1 Corinthians 6:20 (KJV) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

v     There is nothing in this world more important to God but you.

v     John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

3)    Be thankful for where you are now.

v     Phil 4:11 (KJV) Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

v    God blesses grateful people.

v    The bible story of the ten leopards. Only one turned back to say thank you.

v    God is in the business of blowing your mind and restoring your life.

v    If your perspective if always looking at what you don’t have, you will throw away what you do have.

4)    Be honest about what affects you.

v     Under pressure, what you put in yourself is what will come out.

v     If you always compare yourself to others, you will always be average.

v     Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

v     The music you listen to, the clubs or other places that you go, the company you keep; they all mold your perspective.

v     If you’re single and trying to be holy, stop listening to lustful music and watching lust filled TV shows and movies.

v     Be aware of your temptations and know what affects you.

v     Your perceptive is off if it does not line up with the word of God.

v     Just because everybody’s doing it, doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting you.

v     Lust and sin start with a thought.

v     Hebrews 12:1 (KJV) Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

v     We are all capable of despicable things; it’s only His grace that keeps us.

v     Thank God that someone was praying for me when I was tripping and he opened my eyes to see that he had better for me.

v     I don’t want to live my life in recovery; I want to live life in victory.

5) Be consistent, don’t quit.

6) Trust God.

v    Protect your perspective (the way you think)

v    Be consistent in the Word. When things go bad, read the Word, play some gospel CDs or call a praying family member or friend.

v    Your perspective should be God’s perspective, keep it in check.

Question: Which of the 6 steps are you working on currently? Which key points spoke to you?

The message was a blessing to me because it continued to remind me to keep my thoughts in check and trust God. I need to continue to have my life and thoughts lined up with the word of God. No matter what our bank account looks like, what I may feel on the inside or what challenges my family/friends may be facing, I need to continue to speak the word and keep my perspective lined up with God’s regarding each situations. We can’t allow outside factors (media, coworkers, family/friends who aren’t living according to the word) to impact our lives and change our perspective. We must keep our eyes on Christ.

Pastor MiChelle spoke about making sure that we put the word of God in us continually so that when we are under pressure, the word comes out instead of profanity and negativity.  I know I need to do better with reading and mediating on the word. If we spend more time watching, listening to and mediating on secular TV/music, the lust, drama and attitudes associated with the media is the fruit that we will produce.  We all want to produce good fruit.

Matt 7:15-20 (NIV) 15“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Regarding being thankful and content with where we are now, I have to remind myself of this every now and then. I have goals that I want to accomplish (professionally, spiritually and naturally) and I know I have to be content and trust God no matter what. In His timing and perfect will, I will have what I’ve been praying for BUT in the mean time, I need to continue to be happy, patient and at peace.

Phil 4:6-7  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Four Slippery Steps to Adultery

No one’s marriage is above adultery. We are all flesh and no one is perfect. Each of us has to stay connected to Christ, stay focused on His word, remain holy in our thoughts/actions and accountable to our spouses and other brothers and sisters in the Lord. Many families are affected by adultery and it saddens me to see families broken apart because of sexual sin. Please read this article from Power of Change website. It’s a Christian site and I found the information to be very helpful.

Written by Ron and Nancy C. Anderson

Progressive choices that lead to destruction

At work, in our neighborhoods and during our daily activities we all encounter people of the opposite sex who are attractive.  That’s not the problem.  Our selfish choices after the attraction create the problem. Adultery has a progression and most people (even Christians) take these steps before they slide down the slippery slope.

I know, because I chose this path when I left my husband for a coworker named Jake. I know the lies I told myself, the selfish decisions that broke my husband’s heart and the sins I committed.  I also know the healing and restoration that took place when I confessed, broke off the affair, and found forgiveness from my husband and God. 

Although I have healed, there are scars that remain, even 25 years later, so I pray you will learn from my mistakes as you consider these progressive elements of adultery.

