Lastnight my husband sang to me as I lay in bed because I wasn’t feeling well. He likes to pray for me and hold me close when I am under the weather. These things amongst many many others, makes Eddie a good man and husband. I woke up this morning thinking about how blessed we are in our marriage and how I desired for each of my single friends and family (male and female) to be blessed with a godly mate that meets each and every one of they’re needs also.
A few things contribute to some single women remaining single: the fact that some women go out looking for men (he that finds a wife finds a good thing Prov 18:22, not she that finds her husband), where some women spend their time at (looking to meet men in places where the good men wouldn’t hangout) and because they don’t have standards and trust in the Lord.
Let me start this next paragraph out by saying that I have been guilty of everything on thE above list. From 18-20 I made bad choices when it came to men and the result was me getting my heart broke a few times and getting involved in things that I knew I had no business doing. I was looking for the “right” guy, at my college, but I wasn’t looking for a husband, I was looking for someone to like me, give me compliments and spend time and money on me. I had an immature, worldly and unproductive mind-set. I wasn’t raised to think this way but somewhere alone the way I became a follower and easily influenced by those around me.
When I rededicated my life to Christ in Feb of 2002, I read the book “I Kiss Dating Goodbye.” The book reminded me of how God saw me and how Christians were supposed to view dating. I gained the confidence and trust in God to temporarily put dating on the shelf and truly get to know God and myself before asking God to bring a future husband for me the equation.
My roommate, who also now a devoted Christian wife and soon to be mother, had recently rededicated her life to Christ also. We had each other for support, accountability and prayer. We stopped going where we used to go and doing the things we used to do. When you want your life to get better you must start doing better! YOU MUST STOP DOING WHAT YOU WERE DOING, AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!!
So I stopped looking for guys, I changed where I was going and who I was hanging around also; that’s how I was blessed to meet my husband. We stopped going to wack frat parties up at our college and we put our faces in the books. We started attending singles meetings at Word of Faith and getting involved at the church. We both ended up joining. Our friend Esosa founded a Christian Productions Company called Friendship Productions, and he started throwing local Christian parties. I knew that I wanted to be around positive people who believed similarly as me. I knew I wanted to eventually meet a man who was on fire for God and wanted to know me and love me, not sleep with me and toss me to the curb. I was excited, I had found my church home and a core group of friends.
I met Eddie at the first FP party that I went to. We were truly friends for one whole year. I had NEVER been friends with a guy like that before. Where we knew we were interested in each other but decided that in Gods will and timing we would take it to the next level, but at that time we both just wanted to be friends. We didn’t hang out alone without the group (which hung out twice a week anyway) we weren’t pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend behind closed doors or on the phone, we were secretly making out when no one was around. We were just friends getting to know each other. We both took dating seriously and believed that it was for the purpose of marriage. We both had mistakes in the past and wanted to get our next relationship right.
We talked on the phone sometimes but it wasn’t all day everyday until a month before we started dating. I’m not saying this to brag, God gets all the glory. We love sharing our testimony and telling people that God blessed us to be able to do things the right way. We made some mistakes, we aren’t perfect, but we tried our best to glorify God.
Over the next two years I read lots of books about dating and single life. They really blessed me and I recommend these books to people all the time. Pastor Michelle’s “The Glass Rose,” Bunny Wilson’s “Knight In Shining Armor,” God’s Plan for the Single Saint” by Pastor Andre Butler,” Beauty For Ashes” by Joyce Meyers, He’s Fine But is He Saved, Kim Brookes and “Boy Meets Girl” Joshua Harris.
Once you decided that you are no longer going to search for Mr. Right, you change your environment so that you are able to meet a good, hard-working, honest, SOBER, holy productive man. Also make sure you have standards and know what you want in a mate so when someone approaches you, you can quickly find out if he’s worth your time. Here are a few examples: #1 Is he saved and have a intimate relationship with God? #2 Is he active at a church #3 Does he have a job? #4 Is he an honest man #5 Is he physically attractive to you? and so on and so forth, you get my point. Make sure you know what you want and WAIT on God to PRESENT him to you.
Message to my single sistas
God is faithful and he’s got your back. He knows what you need and what you desire. He created you. He loves you and wants to see you happy!! Don’t believe the worlds lies that tell you there are no good men out here, their all in jail, you might as well settle for what you can get. The devil is a lie!!! You are precious in God’s sight. You are worthy of pure, honest love, not lust. You deserve a man who will love you like Christ loves the church. Keep waiting on the Lord, He will renew your strength. Get active at your church, get a positive group of friends to hang around, volunteer, join a club, get a hobby, focus on yourself and your relationship with God. In HIS perfect timing, you man of God will reveal himself to you. You can pray Psalms 112 over your future mate even though you don’t know him yet. I really recommend all single ladies to read Knight In Shining Armor by Bunny Wilson. It will change your life.
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Prov 18:22He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD
Ephesians 5 (the whole chapter is about marriage)
1 Cor 6:18-20 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.