What makes a man a good man? Is it how much money he makes? How successful he is? The fact that he is committed and faithful? That he loves God and his family? Because he’s responsible? Trustworthy? Hard working? Drives an expensive car? Buys his woman expensive gifts?
*What’s a good man to you?*
Between 18-20 I was caught up in the world’s way of thinking and if you had asked me back then what were characteristics of a good man, I would have answered the following. A good man is:
- A man how has plenty of money
- A man whose very good looking
- A man who takes care of his responsibilities
- A man that drives a nice car
- A man who has a job
- A man whose confident in himself and his abilities
- A man whose successful
- A man whose admired by others
- A man who owns nice things and buys his lady nice things
- A man who is faithful
Now that I am older, wiser and stronger spiritually, mentally and emotionally, my list is much different. Now I think a good man is:
- A man who loves God with all his heart
- A man who has integrity
- A man who is dedicated and diligently working to fulfil his purpose
- A man who works hard to please God
- A man who works hard to take care of his family
- A man who tries his best to resist temptation and avoid stumbling blocks.
- A man whose a good steward over his money
- A man whose faithful, honest, trustworthy and a good communicator
- A man who lines his lifestyle up with the word of God
- A man who loves to pray and praise/worship God
Dr. Myles Munroe’s “Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men. In the last chapter of the book, he spoke of 10 keys to becoming a real man. I thought this list was amazing and very true. I included his scripture references next to each key point.
- A real man desires and loves God and his presence (Luke 4:3)
- A real man seeks to restore God’s image in himself
- A real man aspires to work and to develop his gifts and talents (John 4:34, 5:17, 9:4 & 17:4)
- A real man honors his marriage and family above personal interest. (John 2:1-11)
- A real man endeavors to learn, live and teach God’s word and principles. (Gen 2:15-17, Matt 4:4 & Phil 2:14-16)
- A real man demonstrates faith and inspires it in others (Luke 1:37)
- A real man is committed to cultivating others to be the best they can be.
- A real man loves compassion, mercy and justice (Matt 9:36, John 10:11-15, Rom 5:8, Mic 6:8 & 2 Cor 5:20)
- A real man is faithful and loyal to the kingdom or God and his mission, the church (Matt 6:33 & Luke 10:1-24)
- A real man keeps himself in God (Jude 24)
Message to singles
Even though I was raised by both my parents and had seen on a daily basis what a real man was (because my father was and still is an awesome example) When I went off to college, I became a follower and I adopted the world’s views on what made a man a good man. I didn’t have any real standards, just superficial views of men and relationships. I thought a good man was someone who wanted to hangout with me a lot, spend money on me, had a nice ride and wanted to show me off to his friends. While it’s nothing wrong with those things, if that is all a relationship is about, then the relationship is pretty shallow. That was my immature way of thinking and that’s why the few relationships were unsuccessful.
When I rededicated my life and allowed God to do heart, brain and eye surgery on me, I started to think, see and desire a different type of man. I started to desire a husband who lined up with the word of God and the keys that Dr. Munroe mentioned. I no longer was satisfied with superficial, deceptive, lustful and useless relationships. I wanted a husband who was like my father, after God’s own heart and who was dedicated to pleasing God and caring for, providing for and protecting his family.
Ladies, while you patiently wait on God to send you your mate, make sure you have high standards and have adopted God’s views on what makes a man good. We have to put off the world’s ways of thinking and adapt a holy and Christ like mind set. It wasn’t until I let go of my exboyfriend completely and cut all ties with other friends and activities that were grieving the Holy Ghost, that I could begin the healing and preparation process to get prepared to meet my mate.
For those ladies who have their list and know what their looking for in their husband, make sure you are open to what God has for you, even if the package doesn’t look exactly how you thought it would. Many married couples say their spouses were not originally their type, meaning their typical physical appearance that they were used to dating. Think about it this way, you can marry a man who has all the perfect physical appearance that you desire but have an empty, lonely and miserable marriage. I’m not saying that the mate that God has for you will be ugly, no not at all, I’m saying that God knows whats best for you, what will blow your socks off, keep you happy and meet your needs. So if a guy approaches you that is not your ideal complexion, body type or hair, don’t write him off at first glance, get to know him, his heart, his relationship with God, his character, and then make the judgement call.
Message to wives
After reviewing the key points that Dr. Munroe gave regarding becoming a real man, think about which key your husband currently is doing well in and which areas you would like him to develop more. Continue to take the areas of needed development to prayer and walk in love and patience towards your husband. Holy Ghost is the only one who can change a man, not us nagging, yelling or lecturing our husbands about why they need to step it up. If your husband is actively working on many of the keys on the list, pray that he continues to walk with God with his whole heart and that he remains strong through the pressure and cares of this world. We are our husbands biggest cheerleaders and prayer warriors. We need them to know that we support them, were praying for them and that we believe in the gifts, talents and abilities that God has placed on the inside of them.
My church often preaches about the Proverbs 31 woman and the Psalm 112 man. Here is the Psalm 112 passage. I encourage single ladies to pray this prayer over their future mate and for the married ladies to insert their husband’s name in the verses and pray the confession over them.
Psalm 112 Man
2 His children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man. [c]
5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.
7 He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
his righteousness endures forever;
his horn [d] will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,
he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.