1. An Unguarded Mind

This is the “What if…” stage where your thoughts begin to grow unchecked. You find yourself asking questions like, “I wonder if he thinks I’m attractive? “, or thinking,  ”I hope she sits near me during the meeting”.

Perhaps you try to manipulate your schedule or activities to create more opportunities for contact. Nothing inappropriate has happened yet, but you think about the possibilities. If you allow this to continue, your emotions will grow, the fantasies will take root, and you’ll think about the other person in romantic or sexual situations.

Solution: If an inappropriate thought pops into your head, do NOT allow it to linger. Quickly remove yourself from any tempting situations. Don’t let your desires get out of hand. Refresh in your mind the things you enjoy about your spouse and your home life and determine not to take a sledgehammer to your marriage commitment. Ask for higher help.

2. An Unguarded Heart

This is the stage where your emotions run wild and you begin to lie to yourself. (In my case, I told myself I deserve to be happy.)  You may start to build emotional bonds with the other person by creating excuses to spend time together.  You may try to increase the positive contact and do things to please him or her. Example: If he mentions that he likes red, you may be tempted to wear a red dress or if she talks about a favorite flower, you may want to bring her one.

Solution: Seek help in getting control of your emotions. Consider the negative consequences if this flirtation continues: your spouse’s pain, loss of respect from children, friends, and relatives, and financial losses. You may need to confess your temptation to your spouse or a trusted friend who will hold you accountable because dark secrets have less power when you bring them into the light. Find a friend, counselor or a pastor who can help you seek God’s help. God planned marriage and He can help you restore yours.

Discuss this article on the blog How often do you think about your marriage?

3. An Unguarded Mouth

This step includes verbal flirtations and taking the relationship beyond theory into reality. Perhaps you begin by offering or responding to personal compliments such as, “You are the perfect match for me”, or  “When I’m with you, the rest of my life fades away”.

Knowing that compliments are like magnets, you begin to form an attraction and create a verbal intimacy that includes whispers, code words, pet names, and intimate secrets.  This can also include flirtatious or sensual/sexual email conversations and instant messages

The next verbal step is to talk about the “What if…”.  For example, “If I weren’t married, you’d be my soul mate” , or “I wish I’d met you before I got married”.  Jake and I used to play this fantasy game, “If we could run away together, where would we go?”

Then the negative words about your current mate begin:

“My husband treats me like a maid and never compliments me.”

“My wife just treats me like a paycheck and I’m not attracted to her anymore.”

“My wife/husband and I are just roommates and if it weren’t for the kids, I’d have left years ago.”

Solution: Focus on the good things in your marriage and try to compliment your mate at least once a day.  Be aware that any emails or IMs you send are not really private. If you would be ashamed to have your pastor or mother read it, don’t type it.  Concentrate on building up your marriage with your words instead.

Connect with your spouse through meaningful and encouraging conversation. Turn from the behavior that will destroy your home.

4. An Unguarded Body

This is the step where emotional adultery becomes physical.  Some people think that only intercourse defines adultery, but I strongly disagree.  If you have intimate, sensual contact with someone other than your spouse, it is a breach of your marriage vows. Ask yourself, “If my actions were photographed, would they condemn me?”.

I know how exciting the forbidden kiss is and how electrifying the stolen, passionate caress is but I also know how costly they are because I almost lost everything including my marriage.  I walked away from my relationship with Christ as I chose to follow my selfish heart into sin.  But I, like the prodigal son, came to my senses as I ran back to the Lord and He welcomed me home. Then I begged my husband’s forgiveness, broke off all contact with Jake, and rebuilt my marriage. Ron and I now help couples see that no marriage is beyond God’s ability to heal.

Solution: If you’ve already crossed the line, stop all contact with the other person, confess your actions as wrong behavior and ask for God’s forgiveness.

Determine to build into your marriage and into your spouse. Make a choice to turn your heart toward home.

http://powertochange.com/discover/sex-love/stepstoadultery/

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